Christianity Oasis Forum

[smalltowngirl743]

Well, I'm not sure what I am supposed to write down for this step. The lesson was about weeding and caring for the garden in my mind. I think that as I reveal my problems, that is like pulling weeds.

Today's lesson said to ponder on the "Truth" that the world and the enemy has planted lies in my mind. And to begin to surround myself with positive reminders of my "purpose".

Now, my question is: what is my purpose? How do I remind myself of my purpose when I'm not sure what it is?

The only thing I can think of as being my purpose, is to create a closer relationship with God.

I could sit here and list all of the lies that have been fed to me over the years, but I won't. The list would be too long, and I fear it would cause resentment to build up in me...which is probably not something that would be helpful as far as this program goes.

So, here I am on Step 2, and I'm not sure what to do!

Hope everyone has a wonderful day though...many blessings to all.

[momof3]

Hiya towngirl. Wanted to welcome you once again to Oasis. We are so glad you are here! sis..i wanna tell ya...your purpose is to love the Lord. Seek Him and His truth..how He sees you. As you do this, He will begin to show you those gifts He has given you to reach out to someone else. The places you have been, the experiences you have had....He will use those to reach someone who doesnt know there is hope in Him...and Mercy and Grace...and freedom, and forgiveness. You are in the right place..and as you go through each step, just post whats in your heart to say. The truth will set you free.

Im so glad we have gotten to know a lil about one another and look forward to getting to know you even more! God bless you, my sister in Him. You arent alone..and you arent here by mistake.

Welcome again..and we are all standing with you in prayer.

In Jesus,
momo

[mlg]

Yes sis, momo is right your purpose is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your might and all your soul as well as to bring glory to Him.

So, now that you have a purpose...building your relationship with God and growing closer will make your purpose possible.

As for those lies that you could list, if there are some lies that you have not forgiven yourself for believing, you do need to tackle them lest they keep you held down to the past. If you have completely released them, then it's best to not stir them up again.

Keep doing the steps sis.

luv ya

[smalltowngirl743]

Thanks momo and mlg...both of your posts were helpful.

Well! At least now I know what my purpose is. After you stated it, momo, I felt kind of stupid for not knowing it myself. I felt like, duh...stupid, it says right in the bible to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. Oh well, I'm glad there are people here who care enough to remind me of these things!

Mlg...I think I should bring up some of the lies, because they are a very big part of how I think of myself...and how I've lived my life based on these lies. So bear with me, my sisters and brothers, and I will tell you the biggest ones.

All my life, I have felt inferior to everyone else. Unlovable and a bad person. I was teased and bullied a lot in grade school because I was chubby. My parents were strict, but they cared for me and my brother well. We had everything we needed and were not poor by any means. But, my parents didn't express their love and affection visibly. I cannot recall our family telling one another that we loved each other, nor were there a lot of hugs and kisses. We weren't abused in any way...our punishments usually only involved being grounded...or a spanking here and there. But I know that I am not imagining the lack of affection in our home, because I have discussed it with my brother in recent years, and he agrees.

Anyways, when I started really misbehaving, and started smoking, drinking, and partying, I also began sneaking out and skipping school. My grades fell. Needless to say, my dad wasn't very happy. He began calling me names sometimes, and was always inferring that I was a loser. I knew by the age of 14, that I was the black sheep in our family.

As I grew into adulthood, my ways didn't change much. I was married and divorced twice, and I have had about 30 jobs...I can never stay at one job. I guess folks would consider me to be lazy and very selfish. I wanted gratification and possessions, but didn't want to have to work to get them. And somehow, I've sneaked by my whole life without having to work much.

But the main theme throughout my life, and the main lie that has been at the center of it, is that I am no good. I'm stupid, a loser, will never amount to anything, I am bad, and most definitely unlovable. I've never had a relationship that lasted, and there was always cheating, drama, or something going on that would end it. In the end, I always felt used...and unlovable.

So this is the way I still feel. My whole life has been wasted, with nothing to show for it. The only good things in my life are my children and grandchildren. I have mellowed out now to the place where I am a recluse inside of my home. I don't have any friends, and my only visitors are my kids and their kids. My parents have eased up on stating their opinions of me, and are actually helping me now. But there is still that sense of me being their biggest failure. And when I make mistakes now, they let them go easier, but I still don't think that my parents accept me for who I am. They can only see the fallen side of me...not the good side.

So, I often wonder, is there a good side to me? Or was I just born a bad seed? I don't feel like a mean or bad person...in fact I feel like there's a lot of love inside of me to give. But people will never let me forget my past. No matter how hard I try, I will always be viewed as a lost cause to some people.

Thanks for listening, and God bless.

[xxJILLxx]

hello smalltowngirl

its good to see how the Holy Spirit is bringing all the lies to your attention and that you are addressing them.

and know sis that satan is very good at what he does. he will fill your mind (if he is allowed to) with all types of negative thinking about yourself. He began early building those strongholds in your mind, many of them negative things about you and about how other people feel about you. He always arranges for a few situations in which you experience rejection, because then he knows he can bring the pain of it back to your rememberance during a time when you are trying to make some progress in your relationship with Him.

fear of failure and rejection keep many people at bay

its good you are being aware of what goes on in your mind about how you feel about yourself. just remember God is always willing to give you mercy for your failures but you have to be willing to recieve it. i dont think he rewards the perfect who have no flaws and never make mistakes, but hose who put their faith and trust in Him.

keep doing the steps and weeding your garden you are doing wonderfully!

Gbu
♥Jill

[smalltowngirl743]

Thank you Jill you are the best!

Have a blessed day everyone!

[mlg]

stg, something I have come to hear and understand along the way of growing with God is that what others say about you do not define you. The only one that defines you is Jesus and who He is in you. So now that you have addressed all the lies that others have said about you...start looking to see who you are by Him. What has Jesus done for you, and what can He do for you to make you what He wants you to be. This is where you will find the answers...in Him.

luv ya