Christianity Oasis Forum

[sweetlittleangel]

maaaa

yes ma , i know its totally exhausted emotionally...

the first step on the ccc study which ive started yesterday was really hard n tiring too..we will get thru this together gether ma.

side by side He is walking and working thru you and me ma yay!

i love u mama.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Poe

God bless you this day.

You asked:

How am I going to get through all this?

Ugh.

Well there is an old song that I want to share a few of the lyrics with you, Poe. It's entitled "One Day At A Time, Sweet Jesus"

I'm only human, I'm just a woman
Help me believe in what I could be
And all that I am
Show me the stairway, I have to climb
Lord for my sake, teach me to take
One day at a time


cho: One day at a time sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you
Just give me the strength
To do everyday what I have to do
Yesterdays gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine
Lord help me today, show me the way
One day at a time


Poe, it is truly, one day at a time. When The Word tells us not to think too far ahead that today has enough challenges of it's own, it is Truth. Somehow we've gotten it in our heads that we have to be responsible and we must plan ahead so we can be prepared for anything and everything that comes our way. When in reality that way of thinking, on the worldly level, is a peace and joy stealer.

Receive His peace and His joy. Walk through today with Him.

I'm praying for you, Poe. God's blessed will be done.

God bless you, Poe.
Love,
Mack

[Poefenjaf]

Day 12

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I have a big weed to pull out today. I don't want to, because it is going to hurt. Can I put it off? I wish I could, but this particular weed is going to ruin a very special relationship I have if I don't. And I am tired of this weed. Actually, this one weed has others attached to it.

Before I do this, I need to address something else: A dear sis of mine here sent me a pm and spoke a lot of Truth. And I so appreciate that. Without her encouragement and the encouragement of others I just could not get through this. She also said something that I don't quite agree with. My aim is not to cause trouble here - not at all because I hear her heart behind these words. Lemme quote and then explain:

Right now your emotions are overtaking your walk with the Lord. Instead of leaning on God you are so busy worrying, that God can't work for you.

My emotions aren't overtaking my walk with God. I simply have repressed them for so long, that they are now being released. Isn't that what Psalm 56:8 says: Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle; are they not in thy book?

I am getting rid of the tears I have bottled up inside me and allowing them to come out so that God can catch them in His bottle. As for not leaning on God ... Does that mean we have to pretend not to be struggling? Is sharing my struggles so openly a sign of weakness? Or does it mean I am nor relying on God? No - it means I am human and I am not making excuses for being human anymore.

I love you sis (you know who you are)

Ok - on to my weeding.

JEALOUSY

A weed I never thought I had. I am in a relationship with a wonderful guy, but it seems this weed is getting the better of me. Our relationship is unique, because it is a very "abnormal" one in the sense that it spans continents and our main mode of communications is the internet. Already the odds are stacked against us. We have our issues as any normal couple would, but I know the relationship is very real to us - or me at least.

Now there has been some issues in the past and I am struggling to get rid of the jealousy I feel. I have been cheated on before by guys in previous relationships. My ex-fiance cheated on me with the girl he is married to now - they were just "friends". I have forgiven them, but the hurt and anger stayed in my heart.

Most of you will know they guy I am "with" as he is a member of Oasis too. He is a very gentle, loving guy, but I just so struggle to really believe that he loves me and only me and wants to marry me and only me and that the friends he has here and elsewhere are just that - FRIENDS. When he is in PM with someone or yakkin with them in yahoo or wherever, I have to really control my jealousy. It is hard.

Attached to this jealousy-weed is another one: my inability to believe that I could be enough for any guy ... let alone this great guy. I find that I look for reasons to fight or argue - maybe in my subconscious I am looking for a reason to say: "Ha! I KNEW he couldn't stick with me!"

I had access to all his emails and even his Oasis account. Every now and again I would check his emails (on his request) as he was so technologically challenged. I would find the smallest things to accuse him. And when he got to the point where he could manage his own emails, I got suspicious.

I need to get rid of this weed, but my biggest fear in pulling it out, is that when I do, somewhere down the line I will find out that my suspicions were right - that I am NOT enough and that he's found some other. He has a part to play i this too, I believe. He has to make me believe in any and every way possible that I am enough. How? I don't know. That will be his choice. Please know - this is not a DEMAND. No pressure.

I pull the weed of jealousy.

Now my heart is bare, sore, vulnerable and tender. Wide open. How it hurts and how it petrifies me.



I pull the weed of jealousy

[flutemusic67]

Poe sometimes my heart breaks for you. But, most of the time I admire your strength and honesty.

I teared up after reading your last few posts. So much pain you have suffered, yet so much hope you have in Jesus. He is carrying you right through this whole process and you are hanging on tight to Him and His promise.

What a blessing you are to others who read these posts. Including me. Thank you, poe, for taking this journey and allowing us to follow along.



flute

P.S. I completely understand your emotions and struggles with your relationship. Still there, still doing that. But with patience and LOVE we WILL overcome this.

