Christianity Oasis Forum

by **Leaps_Madre** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:59 am

ok im terrified to get on here and admit my faults but i know its what i have to do. i deal with anger...anger so bad that i have raised my hand to my children and screamed and yelled at them. i didnt realize how bad i was till i lost my husband and 2 girls that i consider my own. i have asked my children for forgiveness. they say they forgive me but i honestly dont see how they could. it was never there fault. i dont feel like i deserve forgiveness...i cant forgive myself. im to a point where i dont feel like i should be lovedat all. i need to fight this anger and depression and i cant do it alone.

by **vahn** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:56 am

Hello Leaps_Madre

Welcome to the Oasis

First let me assure you of being in the right place . There are two things that go on in my mind when I go to see the "Doctor" , one , it is that I have something that is causing me to do things I don't want to do and hence hindering my joy in what I would like to do .
Two , I go to the "Doctor" because I know He can heal me of things that are preventing me from enjoying my time .
And you know what else sis ? When I go to His office , every one in the "waiting" room is there for the same reason , (waiting on the same "Doctor") , the symptoms may be different , but its the same malady.

When you say

i dont feel like i deserve forgiveness...

Isn't that why you're at the "office to begin with ? To get a second opinion ? From the "Doctor" ?

i need to fight this anger and depression and i cant do it alone.

Yes you are right , you cant do it alone , and you know what else ? There's absolutely no need to "fight" this thing , what we learn here is how to get rid of it , and this exactly what these steps are about .

i dont feel like i should be lovedat all.

You may not "feel" like you should not be loved but the truth is , we love you , because Jesus Loved you first . So , let's get on with getting rid of those negative thoughts by continuing with the steps , there is healing in them .

Once again welcome aboard

In brotherhood of Christ
vahn

by **Leaps_Madre** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:28 am

thank you very much! you showed me things in a different light. i do want to get rid of this anger. thank you for loving me. i know my anger comes from the past and im trying to leave it there.. and that saying itseasier than done applies here....

by **vahn** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:52 am

'Though much appreciated , but no need for thanx , this is what we do here , we help each other out , just like I was helped .

Yes I agree with you , as far as "easier said than done" but here's the thing , it will never get "done" until we "do" it right ? and it keeps on pestering us , blocking from us the Son-Light of the Spirit , which starts with Forgiveness .
What does your avatar say ? I can't read !

Lets continue the journey to Bigger Better things than our anger .

There will be others coming along to help us all out , some who have gone through the steps and some who haven't , but the result will depend on you of how much you want to get rid of the things that are hindering your walk with the Lord , our Ultimate Forgiving Machine .

Luv ya

by **mlg** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:03 am

Hi Leaps Madre. Welcome to the counseling steps. How delighted God is that you have decided to take the journey to healing.

So you suffer from anger huh? Well you know sis, God has forgiven you of your outburst. The one thing about anger is that it's an emotion and it can be controlled. Controlling your anger comes by learning to turn to God in times of trouble, and not let the enemy take over your actions. It's a process sis, and it's not going to happen overnight...but the more you grow with God the more you WILL see Him begin to make changes within you...

We will be here for you sis, every single step of the way. We all struggle, we all have fallen, and we all want to see YOU healed.

luv ya sis

by **Leaps_Madre** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:34 am

the hardest part is admitting it and talking about it...i've wanted to hide from the fact that there is a problem.but i do want to change and someone told me about the counseling program last night and it has taken everything i have to talk about it but i do feel better. everytime i think about god has forgiven me for the things i done i start to cry and thoughts come to my head about why would i deserve it.... i picked the avatar i have to help remind me why he would. i have pulled away from christ but i want him to be the center of my life.i need him to be the center of my life. i love my kids so much and to think that god could love me more than that blows me away. quite honestly i wish i had someone to hold me accountable.... i no longer want to be the person i have been...

by **Dora** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:35 am

It's good to see you hear getting this out. Be honest and soak in the words of the study. Allow others to help you shed the old self. We are here for you because we love God and because we love you.

Keeping you in my heart and in my prayers.

by **Leaps_Madre** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:37 am

im trying to be very honest and very open...

by **Dora** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:47 am

I believe you are.

by **vahn** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:52 am

It's ok sis , what you are not realizing yet is that fact that the worst is over . You are here , and that's how much God loves you , just like you , He wants you to change as well , and like you said earlier , He also knows you cant do it alone , that's why He sent you that "someone" to tell you about the counseling prog .

"Who cares to admit complete defeat ? Practically no one " but you already did and as a result , in your words

it has taken everything i have to talk about it but i do feel better.

See ? The worse is over , you think you feel better now ? Well , you haven't seen nothing yet , continue on sis . I cant wait to see the results .

Luv ya

by **mlg** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:16 am

Sis God's forgiveness is so hard for you to understand right now, because you are upset with yourself and have not forgiven yourself for your own actions. As you grow closer to God, you will see how He wants you to forgive yourself, and lay all of the past behind you. God doesn't want you to look at where you have been, but where you are now going with Him leading the way. Keep reaching out to Him.

One step at a time...baby steps are often the way we start...gotta walk before ya run.

luv ya sis

by **Guest** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:14 pm

Welcome

I am so happy that you were lead to this program. You will find it very helpfull. I know that it is helping me out alot. When I first started I too was a little hesitant to wright my thoughts out were everyone could see them but it helps to make us feel better for a couple reasons

1 We can't keep things all bottled up inside or we will explode
2 It gives a chance for others to help encourage you.

There is alot of inspiring people here. These steps are AWSOME!

You are forgiven and you are not alone in this fight.
keep pressing in.

God Bless

Brother blue bird

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