Christianity Oasis Forum

[inneed]

I need help. My husband of 23 years is a sex addict. He has been addicted to porn of an on for years and we have had many fights and struggles. I have believed God for deliverance and conviction but I just found out he has been talking to a woman online for three weeks. He was initially sorry but turned to telling me we don't have anything in common and he is not sure if he believes in God. Neither of these things are true. He has seen many miracles over the years and was filled with the Holy Spirit at one time. I know he knows. Right now he has gone away for awhile to figure things out. I just don't know what to do. Part of me feels like I may be better off if he decides to end it but I love him and I made a commitment before the Lord. I also worry about our children. I don't want them to be hurt by a divorce. This is breaking my heart and although I know God is faithful I am scared.

[mlg]

Welcome inneed to the Oasis. I want to begin by saying there are many here who are willing to listen and lend you support during this time. You are right God is true to each of us, he won't leave us nor forsake us. That being said, your husband is struggling, and is searching for answers. His answers can only come from God, but if he refuses to seek the Lord in this matter, then you need to pray. Prayer is what your husband needs and I'm lifting you both up. Obviously you two have been together about 23 years, and that is a lifetime of ups and downs, but God has a reason for everything and a plan for all. May you and your husband find God's will and follow his plan. Maybe God is using this time for your husband to be away and seek answers, as a way of bringing your husband back in HIS LIGHT. It's a dark walk without the LIGHT of the Father. I pray you and your husband can find peace and begin walking anew on the Path of LIGHT.

Come into chat sometime, we would love to meet you.

Take care and God Bless

[inneed]

Thank you for your prayers. That's what I really need. I need everyone to pray for him and me. As fa as the chat I don't know much about chat rooms and frankly I don't know how to get there. Sounds silly doesn't it.

[splash]

Dear Ineed,

I'm so glad that you're here. If you'd like to join us in chat, you get there by clicking on Chat Rooms (That's one of the options in the COOL Member Feature Links box at the top of the Forums Index page). I feel like you'll be blessed with the opportunity to talk to other Christians there and find that you aren't alone in your daily struggles.

Your story is particularly heartbreaking for me because I have been in the position of the "other woman". Although I am married to a wonderful Christian man, I got caught up in the trap of cybersex for several years and felt like I couldn't escape. As far as I know I've never spoken with your husband but I feel I should ask you to please forgive me. I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive your husband and the woman he's talking to because that will be necessary for your healing and for your marriage to grow again.

I really believe my husband's prayers and his never-ending love brought me through. He never gave up on me even when I was so self-centered I couldn't see past my computer to him. I know my teenagers also have suffered from my selfishness because I wasn't always available for them. If you want to save your marriage that is what you'll have to do, continue to pray for him and pour out your love for him. Realize that this is a spiritual battle and your husband is not the true enemy.

Love ya,

Splash

[inneed]

Thank you to all of you. I have so many emotions but I am believing in God and he will let me know the right thing to do. I believe he will let me know when to walk and when to stand. He has always let me know when things were wrong and I have to believe he will let me know what is right in this situation. I pray for renewal and deliverance. God honors the marriage covenant and until the Lord says enough I will do what I am supposed to. I must obey him and in the same I am willing to end it if he says so too. Keep praying for us we need it. I am praying that Jesus will convict his heart and remove the blinders the enemy has placed on his eyes. Therefore he will be able to repent and have communion with God. That is the real problem.

Thank you for your prays I will be praying for all of you!

[inneed]

Just wanted to update everyone. We have decided to try to work things out. We start counseling saturday. I hope it helps. I am struggling with how to trust him and really need your prays. I am trying to do what God wants me to do. Just pray for us.

[mlg]

Inneed, thank God for the good news, and that is that you two are going to work together to make a new start in your life. Now, it's time to find a way to let go of the past, as Jesus does when He shed His blood for our pasts. I'm praying for you two, and I know God is right there with you both.

