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Postby sweetlittleangel » Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:16 pm

Good morning there Holy Spirit and all.

step 3

Its 2.53 am here :) yesterday i came here at 10.30 am and joined the cc chat. read the steps. and 11 am i went with my aunt to the mall. at 2pm i waited for her doing hair perming in the salon until 4.45pm. while waiting, ate choc muffin which i bought at the bakery downstairs. two ladies there, kinda lookie at me maybe coz i eating in the salon..lol i was so hungry tho. then..looking around the mall a,k,a window shopping hehe. i found it was really cold inside there brrr shivering and a bit of light headed, thought due to no energy. later, went to a cafe nearby and had our dinner..ty God..battery recharged lol. fter that, we went for brisk walk at one of the recreational park here. was nice, to see other ppl there the sun set was really beautiful. my cousin came to our house, we had late tea time together and watched tv. was struggling to get some sleep, back sore and legs tired, uncomfortable to sleep..ended coming here.

i found a bible opened on the table placed in the living room yesterday morning..i knew my aunt read it..He is at work..

today study's..about God's grace...its so beautiful..

yes i did worried about the falling again..slowing down the progress..

the garden..yea..it needs some work and help from others..i cant do it alone..fa sho..and working on it..He showed me some it thru His Words too..ty You

forgive the self..its hard sometimes,..especially for the wrong choices.. at times these thought cames thru mind..feeling unworthy coz i thought i was failing a lot, ..sometimes..there was time i feeling so lost..wandering around..loosed focus..sometimes i imagined He looking down and shooked His head when i tripped again..i felt bad..dissapointing Him again...and even worse..i found myself asking..will He ever forgive me..duh..

maybe being hard on myself..yeah..thats right...sometimes i didnt see how others see and He sees me..marshie told me the same too..

yesterday was a rollercoaster day..then i read the book of psalm 56 and so on..this words caught my heart..shadow of His wings..then i found myself saying..fight angel fight..

that was really good..hard at the beginning..i pictured today soldier in the middle of war...

today 's study is really soothing..

renewing the understanding of His grace...

to fight is to believe in it and accepting it..

putting the third stone in my garden..

the important one..

to soften the soil, so that it wud be easy to pull the weeds.
walk the Faith..

walk the Love..
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Postby mlg » Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:24 pm

sla His grace is truly all we need. So often we think we need more. Looking around at things wondering when we will receive the things that will heal us, or will make us satisfied...when in reality He has already given us everything we need in His grace. A precious gift for His children.

Forgiving ourselves is very difficult. That's because we tend to beat ourself up over and over as if it will change what we did. But we know it won't...so accepting God's grace and letting it go is the step we have to take.

So yesterday was a rollercoaster huh? Did you hang on for the ride, and enjoy it, or did you close your eyes and scream in terror the whole time? If you hung on for the ride, then you were sitting in the seat with jesus....if not remember next time to invite Him along for the ride.

Still praying for you sis. Was great seeing you in chat last night.

luv ya bunches
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Postby Dora » Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:31 pm

God is at work in you as well as in your aunt. :)

The good thing about falling is Gods grace will catch you.

Love you sweet *hug*
Bunches!
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Postby sweetlittleangel » Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:53 pm

love too mlg and piney n ty. *hug*

the rollercoaster?..my eyes? opened wide looking for Him a.s.a.p i was

overwhelmed at first, screamed, and then i felt His presence in my room

yesterday..real close..all around.

sleep in peace..and had a dream.

the dream..was about sun..we cud see it only in a very small spot..like we saw a star. there with me were..some of unbelievers (muslims) and one of my fren..it was 7am..still dark..weird..10 am..still dark..even weird. Suddenly the sun move around the sky..around and around us, above our head..reminded my fren n me of the verses when it said..the sun will be darkened on the last days..in my dream, found me telling the unbelievers bot the rapture..woah..about some will be taking up to up there..and some will remain for the 3 1/2..they were curious bot that remainers..and worried what wud happend to them..during that 3 1/2 ..the last part of the dream..my fren said...sometimes we can share the gospel with the unbelievers indirectly.
sometimes He lead them to us.

shared it to a fren today, my fren said..it cud be about China taking up energy and then other part of the world will be in the dark. or maybe..u wud have to it for real. woah O.O
walk the Faith..

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Postby mlg » Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:58 pm

Hey sla, make sure to share your dream on the visions and dream forum. Maybe someone there can give you some insight into what it might mean.

luv ya
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Postby Dora » Fri Nov 27, 2009 8:53 pm

Cool dream!!! *cool*

luv ya sweetie *hug5* bunches
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Postby sweetlittleangel » Sat Nov 28, 2009 1:20 am

day 4

indeed today is a hard work.

this song keep spinning in my mind today, voice of truth by casting crowns.

again study's today about forgiving ourselves..few days ago, i was like banging my head on the walls. bringing the seed of guilt. ty God for yesterday stepping stone. it did soften the soil. by His grace..im releasing myself from the net..digging the soil..getting into the mud..pulled them, period. of course this thought came to my mind..u will fall again..u ll never win and.. the voice of truth says do not be afraid..*fight angel fight* applying this Truth, trust and believe. Let go the seed and let God remove it.

extending the same grace.

letting go of what my aunts and grandma did to us when we was young.

letting go of the disspointment i had with my dad.

letting go of the dissapointment with myself.

letting go of the bitterness i had for my cousin who mistreated my sister.

letting go of the bitterness and resentment i had for my aunt and my cousin..i want to be free from untrusting others..it had establish me walk in fear and hard to trust others..bcoz it was hurt so bad.. but does that mean is ok for them to abuse me again?

fight angel fight!

woah..what a good feeling..releasing and releasing.

ty Lord..for Your grace and enable me to do so.

im leaning on Him and eyoooo He is smiling eh lol

phew..a lot of work to do ahead.

this song describe me well..



