Christianity Oasis Forum

[jamisfaithnjoy]

isn't good so I need to get off my butt and quit surfing.I just checked my hotmail to see if I had anymore replies about a twin size box spring but there wasn't any so I clicked on a Crystal Light free sample link and lo and behold,how did I know it was going to lead to another link,then another...then another...and finally,minimum 50? questions later or better from do you want to sign up for this,do you want to receieve that,I MAY have a free sample of Crystal Light in the mail someday,if there wasn't a catch to it,lol.I just filled it out thinking there may be a day down the road when we might not either have anything to drink here or I may be in the mood for something different so I filled it out..The real catch probably is I'll have umpteen emails from who knows how many organizations wanting me to buy whatever it is their selling and either I wont be interested in the bulk of it and/or I just wont be interested in most of it,lol.Oh well,that's how it goes..there's pretty mucha catch to everything nowadays EXCEPT Jesus..I'll have to keep that in mind Love anyone that's reading this and those who aren't,lol..Gotta run

[jamisfaithnjoy]

a bit..And pray my life doesnt turn into a tiger of sorts by choosing to do this until I'm led to otherwise change it..I can see the benefits to my walk with God by simply choosing to lock this and I can also "see" the very possible downside of the evil one's attacks because..you know,I'm not even going to feed into that mentality...Dear Lord,I pray you will stay close to my side as I journey with you and shelter me from harm and the mental harm done by the very real "bad" world whether that's people or spirits..I ask you to stay real close to me as I'm definitely a little scared locking this journal up like this but..I think it's time I rely totally on you and am able to talk with you without apprehension in this form..Lord,I dont understand why I feel like i'm getting somewhere and sometimes make more good progress when I verbalize my prayers to you in journal format or my notebook when I dont have computer access but it usually makes me feel so much better..I love our quiet times too when it's just me and you and I'm talking to you so long I almost put myself to sleep..Sometimes I just have so much to say to you and I feel like maybe you get tired of hearing the same ole,same ole especially when I sin..I can just really see my life getting outta balance and quickly and those around me changing just as fast as I am and im not liking it all,whether it's me or them sometimes...Ive really been working on trying not too judge too harshly and you know I am full aware I shouldnt be judging at all so that's really no excuse huh.BUT it's hard Lord!I want to protect my son and keep him from this cold,dangerous and cruel world while he's here with me and that makes me study EVERYONE and anyone i see or suspect he's interacting with..Im looking for the evil's and I try to warn him BUT..you've showed me this way of trying to care is not going to work and hasn't...You don't want me to constantly be on his rear end when he swears,on his rear end when he makes a friend that doesn't go to church..Man this is hard too especially when I know the world watches and waits to see what you will do...and you know they do that Lord.When I say I never cared much before my Christian days what people thought of me or what I did and sometimes who,etc..when you tell me that NOW is the way wrong time to be start worrying and living up to or trying,other people's standards,I know you are right..You've also "told" me to watch my mouth that you're not too happy with it the last couple days and you don't like those things I put in it@smokes..But back to other's opinions,their idealogy of what's a good parent,what's not,how im supposed to act,etc...Yes,I know YOU are the ONLY one I need approval from and You will in your time,show me if i'm making a mistake,what I need to do to correct it and that definitely isn't easy especially when i've been letting things go for awhile or just try to turn my back to some things so I dont have to deal with them..That or the very unusual side of me but ive noticed been going on for almost a month now and SO NOT ME Lord..The side that is actually afraid I cant speak up to something because I fear?? losing someone or something..Where did this fear come from Lord?I wasnt even sure I knew how to spell that word until very very recently so why now?..Are you having me "feel fear" just so I recognize it when I'm really supposed to?Ive only grappled with that emotion when it came to my own partial death-near death experiences as far as any extreme fear goes..Other than that,I always know it will eventually go away.Lord,I know you have a plan for me,much bigger and much greater than I,and much greater than this area..That isn't what Im wanting and you know that@to keep be-bopping all over the united states for all eternity while im here..Lord,people around here,alot of them are just flat out snooty and mean..Some are nice but even the nice ones seem to have attitudes against Ohio?The state