Take care and God Bless

[inneed]

Thank you. We need your prayers. I need your prayers. I know I am doing what God wants me to do but the devil puts thoughts in my mind I fight everyday. I love him and I am praying for his true salvation and deliverance daily. Please help me pray.

[inneed]

We have been doing really good. Things have been kind of in the honeymoon stage I guess. We have been spending a lot of time together and have done a lot of talking. We have been to counseling twice. Right now we are seeing the counselor separately. I think that's good because he can talk about the things he doesn't want to hurt me with. Today he said something that hurt a little. Not really hurt but caused me to feel a little insecure. He said he thought he needed a little time alone. Just a few hours to think. Of course I am afraid he wants that time to look at porn.

I don't want to think that. I have been praying really hard rebuking that spirt of lust and fornication. I have been praying for his true salvation and deliverance. I feel God has told me to step out of the way and quiet trying to control things but I really don't want to get hurt again. That's what I do when I get scared. I try to control my own circumstances and shut down my feelings. I can't do that this time because I want what I have been praying for and when I control It doesn't give God the room to work. The bottom line is it is a trust issue and I need to trust God and let it go.

Of course my husband needs time alone it is when we are alone that God deals with us. I need to step back and not try to control the situation. I have only been putting band-aids on this situation for years and this time I want the true healing no matter what.

I asked God to speak to me the other day and tell me is I was in his will on this subject. When I got to work someone gave me a bracelet for christmas and on it was the words "I will trust and not be afraid". I think that is what I need to do. My trust is in God not my husband. God has heard my prayers. The bible says what ever we bind on earth shall be bond in heaven. I bind the spirit of fear, confusion, lust, fornication, suicide, and drug abuse that have been coming against my husband. I also bind the spirit of fear and confusion that is attacking my mind. I pray for his true salvation and deliverance. In Jesus name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There it is done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[splash]

Dear inNeed,

I'm praying that your husband will also pray to bind those spirits and seek the Holy Spirit's refilling. I'm so glad that you've been talking to each other a lot and that God is restoring your marriage. It is worth the trouble!

Keep us posted, please!

Love ya,

Splash

[myshepherd]

Hey inneed, I read your post and was moved very much by howincredibly familiar it all sounded.Part of it ,I go through with my wife and kids,part of it was me being the addict and talking to women online.
I dont have many answers or much advice as i am looking for these things as well. BUT... I thought it might ease you to know i lift you up to God in prayer...
Sorry I can't offer more but,I felt led to tell you and I know that many others here have lifted you in prayer.
Keep your eye on God,He IS dealing with it!!

your friend and brother
mySheperd

[inneed]

Thank You for your support and prayers. I will be praying for all of you! JC it is not easy hanging in there. The trust has been broken and fight the devil whispering in my ear all the time but I pray and rebuke the spirit of confussion and fear constantly. I am totally trusting in God. My trust is not in my husband but in something much greater who loves me and will protect me always. I believe he will fix this. I have been rebuking and binding many spirits (fornication, lust, suicide, drug and alcohol, confussion and fear) for my husband 2 and 3 times a day. I have been praying for Jesus to take the blinders off his eyes and reveal the truth to him. I've been praying that Jesus will show him somehow (send someone to him or even as extreme as what happened to Paul). I have been praying this strongly because I love him very much and I am not willing to allow the devil to have my husband or my family. I will hang in there until God tells me to go. As I pray for my husband the anger and pain leaves and is replaced with compassion and love. Many things have changed in the last two weeks (he is seeing a christian counselor and is going to seek medical attention for depression). I am excited to see what God has in store for us. I know this is really a battle for his soul and I am just praying and praying and praying. I will fight for him.

JC I will pray for the restoration of your family as well! Pray for the hurt, anger, fear, and disappointment to be removed. These feelings, I have recently found out, separate us from the ones we love but more importantly separate us from God. Pray that God will replace them with love, peace and a sound mind. Pray for her healing because this addiction doesn't just affect those who are doing it but severly hurts those that love the addict.

Take care and keep me updated both of you