Christianity Oasis Forum

[Tracy L]

Sis Mack,

What a wonderful testimony....woooohoooo. Now, that's something I definitely want in my life. I, too, got into 'acting" and rules of church and legalisation and drifted away from my "relationship" with our Lord. I did things cuz I thought that is what they told me to do at church or from Christian television. I was totally clueless.
I tried to rid myself of sins that were so powerful that I couldn't do it and come to find out I was supposed to continue my walk with Jesus and the sins would fade away cuz the closer you get to Him the less you want to do the bad things. I had it all reversed. Plus I let my "feelings" get in the way. If I was sad and depressed I would cry and would not share with my Christian bros and sis' at first and would internalize it and soon it got to be too much for me. I didn't know at the time either that we are supposed to help carry each others burdens so I never shared.

Sis, what brought you back to Jesus in full?
I mean, did you just get tired of "missing something" in your life? Or did He do something to "wake up you"? Mine was both. My spirit was restless and I also had a serious disease in my body that was making me very sick. And worst part is I dove into sin and felt tremedous conviction. I then thought, ok, that's it. My life has not been working, something is wrong and I began my search and way back to Jesus.

Tracy

[Mackenaw]

Hello Tracy

God bless you.

Well, I never felt like I came back to Jesus -- for me, it was more like I finally went to Jesus. May sound confusing -- how can someone be Born Again and not be with Jesus? But, what I was doing was live like Jesus was conforming to my life -- instead of me conforming to His.

Let me give an example. Warning, sometimes my examples are kinda goofy. .

Imagine someone has a swimming pool and they believe themselves a swimmer, and possibly others do as well. This person is careful to clean the pool, buy cool toys for the pool, builds funky gazebos to surround the pool, maybe even installs a fire pit and an outdoor kitchen to the side yard of the pool. The person buys a wardrobe for just the pool area, and sits poolside a lot, with great music playing. The atmosphere is just too cool. This person occasionally wades in the pool, sometimes even getting their hair wet. But a swimmer? No way.

Well, that was me for those first 23 years, I deemed myself a Christian, but I was just decorating the outside of me to mimic a Christian -- and I seldom got in the water.

What motivated me to finally seek Him with my whole heart. I was at the end of myself. I had finally run out of options that I could conjure up to fix things. I was extremely tired and exhausted. He was my last hope -- when He should have been my first.

God bless you, Tracy.
Love,
Mack

[---]

Hey there, Tracy and everyone,

What a wonderfully genuine and authentic series of postings and sharing. God bless you all! You have no way of knowing how many you are touching in sharing your personal struggles and triumphs. And thank you, Christianity Oasis, for giving us this opportunity to share, grow, and rejoice.

I'd like to throw in a couple of things, too, if I may.

Back on your questions and observations on sin, Tracy, I think God despises sin. Isn't there a passage somewhere where it says He is of purer eyes than to behold sin?

But as great as His intolerance for sin is, His love for us is infinitely more!! In fact, He sacrificed His one and only Son to wipe clean our debt of sin. He's a far greater Savior than we are sinners!

So why do we still struggle with sinful temptations and (gulp!) actions? Our foe knows he can't get to God, so he works on His children -- us. And as much as I wish God would just wipe it all away, it just doesn't work like that (ohhhhhh, how I wish it did!!).

You talked about being "healed" of a sin. I do think that happens, but I'm not sure that is usually God's way. If He were just to wipe out a sinful challenge while we slept, what would be the answer the next time we're tempted?? Unfortunately, if we gave into sin, we have some vulnerability that needs resolution. Perhaps our struggle with the sin will ultimately be the way we come to realize and TRULY embrace God's saving love. The New Testament talks about patience and perseverence purifying us, like how gold is purified in the fire.

All I know is that I could never, NEVER do it on my own. When I try is usually when I find myself in the greatest demise. But as soon as I'm willing to genuinely turn my struggle over to God and rely on HIS strength and HIS righteousness, there is no temptation or threat that can stand up to it.

And one last point, He's NOT keeping score. Even when we fall -- again and again and again -- when our confession and repentance are real and genuine, He forgives AND FORGETS!! He wants us moving forward in His strength and His grace to glorious and victorious tomorrows!!

His care for us in NEVER failing, and His love of us is infinite.

I hope that rambling made sense and was worthy of this wonderful string of praise.

God bless you all!!! And keep up the great strides forward, Tracy!!

[Tracy L]

Thank you Mackeronis and dcs,

I am soooo grateful for ya'll on here. I am going through so tough things right now in my life. I go from being numb to overly emotional. Last nite, my numbness wore off and I just cried and cried. I know the Lord is NOT at fault for my decisions. He gives us free will and I made wrong choices.
Now, ya'll have helped me beyond what I can say here and I praise God for this site and for the friends on here for speaking Truths, even when they hurt and also for the agape love and lifting up. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't found this site at this point in my life. When I first began my Christian walk that was one big mistake I made was thinking I oould do it on my own (pride). But I am finally realising God did NOT make us "islands". Even though we have Him and He is more than enough for us, we also NEED that healthy relationship with the body of Christ so we can make it through the tough times.
Ya'll will never know how much I appreciate the encouragement, words of wisdom and just LOVE that you share on here.

GBU all,
Tracy

[Tracy L]

OH, and Mackies,

Your example made total sense to me. And I love your sense of humor on the goofy thing. It was not goofy to me.

Luvs ya,
Tracy

[Mackenaw]

Hello Tracy

God bless you.

Yes, some days are cloudy -- requiring we walk in faith, leaning on Him and trusting Him at His Word, that He is right there with us. Other days, it is crystal clear and we dance in the sunshine. He is constantly reminding me that He is there always.

Time to sing, girlfriend Love you, Mack

On a clear day
Rise and look around you
And you'll see who you are
On a clear day
How it will astound you
That the glow of your being
Outshines every star
You'll feel part of
Every mountain, sea and shore,
You can hear from far and near
A world you've never never heard before

And on a clear day
On a clear day
You can see forever and ever and ever and ever more.