Christianity Oasis Forum

[broken_memories]

This lesson is what i really needed tonight. i have been having a really hard time today and i was debating what i should do on many matters. yea some are still there but the ones to cause the greatest harm are decided. i will not go through with them. as i have stated in one of the other stepping stones i went to a christian treatment center last year for 7 months. while i was there i learned about renewing the mind. i realize that i have slipped alot since i left there. i stopped replacing the lies with truth and i have completely sunk back into what the world is telling me. apparentely that is so not what God wants me to believe because its a lie that i am being told. i am going to make a miracle grow chart as soon as i complete this stepping stone journal entry. i am excited about doing it but a little appriehensive too. why apprehensive? well its a change ... out of what i am used to. then again my whole life has turned upside down... nothing is normal anymore. well looking at the stepping stone lesson from top to bottom the first thing i realize is what i hear goes to my mind/soul and then my emotions/spirit react to what i hear and then my body/flesh responds. makes me think of how i was feeling earlier... my mind/soul was sitting here debating to self harm so my emotions/spirit are anxious and wanting it and my body/flesh is sitting here edgy and tensed waiting for the 'release' i will get from it. well as i know and im sure anyone reading this ... that is not going to help any. so when i hear a lie it enters into my soul and my spirit reacts and my flesh responds. this goes both ways with lies and truths. thats pretty neat. looks like to me that i need to start replacing alot of lies with tons of truth. one that keeps reoccuring to me is.... i am ugly... but i know that in song of solomon somewhere it says... you are all together beautiful my darling there is no flaw in you. that keeps coming up .... i guess God really wants me to understand i am perfect the very way i am. Now the miracle project. im not sure what all things i am going to include in mine yet but i am going to work on it as soon as i finish this. i believe that it will be good for me. expecially to set a schedule and keep on a plan. i have wayyyyy too much time on my hands and not much of it is spent with God. that sorta makes me sad that i push God off to the side like that. He wants to help me and i tell him no. I am not a very good person. i know God has better plans for me and i am actually sort of excited to see what they are but i know none of them will come to unfold as i continue the path i am on now. anyways, i really liked some of the examples displayed for the chart. might even add a few of those to mine. i sort of feel compelled to type a prayer out....

Father God, I come before you now Lord. I know I have made a mess of myself. I have done what I have wanted for so long. You gave me freedom once. I tasted it and in a way I liked it alot but I ran from it back to my old ways because that was all I knew. God, I am very scared right now for where I am in my life. I feel like I have no one to turn to. I know you are there Lord but I really need someone physically to just wrap me in a hug and tell me.... its ok to feel the way you do, just hang on and it will get better. Lean on God and stop fighting by yourself. .... Ok that may sound really corny God but I really dont care. I have been thinking so much lately of many things I shouldnt. self harm, suicide, starvation, purging... the list goes on and on. God you know every intimate detail of my life, struggles, hurts, victories, everything. Abba, touch me and heal me. Im tired of running. I cant do this alone. Not anymore. I give up. Help me Father God.
AMEN

[Jamie808]

Keep truckin sister. You're doin great.
I'm so grateful when I read your heartfelt posts. Today I am praying for Divine Appointments for you. I am praying that God will bring a person, a group or someone with "skin on" that you can SAFELY share your journey with. God knows if and when that is appropriate. I have to watch my thinking and keep in contact with others as part of my recovery.

I'm praying for you and so excited to see you making the true courageous steps to a new life.

God Bless
Jamie

[Mackenaw]

Hello Brokenmemories (((hugs)))

God bless you! God is so very Good, and He does love you so very much. Awwwwwwwwww, how sweet is that? The Sweetest, I tell ya, SWEET, SWEET Jesus \o/ \o/ \o/

Brokenmemories, Hope is a good thing, and it seems God has rained HOPE down upon you in abundance. Thank You Lord!

Prayers continue to rise to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you, Brokenmemories.
Love,
Mack

[Mackenaw]

Hello Brokenmemories (((hugs)))

I just wanted to stop by and encourage you to continue reading the 14 Day CCCC study. Remember, God is within you, and He has lots of things to share with you, and one of the ways He shares is through His Word, and the study is full of His Word.

Jesus loves you!

Prayers continue to rise to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. God's will be done.

God bless and keep you, Brokenmemories.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Mack