Christianity Oasis Forum

[rockyrun34]

Hi.

I joined today, and have already experienced some wonderful fellowship. It's my first day of counseling, and I was wondering if I could ask for prayers for myself, as I struggle to get out of a toxic friendship.

I admit to having fallen into a situation with someone who has been using Christian theology in the wrong way to convince me of things. I now have to seek counsel and advice because of this. I pray for Mercy and Forgiveness as I fear the worst and realize that I did not trust my gut with this person. I am repenting because I realize that I must always trust God and not man. My gut has always been accurate because it has been given to me by God. Just this time, I did not follow it. I pray that God has Mercy on me during this time, but thank him for showing it to me. I just pray that I get out safely and that she does not retaliate or bring me down with her.

I think I have been fooled by false teachings, and this worries me about my judgement and confirms I need to stay close to God in this crazy world. I am back with the Lord. If anyone has fallen pray to this, let me know. I think I have a tendency to be too open hearted to people.

thank you

Rockrun34

[Dora]

What you just said describes me before I came to Oasis. I knew what someone was teaching me was wrong, but the church didn't speak of it, so I was on my own to find out if it was and why.

Since I came here I learned to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, my gut as you call it. And I see how I was being told it was wrong, yet I didn't listen. I was hurt terribly. Yet God has used this to sharpen me. And he used it to bring me here. I'm so glad he did.

I'm glad he led you here. And glad to see you doing the counseling. It is awesome!

God loves ya and so do I!

[mlg]

Rockyrun, I want to begin by saying, welcome to the Oasis. I will definitely be keeping you in my prayers.

What you are going through rocky is not uncommon at all. See the enemy has so many ways of blindsiding us, and often when we least expect it. There's a song called Slow Fade...I'm not sure if you've ever heard it, but it talks about how we slowly fall to things and don't even realize it...slowly fading and before we know it...we are in deep. But...that being said, we serve a loving and forgiving God. Turn back to Him, repent and know that Jesus has already brought forgiveness to you. God loves you, and He is right there waiting for you. He has His arms wide open, saying come to me and I will pick you up from this fall.

The counseling steps sis are really great. I think you will find much healing in them. Journal your thoughts here daily and you will find much support and encouragement.

Hope to meet you in the chatroom sometime soon.

Take care and God Bless

[rockyrun34]

Dear Pine,

Thank You for sharing that. It helps. I feel that God is saying, "No more". But, in a way I am learning the hard way. He has brought me to a place where I cannot be in these relationships anymore and the uncertainty is unbearable. I just hope I am not too late. Being in a friendship with this person has put me in a bunch of ethical positions. I think I was vulnerable, and when that happens, I have to go to God, and not those who do not have my best interests at heart. I am learning that those who act like they have my interest at heart, may be disguising things. I need to be sharper, like you said. Thank you for your prayers and love. Still a little confused, hurt, and feeling vulnerable. argh.

[mlg]

Sis of course your hurt, confused and feel vulnerable. The thing is that you have to also work on forgiving those who have wronged you in all of this. That's not saying that it was right for them to do this, but it will release you from the hurt and pain, and bring freedom to your heart again. God has got a plan for this sis...He will bring glory to His name from what has happened. He will not leave you nor forsake you. Lean on Him.

Take care sis and God Bless

[rockyrun34]

Thank You mlg1279, Pine, and ljd,


Thank you for your words yesterday. They helped me so much. Today is a new day and I hear God saying to go where I am welcome and where the Holy Spirit leads me. Do you wanna know something funny? God definitely has a sense of humor. Here's why.....

I have applied for so many jobs, in this big city, with little luck. So many shut doors. Two weeks ago, I got a call asking me to volunteer at the MS society. So I am volunteering twice a week. My finances are a mess, but God is leading me to do volunteer work. So funny.

Have a wonderful day.......

You are all a blessing....

[Dora]

God does have a sense of humor. It's wonderful you can use this time to work for him. May he bless you greatly in the areas he chooses.

Your closest friend should be Jesus and then after him a network of Christians that sharpen each other and help each other up when each has fallen. Then other friends that are more of you leading them into a fuller understanding of Christ. These can and should be people who don't know the Lord. It sounds like you need to move this friend who is leading you astray to a friendship where you are leading and guiding him/her through the direction of the Holy Spirit and the love and grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. Possibly they just need some deeper understanding of the word.

God bless you and keep you.
May you feel his love shine upon you today.

[Tam]

Rocky it is good to see that you have found your way to the forums.
I know that it hurts having to let go of a friendship...but as Pine has said...Jesus is a best friend you will never loose or have to let go of. I hope that HE can become your new Best friend as He has mine. Can not imagine Him not being my best friend anymore.
Glad to hear that you are doing the counseling steps and reaching out. We are here for you sis...but know that more than us...Jesus is right beside you all the way.
It was really good talking to you the other day and I look forward to it again soon.
Love you in Christ
Tam

[xxJILLxx]

Hello rocky



again welcome to oasis. I will keep you in prayer .

I too was almost tricked into false doctrine when i was very vulnerable in my walk. Thank U Jesus that i found friends here to help me through and show me the truth as i hope for the same for you.

