Christianity Oasis Forum

[FindingMyVoice]

Hello Journal:

I resigned from my church of 11 years because of some abusive situations. I prolonged this process hoping for change and reconciliation. However, I was commanded to remove my items from the church and turn in my keys. I emailed my letter of resignation and withdrew my membership. It was very simple and I thanked them for the opportunities to serve. Well, the next morning, I received an email from the pastor stating that I had been removed from my position and my membership had been removed and listed several untruths as to why this action occurred. He further stated that he was going to go before the leaders and the church with these untruths. I was mortified and I am so hurt that the pastor would spread such lies to cover himself. I am angry and hurt. I feel abandoned by my friends and I don't know where to turn. I cant understand why people would condone such behavior and make excuses for it. Wrong is wrong. I am so saddened in my heart and just want to run away and escape. I am so tempted to turn to ungodly things. I am so sorry that I thought these horrible thoughts toward the Lord who has been so kind to me. I wanted to escape to pornography. I am so sorry for my actions. I just want to run away and never come back. I laid my life down for that church. I kept it open when the pastor abandoned it. My heart is racing and I feel so alone. More alone than I ever have...and I don't know what to do.

[dema]

I'm sorry for your hurt. People inherently want control. You ran things before the pastor. He may view you as a threat to his control. If you have resigned, then I don't know what profit there is in him telling anything to anybody - true or untrue. He seems like he is being very petty and small. What cause is there after it is over? It will reflect badly on him to be gossiping. And when there is no profit possible, I feel it is gossip.

I'm surprised that as a woman you would want to escape into pornography. That actually rather surprises me. However, the underlying desire I think is to use sex as a drug. And certainly sex can be used as a drug. It is less harmful to your body - but it does have many of the issues of other addictions. Short term escape that way can lead to longer term escape.

I personally believe that the worst thing about sin in general is that it separates us from God. I believe in the philosophy of 2 minutes of guilt and an hour of contemplation for most sins - and then move on. If you don't move on - you stay separated from God. The first and foremost thing is to stay connected to God.

I hope this helps. Feel free to write me if you need to talk. I know this hurts. It was your family. And now you are estranged. That is very painful. But this may be God calling you on to something else. And for sure you can claim Romans 8:28,

[dema]

I skipped mentioning asking for forgiveness. Ask for forgiveness, know that God will forgive you over and over, and then move on. Hugs.

[mlg]

Hello FindingmyVoice My heart breaks to hear that you have been hurt in the church. This happens a lot when people forget their First Love....Jesus....I am currently going through some stuff at my own church...and I've seen the church splitting recently and I pray and pray that God will restore the love there. For you though...I want you to know that God loves you and He has not left you...despite what the people in this church are doing to you. God wants you to get up and dust yourself off and get back to living fully for Him. He wants you to keep reaching out to the lost souls and serving Him...He wants you to deny Satan the victory in this tribulation...and find the glory for Him in this. Don't give up on God...He has a new plan for you...and He hasn't given up on you. Forgive those who have offended you and are persecuting you...and get back to making God #1 in your life.

Praying for you.

Take care

[wantHistouch]

Hey FindingmyVoice - I am sorry for what you are going through - but stay strong. I am not the right person to say this because I am person struggling with failures. And I want to stop teaching others but not myself. Butanyway it is really sad that your church abondoned you without any proof. But what you have I think you need to worry about is if it has some facts - if it has then confess to the Lord and repent. If it doesn't have any facts though then you have nothing to worry about. Stay on the path of the Lord - forgiving your church family and praying for them. Forgiving them also will give you peace.
I can relate to you because when I feel pressure or I am going through tough times I think of running away - the past weeks I was thinking of going abroad to work. And when i can't I express my anger, frustration by going online to pornographic websites. And then I get frustrated more. Because after I do that I am not able to speak to the Lord - I feel cold inside. I have decided to kneel down to the Lord anytime I feel pressure because He should be the one I express my frustration and fear. Because he is my father he listens but pornography is the devils trap to put me in more troubles and to make me downspirited. I hope this helps. And please be strong as the bible says God won't forget what you did to the little ones and keep helping the little ones. Stay Blessed

[JulieAnn]

Dear one,

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

Yes, even in the midst of this situation, He was and is still at work for the good of all who love Him. Offenses WILL come to all of us, and our response to those offenses - real or imagined- are of equal importance to God. I've been through many hurts, disapointments and unjust treatment over the years, and usually at the hand of another believer, which is what makes it hurt so badly. We expect it from unbelievers, but not from our brothers and sisters in Christ. Nevertheless, I'll repeat it again, 'how we respond is of equal importance to God.' God may not have caused what happend but He permitted it. We can learn much through times like these. I have found that I learn more about myself and God's Lordship in my life during times of false accusations, persecutions, misunderstandings, than any other time. Definately a time of 'fruit-testing'. Years ago, I heard a Prophet say, "During times of conflict and jealousy, the first to lay down and die, wins." In other words, die to yourself (flesh) in this situation. Resist the temptation to strike back, defend yourself, prove a point, or cause division. Take it to the Cross every time you face it, which for now will feel like 24/7. Repent where ever needed. Pray for the one who has hurt you. It is the only and best thing to do for yourself and all involved. God will heal your heart, and He will give you understanding and teach you many things during this time. Submit yourself to Him.

As as side note let me add, the Pastor of this church is the authority in that congregation. When we attend and become members of a church, we are basically saying 'yes' and submitting to their doctrine and way of doing things. We may not like everything that takes place or is taught, but we are there by choice. It is his vision and his church/congregation. Hopefully, a pastor leads with integrity and sound doctrine. But if not, then we face the decision of staying or leaving. But to stay at a church thinking we are going to change doctrine or change any percieved lack of integrity or abuse is wrong on our part. The pastor of any church must and will answer to God for all things. We pray for them, sumbit and support the vision of the church (if we agree, of course), and leave the rest in God's hands. If any pastor is teaching wrong doctrine or is corrupt, God will deal with them. We must pray for them that God has mercy on them, brings them to repentance and changes their heart, but I don't advise staying at a church were there is false doctrine, corruptness or abuse.

Most of us have been through something similar to yours, and it is painful, but God will bring you through.

Praying for Him to heal your heart, fill you with His peace and guide you with His wisdom.

JulieAnn