Christianity Oasis Forum

[Oufan0001]

My husband and I have been together for about 7 years. It seems that we have had nothing but hard times for most of those years. Loss of jobs, financial difficulties, fertility issues, and health issues. When we first started dating he told me that as a llittle boy, he was sexually abused by someone in his church. Of course he was never "ok" with it, but he never acted out and really never talked about it again, and I believed that he had gotten help many years ago with this. Recently he has been having health issues, and they thought that he might have pancreatic cancer. He lost a lot of weight, and just really sick. During this time of being sick, he hasn't worked. Before he got sick he started his own company and we were finally to the place where we could get health insurance again, then this happened. The tests at first came back inconclusive, so they had to send it to another lab, then they came back as not cancer! I thought, praise God, now we can get him well and move on with our lives. In the 3 weeks since we got the good test results news, he has changed. He has gotten so angry. Angry at God, angry at the abuser from his childhood, angry at everything. He is spiraling out of control. He will get so angry that he leaves for hours...he has even stayed out all night. He says he's driving and sitting in his truck...but I don't know. It changes from day to day. I have caught him in lies recently and they just seem to be getting more abundant. I just am lost. He somehow heard at the beginning of this year that the abuser had moved back to his hometown. Im not sure if this is one of the things that have set him off, but he keeps talking that if he beats him up he will feel better...that maybe a little justice will be served. He's not close with his parents because his mom was a pill popper, and his dad was too busy trying to hide it from the church and small town to pay attention to their children. When he told them about his abuse after it happened, they brushed it under the rug, and of course, hid it from the church and town. So of course he's very angry with his parents and said that he wrote them a letter about it all and told them of the damage that they caused by ignoring it. I don't know where the end in all this is.

I have tried and tried to get him to go to talk to a counselor, tried to get him to start going back to church with me. By his actions, and his words and his anger and his dissapearing acts, I'm not sure what to believe anymore. When I ask him, he get mad and leaves again. I don't know if I trust him anymore and I am scared that he's going to do something destructive...like actually beat this guy up, or do drugs. I think I'm actually a little scared to trust him now, cause I don't want to be a fool.

I have somehow found a little peace from God, but I am at my wits end though. I am not going to let him bring me down with him. After everything, this has wrecked our marriage. I am scared, worried, dissapointed, untrusting and MAD at him. I just don't know what to do.

[Timothy]

Have been praying for you and your husband in all areas you've mentioned.
I've read dema's reponse in another forum. I pray you will follow up on her shareing.

I pray your husband gets to know the piece of our Lord.

[redbandit]

I will be praying for you and your husband!

[ChildofPeace]

My prayers go out for the both of you.