Christianity Oasis Forum


This forum is for those who seek to share their various Testimonies, Memorials and life experiences so that others can see the awesome impact that Jesus Christ has made in their life. Share the seeds of TRUTH that you have obtained from past experiences with others as to prevent your fellow Christian brothers and sisters from falling into the same traps that you did. Otherwise ... The experience was for nought.

Just part of the neverending story

Postby susidivah » Sun Jul 22, 2007 6:00 pm

*Prior to coming to Oasis I had been working on my testimony. After much praying, soul searching, and guidance I finished my story... well, no one's story is really finished now is it? I am hoping that through His Spirit I may share some of my story that has brought me much closer to Him. More importantly, that my words may help someone else see how forgiving, gracious and loving a God we have the opportunity to serve!*

I was raised in a "good" Christian home. My family began attending a Methodist church when I was 6 years old. I was walked through all the rituals... confirmation, baptism, communion... always having the perception God was somewhere "up there" and Jesus was the reason we got presents at Christmas and baskets full of candy at Easter. I grew up in a "no talk" home... meaning negative, bad feelings were never expressed. I had friends but didn't get to spend a lot of time with them. So I spent more time isolated in my room, listening to music, reading, or fantasizing about how my life would be perfect in the future. For then, life in our family looked perfect from the outside. But inside there were those "pink elephants" in the living room... the ones you tried to ignore? My father wasn't around much due to long hours at work. He was a heavy drinker and smoker until I was 9. By the grace of God and I believe an ultimatum by my mother, he quit both cold turkey. It was very rarely discussed again.

When I was 10 I was introduced to "adult" magazines and films through my uncle's stash at my cousin's house. When we grew up my cousin and I wanted to be Playboy bunnies for the longest time. I also developed a flair for writing the erotic thoughts dancing in my head. These thoughts became more frequent, and yet sex education was never taught nor reinforced from the Christian perspective in my home. Again the "don't talk" rule.

College opened up new doors for me, as the newfound independence enticed Satan even closer. I stopped going to church with the excuse I could worship God "on my own time, in my own way". Although I did well in my 6 years of higher education I began drinking heavily, developed bulimic behaviors for a couple of years, and sexualized everything. I was entangled in an abusive relationship with a guy which wound up in a university court case where I wound up mandated to therapy. After my parents read 15 pages of the behaviors I'd been exhibiting for a good year their response was to take me home for 3 days then ship me back to school without one word said about it. After this time, I began to start playing piano again after a few years away (I was a vocal major in school). I truly believe this was God nudging me... He was there although I didn't see it at the time.

When I moved to the Chicago area for work I still indulged in the adult entertainment. I was in a couple of relationships that had no depth and were all about lust. I was drawn to the adult internet chat rooms and found out I was really good at phone sex. In the midst of all this, and while establishing myself in my career, my sister got married to a Godly man who was Phillipino. As she prepared to leave for the Philippines for a year she encouraged me to look for a church home. She even went to a couple of churches with me, but I didn't "feel" anything there. Oddly enough, I found my church in the yellow pages :) From the first day I attended I knew God brought me there for a reason. Shortly after they were looking for a keyboardist and although I hadn't played in years I joined the worship band. I became more and more involved in church and for the first time started to actually feel and understand a relationship with Jesus Christ.

But Satan had other plans... you see, although I had found my calling for the time in the church I hadn't truly protected my mind and heart. The choices were still there... and Satan still enticed me with all the carnal, fleshly desires to the point where I began leading a double life. I had met a man who became my co addict, and was in the swinger lifestyle for three years with him. For some reason, I broke up with him the end of 2004. Something was calling me to a new program at my church, Celebrate Recovery. A 12 step Christian program where I revealed for the first time that I struggled with sexual addiction. I also began an online biblical study on sexual purity, and read everything I could on recovery. This went on about four months... until for SOME REASON, I began to stray again, and I fell... big time... that reason I realized later was not only influence by the enemy, but by my own selfishness and need for control.