right next door?Lord,is that mentality kinda like when the college teams play?Or is it more like how whites are towards African-Americans because to be honest Lord,I'm thinking that's more the situation..Whenever something's brought up by even Sam with his friends family,the mom gets that same negative,almost disgusted tone that Davey carries from time to time that even I have to ask him,"why in the world did you ask me to marry me if you cant stand Ohio so much?" because thats where I moved from as you know Lord so to me,it's extremely disrespectful..And Lord,I know it's not nice but you know Im thinking right now that ignorance is truly bliss and apparantly there's alot of ignorant people around here..I'd rather be from Ohio than be uneducated,collecting government checks every month so I can sit around acting like an "armchair warrior" in someone's life while im drinking my moonshine and picking my toe jam out with fork tines..Ok,so they might not do that but it wouldnt surprise me...Since the 2nd week I was here,I said,"The southern hospitality is ALOT futher down than this area" and I still have to agree with that wholeheartedly..No one ever seems happy around here..At first,I thought it was just my old man but im starting to see it's this area in general..and I can see how it's making me become that way too and you know what?I really dont like to interact with negative people or people that are just intent on putting others down over things like their race,where their from,their income or lack of..So please help me Lord to keep my mouth shut when I encounter people that are obviously not of you because their making me become "Not of You" also..BUT Lord?Guess what?I KNOW that's a total lie the enemy's trying to feed me and has been increasingly trying to feedme that bull..Thank you Jesus for loving me,I love you so much..NO ONE makes me become anything...WHEN I walk right by your side and even hold your hand,these people could all gather in a group throwing darts and not a one is going to strike me BECAUSE you got me covered,fully with your coat of armor..It is when I forget to pray to you,do more than that and actually sit in solitude with you and put thsoe forever dishes and housework aside and jumping at the demands of every single soul in this house,pets included..I realize without you,there's no household here anyways so I really need to be putting you first before my free will and anyone period..I know that you will fully take care of anyone that tries to knock down the "temple" you are building in my home..You are so strong and powerful Lord..I am lucky to have seen what your power can really do..it's just as scary as it is amazing and fascinating BUT you're letting me know there's not much time for fascination anymore..It's time to buckle down and buckle down hard because this ride to life,everyone's life,is about to get alot more "bumpy" than it already was..You ARE God and you're coming back for your people soon and you're not putting up with things and people who have gone astray from you much longer..I see it everywhere Lord..I know this is all real and you are very real..Please stay near me,guide me and love me Lord..and help me to become as your son once was when he was here on Earth in human form..Help me to set that example and when I screw up,to get right back up QUICKLY and dust myself off because there's no time for me as myself when You as yourself are coming back..Lord,you know I keep having recurring ideas about "churching" in my home and yesterday Im thinking I need to reach kids around here with your Word..Am I crazy Lord,as alot of these parents,like I mentioned you know,you are watching me type and hearing me,...in their eyes,Im a "yankee" although you know I'm a Yankabilly,Cali,Arizona,Nevada-desert girl and their way off@who I am as a whole...So that's been on my mind..Am I to witness to these children that most i dont even know that run the streets in the form of like Bible studies outdoors or activities?Lord,you know I do love children passionately and have been very known to get myself in some real jams or close trying to help kids that arent mine..and even my own kids i guess..You have a plan Lord and Im not sure what it is..Im sure it goes beyond me doing the same ole,same ole everyday with slight variations..I dont think you would've gave me such a driven personality and some other strong traits just to use in a bad way..You have a BETTER plan for these traits..Lord,you do realize everyone's going to notice that im changing yet again but alot more now..I feel it..Help me dear Lord to focus on you and not get diverted by the course of changing that will be going on around me also as a result of you working through me and in my household..Change Lord..is scary and hard sometimes..But I know you have total control of everything period so I have no real reason to fear anything..Please help me to remember that when I forget Lord..Your will and power is all that matters..I am just an ant on the ground compared to you so this ant is getting off the ground and going to sit on your shoulders Lord..I am safe up here and I love you.Truly