[Poefenjaf]

OH SHEESH

I have just posted my Day 13 blog and for some reason it kicked me out of Oasis, now I have to redo it ... and I can't rem,ember what I wrote

DAY 13

Ugh - let's try this again ....

Today's stepping stone is a real joy for me ... it's something I do naturally anyways and I love doing it and I am good at doing it (said with no pride I promise). Today's lesson was all on serving others and fellowship.

As most of you would know, I love people and I love yakkin ... so I LOVE fellowship! I also serve in my church: in leading worship and in a small group and generally just wherever I can. I love it and I do it with a joyful heart.

One thing that came to mind in the study though: I don't like people serving ME. Weird huh? Look at it like this. I am quick and eager to help where I can, but when I need to lean on others ...
I think this is a very important TRUTH I need to get a hold of. Fellowship is about TWO or more ... not about one person serving the others and not getting served themselves

Another thing I need to allow is ENCOURAGEMENT from others. I always encourage others, but when they do the same with me, or tell me the worship is great, then I get all shy and say it was nothing. How wrong I am. At the moment I am experiencing an increased measure of grace and anointing when I lead worship in church (again said with humility and NOT pride). When people thank me after church, I say It was nothing

[sweetlittleangel]

woaaaa mama! one more step to go

awww ma, yeah its a painful journey..i know that..

a painful journey remind me of Jesus..was stripped naked, exposed and vulnerable..

pierced to the cross..now i know when..tht we need to strip ourselves of every pride, ego and sin and come down emptied in our spirits for God to fill us more..

so that we can be humble like Him..

ty mama..ur journey is an eyes opening for me.

[mlg]

You know sis, I love helping others as well. I have come to realize that it's ok to have others help me too, as they receive a blessing from helping me, and I don't want to rob them of that blessing, so I have learned to be humble and allow others to minister to me too. Took me a little time to realize this, but I know that God wants us to minister to one another, and we have to be on the receiving end of that at times.

I have watched you on this path sis, and yes you have one more day to go on the steps, but the journey is just beginning. You have a whole lifetime of working with God to renew you daily, and for Him to mold you into what He wants you to be. Enjoy the journey sis, it gets more exciting from here.

luv ya poe

[Dora]

praising God for the work he has done in you and is doing in you.
He's not finished with you yet.
More blessings to come.

Don't forget when you are all done to come back often to refresh.

love you dearly

[Poefenjaf]

Day 14

Something's happened that's pulled the rug from under my feet. I am man-down ... or is it woman down?

Pray. please.

[mlg]

My dear sister, may you know that God knows the reasons that things happen in our life. Just know that He is still in control, and you can get through this situation.

Praying for you, and you know where I am if you need to talk.

luv ya bunches

[Poefenjaf]

Day 14 update

Hmm ok ... So I cried a lot and then prayed and asked God to show me Truth about this situation. It was what I had hoped for, but didn't believe would be true. Yeah - sounds confusing, but I can't give details, coz I dont want to dishonour anyone.

But God showed me the enemy's lies in a unique way and in such a way that I could not doubt. I must admit ... if this had come my way earlier in my Counseling Walk, I would have failed at this in a GREAT way. I would have just believed the enemy's lies and that would have been disastrous. But this time I prayed .. and trusted the person I know well in this situation ... and God helped me with this too.



Another interesting thing .....
As some of you may have noticed, I asked for my nic to be changed to Melinda ... which is my real name. My reasoning for that was that I was comfortable enough with myself now in order for me to use my real name ... show people the REAL me. WOW. What a revelation I got. I discovered that even though my name is Melinda ... the REAL me IS Poe! I used that as a "cover" originally to hide who I really was ... or thought I was. But in actual fact ... the person I was as Poe ... was the REAL me and I didn't even notice it at all. I became the REAL me after all ... the crazy and nutty girl who has learned to love the little girl inside of her, but who at the same time, can be serious and deep too.

Now ...

Day 14's lesson was all on knowing what we are called to do in God and for Him. I have always known what it was, but I was afraid of it, because it seemed too "big" for me ... too "out there" so I kept fighting it. I would walk in my calling in a small way ... but refused to go deeper.

Since a couple months ago though, I have been stepping out as I have become bored with the level of my calling ... leading worship. So I have become brave and am giving it all I've got and the results and blessings have been amazing!! Unfortunately, the enemy is not quite happy with this, so he has been trying to really unnerve me and has thrown a lot of painful things my way.

But I have tasted enough of God's blessings and presence for me to want more and more and more. There is a song ...

I refused to be denied by the Desperation Band.

I am Yours, you are mine
I refuse to be denied
All of You is my heart's cry
I refuse to be denied

I'm coming after you
I'm coming after you
I'm coming after you

Though I'm weak, though I'm dry
I refuse to be denied
All my life, a sacrifice
I refuse to be denied

I'm coming after you
I'm coming after you
I'm coming after you

This is also my heart's cry.

I will continue on this journey in my blog ...

I, Poe, REFUSE to be denied any longer.

[realtmg]

Amen POE. Poe is Poe.
You have blessed me with your friendship and I'm glad that Truth is working within. He knows what is best.
Thanks for sharing.

Luv Ya


Real