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Journal Day #1-Sick and tired of this addiction!!!

Postby jaragon6676 » Sat Apr 11, 2015 12:04 am

Journal Entry #1 Stepping Stone Healing. First off i would like to ask that all who read this please keep this journal on this site and dont be quick to judge. I have been facing a pornography addiction for a very very long time! About 15 years. I accepted Christ in 2010 and have still been facing this addiction. I am sick and tired of it and wish it would just leave. I have not told ANYONE of this because i am so ashamed of myself. I have had enough and wish to start letting people know (again please keep my journals on this site-at least till im ready to share with others outside the site). I have been feeling alone and that God has blotted my name out of the book of life and will leave me this way. I feel like i have no friends aside from coworkers that i see maybe 3 days out of the week. I have prayed time and time again that God would please change me and take this away. I have developed OCD as a result of this addiction and thank God its not as bad as it could be. I have always wanted to find the one for me but have never even been on a date as girls were never interested in me. I tend to hide all my insecurities when face to face with someone. If i remember the rest i wanted to say ill add another journal entry. But for now thank you for listening and God Bless! *help*
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Re: Journal Day #1-Sick and tired of this addiction!!!

Postby Mackenaw » Sat Apr 11, 2015 3:30 am

Hello Jaragon6676 :)

God bless you this day, and welcome to Christianity Oasis.

I encourage you to embrace the 14 Day Christian Counseling Study (CCCC) fully. Even if the scriptures within the stepping stones are ones that you are very familiar with, don't be tempted to gloss over them, but instead...meditate on them. Many years ago, The Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart that I had not been fully meditating on God's Word, because I was falsely believing a lie -- that I already knew it. The Word is Alive -- Jesus is Alive, and He has so much to teach us...to unveil to us. Embrace God's Word anew! Hallelujah!!!

If you have any questions regarding the teachings within each Stepping Stone, please do not hesitate to post them and I (or another) will try our best to help you find the answers -- God willing. :)

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. God's will be done.

God bless and keep you, Jaragon6676.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack
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Re: Journal Day #1-Sick and tired of this addiction!!!

Postby dema » Sat Apr 11, 2015 9:10 am

Do you go to church? Are you involved in activities? Trying to not think about chocolate, for example, is a sure way to do nothing but think about chocolate. The way to get rid of a thought isn't to condemn yourself and repent and repent - quit doing that. If you fall in, then say a quick prayer of repentance and move on. Accept that Jesus died for your sins and accept the forgiveness that is promised.

Satan uses guilt to keep you sinning. Find OTHER things to fill your life.

I highly recommend finding things with people - particularly Christian people. Finding a church and volunteering whenever you can is a great way to change your thinking.

And I do recommend the study.

God does forgive. The idea is to not live in the guilt - Satan wants you to do that. God sent Jesus so you wouldn't.
Hugs,
Dema
Shame and blame are the devil's tools. With God ALL things are possible.
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Re: Journal Day #1-Sick and tired of this addiction!!!

Postby Rabinantha » Sat Apr 11, 2015 10:34 am

Hello friend!

I'm new at this too (yesterday was my day 1 also) and although my problems are much different from yours we require the same treatment. Don't feel discouraged that you've been a christian for 5 years and still struggle with this problem. I think once you start opening up to people you'll find that many many christians (pastors even) struggle with this same issue as yourself.

When you're ready to talk about this with someone face to face I would suggest maybe a pastor or elder of your church (If you attend one) and I agree with Dema that you need to find something else to occupy your time. Surrounding yourself with christian people is a great way to do that. But you also need to find something to do when you're at home alone. Especially at night. Satan isn't the prince of darkness for no reason. He works strongest at night. When you sit down at your computer, I suggest listening to some worship music. It's hard to watch pornography when you're singing praises to God. (If you don't know any worship music you can listen to radio online. The ones I know about are www.klove.com www.plr.org and www.air1.com)

Also I've learned that my issues are due to spiritual warfare and I believe yours are as well. I watched a series of sermons on youtube that helped me greatly.. It is by Pastor Robert Morris and the series is titled "Free Indeed". Maybe it can help you in some ways too. I know he mentions porn addiction in one of the videos but I can't remember which one. Here's the link to all of them: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=P ... I2DzMCd9aM

Anyway, hope this helps! :)
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church and music

Postby jaragon6676 » Sun Apr 12, 2015 11:42 am

I do listen to christian music. And basically I only listen to christian music. I listen to Air1, Klove, and family life radio. And as for church. There is 1 main reason for my reasoning of not going to church or listening to so called preachers and pastors. DECEPTION! I don't trust any churches anymore as well as most pastors. We are in the end of days. More and more falling away. More and more Christians being persecuted left and right. The world hates us and most pastors have become lovers of money more than anything. As well as most Christians calling themselves Christians but not knowing what it truly means to be a Christian, they are lukewarm. The things I've seen and heard have me convinced without a doubt that the Bible is 100% true and the end is at the door
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Re: Journal Day #1-Sick and tired of this addiction!!!

Postby dema » Sun Apr 12, 2015 2:22 pm

There always have been false teachers - but they all aren't false. It hurts worse when we have opened ourselves up to others and then they let us down. But to a point, you find what you expect in a group of people. You find what you expect to see and hear - because that is where you are paying attention.

People are just people -and we are supposed to love each other - broken though we all are.

Anyway, my point is that generalizing and expecting bad things isolates you and shuts you away from many possible blessings.
Hugs,
Dema
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