[jamisfaithnjoy]

of my very busy afternoon to give thanks to the Lord for everything he has given me,and hasn't(will elaborate on that later) and much more importantly,every little thing whether materialism,advice,simply being a friend and all,that I have been able to do for others through Him..Thank you Lord

[jamisfaithnjoy]

Well,right now I am eating some stale I think,bbq chips that are all broken,lol@the remnants in the bottom of the bag.I'm not going to get into a big ole discussion on fried products being good for me,because their really not but unfortunately it's not in our budget to shop how I would much prefer to eat all the time@fresh fruits,fresh veggies,sugar free cakes and so on and so forth..But anyways,about my chips..I really would rather eat what Im eating now as opposed to a freshly opened bag..Being able to eat bottom of the barrel stuff AND like it,really humbles me and gives me a strange peace inside..In a way,it creates for me to never get out of my means and if it ever happens again,I'll be quite ok with it because I'm not living a "higher than" lifestyle or even desiring a "normal",as in thinking of only this household when I shop and paying top dollar but instead living under our means so if we ever do need something important or as in most cases,someonelse does,I have the couple extra dollars to be able to do that..Now that's where me and someone kinda differ and Im really trying to work on not slamming him so much for being "who he is",which is not a sacrificial type of person.I'm even feeling bad for things I say sometimes the last day or 2 and normally,it doesnt even dawn on me that I might be hurting someone's feelings even if..what I say I am really feeling or there's truth to it..And in the way I explain things sometimes around here,I dont yell,raise my voice most times or get combative at all..I see no need for all that and told Davey long before I ever agreed to get married ,"I do NOT believe in arguing">it's a pure waste of someone's health,and doesnt solve a thing..Not that discussing things solves things either sometimes but it's a whole lot better than 2 people going back and forth,no one listening to the other and if anything,seriously hard feelings develop..My son said the other day,"Every couple fights" and I shot right back with,"NO,not every HAPPY,JOYFUL IN THE LORD couple fights>" and that's exactly how I want my marriage to be and I'm not willing to accept much less than that.Yes,this world is falling apart as people know it..and marriages..and even friendships..and employment and hours getting cut back and as me and phan and some others discussed in the chatroom,even the bodies of water are "falling apart"..it's that time,the End IS near..Im aware everyone thinks differently on that issue and I respect that but that is my viewpoint according to what I see and hear with my own eyes and following the BIBLE ONLY as well.And Brandon talking about it.He seems to be a good "preacher" for the Lord.And again,this is my thinking and viewpoints only..if you feel different,so be it.Take it up with the Lord if need be..But back to what I was saying..Brandon,tonight,has a way of explaining things so everyone understands..He doesn't shove it down your throat and from what Ive seen with tonights discussion,if it is the same in the future,he wont have to..If it matches the Bible,I'm right there..Someone was in chat that disagreed the End times are here or even near and rather than combat them with the Bible's TRUTHS,he handled it much differently.I was very impressed.Not just because he's one of the owners of this site but because he seemed to have a built in knack for handling objectivity and testing from the enemy,which is what I think was going on.He is strong in the Lord and you may think that because someone owns something means they are what it is,thats not always true BUT I have faith this man is what he shows to be,truly,a Christian.Funny how I ended up in there tonight..I had been trying to remember the Bible studies at the church we were pretty much regularly attending and it dawned on me this evening there's was yesterday and Ive been feeling VERY out of place in the Lord due to not socializing with any Christian friends offline except calling my local friend every now and then and only 1 short visit since my Tennessee trip.Because I have developed or am in the process of through the Lord, a bond with a couple from the net,I hate to sound as if Im separating them from "non real friends" to "real" friends,meaning offline BUT my friends of which I speak are aware people need in person socialization to aide in being healthy minded.To those ladies that are married to a strong God fearing man,had all their children from one man and have lived the "happy homemaker" life,my hats off to you.You may not need or desire a "social outlet" strongly if at all.I have met people like that along the way of life.But there are also the not completely old fashioned peeps that do live all the life of what I described BUT took to the internet for "friendships" as opposed to for whatever reason being able to make them in the area in which they live..The world has really changed that way..Back in the day,the day depending on the age of the person,it was unheard of to have a country homemaker be "tuned in" to anything but the television at the end of a long hard day..At the very core of me and my relationship with God combined,me,yes at 39 years old,lol strongly desire to take on the mindset of a woman in the say 1920's or 1930's...Ive been very interested in that era more so the last 2-3 years.the more God reveals to me about the world in which I live,the more I want to mentally retreat back to a time in when the world,and life as a result,was a whole lot better than anything going on today.I am thankful fo r the Lord that I have life,dont mind my age too much or age group although with the exception of a couple,have always been more drawn to making friends with ladies much older than me,I have problems relating to my generation and for sure the groups under mine..to look at me in person,you may not see the "old school" inside but if you asked me what I'd like to do for entertainment,you might be utterly bored if you're a "new age" type,anything beyond 1984,lol.So Ive been thinking lately of figuring my place in this world and yes,still,many a time,"who am I? what is my actual purpose for being in this world?".I've never much felt Im just here to be another body,do the rituals of day to day life,grow up in one area,stay there,grow old and die..That may have only appealed to me once before I realized the world isnt going to be here forever and then got a super itch in my drawers to want to see many places and nature everywhere possible..I wish I could live forever I think often..Yes,here on Earth with a picture perfect,very happy life and find myself many times over trying to create that only to time and time and timeeeeeeeee again,to be letdown..And sometimes that depresses me but not for long as I am normally pretty resilient,even to my own feelings and/or emotions..Do I want an actual happily ever after here on Earth? Yeah right,Im a woman..If I did,Id find a reason to complain about that too..I think it's just in a female's nature to complain...men call it nagging Ive heard,lol..we,females,just want everything just so or just right and when its out of order and we cant "fix" something,what do we do? were venting online someone,offine in a journal or calling someone up,"Did you know....?"But you know what,I'm actually tired of complaining also because to me,complaints are a result of a behavior somewhere being repeated and i'm not the type of person to pull my hair out daily,stay stressed,whine and cry to a million people for years and years...days and months,maybe..depending on how strong my emotions are for someone at that time BUT normally if I get too tired of the same ole,same ole and it's negative and looking like it'll never let up..I just walk..it has very little to do with my love or not for a person..I just am not the typical female punching bag physically or emotionally anymore.Those days were over after I left home..I am worth much more than that,I DESERVE,yes,much more than misery from humans and by the grace of God and Him only,will I ever find a "comfortable medium" in life..Or better known as "the old school way".Anyone that is truly fascinated by today's day and age and all the constant commotion,emotion,unsettledness in the world and is OK? with all that,truly needs help..And im not talking about people that unfortunately are victim to their own upbringing or abuse of sort..Im talking people that generally enjoy going 5,000 miles per hour because were taught in today's world,full throttle ahead is good ..and you know?Alot of people dont even know there's anything wrong with that sorta mindset..I do,Ive lived it before..it's called crash n burn..Lord,I thank you so much for coming into my life when you did or I'd not being going my mere 2,000 mph..it'd be a full 5. God bless

