Christianity Oasis Forum

[Rabinantha]

So... this is the first time I've ever done anything like this. I've never used a forum for anything before, and honestly I'm not sure how well it's going to work. But I know that if I don't give it a chance, I'll always wonder what would've happened. And at this point in my life I know that I definitely need some help, and if someone on here is willing to talk to me about some things, I think I might get the healing I need.

I'm not really sure exactly what to write for my first journal entry. I generally try to hide my bad feelings but if I did that here, well, it wouldn't help me in any way. So I'm just going to open up and write how I am truly feeling.

I feel alone. I feel abandoned. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I do the same things everyday and it's just so mundane. I don't go anywhere, I don't really do anything. I'm surrounded by people but I am alone. I know God is with me but when there's no one around to remind me of that the other voices just get too loud and I can't hear anything else. It hurts because I don't want to live my life like this and I don't have anybody to help me.. and I don't think I can do it on my own. 2 years ago my husband and I found an amazing church. We were there every service, totally committed, serving in several areas of ministry. I really believed the people there were family. 6 months ago there was a division and the pastor left. Not just, left but moved away. He took about a third of the church with him and I quickly realized that the people whom I thought where my family didn't even care about me. It was like losing my parents all over again. After the split things got bad. A new pastor came in and started making trouble and those who stayed the first time, split again even worse. Now I don't have a home to worship in. I don't have a church family . I'm alone and I need help and I don't know where to turn and I don't know how to get out of this funk. God is no longer number one priority in our family's life and that devastates me. But I don't even know how to begin to heal it. I know that we need to find a new home, a new church, but I'm hurting so much that the thought of going to a new church sends me into a panic attack. I don't know when I'll be able to trust people again.

I need someone to remind me (daily if needed) that God is with me. I need someone that will listen, someone that wont' judge me, someone to help me learn to forgive so I can finally heal. The Bible says to seek wise counsel but how can I do that when I don't have anyone to talk to?

So that's why I'm here...

[Mackenaw]

Hello Rabinantha

God bless you this day, and welcome to Christianity Oasis.

I'm glad that you have begun the 14 Day CCCC Study. It is truly a wonderful study, and one that I have read numerous times. Each Stepping Stone (daily read) is full of scriptures -- God's Word...The Truth, and The Truth shall set you free.

I hope you will return and embrace the study fully. If you have any questions about the study, I hope you will post them and I (and others) will try to answer them, God willing.

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. God's will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[Rabinantha]

Thank you, Sister Mack. When I found this place I read through the first step with tears streaming down my face because every word of it was exactly what I needed to hear. I am really good at starting something strong and never finishing it but I want to follow through with this. I NEED to follow through with this. And I am believing that I will this time, and that I will finally find healing. I know it's a long process, and I'm willing to go through it because if I don't, I'm just hurting myself more. On to step 2!