Christianity Oasis Forum

[popples]

Wednesday 28/3/2012 about 11am
On the 17th of March 2012 God came to me......I was given a second chance.....those of you that know me know I was given the first chance when I came to Oasis....those that dont please read some of my old threads so you understand my story my journey through the next few weeks/months or how ever long this is gonna take. Im reading or is it studying (SECOND CHANCE) unless you read who I was before you wont understand the person I am now or the person Im going to become....

You have no place here satan in my life or in the life of those that i LOVE,

Ive never been selfish and have always worried about everyone else in my life, but what I love about God is "he said to me" "Gwen how can you save others when you are not saved" wow then I took a good look at my own heart and reallised it was so broken.

As I write this journey with God those of you that have been here pls feel free to guide me because I have never read any part of the Bible and I want to be careful it is the spirit leading me here not my flesh. Pls be mindful as some days may be harder than others pls be gentle on those days.
I dont know if this is the right time to put this scripture in but after I realized I was so broken I actually didnt feel lonely I felt I wanted that feeling I felt at Oasis to be with me always, so I borrowed a bible from the hospital room and started reading this was the first thing i READ
God is so amazing In Mathew it states "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theres is the kingdom of God"

ok thats it for now see you later...God Bless

Its stll the same day and Im gonna go back and date this and the time I think because thats important so you then can answer a question I have.!!!
Wednesday 28/03/2012 about 7pmI have never stuck to anything in my life nothing ever and just a few hours ago the thought came to my mind again about drugs after everything I have been through again I searched, what I mean by that is yes I went looking in my small town for that easy fix. Why did I do that???
I thought I said
You have no placeo place here satan in my life or in the life of those that i LOVE.
The important thing is that I didnt get anything, but now Im here and typing this Im feeling really scared because if I did then I doubt I would be back to Oasis, and not just that ....gosh how do you get rid of the thoughts Ive tried reading the Bible, I really dont want to be that person I was before the 17th. Anyway right now Im gonna go pray, really anything is worth a try.
oh can someone just tell me am i writing this in the right place and when i keep adding should i use the same box or a new one.????
..........................................................................................................................................
Its Thursday 630am
I woke just then and slumped to the side of the bed to see if anyone had replied to my post. After reading them I SAT UP. wow no that a big WOW
The Holly Spirit is fastastic............
Im feeling great today especially now that I read the replies.
Thats right I can concor anything with God.
My prayer today....Father without you I am nothing, thankyou for giving me this chance to grow with such blessed ppl and more than aanything with you. God you are the only father I know pls guide me throughout this day that with you I may not be tempted, that I can stand tall Lord, I owe my life to you, Lord I am grateful to be alive. In your name AMEN.
I have meds to do now but will take any advice willing so after my breaky I will look at THE SPIRIT OF TRUTH study.
see ya back here soon.

its same day Thurs about 2pm
I just read my prayer I said this mornin....guess what GOD DOES ANSWER PRAYERS
today I have been so at peace with myself.
I dont know if this has anything to do with anything but I need to write what is on my heart mostly its about being honest with myself. I am here because I have never had to be accountable to anyone....mmmm I hope Im saying this how Im feeling it. Am I right in saying wake up Gwen its time to be accountable for what I have done what I am doing and what I will do????

Thursday again 6pm
Ive decided each new part I write I will just add a post in stead of editing but I want to remind myself that before I do I must reread each post I have previously writen just so I dont loose sight of why I started this....
So Gwen why did you start this???

Its been about an hour since I asked this question and came back and forth to type but I guess if I wanna be honest with myself, no kidding around I NEED god in my life, I WANT a relationship with him, you know for me like I said earlier Ive never been able to stick with anything well thats anyone either.
Mum- I havnt spoke to her in months
Dad- Thats probally been some years well it has
Sister/Brothers- Same months.
Friends- Yes I do the same send them away

I really want this, I really want God, I know how lonley I have been, Isnt that amazing. How I can say Ive been so lonely after 3 children, 17 foster children and always so many friends, a husband but yet I was and have been so alone. I was in the mormon church when I was 9 but that relationship was different than what i FEEL now with God. So that gives me the oportunity to say about what is happening inside me...I cant really say its in my heart because its like every part of me. Its really deep, its not sad, it brings tears to my eyes, yes it does make me cry, it doesnt hurt, its how Im doing all this (I THINK) now Im whispering this question just incase Im wrong..."Is this the spirit?"