[jamisfaithnjoy]

to mention something after my last entry..my neighbor had been in the hospital since Saturday afternoon from sharp chest pains and came home yesterday.Funny how you get to know someone's patterns like when they take their dogs out or that they like to tinker in the yard cuz you're outside too so you see them alot so when I didnt see him Sunday evening and Monday,i really started to worry that something was wrong..And after I seen his wife bring the trash cans in,I knew something for sure wasnt right.She's got health issues and since ive lived here,Ive only seen her outdoors once? or twice possibly so that was out of the ordinary..Today he was outside and we waved back and forth and I dropped what I was doing in the yard and walked over there.I told him I suspected something was up and had prayed for him.Also told him the hospital couldnt keep him tomorrow because it's too odd when he's not outside tinkering around,lol..I thought to myself why it had bothered me so much that change had occurred and realized that was exactly it..it was different and i was uncomfortable with it..didnt matter that it wasnt in my own home..it was still in my "world" around this town,which believe me,has taken a tremendous amount of effort and prayer to even get used to due to an overall feeling of seriously unfriendly folks so having an oldtimer to talk to from time to time gives me some sort of i wouldnt say happiness but a serene feeling of sorts inside..I think everyone should spend time with oldtimers..You would be surprised how much you can learn from them and in turn,they can actually learn stuff from you although..it' been my experience when I meet older and elderly people,their full aware of my generation and arent so enthralled about it as I am theirs,lol..My life feels like the movie Groundhog Day sometimes..I could swear Im doing ALOT of the same things I did in my own home that I owned and ended up having to floreclose on last year so I cant help but think..If i do and am doing the same exact things I did then but with slight variation,will the end result be the same? And how do I know?..This is where faith in God comes in and I need not be giving stuff like that much more thought..actually anything that isnt in direct accordance with the Lord..Sure,if I have nothing better to do I can BUT it's not going to keep me close to the Lord and Im sick of taking Tylenol...God bless everyone out there and goodnight..See ya tomorrow,Lord willing

[jamisfaithnjoy]

how many other people experience this...

