Christianity Oasis Forum

[scootles]

This has the be the hardest one and was talking to BigRed about this the other day.
Some people are just down right mean and just are not forgivable. I am having the hardest time forgiving my daughters husband,he is not allowed in my home,nor do I talk to him.
Others are easier to forgive but wanting to do that is hard. I intend to email my ex boss. I also have a hard time forgiving my ex(sons dad).But we are civil to each other.
For me I am thinking this has got to be the Hardest part of the counseling

[Dora]

Hello Scootles.

It is so very hard as we are unperfect people living amongst pressures of all kinds. But it is so very important. Keep striving to be a forgiving person, even when they don't deserve it.

To be completely honest none of us deserved to be forgiven by God. But he has forgiven even the worst of the worst if they allow him to. And so should we.

These that have harmed us have been harmed themselves. If they knew the perfect peace and love of Jesus Christ they would stop. It is a fallen world we live in. It is in much need of others to show them Christ.

Not forgiving them is putting a burden on you and your relationship with Christ. I encourage you to strive to forgive them for you, for Christ, and for those you love.

God bless you on this journey. Keep doing the steps. Keep walking forward. You will be ever so greatful you did.

Prayers.

[mlg]

Scootles,

Forgiveness is very difficult especially when the pain is deep that others have caused. The main thing to remember is that when you forgive someone doesn't mean that you are making an excuse for their behavior or that it is ok for them to do it again, it's just releasing the burden that you are carrying around. Keep working on forgiving these others as well as yourself. You can do this. Allow the Lord to help you. Ask Him to.

luv ya

[lizzie]

Hi scootles

Oh you are definitely not alone in finding this step to be a difficult, if not the most difficult one of the program.

I think many get stalled here, cuz they think they just CANNOT forgive, whether it be themselves or someone else.

This was a difficult step for me as well. But God brings to mind this scripture:

Matt 5:46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?

See its easy to love those who treat us well, who dont hurt us, who love us back... But the true measure of love, is when we can love like Jesus did.

In the moments before His death, as He hung on that cross, His words were ones of forgiveness:

Luke 23: 34Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.

I see this statement, not only as a petition to God for those who crucified Jesus, but for all of us. Cuz there is none of us who is without sin, none of us that havent broken His heart with our actions and choices.

It is so very humbling to remember that God has forgiven me... Cuz I have done some horrible things. If God forgave me, then who am I to withold the same ?

We cant wait till we FEEL like forgiving. That feeling may never come. Forgiveness is not a feeling, but a choice we must make. And when we remain in unforgiveness, our sins cannot be forgiven by God.

Life is so very short. None of us know how long we have left here. God has designated each of us a certain amount of days on this earth. To live it bound by the chains of unforgiveness is not living the abundant life that Jesus died to give us.

Yes it is not easy, but we do it cuz our Lord commands us to do it, and we do it cuz He did it for us.

God bless u scootles One step at a time sister.

[---]

When I began to apply Jesus words to pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you for righteousness sake and asking for His help.
I began to see in the spirit how God was working on their heart.
It was up and down at first could still sense their anger and hatefulness toward me but the more I purposed in my heart to pray and walk in peace the more peace I began to receive from God.
The only one this is hurting is the one who holds the grudge in a spirit of unforgiveness.
It really bugged me at first to sense that they would be mean and then see them being all nice and happy toward someone else as tho they had done nothing wrong,but now I know that God is not only working in them but in me too.Praise God.
For God is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.
Romans 2:4 Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?
2Corinthians 7:9 Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing.
Pray that God will show them that they were wrong,and He will because we are praying according to His will when we do.
We are not the only ones who have suffered misery.
1CORINTHIANS 15:19 If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.
GALATIANS 6:10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.AMEN

[---]

Why is it you dislike your daughter's husband so? Don't you think that upsets her, because she loves you, and wants you to accept who she loves?

It truly is the hardest thing, and for so long it was so hard for me to forgive anyone. I think my first step in the right direction was when I realized that I am no more perfect than any other human being, and so, I have no right to hold other people's mistakes against them, when I have made mistakes, and am not perfect. What right do I have to hold against someone their faults, when I myself am not faultless. Now, I'm not saying you have not been forgiven for your sins, but remember, God said that you cannot be forgiven for your sins, if you cannot forgive others for their's against you. And it does not make God happy. He wants for us to be happy, and when we are hurt for so long by what others do, we cannot be happy. When we dislike those who have wronged us, God is sad, because He loves the person who wronged you just as much as He loves you.

Simply remember this verse:

But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.
+ Luke 6:27-28

If they don't know God, pray for them, instead of disliking them. Even if they do not say they're sorry for the wrong they have committed (Before you forgive them, after you forgive them, or if they ever accept Christ), either way, what is most important is their salvation. If you pray, then they could come to God, and be better people. Wouldn't that be so wonderful? :] And then, if they were truly a person of God, if they did you wrong, they would say they are sorry, for otherwise, God would not be happy for that. For even if they ask for forgiveness, I believe God would want them to make right with you the things they have done. But all the same, just remember, forgiveness isn't about the other person validating themselves, it's about you living a happy life, and being closer to God. This just pulls you away from God, and He, nor any of us, want that.

And trust me, I do know how hard it is to forgive those who have wronged you. It took me over three years to forgive the person who raped me.

[momof3]

Hi scootles,

This is one of the toughest things we have to do as Christians..until we think about how much God has forgiven us. I can relate to having a hard time forgiving your ex. I was that way, to the point where I wished he would fall off the face of the earth, honestly. And honestly, the Lord knew I felt this way. Only after realizing he was only human too, and how much Id been forgiven for....and going to the Lord with every true feeling I had about him, did the forgiveness come. It does start with a decision. Lord, I wanted to forgive him but only because i knew i had to. As I asked the Lord to help me, and made the decision to forgive, He started softening and changing my heart..but it was a daily thing for a while. Each time those hard, cold feelings came back, I had to view them as an assult from the enemy..trying to keep me in the bondage of unforgiveness and bring it back to the Lord.

We are all human. Some can hurt us pretty deeply. It's not easy, but it is possible. He will help you to do so, so decide to do so and take it to the Lord. He knows your deepest hurts.

love you, sis. Keep fighting the good fight.

in Jesus,
momo