Christianity Oasis Forum

[vahn]

In May of 1999 our Lord found me in an alley at 2:00 or 3:00 AM (the truth is , at that time and state of mind , I didn't even know if I was still on this planet , let alone the time or if there was a such thing , nor was I able to care , even if I wanted to !) . I was in such despair , that when thought of suicide would cross my mind , which by then were on a daily basis , (Upon Awakening) , for the previous three , most agonizing years of my life , each and every wake up found me muttering "Oh no .... not again !! " and I would start my day off with plotting how to end it all , and each and every day I would find myself "waking up " again ... to the point where the last shred of self-will simply disappeared , I mean I was at that time thinking "You're so helpless that you can't even kill yourself " God's ultimate "punishment" !! (If there was One) ,was to keep me there for eternity . Hah ! Some people are afraid to go to hell ! Hah again !! , at that point hell was an invitation to Disneyland !! And I welcomed the idea .
That day , night , whatever it was , our Lord came to me in the form of another "drunk" . The first words ever uttered that to this day ring so loud in my ears that practically wakes me from my sleep (no need for an alarm clock) each and everyday since were , "Get your a** up ! " and my response to him was "So , you suicidal as well huh ? To talk to me like that , who in the world ..... " and the next words out of his mouth was " Just shut up vahn , and listen to me !" How did he know my name ???

This "man" embarked me on a "journey" of what I call the "missing dimension" that i still am in as I type , with , though I didn't think of it as a joke then but ... , he said " I saw you laying in the gutter with this pig , and said man , you don't have to live like that !! ... The pig got up and said 'you know ? you're right' and walked away ! "
Ten days later was discharged from a detoxification unit and found myself in a christian based rehabilitation center where I was re-introduced to our Ever-Loving Father .
Though still skeptical but nevertheless , with a what-do-I-have-to lose attitude I "rode" that wave , so to speak . Hah , what did I know ? Well , when the time came for being discharged from that rehab , I had no direction whatsoever of where to go or what to do , once again the end of the road ! only this time I was scared out of my wits , and the only place I could run to was my "New Found Friend " . On my knees , I said " I know You're there and I know You care , but what I don't know is , what is it You want from me , You didn't bring me all the here to drop me now so either poop , or get off the pot and let me be !! "
A year later and within that year , my artistic abilities were restored , opened my own gallery , and when my accountant showed me the figures there were too many zeroes next to the 1 for me to figure out what they were . A year after that I hired the same "man" (Gary) to get custody of my daughter , two rears after that me and my daughter were in our own "home" sitting on a seven acre land by a lake with her own enclosed (this is Maine) Japanese garden , pond and all !! .

Getting caught up with al that hoopla , at about a year or so ago , I found myself on my knees again saying , " I know You're there and I know You care , but what I don't know is , what is it You want from me , You didn't bring me all the here to drop me now so either poop , or get off the pot and let me be !! " Only this time I was saying it within the "Why me ! " context . Two days later I was knocking on Christianity Oasis's door ! and my response was "This is it Lord ? You send me a web-site ? " ...... I didn't notice His Grin !!

Since then , met the most sincere brothers and sisters in Christ ever ! , and with their help and encouragements , I had enrolled my daughter at UNC , planned to relocate , open another gallery , leaving her to be the lady of her own in a house of her own , lost my daughter , house , ALL of my "belongings" , my account completely wiped out , lost Gary , and now I am right back at the same recovery center where I first was re-introduced to my Saviour , only this time , I have as of today , 8 lost souls on my caseload (counseling) , had made peace and led a Muslim to our Lord , and on Nov 11th , Veteran's Day , in a video chat arrangement I made peace with the man who took my daughter's life , dedicated a song to my twin , and this morning , Upon Awakening , I said "Thank you my Lord , where do you want me today ? " and I finally saw His Grin .





Oh , c'moonnn !!! ...... Not another web-site !?!?!!!!

Love you ALL

In brotherhood of Christ our Lord
vahn

[realtmg]

Vahn,
Such a great story and this proves the Power of how God can work. Your story has blessed my heart.
You have grown close to my heart since God brought you here. You are such a blessing for REAL.

Luv Ya Bro.


Real