You go through the course of your day,you'll be doing whatever and all a sudden the Lord starts talking to you and it's something you really feel in your heart is worth "sharing" on here wherever you prefer to post your thoughts but..by the time comes and you go online,all the incidents of the day and your conversations with the Lord are all but vanished.You not only forget you was wanting to share something,the incidents themselves are a million miles away from your memory.This isn't quite the same as "memory problems".And it happens bare minimum every other day..Like yesterday,for the life of me I cannot remember what the Lord was saying to me when I was on the back porch but I remember where I was standing,what was going on BUT..the actual convo with Him eludes me.So I wonder is it He only wants us to share certain things and maybe He just isn't literally allowing us to remember everything as if we did,there'd be no privacy of sorts between you and Him.I'm going to recap my yesterday with the time allotted to me right now,as this is going to be a busy day from the looks of it.Not only that,but I took my Niacin not long ago and if I don't take an aspirin an almost exact 20 minutes beforehand,like a nurse long ago told me,I break out in the "flush" which I do not like.it makes your ears tingle and hot and sometimes a bit hard to breathe.Sometimes I turn tomato red from it and bust out in hives but that's only when I forget to clock the timing just right or lose track of time and elapse the 20 minutes.They do make the Flush Free type but Ive had more than one doctor tell me that's no where near as effective,one said it doesnt even do it's job,as just a full strength caplet.So I got prescribed that over 2? years ago from high cholesterol,which stumped the tar outta me because at least back then,lol I was eating very stringently and not "cheating" with doughnuts,cakes,fatty meat,etc and it was STILL high..Ahhhh,later my then doctor,who was very good,would tell me the way I had yo'yo "dieted" for years is harder on the body as opposed to just eating whatever I felt like.Well,ive suffered from bulimia for as far back as I can remember.I wanna say roughly 16-17.I always felt "fat" and seemed like no matter how much I exercised,cut back on this and that,I never attained the weight goals I desired.They may have been unrealistic for my height though.That I'm aware of.I'm 5"10 and always wanted to be between 125-no more than 140.Like the models.Picture perfect and could seemingly fit into whatever they wanted to.I didnt think they went through what I did which was a nightmare trying to shop for clothes because my mind is in the size 10 and down section while my body is staring at a 14 and up.I used to get soooooooo mad and VERY depressed when I had to shop for anything or would really need clothes.it seemed like such a chore and I did not end up buying something I could say I honestly really liked.Why?because I didnt think I looked good in anything but mission impossible.Stuff for naturally built petite people.Plus all the guys when I was younger seemed to go for the girls with perfectly straight teeth,straight hair,sizes 8 and under and of course from rich or well to do homes.Well,we werent "poor" by government standards but with my family's drinking problems and I wouldnt find out until only 3 years ago,then serious drug problems,we were lucky to get one pair of pants,one sweater,a pack of socks and I pair of shoes for the new school year.In the summer,if my mom had a few extra bucks of her won,she'd take us to Goodwill and let us pick something out.I always enjoyed that as to me it felt like treasure hunting BUT when it came time for school I felt very ashamed.We lived in a pretty ritsy community,Sylvania,Ohio and here I was wearing 2nd hand stuff.Plus,I was always told I would never amount to anything and constantly physically beaten to a pulp at times so in hindsight,I didnt really have much a chance to develop any healthy self-esteem.As I entered my 20's and had been long moved away from home and had my own money to buy stuff I needed and fought a long hard battle to make myself "beautiful" on the outside,I still never truly believed it contrary to what many other people would al;ways tell me..My girlfriends didnt literally envy me but they did tell me often how pretty I was and could have anyone I wanted.Boy did I ever accomplish that alright and I dont have many good stories to share either far as my dating years went so I still never came to the point,I FELT I was beautiful.Whether by Hollywood,rofl standards or just everyday looking people.I never found that sense of comfort in who I was.Finally,after I had my second daughter that resulted in a C-section that had left a scar horizontally across my stomach and ANY weight I would then gain resulted in me looking like a well fed kangaroo the way the fat hung over.THAT would do it for me.I finally gave up on wearing bikini'a for the most part,even trying to look good anymore because the only bottoms I could now buy were ones with puches made for people with big bellies!And I was tickeddddddddd I didnt have a big belly! I had a stinkin kangaroo POUCH!..Just mad me want to go to Australia so i could fit in with the rest of the kangas..I had so many dreams that REQUIRED you to look good and had started a few but after that,I just completely gave up.my self esteem was as low as it could get..and I became a drunk.At least I thought if I didnt look beautiful,I'd be too drunk to realize it and wouldnt notice the looks from men I no longer was really getting..Well,I'm 39 now,married and to be honest,I still don't think I've ever reached that level of beauty I aspired for my whole life.IF I had been able to,I might be alot further in life and have a whole lot of money so I can support every cause I believe in,adopt as many kids as possible,buy a huge farm and hire a bunch of nannies when it dawns on me I got myself in over my head but meant more than well...Tis life,we win some,we lose some but in the end,I think it only matter if Jesus is attracted to me and he for sure isnt looking at the outside so much as the inside..So thats makes it easier to just throw on the same shorts every few days,grab a pair of flip flops,throw my hair back and not do it up and head out the door comfortably and not care too much if Im looked at or not...And that took me almost 39 years to figure that out@in the grand scheme of things,looks truly dont make a butt of a difference for yourself.I'm not even going to get into the laws of attraction between people because I was going to say it doesnt matter what others look like either but that wouldve spilled over into a while new territory which consists of,yes I really think it helps to be attracted to your mate.other than that,no,looks go very much unnoticed by me.ive been with the(using the old style labeling just for the purpose of description then.. "cutest",the "not-socute-",the "obese" by medical standards 10 years ago,,the "lankiest"-thinnest, and to be totally honest..What I wasnt getting because I not only didnt know God personally then,I didnt know I shouldve looked for a>>> a man that just has his priorites as such...God first!!!! Family next....extended family next/friends...whateverelse God deems he should have in this place..Thats all for now..everyone have a beyond beautiful day>its very hot and humid here in Indiana today. God bless you and have a safe weekend please,thank you

[jamisfaithnjoy]

I just realized I didnt "recap my yesterday" really in my prior post but that's ok.I may have time later today,or not.Thats somethingelse I need to work on@perfection.That i surely ain't!lol..yeah,yeah,so I know that isnt an actual word but whose editing me?The Lord?I don't think he cares much about my grammar so long as it's clean Toodles

[jamisfaithnjoy]

