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running from what ?

Postby vahn » Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:48 pm

I realy dont know where this running issue came from, but I do know one thing , if more than one person tells you about something, its worth looking it up. So, I did .

Yesterday I was so "scattered" that I couldnt even make the simplest dicission , wether to put my left shoe on first or the right.
following thru my past experiences at times like this , I found it best to follow through the oldest yet best concept ever , Let GO & Let God .
well, it seems like in some people that interprets as running.
the way I see it , at times like that , no matter what decission you make, you're still making that decission with a confused mind.

As of the other "issues" are concerned , It is not my fear of opening up , or making excuses, or what have you . for those of you who dont know, I hope you're prepaired to read on.

A while back , I decided to relocate , my daughter liked to stay, though I had my reserves about it ,I left anyway, but something kept telling me that it would be the last time I would see her again, the next day found me in another state , I decided to stay overnight and continue in the morning, well , by noon that day I got a call to come back and identify my daughter's body, heading out the hotel I find my truck and trailer with everything I own in it gone , upon arrival to NC I find my house burnt to the ground . Police say foul play , I told them I know, when they told me they would get the parties involved they would notify me , I prayed to God not to do so, and practically begged them as well, when the officer asked me why didnt I want to find out , told them "I just dont feel like spending the rest of my life in prison , for a stupid moron, resposible for this ".
Yesterday after leaving the post I find out that my bank account had been wiped out !

See my friends , I am at perfectly at ease with my daughter's passing, for she was the God's instrument to get me close to Him , and knowing a thing or two about tools , I always kept them in perfect condition, for I knew I would use them again, so if God used her as a tool, I am more than happy with her departure.

It is an anger toward those morons that I have to deal with, and I dont think any amount of counceling , talking over or rehashing could help take that away , ONLY GOD CAN DO THAT . so LET GO & LET GOD
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Postby mlg » Sun Mar 08, 2009 2:18 pm

Vahn, *hug*

Wow I feel the anger in your words. You know your right no amount of counseling will fix what has happened to you...and God IS the answer...but ever thought that maybe God uses counseling to help heal? Do you think that God doesn't give inspiration and guidance to those who He chooses to help counsel us?

I Kings1:11-12 Wherefore Nathan spake unto Bathsheba the mother of Solomon, saying, Hast thou not heard that Adonijah the son of Haggith doth reign, and David our lord knoweth it not? Now therefore come, let me, I pray thee, give thee counsel, that thou mayest save thine own life, and the life of thy son Solomon.

God uses others to give counsel...you can make excuses thinking you don't need the steps to restart...oh yes it's not an excuse though right? Well I was always told if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it is a duck....So as I was saying, YOU need to allow God to heal you. Right now YOU are trying to heal YOU, by putting the pain in a closet.

One thing I must say, you may think you have lost everything...but one thing they can't take from you my friend is your soul. That belongs to God...so get up my friend...let God heal you...He has work for you to do.

Please take my shared words in the loving manner they are meant. God's got this, and He has you too.

luv ya
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Postby vahn » Sun Mar 08, 2009 5:03 pm

Thank you my friend , for your "kind " words . I would not take them in any other manner than that of doing your best to help another that is lost in the storm, which is exactly the reason of why I never left this place . Keep up the good work ! Only one thing I ask though , give a warning shot before you jab , so I'll get a chance to DUCK.

I know mlg , you are absolutely right, I should do the steps once over.
I was reading what I had written earlier , for some reason or other the thought crossed my mind saying ,"What if it was someone else had written that ? How would I respond ? What would I say ?" and then I read your reply, I went she's cheating, man she can read minds through the monitor !!
Yeah, you said what I would , except I wouldn't hot them that hard ! -- I'd hit them harder ! ha !
Yes it is time to get off my seat and do something.

once again thanx a mil
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Postby mlg » Sun Mar 08, 2009 5:26 pm

Good to see something getting through to that stubbornness in you lol

Something else I thought about...when you talked about those people who they feel did something to your daughter. Remember when they took and crucified Jesus, and God had to sit back and not do anything, as He knew that these souls who did this were lost and knew no better. Jesus asked God to forgive these souls. As hard as this is going to be, you are going to have to work on forgiving the souls who hurt your child as well. It won't be easy, but it is something you have to do...in order for you to heal as well.

I pray for you.

luv ya
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Postby vahn » Sun Mar 08, 2009 5:37 pm

yes , Jesus said forgive them Father, for they know NOT what they're doing .

couple of things, 1st He asks His Father to forgive them , He didnt ask for the ability to fogive them hHimself. 2) He said they know NOT . but these people Did know , and 3 I am not Jesus.

please dont take it as an argument, they're just my thoughts , hoping to see where I am with that
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Postby mlg » Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:40 pm

No He didn't ask for the ability to forgive them Himself, because He was their forgiveness. Jesus death brought the ability for them to be forgiven. Now you say these people Knew what they were doing...but my question is how can you say that...when these souls obviously do NOT know Jesus..so they are following Satan who has them so wrapped up in his warped world, they don't know better....And as for #3....you NOT being Jesus....who lives inside of YOU? Does Jesus make His home inside of you? Does He not make you a new creation in HIM? That makes YOU, the light in which others see Jesus. Doesn't Jesus want us to be more like Him? Didn't Jesus forgive Paul for Stephen's murder? Didn't Jesus forgive Paul for the murder of His children? YOU must forgive...otherwise it will eat you alive, and you will become no better than the souls who have done this.