Last chapter... after being one of the darlings of the Chicago lifestyle for 6 months (single bi sexual females are hot commodity), I had gone to a new doctor for my female exams and such. The "such" turned out to be a pretty extensive battery of STD testing, revealing I had contracted herpes at some point. I am asymptomatic in that I have no signs nor symptoms but the virus is there. For life. That natural consequence of my actions humbled me greatly. I did not blame God and was able to acknowledge His grace for it could have been much worse. I began to see where God's hand was in all of my sin, and how much He protected me and loved me even when I was dancing with the devil so to speak.

Cliches aside, to wrap this long, abbreviated version of the story (hehe), one of the core beliefs of sex addicts is that if you knew the real me, you could never love me, and would leave me. I've learned that the only one who will truly never leave me, and gives me unconditional love everyday, is HIM. I read it in the Bible, and you can too. I still struggle at times with boundary and relationship issues but my relationship with Christ is becoming so much stronger. Satan is but a whisper to me most of the time, and most of the time I CHOOSE not to hear him :) I thank God for bringing me to this community as well. Here I've found amazing Christian brothers and sisters, a real and trustworthy friend, and an awesome Godly mentor. I appreciate you all and know I pray for you daily.

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said, "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ's good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2Corinthians 12:8-10 NLT

*BigHug* Susi
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TRUTH

Postby Christianity Oasis » Tue Jul 24, 2007 6:02 pm

Greetings fellow Christians,

Those of you out there who have or are experiencing the enemy of our soul's grasp on you through sexual behavior, and have read what our friend Susidivah has shared, do not have to respond or share the shame that you have carried, if you choose not to, but please do consider the words shared here.

You are NOT alone. It is not your dirty lil secret. It is a plague of the mind and heart which the enemy of our soul uses to entangle millions of souls in his web. It is a dirty lil seed that was planted within you long ago and when it was watered by thought, word and deed ... It became a weed which when it feels neglected cries out to be watered. When you sense it's calling you to water it, you react to it. It is now a HABIT.

A habit much like drinking in excess, gambling, overeating, cutting, etc ... In that it is a craving which many become dependent upon. The enemy of our souls likes to overwhelm the soul which the seeds of deception has entered as to keep them in check, confused, ashamed and/or hurting as to prevent them from finding the Light of TRUTH that will set them FREE.

I want to share a secret ... Most believe that sexual behavior is a PHYSICAL habit and to a certain extent, it is ... But make no mistake, this seed began in the mind and it is the mind which must be changed before the habit will ever be overcome.

As children we are like a sponge to new things and that which we do not understand. When sexual thoughts are introduced into the mind, the body reacts. This is because our body and our spirit react to our mind.

Genesis 1:26 ... And God said, "Let US make man in OUR image, after OUR likeness"

WOW ... DID YA CATCH THAT?

WE ARE MADE IN GOD'S IMAGE ...

We know that God is three parts but ONE called the TRINITY.

Do we, being made in THEIR image also have three parts but are one?

The answer is YES ...

1 John 5:7-8 ... For there are three that bear record in Heaven, the Father, the Word (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost: and these THREE ARE ONE. And there are three that bear witness IN EARTH, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these THREE AGREE IN ONE.

Therefore we, as humans, are made of three parts or depths.
 
SPIRIT, WATER AND BLOOD

Let's look into this a lil.

The Bible says that when humans die each of the three parts of us goes a certain place.

THE HUMAN TRINITY


Our BODY returns to dust:
Genesis 3:19 ... for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.


Our SPIRIT returns to God:

Ecclesiastes 12:7 ... Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was:
and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.



When the righteous dies, their SOUL goes to ABRAHAM'S BOSOM:

Luke 16:22 ... And It came to pass that the beggar died and was carried by the angels into Abraham's Bosom.

You can learn more about this after you read this message at: www.ChristianityOasis.com/keyword/Abrahamsbosom.htm



LET'S LOOK AT THIS AGAIN ...

1 John 5:7-8 ... For there are three that bear record in Heaven, the Father, the Word (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost: and these THREE ARE ONE. And there are three that bear witness IN EARTH, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these THREE AGREE IN ONE.

The WATER represents the BODY since the human body is made up of mostly water.

The BLOOD represents the SOUL cuz DNA in blood is used to identify a specific person ... And:

Levitcus 17:11 ... For [b]the LIFE of the flesh is in the BLOOD: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls: for it is the BLOOD that maketh an atonement for the SOUL.[/b]

When a Christian dies, they receive a new SPIRITUAL body.