I just typed out a VERY important thing I needed to get out of my system as to why I do NOT want to finish in my member testimony,what happened to me in those days at Firelands Hospital from July29th,2004 to when I finally left that hospital almost 3 weeks later.I had it all almost done and typed out and my screens started flipping and the original post was gone..So short of retyping it all,which Im not going to do because it's getting pretty late and I still have to do some things online before I hit the hay,..What I was trying to say on it wassss.....I dont want to finish it because I do not even understand why I have to remember any of it in the first place.What happened to me after I went up to the ICU was inhuman at it's very core,a clear depiction of what REALLY goes on sometimes behind closed doors in hospitals,particularly the emergency rooms and critical care units.This is stuff you probably would not see on a typical tv show as if the media WAS to advertise the TRUTHS about "shift change time" and you happen to be the patient whose dying but fighting still...or your worst mistake,you recall the doctor attempting to give you a shot of something to help you die basically and you are CONSCIENCE through all that and they discover that up in I.C.U. and had suspicions of it in the emergency room but you're so in not good shape you dont have the mentality to try to hide your motives at that point..which is simply to get out of the hospital ALIVE..and they watch you and stand outside your door..discussing between themselves just how much you may remember about the Dresded shot in the e.r. or Dresdead..Am not sure how it's spelled..My mom worked at St. Vincent's hospital in Toledo,Ohio since I was an infant and wayyyyyyy after what happened and all was said and done and I was moved out of that town,she did tell me what happened to me happens a whole lot more than people think BUT because of job losses,most employees that witness stuff of a serious magnitude@pulling plugs when they werent ready to be,upping doses to fatal levels if they let their feelings get in the way on particular patients situation or worse yet..you go in with government insurance..and this statement was verified by more than one person Ive spoke to that's worked in a hospital..A good amount of hospital employees at the "average" hospital or medical facility do NOT care for patients with like Medicaid or HMO's through welfare.Sometimes with no insurance to I was told but they seem to not be so hostile in treatment towards those people.Their whole attitude is their working to pay for your stuff@medical,foodstamps,etc..so if you're the unlucky one coming through the door and your hearts out of rhythm and they had a bad day and you don't have phenomenal insurance,..do I really need to share what could happen?..Im not going to..I just have to finish what happened to me..Not start a virtual reality show on Top 10 reasons not to go into a hospital between 5 am and 7 am or a couple hours shy of 11 p.m...and n=another I may call,'What NOT to do if you wake up remembering events and some are of the staff who were in a "hurry to get home"..and of course they have buddies on other floors..Just hope and oray it's not where you're headed next-ICU..because ONLY the grace of God is going to save you from this point out..NOTHING else,believe me,have lived it...Enough for now..I love everyone and the storms of life get harder and the enemy tries to get us to rise up against each other but as I see Brandon,Phan and ?(not sure who else works with the guys) put up in a few spots,"SAME TEAM"..We are..Christians..And that doesnt go without real,deep meaning..God bless.Thank you Jesus..and my heads starting to hurt.Always does when I start talking about that@2004

[jamisfaithnjoy]

I was just flipping through my hotmail and normally,if I don't recognize the sender,I don't bother with it but..I had accept a LifeScript subscription when I signed up for something as I have a tendency to say "no" to everything when I'm looking for programs online.The last week it's crossed my mind that if all I have to do is allow a "little junk" in my email to show some kind of supposrt to a program that's giving me a free service,how hard is that?I mean,if I had spent months and even years developing something and the only thing I needed to keep it going was people just accepting the extra ads and they turned it down..although I was doing them a service,to be honest,if I wasnt a Christian,it'd quickly no longer be free.But as a Christian,I'm required to start thinking more of other people and helping them.Now Im not going to accept every little sponsor subscription that comes my way but the topics I truly do have an interest in,I will.So this was one I did and the topic today for it was "Be kind" and I thought I'd share it because I have not been kind around my house lately.Doesnt matter that it may or may not be justified.Oh,this is so much easier said than done but guess what? we're Christians and with a serious walk in Christ,we have to do it.AND like it.So the sooner,I and we,start doing it,probably the better off our lives are going to be.Someday.Somehow.In the Lord..Hallelujiah!!!!!

I'd like you to consider a very simple request: Be kind. This appeal came to my mind as I stumbled across an interesting and poignant quote of Plato's: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

[jamisfaithnjoy]

Oh,and I got my index finger caught in the lawnmower today trying to pull clogged grass up with it running..Lucky I didnt lose it but the blade went under my nail and cut it good under there. it still hurts unbelieveably bad at times and no pain meds so having to "grin and bear it",ack!Done typing for now.My finger hurts too bad. Love ya and God bless everyone whose reading this and those who aren't Jami

[jamisfaithnjoy]