Whatever Reason...Disciple


In a whirlwind caught away
Broken lips have carried you to a place
Where you don't know just how you ever got this far away from here
Thinking somehow you could cross the point of no return
But my love will never end

Whatever reason you've been running
I just don't care anymore
Already forgotten whatever happened with what went wrong
I just want you to come home

Incarcerated, borrowed shame
Freedom was the promise they took away
And now you're left with what you find so hard is forgiving yourself

Whatever reason you've been running
I just don't care anymore
Already forgotten whatever happened with what went wrong
I just want you to come home

I see something far away
Could this be the day to take you in these arms and wash all of the wasted days and years away?
Just to see the eyes of my beloved child
Now I'm running I'm the one that's running

Whatever reason you've been running
I just don't care anymore
Already forgotten whatever happened with what went wrong
I just want you to come home


One more time...Disciple

Another night I sit alone
Another night I my heart is so heavy
I can't believe that it's beating on it's own
I know You tell me to be glad when trials come to me but instead
I always question if You love me at all

But I know You know me Jesus
I know You listen to my cry
I need You to come inside

And I will praise and give You thanks
For You have lifted me to carry me one more time
I will praise and give You thanks
For You have lifted me to make me see my life is in Your hands

Seems like the ones I love the most when I am needing their affection
They're never there and I'm left all alone
I know You tell me to be glad when trials come to me but instead
I always question if You love me at all

But I know You know me Jesus
I know You hear this prodigal's cry
Father run to me tonight

and when i listened to this one today..it make me cryyy. It is His heart out for me..

After The World...Disciple

You break the glass, try to hide your face
Recorded lines that just will not erase
And buried in your loss of innocence
You wonder if you'll find it again

Was I there for the worst of all your pain?
And was I there when your blue skies ran away?
Was I there when the rains were flooding you off your feet?
Those were My tears falling down for you, falling down for you

I'm the One that you've been looking for
I'm the One that you've been waiting for
I've had My eyes on you ever since you were born
I will love you after the rain falls down

I'll have My eyes on you after the world is no more

Did I arrange the light of your first day?
Did I create the rhythm your heart makes?
Could you believe when your candle starts to fade?
I want to be the One that you believe
Could take it all away, take your heart away

Isn't My life a clear sign since I have crossed over this chasm
To fill the space between Me and you?
And I will do it all over again
Just look for Me, just wait for Me

The One you've been looking for
The One you've been waiting for
You won't have to look anymore

im sorry Lord, ty You love me.
walk the Faith..

walk the Love..
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Postby Dora » Sat Nov 28, 2009 7:12 am

I love reading your journal. Always brings me a smile. :)

I am certain God is smiling as well.

Listen to the voice of truth sweet precious angel.

luv you *hug5*
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Postby momof3 » Sat Nov 28, 2009 7:39 am

hey lilangel... *hug* wow...you bless me. You hear more from the Holy Spirit than you think, lil sis. All those seeds of doubt, fear, lonliness....its so awesome when we let em go and replace them with the truth. His grace is sufficient. You are so precious, lil sis. God bless you and keep going....and Disciple!!!!! rawks!!! *band*

love you to pieces, girl.
in Jesus,
love momo *Halo*
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.
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Postby sweetlittleangel » Sat Nov 28, 2009 9:10 am

awwwwww

momo and piney

thank you *hug*

i love u both too *hug*

later this evening, i listened to another song.


No End At All..Disciple

Like a moon that tries to hide away

But the dawn will catch it with the day

Like an angry son that's moving on

But he will never forget his home


Feel this grace shining in

There's nowhere that You've not

Walked with me on,

Carried me on


There is nowhere I can go,

even in the depths of the sea

You're not too far away

When I wake, when I sleep

You are capturing me

with a love that knows no end at all


Like a desert that is dead and dry,

but the river fills it up in time

Like a daughter that's been thrown away

Then is adopted by a kinder face


listening to it over and over again...it put a :) :) :) on my face.

As i listened, i feel like Jesus Himself spoke thru the song..angel..come and He :)

*hug* He

had a back sore thru out the nite and today..yea..to know that He captured me while i was struggled to sleep..even carry me..is :)

trying to get the mp3 of their songs, so that i can put it in my cellphone.

actually today is the first time i listened to them, and

it captured my heart.

Disciple really rawks! *harp* lol
walk the Faith..

walk the Love..
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Postby Dora » Sat Nov 28, 2009 2:23 pm

Very cool song.
I had never heard it before. :)
Thank you for sharing.
*run*

Oh my goodness!
I love it!

A love that knows no end at all.
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Postby mlg » Sat Nov 28, 2009 7:36 pm

Sis, you did well there...the reason being you listed what forgiveness you had not showed...now that you recognize who to forgive, then you can lay them one by one at the cross. And when the hurt tries to come back if it does, then you can fight by saying...I layed this down already and I trust you Jesus to take this from me. See He wants you to trust Him in all these hurts, but He can't take them from you unless you truly give them to Him and not take them back. That's a lot easier said than done most of the time, because we have a hard time totally trusting...but just know that Jesus will never hurt you...and He wants to take all your past away....no it does not give them an excuse to abuse you again either. That is a lie of the enemy...all forgiveness does is allow you to be released of the hold they have held over you when you relive the hurt.

Praying for you sis.

luv ya
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