1 Corinthians 15:40-44 ... There are also celestial bodies, and bodies terrestrial: but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another. There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars: for one star differeth from another star in glory. So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption: It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in glory: it is sown in weakness; it is raised in power: It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body.

BUT ... WHAT OF THE SPIRIT OF MAN?

In the book of Genesis, God says ... LET THERE BE ... AND THERE WAS. But if we look closer at the scripture itself ...

Genesis 1:1-3 ... In the beginning God created the Heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the SPIRIT OF GOD (Holy Spirit) moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there belight: and there was light.

We see that God THOUGHT and God's WORD (Jesus is the Word of God John 1:1-14) spoke and HIS SPIRIT obeyed and caused the physical change.
 
IN LIKE MANNER ... Our assigned SPIRIT obeys our SOUL.
I will give you an example ... You are watching television, happy as a lark and THEN you see something that saddens ya. YOUR SOUL TELLS YOUR SPIRIT THAT YOU ARE SAD AND YOUR SPIRIT REACTS AND THE PHYSICAL BODY CHANGES. TEARS FALL FROM YOUR EYES AND OUT COME THE KLEENEX. YOUR SOUL CHOSE TO BELIEVE OR THINK SOMETHING WAS SAD AND SAID "LET THERE BE" SADNESS SO YOUR SPIRIT OBEYED AND CHANGED EMOTIONS AND YOUR BODY REACTED.

1 Corinthians 2:11 ... For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God.

Do you UNDERSTAND THAT? YOUR spirit knows the condition of your SOUL and what is in your mind. Just as God's Spirit knows what is in GOD's Mind. Your spirit REACTS to your SOUL. So if ya do a lil simple math. IF ya wanna control the cravings of the FLESH ... CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS.

It is a process that occurs cuz of what God said ... We are made in THEIR image. OUR SPIRIT AND BODY ARE SUBJECT UNTO OUR SOULS. This is an important TRUTH to be aware of cuz it's happening with or without your being conscious of it.

WHAT OUR SOUL CHOOSES TO THINK AND/OR BELIEVE IS WHAT OUR SPIRIT WILL PERFORM AND THE BODY WILL FOLLOW. It doesn't matter if it is good, bad, happy or sad. The SPIRIT only hears the words ... Let there be ... And it sets forth to bring to pass what you THINK.

CHOOSE YOUR THOUGHTS AND BELIEFS WISELY

Sounds easy enough huh? But how do we do this 24/7 ...

RENEW YOUR MIND

Romans 12:2 ... And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

We have created an awesome 14 day program which will assist you in Renewing Your Mind. You can gain access to it here:

www.ChristianityOasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm

IF you choose to follow the path that has been set before you ... You will become understanding of these words:


1 Thessalonians 5:23 ... And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.


Luv all of ya
 
Jesus is coming ... Get your soul prepared.
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awesome!!!

Postby myshepherd » Sun Dec 23, 2007 10:36 pm

I searched for addiction related posts and came across yours. And I thank you for sharing like that , it is a help to ones still struggling to make satan just a whisper. I wish i had the elequence you have in writing like this ,I guess I would post more .
But I just wanted to letcha know that it was touching and I thank God for you and others like you as this place we've found does have many treasures because of the people here.One of which is you!!
I was led to relate this to you, and say thank you!



your friend and brother
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Thank you our Lord!

Postby susidivah » Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:41 pm

Hey myshepherd :)

Thank you for your kind words... I am so grateful that He gave me the ability to express my testimony in a way that glorifies Him and may help others!

I haven't read my testimony in a while, and its amazing how when I do I just seem so removed now from the person I used to be. But, I know I can't take it for granted, cuz the other guy is always waitin for opportunity to score!

I wish you and everyone else who reads this much strength and rememberance of HIS love and grace so that you may put on the armor of God every day!

GBU, Susi
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luv ya

Postby storm » Sun Jan 13, 2008 5:48 am

susi you are special...

i count you as my friend

we all have a past be it good , bad or somewhere in between

God loves you, your oasis family loves you

*ThisMuch*

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miracles happen every day

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