Christianity Oasis Forum

by **Dora** » Thu Jul 09, 2009 6:39 am

Josi

So glad to see your progress. You are doing wonderful.

Brings a smile to my face.

You are on the right path to loving that little girl. She so deserves it. She did nothing wrong.

Look at how God came running to minister to you, to love you, to hold you when you fell down. What a good dad you've got.

The best! He loves his little girl. If he loves her then who shouldn't love her? You are daddys little girl.

I don't know what's happened to you to make you hate yourself so much. Maybe others have judged you harshly. Maybe you've been rejected. Maybe you've never been able to live up to the standards your earthly dad has put on you. Maybe you've been beaten and abused. No matter what has been done to you, no matter what you've done, you are forgiven and dearly loved and accepted by God your Father and creator.

love ya sister!
God bless and keep you.
Prayers for you along this path towards healing.

by **mlg** » Thu Jul 09, 2009 7:52 am

Sis, I'm glad to see you doing the things that are hard for you, all for the love of the Lord. God has so much more He wants to share with you Spiritual, but He needed for you to heal and move past the past first. Now that you are beginning to grow, He will open more and more doors for you to see new things. Just because you fell down last night, doesn't mean to stay down. Jesus is there holding out His hand and wants to lift you back up. Allow Him to do so. Your doing great sis, and I see you are growing in your trust of God. Yes you have more growing to do, but I see the growth coming.

luv ya sis

by **josinella** » Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:58 am

Maybe I should have told you all more about my past which might have helped give a better picture of me. But I elected not to because when I recommitted myself to Christ, I had asked God to forgive the abuse/abusers and let that go. What God has done is let me see how big a role Satan played in my family, it wasn't just one individual as I had thought.

God has brought about a healing by revealing how Satan used the events of the past to control me now (emotionally and spiritually). God is a very loving father. I never knew mine and I have no siblings. My childhood environment was very enrichingly negative, esp. not to accept, trust or reach out to others. But God has turned that around with a renewed relationship in Him. Yes, He is an awesome Dad!

As dad's go, He has a task for me. I would like to witness about it but not on the open forum. Let me know if I can private message this with one of you. Thanks so much for all you have done sticking it out with me.

by **mlg** » Thu Jul 09, 2009 12:03 pm

josinella, I'd be glad to hear what you have to witness about if you would like to send it to me in private messaging.

As for the abuse you went through, the fact that you have forgiven and placed it in the past says a lot for your Spiritual walk. Praise God that you were able to do this. It is exciting to see what God has done in you, taking you out of your past, and lifting you up to be a testimony to Him. Doing these steps says that you too want to become more of what God wants you to be. He is smiling on you sis, and He does love you so very much.

luv ya sis

by **Dora** » Thu Jul 09, 2009 12:20 pm

Hello Josi *hug*

Would love to hear as well.

Amen to what mlg said.

It is common for those who've gone through abuse to hate themselves. Through this you have been so strong to not allow your past to distroy your own family. Praise God! It is a heart break when one can not stand strong and allows the abuse to continue to flow through generations.

Forgiving your abuser is a huge step in the healing process. And you've done that! Woo Hoo! That's worth shouting about. *ohyeah*

There is so much we carry inside once we've been abused. Guilt and shame, even though we truely were innocent in it all. Feeling unworthy, disconnected from the rest of the world, feeling different than everone else, and so many more.
Check out this link for behaviors common to the abused. http://www.christianityoasis.com/Member ... hp?t=15369

We see these behaviors in us. Then what? How do we heal them? You're on the right path my friend. You are getting closer every day. The Holy Spirit is doing a good work in you and will be faithful to complete it.

The road to healing is giving fredom to that little girl inside from the fears and the guillt of the past and loving her. Forgive her. God does.

And so do I!
Sisters

I see Gods footsteps in your life.

by **Mackenaw** » Thu Jul 09, 2009 1:11 pm

josinella wrote: I had asked God to forgive the abuse/abusers and let that go.

What God has done is let me see how big a role Satan played in my family, it wasn't just one individual as I had thought.

God has brought about a healing by revealing how Satan used the events of the past to control me now (emotionally and spiritually). God is a very loving father. But God has turned that around with a renewed relationship in Him. Yes, He is an awesome Dad!

Hello Josinella *hug*

God bless you this day.