Gbu and keep you on His journey for you it will be a blessing to see where He is going to lead u to here,

Keep with the steps!

Gbu
♥Jill

[comfy]

If you would, Rocky, please give one example, here, of what you feel was misleading by this person. And we can share scripture about this. You may have already done this in chat, but my computer doesn't get there, plus what is shared there may not stay available for others to benefit from it. So, if you would . . . how about if we go over some specifics, here, of what you are talking about?

I am Bill, by the way . . . and we welcome you, sister. God bless you. And we all have our ways of getting into things; so we might benefit from your experience and the scriptures that can help us, too.

I once had my "list" of the things I wanted in my wife. I knew the Bible; so I could make sure my list had scriptural things. However, I was looking on the surface, and she was quite able to act the things I was looking for. And then fish me in, playing on my "compassion", threatening how she could go back on the street if I did not go along with her "needs". But sinning broke her down so she went back, anyway. But God got me out, He had mercy on me, though I knew better.

And, still, years later . . . I still need more correction > I'm just getting started, it keeps seeming, to learn how to love. He keeps bringing better than what I would have for standards and expectations of how loving is. Because God is so better and more than what we can expect and look for.

But He uses us to help each other > we are "members of one another", we have in Romans 12:5. Members of a body can not make it without each other. How much more in the Body of Christ > God has it that we are included in how He grows us in His love > He has us needing and so intimately depending on others who are growing in this love > so, we can not make it without the other really Christian ones. Nothing less will work > no lone rangers. Finding one "soul mate", then, is not enough. We need *all* our family in Jesus. So, if one person was becoming your whole picture of friendship and love, etc. . . . that's all you needed to know

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you,
but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

[momof3]

Hey Rocky, sis. again i wanna welcome you to Oasis. Im so glad the Lord led you here..and particularly to this counceling and the chat. He wants you to know that you arent alone.

I have to tell ya this.....not so many years ago, i too became friends with someone who appeared to be a really strong, loving Christian. I saw some signs, felt them in my spirit, but dismissed them, listening to thier words. I found later that my spirit was so vexed and my mind was critical of other believers, after the Lord showed me that this person i was studying the word with was a lil off in understanding the spirit of the Word...the spirit of the Law. As mlg has said, its a slow fade and we seldom see it coming.

Sis, you have repented...and asked the Lord to help you now, and He is a faithful God....forgive this person, cuz she is just like we are...a soul in need of a saviour and truth and love, everyday. Seek His truth..and He will show you. Seek His will and He will guide you. What we have done and the mistakes we have made, He will use to reach others if we let Him.

God bless you sis, and know you arent alone in this.

praying with you and am here for you..as so many are.

in Jesus,
love momo

[rockyrun34]

Hi All,
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. They have really helped me. I am still an anxious mess.

I have distanced myself from this woman, because I feel it is God's will right now. I have to focus on getting back with Him. I am going through some possible ethical dilemmas and questions about employment, that I need a professional consultation and therapy about this. It's just devastating finding out that I made so many mistakes in my past, that could cause me my future. I am now trying to get right with the Lord and with my personal ethics. I have been so ignorant and careless with my life, over the last two years. I have fallen away from Him and it just hurts. I think it has effected my career the most.

I have been very disappointed in myself in many ways, and want to know that I am doing the right things in my profession. But, I get confused because of what to be concerned about and what not, what to let be in the past, what to be worried about now. I feel that I have made my life one big Drama-Trauma and have alot of cleaning up to do.

So, Bill, about my friend - I feel that she may be going through some of the same, but I recognized that she may be misled by her financial problems. I'm not sure how safe she is for me, so I have limited my contact with her. So here goes......

So I was going through some severe problems on my job. Sexual harassment. It was horrible and degrading to my femininity. I had to get a lawyer involved, and then my boss basically got me discharged. Well, I also found out, that he should not have had me practicing. ARgh.
So I left my job, as I was completely traumatized. I know it was the right thing to do. In the process, I did not listen to my gut, and my lawyer and two friends (who are not around now) got me so fired up about the situation, that I fired off these self righteous letters, blah blah. By the way, those kinda things will be there for life. About a month later, I saw that I was making a big mistake by fighting, and knew God was just trying to lead me out of the situation and the city where I lived.

So I put my house on the market, and God gave me a buyer in 21 days. HOw's that for answering my prayers!

In the process, of this big mess, I had been very vulnerable, and this friend who claimed to be a follower of Christ and a Jew, (she calls herself a Jewish Christian with a Mormon background), would daily get me fired up about the sexual harrassment and had very similar experiences. Honestly, we could relate. Then, she started asking me how much I made on my house, to get a home equity loan or co-sign a loan for her and then finally She asked me how much I was going to make on a new position that I just interviewed for. Her boyfriend started calling me. I changed my phone number!

Well, I did not do any of those financial things. I feel she used my vulnerabilities and Christian background, to manipulate me to try and get her money. She owes alot of people money, and I found this out later. But, I also know she has had a rough background, so I do forgive her. But it's really about me being right with the Lord, and cleaning up this professional mess. I took things in my own hands, and now it is a complete mess.

Thank you for your help in the Lord!








not sure about what she is going through now, but I told her the thing that we did do should not be done again