Now that's where you stand my friend :)

luv ya
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Postby --- » Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:45 am

Dear VAHN...not too many have to go through what you have, so I know that our Lord is prepping you for a mighty mission...most would have crumbled long ago...however, you Must forgive if only because #1, He says to, and #2, in the Lords prayer Jesus tells us to pray saying "forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us"...so we are instructed in effect to tell our Father to forgive us the way we forgive others...so if we do not forgive we shall not be forgiven...I wish I could forgive for you, but I cannot...love
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Postby Dora » Mon Mar 09, 2009 7:35 am

Vahn,
Dear brother. My heart aches for what you have indured. I do not know if I could handle this as well as you have. I praise God for your strength.

I want to share with you a time when someone hurt my child my eyes fell on some nails the shape of those used on the cross and these words fell on my ears, "They hurt my child too."

Yes they hurt his child. And he was good enough to forgive. Forgive not for their sake, but for the sake of Jesus because he died even for this sin, even for this miserable person. Yes Miserable. They are miserable in their sin, held in deep darkness. There is no joy where they are. No peace.

It's between you and Jesus not you and this other person. Look at the cross and forgive for Jesus asks you too.

I know you can do this. And my prayers are with you as you struggle through this. *Pray*

I know it's difficult. What Jesus went through so we could receive forgiveness was difficult as well. ;)
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby vahn » Mon Mar 09, 2009 8:26 pm

First and foremost my thanks goes to my Heavenly Father for leading me here (again) to introduce and re-introduce me to His agents that are going out of their way to help me out once again .

Maybe I am having a bit of a difficulty coming clear with my real struggle is . I do agree and thank you all for bringing up again all that I should be living rather than talking , but my dear friends , that is EXACTLY whare my warfare is at. I am in 100% agreement with what all of you "awoke" inside of me tonight , I didnt realize how much clutter was covering all that I should've practised up .

I now realize that it is not the not wanting to forgive , that was -as mlg-said that was eating me up , but rather the inability to do so , yes I do agree with you , forgive I must , otherwise I'll be enslaved to it, and occupy my head day in and day out , which eventually will seperate me from Him once again , I cant serve two masters .

One thing did disturb me though , some one making a coment like "Now If you are genuine"
Please LJD , I beg you not to take this as a personal attack , in fact I thank you for bringing it to light , and also take to account that the comment always disturbes me no matter who it is making it , and my response to that has always been so called "harsh".
See , my beliefs, opinions and Ideas , I may have to defend, but my faith, NEVER . You know why ? I was not saved because Jesus was born , I was not saved because of the miracles he performed on other people , and I definitly was not saved by following his examples or reading about them , in fact He could have suffered for me 10 times more than He did , that would not have saved me either had He not died and resurected , I myself (personal View) used to think even if He had died , it would not've sufficient enough , but it His coming back to prove to the world that He could defy death itself , and you know what only God could defy death, and if Jesus could defy death in the flesh through The Spirit , who am I to question my belief when I have my faith . Any questions ?

I would like to thank you with all earnestness LJD , I just noticed something , I wrote more about one sentence, than I did about anything else !! thank you again , A lightbulb just came on , FOCUSING , I'd been focusing on the wrong issue , Id been focusing on the "inability" to forgive rather than the ability , Hah ! where had I been , " what's impossible with me, is possible with Him " , "With God ALL things are possible "

Hey gotta go
Luv you all
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Postby mlg » Mon Mar 09, 2009 8:33 pm

Hey vahn, you know when we focus on the problem instead of the solution, we will never get anywhere. Yes Jesus is the solution here, and you know this...but you at the moment are so fixiated on what has happened, that you aren't ready to accept the solution. So guess what my friend...time for some cold hard Truth....It's time to get up. Grieve if you must for what is lost, but don't grieve so much that you kill your own soul in the process. Jesus has plans for your soul, and Satan is fighting every step of the way to gain your soul...who are you gonna let win? Are you ready to stand up and fight the good fight? Or are you gonna let the enemy win while you just lay there and let him steal what is not his to take. Your soul belongs to Jesus. Time to get to it. The steps are waiting.

luv ya
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Postby vahn » Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:56 am

Hey LJD

No offense was taken , in fact, I thank you for it , for it set something off in this thick brain of mine that I needed to take a look at .

If there was any appologies in order , it should've been mine .

My time is limited on this computer , but I will use the other one to start on the STEPS again , ( hey , dont tell that to MLG , OK ? she doesnt use gloves when she takes jabs) . will try to post again .

Are we still friends ?

Mya God bless you all .

In Fellowship of Christ
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Postby mlg » Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:02 am

*tiptoes in* pssstttt I heard something...hear that? hear it? Yep that's it...Vahn's Starting the Steps!!!!!!!! wooohoooo Shout the good news from the roof top...... oh vahn is that you? uhmmmm well I didn't say a word...I was just whisteling see *Whistle* Ok, I think I best get back to work. luv ya my friend *tiptoes out*
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