Christianity Oasis Forum

[LeeAnn]

We have a little girl who we adopted named Kylie. She has been with us from the age of 13 months and she is now 11 years old. From the time she was 4 she has been diagnosed as having PDD which is a form of Autism, Oppositional Defiant, Attachment Disorder ADHD. She has been in and out of the Hospital and Care Centers and every time it has been a horrible experience for her and us. This last time she was at school this last May when she had a rage which put her in the Hospital / Care Center until July. They changed her medicine and she is a different little girl now, but we still see a lot of Brain Disorganization.

She is on a Developmental Disability Program which has wanted us to place her in a Group Home where it is a lot more structured. My Husband and I have gone back and forth for so long not knowing what to do. We do have some services that come in the home to help but it has been just a band aid. I know these places are not allowed to show a lot of love and nurturing and of course they would not raise her up in the Lord. Even though we would have been able to bring her home on the weekends it still did not seem to be the right thing to do.

So her I am struggling with trying to set up our home to be more structured. It has been like turning our world upside down in order to make her world right side up. If we had known all her difficulties before we adopted would we have done it? YES YES YES. But I do grieve the loss of the life I had thought we would have. we have been married 39 years and this has played havoc on our marriage these last few years. I deal with her all day long and towards the end of the day I am so tired and have lost a lot of patients with her and then her Daddy come home and wonders why I am so stressed out. He takes a passive roll in her life and I am the one who deals with the aggressive behaviors. Again I am so tired and don't even know who I am anymore. I am ashamed to say that there is a part of me that wanted her to go to the Care Center. I just don't know what to pray for anymore. I have prayed for peace, patience, joy, hope and forgiveness, selfcontrol.

I guess I am wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar and what have they done to get through it all

[redbandit]

I will be praying for you, your husband and daughter. I can only imagine how difficult this decision must be

[Mackenaw]

Hello LeeAnn

God bless you this day, and welcome to Christianity Oasis. I'm glad The Lord led you here.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Pretty much sums it up, doesn't it. We tire...our bodies tire, our minds tire, and our emotions start getting the best of us. (((((((Hugs))))))) I wish I could sit down with you, serve you some coffee or tea and hold your hand while you weep, but alas, I cannot, but what I can and will do is lift you and your family up in prayers to our Lord in the name of Jesus. May God's blessed will be known to you, and done.

LeeAnn, I encourage you to start reading a 14 Day study -- it's a counseling study, based on The Word of God and inspired by The Holy Spirit. It has helped hundreds of overwhelmed souls, myself included, to grow in our relationship with The Lord and apply His blessed Word to our every circumstance. Here is the link to the study: COOL Confidential Christian Counseling (CCCC) Study. http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm

I, personally, do not have experience in dealing with those diagnosed with autism, but, I do know there are members here that have and I hope they will read your post(s) soon and respond. I do care LeeAnn, and I am so glad to have the opportunity to get to know you, and it is a privilege to pray to our Lord on your behalf.

LeeAnn, as you know, there is a real and sweet hope in Christ, so you keep hope alive within. Please continue dropping by and allow us to encourage you, and that combined with you seeking The Lord, you will find Him and the rest and renewal that The Lord has for you.

God bless and keep you, LeeAnn.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[Timothy]

Hi LeeAnn,

Welcome to Christianity Oasis

My son known as, Keeper Of The Light, here on Christianity Oasis has been diagnosed with what you write about.
He also has a Cerebral Palsy diagnoses. Me and the Mrs. know first had exactly what you are going thru, including
the marital issues this brings up.

Parenting a child with special needs takes a different set of parenting skills that can be learned and implemented.
We spent *years* dealing with the problems you mentioned and more. My son is now fifteen years old. Last school
year he received the Student of the Year award for his improved behavior and for improved academics. There are strategies that work. It does take time and patience and learning new parenting skills. There is hope! \o/

The First and Most Important thing to do is for you and your husband to pray together over your concerns.
Even if you have different approaches, your unity in Christ will open doors!

Second, this will be a process for all involved. There will be tuff moments, but you have to stay on target.
Clear skies come after a storm. No one post can offer a permanent fix for your needs. It will require sharing
and working together over time. My wife and I are willing to go thru this with you, if you want.

Third thought is to find a support group near you. The physical touch of hugging one who has gone thru this
before and hugging those who are going thru it now has a healing effect. The information a support group
can offer can give you direction and direct support in a variety of ways. Search them on your computer.

I'll follow up with a PM to you.

I like Mackenaw's suggestion for the COOL Confidential Christian Counseling (CCCC) Study.
LeeAnn, we join redbandit and Mackenaw and the others who read your posts and pray in their way.
Please continue to post here as you feel lead.

God bless you and your family,
Timothy