Christianity Oasis Forum

[sandrad05]

Step 8 I have been dealing with for well a very long time. I have learned that many of the trails i go through is do to my own actions and thoughts that led me to respond as i did. I see trails as things I brought on my self.
Tribulations I see as things the devil as brought to steal, kill, and destroy me and mine. This things I have done nothing knowing to cause. Such as my daddy's death and my sister's death( now they had made choices that cause the events that followed.) but the rest of the family was left venerable to the attacks from the devil afterwards. My mama's cancer even that there was a choice made to smoke, but what trigger the need to cling to a devise to sooth the emotions within her. and my daughters birth defect there is no reason for that. No one did any thing wrong it was something that happened.

I have also at times(not all times) been excited about things happening because through the things I had been through I found God at the end of the trail or tribulations. and it was a time of healing and renewing.
and though the truth that sin is the root of our trails and tribulations. I still praise my Father who is all ways at the end waiting to wrap his arms around me and comfort me and renew me.


sandrad

[mlg]

Sandra...I look at you and I see a woman who is stronger in her Faith than she realizes. You know I think that often you have been through trials and tribulations and overcome by grabbing on to your Faith...and fighting the Good fight...I also see a God who loves you very much...and blesses you more than I think you realize. Each trial sis and each tribulation is another opportunity for God to strengthen your Faith and Trust in Him. I feel He has awesome plans for you...and He needs a strong soldier in His army. Keep on fighting sis.

luv ya

[sandrad05]

Hey my sister,
No I do not see my self as you. I just see a lot of scars and every day I just try to apply God's word to them so they will stay soft and fleaible. And not become tough and unable to streach as I grow. I see the past trails and tribulations that leave scars and left unattended they can not streach and that is where the pain comes in for most of us. We are always paying attention to fresh wounds and think the scars are healed which they are, but they too have to have the word applied to them, You know what I mean?
Thank you so much for your words are seldom said to me. i am kind of invisible around those of my family and friends. Not that I do what I do for them to say anything nice. It is just every once in awhile it is nice to hear.

I did not realize it until you said it but my source has always been to reach out in faith. Find the place where I can stand in the mist of the storm.sometimes you have to crawl around to find the rock. I have just always have looked at the struggle. I think i will be looking at things a lot different on this now.

There is one more thing I would like to say for the reason.
something happened two days ago and I have tried very hard to let it go. And I know that will it will just take time.

I have had a heart attack about 5yrs ago. It did not leave any damage and I am fine. But there are times when my heart tightens up and feels as if it is struggle to pump. And it begins to hurt down my arm. I know the systoms of a heartattack and these are systoms. It brings fear to me when I am facing these systoms and I know that it is the devil reminding me of that time. I always overcome the systoms by laying down and praying until I feel my heart relax and pump. This happened to me two days ago and my daughter was here. I told her and she seem concern. I ask if she could please stay here until this passed? ( they were on their way to his aunt's house) I sleep in a reliner by my mama bed and I laid down there and closed my eyes and began to pray. a few mins. had passed and my daughter said they had to go but she would call to check on me. so she left. which meant I had to get up. because my mama needed help to the bathroom she need this and that. I felt like usually she does not need so much at one time by this moment of all moments she needs a hundred things for me to do. I felt angry inside and then I felt shame. My chest would not stop hurting and the pain in my arm got worse. My puppy was also sick at the same time. And I am trying to clean up her mess and care for my mama and ignore what was happening in side my chest. I could not tell my mama she would have panicked. And that is the last thing she needed. And I started thinking Oh my God if something happening to me she we be the only one here and she can't hardly even get up, much less try to help me. I was so afraid for my mama that would be so very horrifing for her. And I just begged God don't let it happen when it is only mama here. and then I called my son Bubba and before i could tell him what was happening he told me he did not have time to talk and hung up. I am not sure what I am feeling only that I feel invisable and unloved by my family. i will deal with these feels I alway do with the help of God. It is why your words came at such a perfect time to come. i needed to hear something positive about me. Thank you again.

Love ya
sandrad

[mlg]

Sandra

I know you have had a heart attack..but it sounds like you also are having anxiety attacks...which of course are similiar in symptoms to heart attacks...and I must say these aren't good for you either...and when you lay down and pray the calmness helps to take away the feeling...I used to have anxiety attacks too...but it's been almost 5 years now since I've had one...one way I used to get through them was to run myself a warm bath and to sit with Christian music on and relax...then I would go to sleep. Helped a lot. Just know that you are not alone...God is always near.

Praying for you sis

luv ya