Christianity Oasis Forum

by **bisonfan** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 12:45 am

Okay here I go again as I try to go through the counseling program. I have tried this program several times and got hung up so hopefully this time I will succeed in it. I am a 30 year old female. One of the biggest hurdles I am dealing with is that I have mental illness called bipolar for those who do not know what it is it a chemical imbalance in the brain where you switch between depression and mania which is a high elated state. Not a fun to be on the two extremities and actually gets scary. This is just a piece of information that shows something that I fight very hard on all the time and so you may hear about it a lot. God has been working in my life over the past month so I believe and feel that now is a time I should begin again even though it is going to be hard. One lesson God showing me is that is able to be trusted so I am going to trust that He will help me through the rough road ahead.

by **xxJILLxx** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:13 am

Bison!

I am very proud of u sis!

*ohyeah*

I believe in u sis

♥Jill

by **Poefenjaf** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:16 am

Aw sis ... I will be praying for you all the way. I know it's tough .. I am doing it too at the moment, but I will keep you in my prayers.

Love ya Bison-sis

*Halo*

Poepoe

by **mlg** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 7:49 am

Bison, wonderful to see you beginning again. I want to suggest that when you get to the tough parts of the steps and feel yourself getting caught up, come and blog about why you feel hung up and let's work through it. I'll be here with you sis, on this journey and God will too.

luv ya

by **Dora** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:57 am

One lesson God showing me is that is able to be trusted so I am going to trust that He will help me through the rough road ahead.

You are so right. God is trustworthy. You are on the right path sis.
He has been right beside you sis and will continue to be there for you. I'm here for you also. Give me a shout when you need and ear or a shoulder.

God loves ya and so do I!
*hug*

by **verdad100** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 3:46 pm

Keep up the good work Sis. I understand the depression part of bipolar. I've been fighting the battle for several years. I have given it to God and with is help I am dealing with and it and getting stronger everyday. I pray the same thing for you!!!! I am also doing the couselling program so I will be going through it with you and if you need any help with anything don't bother to ask.
God Bles You!!!

by **bisonfan** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 3:48 pm

it is good to know that you people are there backing me up and encouraging me. It was evident that there is a lot of baggage that I am holding just by my therapy session today that needs to be given to God. My therapist may not be a christian but she does challenge me spiritually and really made me realize I must travel this road again.

by **bisonfan** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 4:48 pm

Day 2:

There has been many things that Satan has told me over and over again that I believe that I must call him out on.

False Lie: I am unloveable
God's Truth: 1 John 4:10 that Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

by **foreverHis** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 4:52 pm

well done bison girl.....yes we are all here cheering you on, and here to talk too....it is not easy, but i can see you are pushing htrough and dealing with the negatives....and allowing the word of God to have the authority .not your thoughts.....good girl

by **bisonfan** » Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:28 pm

Day three talked a lot about forgiveness of self which is an issue that has been one my heart all week and God has been bring to mind through several instances and yet I am so close to it.

There is a part of me that has never told many people for fear of what they would say about how a good christian girl could do that. It started before the actual instances with my exfiance trying to manipulate me by saying he loves me but I had to earn it by being and doing what he commanded. So after he cursed me because I stood up for myself we broke it off. I was devistated I wanted love and willing to do it so a couple of days later I was approached by someone who asked me out and said he loved me and was waiting for me to break it off with my ex. I believed him. So I vowed I do anything needed to get his love. I nearly did it out side of marriage several times just stopped right before it happened and then one time he would not take no for an answer and if someone had not walked in i would have been raped. then i was so angry that i left god and the chruch and went on the party scene.

i know god has forgiven me as i asked but the hard part is that i know i was in the wrong before i ever started anything so i have never forgiven my part or accepted gods forgiveness. but i am so close now god is showing me that he has forgiven me, he forgave me long time ago and that by me not accepting his forgiveness i am calling god a liar so i am to accept it and proclaim that gods blood has washed my sins to be white as snow

i know it needed to speak it out so that it is not hidden in a dark closet where no one knows because then it will never be washed. and i am finding you guys will not judge me for this huge mistake

thanks

by **verdad100** » Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:42 pm

As Christians we are called not to judge!!! I've been judged and I will never do it to another. I'm so glad that you shared with us. God has forgiven you already and its time that you forgave yourself. Forgiveness is something that I struggle with too so I know where you are coming from.

Stay Strong Sis,
GBU Brandy

by **realtmg** » Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:35 pm

Hi!
Keep your thoughts on things above as this world is only our temporary home. Study the Word and communicate with people of Faith. DO NOT allow satan to deter you. You are special in God's eyes.
Keep on fighting the fight.

GBU

Real

Christianity Oasis Forum

Bisonfan's path through the program

:)

Good Work Bison

day three graphic material

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