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day 3

Postby rebellious » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:05 am

Yesterday, I was closer than ever to giving up. It's not that I didn't have faith in God, but I didn't necessarily have faith in myself. I haven't forgiven myself for all that I have done, and every day I have a constant reminder of the stupid actions Iv taken part in.

My major test yesterday was allowing God to work in me. As I said before I did a little "self reflection", but instead of helping myself I eventually only tore myself down. Everywhere I went yesterday someone was giving the news that they were having a baby. I couldn't help but think of the one child I was forced to give up, and the two that were taken from me. I kills me inside every time I think about it.

Any way today is day 3 of this 14 day process. I decided it was best for me to press on. Todays lesson touched on something really important for me. Because of a lot of the things I have experienced I thought it was only best that I left God. Yet, I knew God allows things to happen to us. I just ignored the truth.

God's grace is sufficient for me. What I need to work on is forgiving myself. I know He has forgiven me. So now I only pray for the strength to not only continue on, but to do so with a forgiving heart. I'm going to try my best to continue with this. I have to learn to allow God to change me instead of me trying to do it.
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Postby Dora » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:18 am

Rebellious,
So good seeing you press on.
God is ready and willing to take those pains you spoke of and use them for the good. Yeah it sounds impossable that he could take something like that and use it for the good hu? He does though. Often.
He's working in you, I can see it. He's calling you to a deaper relationship with himself.
Don't allow those past struggles to keep you down. God can and will work with them and through them, brining you to a new improved person. Whom he dearly loves.
Don't give up. You can feel him calling you back can't you. That's him calling you closer to himself. God is good.
You can do this. We're here beside you. And God is carring you through.
Let go and let God.

God bless you and keep you.
Sending up prayers for you. *Pray*
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby mlg » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:53 am

It's so exciting to see you continuing on in the steps sis. Forgiveness is a big issue sis, but must be done for you to get on with where God wants you to be. There is a reason for everything that has happened to you in the past. No you may not understand, nor will you possibly ever know the reason, but just know that God has been, is and always will be in Control. He wants you to forgive yourself as He has already forgiven you. He wants you to become the beautiful butterfly that He knows you can be. Keep allowing God to refine you and things will soon look brighter.

luv ya
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Postby lizzie » Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:05 pm

I have to learn to allow God to change me instead of me trying to do it.


Praise God for that beautiful revelation :)

If we try to do God's job, we will not only fail, but we will feel like failures. In this realization comes submission and surrender to the Only ONE who can change our hearts and our situations. One step at a time ok :)

*hug*

love and blessings to you rebs
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