Christianity Oasis Forum

[Guest]

I am starting on this journey again. My thoughts after reading this are that these spiritual walls that we put up; why do you say not to tear them down if they need to be? Having faith may be a problem. this is what is today:I am at the point of no return where I have finally started to accept the parts that are inside me. I have accepted it for myself and myself alone. Where will this journey take me? I believe it will take me to freedom. I have been under the heavy chain of denial and doubt for so long that now it seems as if I have come outside to enjoy the view of the sunshine. What will I find? How will I cope? Once I wrote down that once you enter a journey you have to make sure God is at the head. that I cannot leave him out that he has to be the one who guides me, showing me what path and steps to take.
God gave me a scripture the other day from Isaiah 45:2-3 "I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass and cut in sunder the bars of iron: And I will give thee the treasures of darkness, the hidden riches of ancient places, that thou mayest know that I, the Lord,which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel"
I knew right then that God had started to open up things to me. It has been a long journey for me. It's as if you cannot get these treasures without some kind of pain or sorrow or suffering. There are no sunny shinny days when you go through the darkness, and perhaps what you see in the bright sunshine you will not be able to see in the darkness. There are some things that I am beginning to realize for myself; that I cannot compare my life with another person's life or their journey. God does not do this with me and so I do not do that to anyone else. It's my own journey, even though I come along side someone else, still we are different. God chooses how he will want to work in someone's life. This truth really frees me up to not put myself in a box or label myself with terms that may cause me to act in a certain way. And the truth of my existence is being abused sexually by men and women. And to that I had turned to women and struggle with my own sexually. This is what I am now but I expect that what God may want of me with this smoothing out the crooked places process may truly require some faith on my part. The truth is that I always believed that who i am is because of my abuse. As much as I feel courageous for saying this, I also feel such self loathing about being who I am that these walls have stuck to me. I've become those walls. What you see on the outside is what the world sees. My inner world is much more intense as I climb up Mt Everest.

Communicator

i guess it will be for me one day at a time one day slowly....
communicator

[deetu]

yes communitcator... slow and steady.
I'm glad you decided to try again. Don't think of the study as attacking you but as a way of leading you out.
If you need help, we are here for you.
dee

[Dora]

Lots of good words there communicator.

Some feel threatened if you tell them we are going to tear down the walls. So lets begin by letting them stay but working on finding a friendship with the inner child that the walls were build to protect. In time the walls can come down. But that is when the inner child is ready, with the hand of God.

Having faith may be a problem. this is what is today:I am at the point of no return where I have finally started to accept the parts that are inside me. I have accepted it for myself and myself alone.

Then let's build the faith with reminders of what God has done in the past. Through testimonies and scripture and prayer. Watch for His hand at work in your every day.

Where will this journey take me? I believe it will take me to freedom. I have been under the heavy chain of denial and doubt for so long that now it seems as if I have come outside to enjoy the view of the sunshine. What will I find? How will I cope?

What you will find is a life better than what you had.

These steps are awesome! You are doing well to listen to the shared words and applying them to your life. Coming here to share your thoughts and feelings does help.

God bless and keep you.
Sending up prayers for you.

[mlg]

And for however many days it takes...you keep plodding along sis and you will get there.

What you have now is walls that define who you are...but with Jesus...you will begin to be able to take those walls down...and He will define who you are because He will live within you. You just hang on to that faith and belief because with that comes hope...hope of who you can be...and that is anything you believe yourself to be.

Glad to see you back to the steps. There truly is healing in these steps...but you have to see them all the way through.

Praying for you.

luv ya

[Guest]

i didn't see what you were saying yesterday in terms of seeing the study as attacking me but i see it today Deetu. I had a problem with it because its like a person saying those things. And I don't necessarily believe or trust people so and its kind of personal sort of. I'm having trouble with the words it uses like being friends and trust. it's not like it's God that I am trusting.
How does satan plant seeds in our mind? how did he get access to our minds

communicator is gone and i've come out. my name is blossom

[Dora]

Hello Blossom. Your new name shows you've found some hope.

