pearl in a swine pen

[vahn]

I dont know what it is , but sometimes I feel like I'm using this site as a dumping ground , and in turn , all kind of thoughts follow suit and by time I get here, I simply lose track of what was it that I wanted to "unload", so to speak .
Then again that's the whole idea isnt it ? To have a place to go to , with the hope to find an "ear" , to lighten the load ("cast your burden on me" , "my yoke is lighter" and so on) , and for a while I was thinking this thing works , in the spiritual realm, that is if I was to prep myself spiritually prior to commencing any action , I get surprized how quickly the answer comes , but because I am too wrapped up with the "issue" , I miss it all together , and end up talking about things that have any relevance to what's going on in life today . So far so good , only one catch , right after I get off the computer , I get flooded with even more "thoughts".

Now what led me to write all this down ? Well , I forgot !!! (ha ha)

All last week "something" was egging at me , I'm sure its something very common among us spiritually minded folks , to "feel" things , a premonition of some sort , I dont know , who cares right ? But this one was making me a bit uneasy . Well, it finally came to its "fruition" yesterday morning , very early at that , waking up in sweats and literally out of breath (I dont know how long it was I was screaming) yep, a full blown nightmare , so I dash out of the room and I dont even recall what was it I did the next few hours and when I finally came out of the daze , I was shaking from inside out . Yeah , hit the knees yada yada later , I'm trying frantically to find an excuse to head to the library (Oasis , my safe haven) well I shared what ensued the rest of the day (by the time I got here was P.M.) with a fellow COOLie . Buuut , afterward , leaving the library , I was flooded with same feelings I mentioned earlier , one was , "how selfish can you get vahn" , I was so wrapped up in my own "stuff" that I didnt even think that this person might have issues of their own ? and that they, also might be coming here for the same purpose as I , but nooo , me first right ? # Two , it had to do with what the title of this post says , that's what I thought was going on with me , " I found the pearl , but didnt realize the swine pen I was in and somehow I cant seem to be able to get out of it , its like one after the other , and three , which by the way came to me at this morning's devotion , it has to do with something that was said or the way I acted , and it was in the form of a question, "Why is it that when we ask God for some direction , He , almost always sends someone who is just as lost !?!?! (matter of speech)

On my way to the library this P.M. I decided to take the scenic route (meditation) and got on the bike path that goes around the cove and just about when I got there this guy asks me how to get to the other side of the bay , and my immediate response was "you are on the other side bud" , I mean the path is right in front of him right ?
Yeah , this guy didnt know , but I did , and that's when it hit me . My mind drifted off to the day when me and daughter went nature hiking in NC , and yes , playing father knows best I got us both lost , and then we spent half the day playing "Wat if we go this way" game and of course all the "I told you so's" will follow , but when we finally "found" our way we realized that if we had just back tracked a few feet there was a directory post with a map saying the parking lot was only 20 feet away , which is by the way where we were at when we "thought" we were lost .

The point ? when this guy asked directions only one (him) was glad to have found the answer , the other , an attitude of "cant you see it ? its right in front of you !!" . But when two were lost and together found their way back the relief , joy and confidence in each other that results from it ,
those kinda get etched in your memories , and I smile and thank my God that He didnt say to me " Its right behind you vahn" but instead he said "ask your daughter who is just as lost as you"

[mlg]

You know vahn, we can look so lost and rusted up, that noone will want to even look upon us, at times, but when we just allow ourselves to fall into the Maker's hands....well....I have a story to share...I was gonna save it, but I find now, that I think it's meant just for you. So here goes.

There was an old violin, that was put up forsale on the auction block. This was the last item to go up at the auction for the day. Many beautiful items had come before this violin, and sold for some mighty prices. But, when this old worn out violin, got up on the block, noone seemed to want it. I mean it was old, and it was really worn looking, in fact it was down right ugly. Then an old man stood up in the back of the room, and walked up to the violin, and he picked the violin up and began to play the most beautiful notes you've ever heard. The sounds were almost unimaginable. Then people began to bid on that old, worn violin and the price rose to a great sum. You know vahn, we are really nothing, but worn out pieces of flesh, until our Maker reaches down and picks us up, and begins to do a work in us, that will bring about a beautiful melody...one that will change us from that feeling of not wanted, to bringing glory to our Father's name.

That's what we are here for vahn...for our Father's glory. It's really not about us, it's about Him.

luv ya my friend

[deetu]

Hey vahn, there is something you can try. When you get those negative thoughts, say out loud, "Leave me in Jesus's name" You will be surprised how quickly those thoughts leave. The enemy has to bow to Jesus's name. I tell people, it's like you see in the old cartoons with the devil on one shoulder and angel on the other (but think of the angel as the Holy Spirit)

I love helping people. Talking to them, praying for them so I don't mind you dumping here. As a matter of fact, our blessing you is blessing us. The more you empty out the garbage, the more room you have for Him.
Like mlg says, "For the Father's Glory"

I think it's pretty cool that you are catching yourself faster now too