20,000 Leagues Under The Sea...
That's the name of the movie I picked out to watch when Im done typing here.I can hear it playing in the background but I will restart it soon.It was created in 1916 I believe.This may very well be the oldest movie I've ever seen and that's good.I need the relaxation and serenity of a time and era where life was not rush,rush and make you lose your mind.Or you look away and miss something.Back then,you could turn your head for days on end and miss nothing The simple delight of a mom cooking in the kitchen or scrubbing clothes on a washboard.A gent out in the fields all day then comes home to eat supper,would most times take off again and come back in long after dark.Men back then were workers by nature.It was just the way life was.And the woman did her best to prepare a hot meal and raise the kids right.Well,it was easier back then because no one split up or divorced.@ 2 parent homes was the norm for 80 years and I'm not sure what they would've done if one or the other was cheating?? or threatened to leave or did??THAT was just plain unheard of.Men didnt abuse their wives and kids didnt come up missing and found murdered.The world may not have been perfect but I can guarantee you,it's a world I would rather much lived in then my own generation.Yes,you will hear me harp on this subject from time to time and sometimes often.Why?Because I like blessings and beauty.You ask what does blessings have to do with it..Alot actually..When you're mind is in a more relaxed state,it is much more possible to be able to "hear" God speak to you.I have lived in some big cities and I've lived in the country as well as I am now and I will vouch for that>>noise interrupts your train of thought and constant commotion does not allow one for a much needed one on one with the Lord..Ok,so if you reside in a sound proof building,you are one of the lucky ones.But see,this is where we adapt to our surroundings.Most feel we have to.We make the best of what we have or the area we live in or were brought up in..Few like to "make the break" and take the risk of going for something better even if it takes them far away or into an area totally unknown with no family and friends there to start with.How many of you have ever did a totally blind move just to have the chance at a better life?For yourself and/or your children?.Or just because it had less crime?Better weather?...Ohhhhh,here's a good one I just thought of..How many people do you know have WILLINGLY and PURPOSELY moved into a bad area or an area the "average folk" would not think of reading about let alone so much adventuring into there?..But someone did..They weren't afraid..Not of the possibility of death..Not of fear of the unknown in that area..Not the fear they had no resources at their disposal to really survive on.Not ones like you and I think of@toilet paper,ready made food or even a stove to cook on...Oh,and the housing in which they lived?IF they even had any?..What about a little shack? Maybe that would be their temporary stay and then onto another hut or who knows where they would go..WHY didnt they fear anything and WHAT in the world would make someone do such a thing?Wouldnt everyone think there was something seriously wrong with them?Didnt it seem like they were choosing a harder life "on purpose"?And you'd wonder when they'd snap back to their sense and go back to a more "comfortable" life somewhere..But you see,you have the picture wrong..They ARE afraid..Of losing souls..And it's no game for them..The only winners are the ones who find God.Many will die trying.Many will die for trying.Some of them will be killed for not being afraid.The enemy in others senses no fear in us when we are carrying the Sword of God within us.We are ten feet tall and bulletproof in Christ and nothing can touch...our soul.No nothing.God has us and he's going to take some of us all over the ends of this Earth and back.Most may not drive but He's going to take you there anyways.Most may have little to no money but God's going to lead you to places you haven't even heard of.The Lord knows your needs but he also knows everyonelse's.He was already here once.Now it's our turn to prove what we can do for Him.And when our work is finished from here in the United States to Cambodia,to England,To Greenland,to...anywhere you want to go.God is there AND He will take you there to get his people.But guess what?He will be back for you also and you haven't got long.Get to where He needs you to be in life and go where he wants you to go.Whether that's to a whole other country by yourself,relocate to help a fallen family member in Christ renew their strength, an online friend who clearly needs real day to day help and has no one, or the elderly people in your area who face what no one should EVER have to at their age@living a life of aloneness and afraid of dying that way.Reach your heart out to God's people and the people you are unsure of.God will present your life to you someday and all that you have or have not done in His name.How much of that movie are we able to withstand?Time is short.Pray for God's calling for your life now and trust me,it will be revealed to you.And I suspect,rather quickly with this day and age were in.It's moving too fast.God won't be much longer.Hallelujiah.

[jamisfaithnjoy]