The seeds the enemy has planted are lies or thoughts that we've believed.

Such as don't trust or you'll get hurt. Not everyone will hurt you. But you've been hurt before so your defenses are up. Your walls. Built thick and high so to not allow any more pain to effect you. Yet it is anyway because you feel alone in there and the memories of what happened keep echoing through your mind so your walls don't start to fall down, leaving you vulnerable.

[deetu]

The enemy is sneaky. He has no problem using children for his purposes. One of his main purposes is to hurt God and you are a means for him to do that. He usually comes in as a trauma when you are young and leaves lies at that time that become really rooted.

"how can you trust anyone..." or "God isn't your friend, how could He be..." These are lies the enemy uses because he doesn't want you to think of God as a friend... doesn't want you to know you can be free. So now that you know they are lies, you can ignore the attacked feeling and redirect the thoughts. The study is a way to walk through, not accusations to hold you back. It will explain as time goes on... opening new truths and helping you to get rid of old lies.

If you have trouble thinking of God as a friend, think of Him as someone you are drawn to who you would like to know better.

blossom, you are the creative one, the dreamer.
communicator was the one who was searching, reaching. Would she understand this better?
Have you come out to protect her? I don't know so I am asking.

[Guest]

hi pine
i am a christian so i understand the things you are saying. who is the one in charge here? i asked to have my name changed because i cant post under someone else. i dont know about the others but i believe in jesus. i guess thats what keeps us alive and trying. yes the walls are high and some one earlier to date tried to help us to get through the gate with the gold key but it was useless. besides not everyone was on board then. but i understand about weeds. i think i have a lot of them. although not all of us are of adam some are of that evil one you spoke about. i m kind of mostly know alot about the bible so i will do well here. i m glad to meet you. alot.
we need a lot of help. i guess i ll either get thrown out or whatever by the one in charge here. so if that happens nice to know you.

blossom

[deetu]

I wonder if under the circumstance, you could register under your name separate and not change communicator, so there would be two accounts.
You would have to send an e-mail to Oasis or phanthom either way.

[Guest]

hello deetu

i think thats what happened that made the switch. labyrinth was here i guess she got us here so now what do we do? trust is really really hard thing for me and for all. i want to know jesus. i want to see jesus but can i see him if i am still alive? i do have trouble thinking of god as a friend but he's got more power then anyone else. he can protect me right? i know the evil one so he doesnt want me to be here. i know hes going to do something to mess things up for us. every time we try to make a run something happens and we are push back. i m seeing some truth in what happened to us and its like really freeing too. i think commun led us as far as he could. commun was a guy but he doesnt do well in protecting. commun is the searcher and the more intellectual one so he's like going to fight what he sees and hears mostly. thanks for asking. not many people do.

blossom

[deetu]

I understand now.
It is hard for an intellectual to understand the things of the spirit unless they are touched with a miracle. But it not impossible.
It was once explained to me that faith comes to the heart first, then goes to the mind.
But communicator was searching too so it sounds like he is ready also.

blossom, the only thing I can think of is for you to ask Jesus to make you the strong one now so that you are the only one to do the study.
Believe that Jesus can help you because you want to believe and ignore the lies. Cry out to Jesus and ask Him into your life.

Is it possible that you or one of the others, can keep the good, searching ones away from the evil one's influences?
Stand united as you learn?

You are all part of one so you would still be alive.

[Guest]

i could try. i guess thats what it is about seeds being from the evil one instead of good seeds. the bad seeds are the voices of the evil one that say all kinds of things besides if hes on the inside that means that all those weeds will keep growing right? so also someone mentioned that about how the evil one comes in when we are hurt. so hes there and messing around without someone keeping an eye on him so he does alot of damage right? if he is putting in so many weeds what difference does it make to get them up by truth if they just come back? also with so many in here i would need some kind of truth to know who is who. evil doesnt exactly look a monster sometimes.

blossom