I copied and pasted some of the awesome statements that you made about God. Woooooohoooooo! Amen.

God is so very good. It is good for us to remind ourselves often, what He has done and praise Him for it.

When looking through the eyes of Love, God, it gives us a whole new and blessed perspective. Thank You Jesus.

God bless you.
Love,
Mack

by **josinella** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 10:44 am

I got up this morning and saw the most awesome display of God's presence in our lives: a rainbow! It filled the horizon and was pretty large yet faint. I tried to get a picture of it on my cellphone but I couldn't capture it. It seemed to disappear. It was like God was telling me to remember Him and His covenant promise to us. Just there for a minute to remind me of His presence.

I checked out the link on abuse. It was pretty confirming and I filled a lot of the descriptors, esp. the one about keeping busy. You don't have to feel anything if you keep busy. God has worked hard in the past year to reach me, heal me and slow me down. This site is very on-track with His path for me. He knows my inner soul: He takes through something and He confirms it through other people or things. I hope I keep grasp of Him & His promise to me. I don't want to lose Him again!

I love you lord!

by **Dora** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:24 am

Oh yes the keeping busy part.
I can relate.
What is going on inside your mind when you are trying to keep busy?

The enemy likes to attack saying look at what you've done. When in reality it's not what you've done, but what others have done to you.

His plan is to mak the little girl inside feel like unworthy trash because of what others have done to her. She's a Child of God who's just looking for a safe environment where she can be loved and accepted. Which you have found here.

Colossians 3:12
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Hold on tight to Jesus. With all you've got.
*hug*

by **mlg** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:24 pm

Awww sis, don't ya just love when God shows us His brilliance through rainbows, and butterflies, and trees, and animals? The things He creates for us to just sit and be still and know that He is God. Oh how thankful I am to have such a loving Lord.

Sis, you mentioned how you want to stay close to God, it's a lifelong journey that can be done easily if you will seek Him every morning when you wake up. Make Him the start of your day.

luv ya sis

by **josinella** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 5:24 pm

You know Pine & Mlg, I was going to sign off because I felt like I had reached a point that I could be alone with God. But maybe I am being deceived.

What do I think about when I stay busy? I try not to think about the little girl inside. This is painful for me, very much so! God had asked me 5 weeks ago to start working on my inner issues. I kind of blew it off. He has healed my heart of the past, believe me, and I have given it to Him. But the inner child, it's like the last thing left.

I will have to go to God in prayer. This is where my special friend has been helping me with. It is an area where I don't want to go right now. I think that it is why I don't sleep well all of a sudden. Like God wants me to address it, and I can't, too painful. I can't do it, guys. I don't know what I'm afraid of.

by **mlg** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:53 pm

YOU don't have to do anything sis, God will do all the work. In fact He wants to. Submit to the Lord sis. Don't fight God, as God hasn't ever hurt you sis, and only wants the best things for you. The little girl inside desperately needs to be let out. Come on sis, I'll walk this walk with you. Let's talk about the little girl you've closed up inside for so long. What was something the little girl always longed to be able to do, but was never allowed to do?

Please share.

luv ya lots sis

by **josinella** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:28 am

Mlg, I understand what you are saying and I thought temporally could do this. But spiritually, emotionally I can't. God (and I hope it is Him) is getting too deep into my soul with this. I lost connection with my feelings a long time ago. I just get moody, at times. I think people are used to me being this way, and ignore me.

I had a very structured childhood, I didn't have siblings and I didn't play much. People were close only for a brief time, then gone. I wrongfully have accepted that God didn't intend for me to have close relations with people. (Satan's way to make me angry with God.) I am the way I am with people because I don't want them to feel "left out", like I do. It's hard to be loving to others when you don't get a hug, kiss or appreciated.

I said before that I haven't been sleeping well. It is like God has jumped on this point and won't let me rest. I don't want to be picked open and left alone. I wanted a better life for myself, but life to me has been sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else play ball. I hear God beckoning but I want to know that things are going to be better this time, really better.

The friend that I privately messaged you about is the closest that I have had to real intimacy. I felt understood and cared about, then God stepped in and snatched him from me. It happens all the time. Now I know what a leper feels like. That's how I feel all the time. I'm accursed. I couldn't get it as a child, and I'm not getting it as an adult. What's to talk about?

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