I totally am not even sure.i just saw the beheading video of a guy formerly from an area I used to live.@Perrysburg/Sylvania Ohio.Daniel Pearce was his name.This happened some time ago.If anyone followed the story back then or watched the news then,he was kidnapped by an extremist group over in the Middle East.To save some time right now,and especially after seeing the video,as opposed to just hearing about the stuff constantly@fighting and wars in the Middle East whether through the news,years back when I used to keep up with the trash in the world,The only word I can really conjure up for that man is..those people will have to answer to the same God I serve and every other Christian someday.Unfortunately for those folks though,they got a big suprise coming when their own time's up and the discover there's no Allah or whomever they serve in Heaven but instead,a VERY real Lord and Saviour.One who has a set plan and there's no room for negotiation.Some tend to believe it's the "amount of stuff" you've done wrong in your life that determines where you end up after you die.That is simply not true.It is also not living a life in Christ your whole entire life,then for whatever reason(and we know the reason but God has conquered Him )you wake up one day and decide ehhhh,,I'm tired of serving God..I want to be a bigger part of something with ALOT more action than Christianity can offer.So maybe you'll hop the fence and serve some other God...Allah..The Virgin Mary..ummm,I hate to be the bearer of bad news here but Mary was a human being in the flesh.NO where in the Bible does it instruct the children of God to worship her..And the golden calves..im sure there are still some countries doing that stuff too..So I don't know if Daniel was a folllower of Christ or not..I didn't study that far into it when it first happened and recall back then just shoving it out of my mind as the more I seemed to learn about terrorism and all the evils in the world,the more scared I became to walk out of my own door,yes,on American soil..Well,sometimes it takes seeing something like what I just saw to PROVE to you,life is so very short and I could be going about my life serving the Lord as I so definitely love to do..reading my Bible,going to church,helping people when and where I can when the call is brought to me,being a dutiful but yes,like all,struggling with staying afloat in Christ but it's time something's brought to the attention of all who love the Lord,serve Him,choose not to serve him or heed the call when He gives you a purpose..All of our time is going to be up some day..It may not be by beheading,it may not be by a car accident or any other "unnatural" causes but all the same...The clock is a ticking and Jesus will be coming and not too far away.Will it happen in my lifetime?I don't have any way of knowing that.For Jesus says we will not know the time,day or hour nor the angels in Heaven."..Ahhhhh...We NEED to be prepared..While we always like to go on and on about our needs..Im guilty of this too..Aren't we all?..How many of those "needs" are actually wants?...Are wants truly important?...What if we spent one whole week saving up for a trip to anywhere on the weekend and took moments out,as most of us do,to come onto this site...we read a few posts,some people read and post ALOT..A friend of mine on this site told me not too long ago,"Your money will be where your heart is."...Ohhhhhh..I forgot!sorta,,,,not..This site isn't ran for free,is it?And you know,at least twice a week,it literally comes outta nowhere in my mind to remember to send ANY kind of payment in..NOT because I have to(i'll get into that later on)..Not because anyone's directly asked me..Not because we sometimes have alot going out billwise and are about to be switching over to other companies because 2 were with are milking us dry and raising rates to astronomical numbers compared to our prior charges..BUT I was outside today hanging my laundry up and outta no where,"something" told me to come inside on go on craigslist and type in "washer" in the search area...I did NOT have time for Craigslist right then I thought..For crying out loud,I was cooking dinner,as I said,trying to finish laundry,my son coming and going,Davey about to be home any second..NOT a good time to be jumping online at all...But I knew that "voice" with no sound..I have gotten accustomed to it telling me what to do when I least expect it..When,like today,I'm busier than a bee in a beehive..Often in inopportune times..So I said out loud to myself,"I better hurry this up."Almost ran to the computer to type washer in the search area and..I couldnt believe my eyes!!!!!!There was an ad for a $25.00 Maytag(one of the best in my opinion)and in great condition..I had to re-read the ad like 3 times,lol..I didnt even pay attention to when the date of the ad was..I was so excited to see the $25.00 detail.I figured in my mindthat what's the most that's going to happen that would upset me?They wouldnt have it anymore?Oh well..If they didnt,it wasnt meant to be for me then..I surely wouldnt get actually upset or even let it affect me for longer than a literal 3 seconds.And I called..."Yes,I still have it." the man says..Oh man,I must have sounded like a speeding bullet at that moment with all the joy in my voice and the surge of adrenaline of total joy at that moment I felt...I KNEW in the deepest part of my heart,it was a blessing..Y'all know I'm not fearful of putting my inventory out there for the Lord and as a way of learning for myself and others BUT..you know..I hadnt been the nicest person in the world recently..The usual@Spiritual Warfare..Now dont get me wrong and think,"When is this chick ever going to get it?"..HA!I "got it" long time ago..But if you know what a Holy war is and realize you too are in one,when I say I've been pretty thoughtful with my tongue and the sharp words that like to find their way out.."Something' is changing me from the inside out..That all too familiar something..And to think I was wanting to lose weight again?..God said,"I need you to focus on growing strong in me my child.I need you to obey me.You have a general idea of what you need to be doing now,and more than you have been.Focus on ME,the Lord says.Don't worry about what Davey,Sam,people online,the mailman,the milkman,the birds outside or the passerby's are doing or thinking..I have told you over and over child...WHEN I am your focused,you will be TRULY blessed.And when you die someday,I WILL be truly blessed as well to have you as a new child in my kingdom." Thank you Jesus so much for the opportunity at an affordable washer.Thank you for allowing me and mlg to communicate through this medium as you know she is such a wonderful person.She is more reliable than doughnuts finding their ways to my hips when it comes to replying or keeping in touch.I have no doubts she's the same way in person as well..For Bren too Lord..It was good to hear from her..Please show her where she's supposed to get furniture and stuff for her new place and when.Please be with Adam too Lord and help to keep him under your wing always.There are about 5 others on here Lord I'd like to pray for.Someone in Florida that is desiring to live on her own someday.Please be with her at this time and show her the paths to take in that direction if that is your will for her.if it is not dear Lord,please show her what routes to take otherwise.I pray for ange Lord as I have not chatted with him in awhile and hope he is doing well.I pray that you touch the hearts of those who frequent this site and have the means to help keep this site up and running.You know the site's needs Lord and the people who created it and help to maintain it.Please continue to show them guidance and less them with the very basics always.This I truly ask God.You know I worry there sometimes but it's not my worry and someday I will "get that'.It is your worry and you will take care of all and well,those who truly seek you.I pray for the ones who don't,don't know how or have yet to find you.Bring them all to your Light as you've told your children,you will knock and whoever hears it,to let you on in!:) And Lord,I'm so happy you're here with me today,that you are here on this website and working today in all of our lives as you were way before my time.Show me how to get closer to you and how to be the kind of servant to you I strongly desire to be.Even when I'm bad.Even when I'm not so easy to handle.And most of all,please protect my friends and family and extended family and their families.We all need you.Daily.ok Lord,I'm not sure if you like mt to pray openly very detailed like I just did but you know I went blank and just started typing from something other than me.i better go Lord.I have to go read your Word and pray for another day..I love you.