Those of you that were just in chat for the past wow nearly 2 hours...what can I say???? God my prayer how do I give thanks to you, how do I show how grateful I am, there are no words I just learnt so much about you Lord no thats not even explaining it. I didnt just learn about you but I felt you. I am so over welmed I need to rest because no matter whtA what I say it wont even get close.
goodnight goodnight (I gotta stop pinching myself)
...............................................................................................................................................
fridayIts been ages been really busy today with the kids...Karen 22/Johnny 20 and Cloey 18 Im very tired, but dont wanna loose sight of why Im here so Im just gonna say a quick few things. Today when I had about an hour to myself a friend turned up he begged me to go score for him which means I could have had somthing too, and yesterday I forgot to mention one person I use to get drugs from said he would have some really nice stuff today, so yesterday I said "I dont do that anymore but you know I thought of it often today, and even though I said to this guy today I dont do that anymore I allso lied and said look mate there is nothing around....he pleaded with me for awhile but I kept saying no, even though deep down I really wanted too. He left and I just got busy with cooking.

Does it mean Im a lier now, and the thoughts gee how am I gonna deal with them????
.........................................................................................................................................
SATURDAY 31/08/2012 (14 DAYS CLEAN)

When I just logged on I reallised eveyday I come here the Lord says "Welcome home" thats so touching I hadnt realised that before.
I need to say thankyou to those that read and to those that reply to my daily jornal because I know without a doubt its from God, honestly you are all such a blessing.

I found out the guy I told the white lie to yesterday has been clean for 3months, Praise God I had no part in him returning to Satan.

Christunderconstruction.... thankyou

Its 7am

Lord thankyou for my new friends thankyou that I am breathing, oh thankyou for EVERYTHING you give me.
Lord I know now that without you I cannot live
Lord stay with me today as you do may I be mindful of you throughout today as I face anything that comes my way.
I love yopu with all my heart.
Praise you Lord
AMEN

Same day 3pm
Just when you think you got everything under control somthing happens....I got a call about 8am this morning, someone I have grown to love and care for over the past 9 years died in his sleep he was 36years old. Bruce like me struggled with drugs day in day out he searched, Bruce used for alot longer period and one of his many attempts was just two weeks ago. We were in hospital together and my kids all called him Uncle. I was sad very sad and normally sad = drugs.
Instantly I smiled my daughter was sitting on the other couch and asked me what Im smiling about, (My kids are shocked at this person I have become) I said you know God spared me that could have been me. I just knew in my heart guilt was of satan and I cant afford to carry that right now, I believe God gave me that chance in hospital with Bruce and I did use it because I told him I was clean and if he needed help I can give him a few numbers......not long after that my daughter and husband were having a stand off with each other in the back yard and it was so funny I hadnt laughed to myself in such a long time because this is the daddys little 18year that cant do anything wrong and in her eyes nor can her dad, see because the old me would fix the problems so neither would be upset but I let them both learn the truth today by themselves so see God was here again with my family.

Then the next call came...THE DEALER
Ive known him for about 20years and our friendship is more than just drugs....but without lying to myself he does trigger me. We talked about Bruce, most of the convo, and I sniffed a few times cos I have been a bit sniffly over the past two weeks.....he asked me why I was doing it???? (see its one of the symtoms your hanging like need a FIX= drugs)
I said Im not sure, maybe getting the flu, had it a few weeks I said which is true, he said your not hanging are you??? I said definitly not. The call was ok and I finshed it with" I am proud of myself."

same day 8pm

I dont know what this is about or why Im putting it here but maybe I will understand later....
Praise God he has given you and me this site to come too, when we dont know somthing or just want advice.
I have to say this.....First God loves you. Second the answers I recieve from here (Oasis) is defenitly guided by the Holly Spirit and thirdly Jesus gave us the chance to change because he died for us.

I said in a prayer before I wrote this well God, why am I faceing this repetitive stuff everyday....Ive done this before, Ive too done the same study about you its all seeming the same "He said my child you forgot the FULLSTOP in the first study" "the COMMA" in the second "and the QUESTION MARK in the third"


I pray hon you understand me because this is what just came to my heart after reading what you asked...
..................................................................................................................................................
SUNDAY 1 APRIL 2012

Its 830am I Went to church she stood and bared her testimony and I felt mad inside Ive known her since I was 9, she use to teach sunday school, why didnt she come and save me, I sobbed, didnt wanna be there so I left a littlr after.

Its 11pm so today is just about over and oh what a day, I dont think I have ever had so much happen in one day. (yes you have but remember you were on another planet so you didnt notice it) thats so true.
Rocks were thrown every which way and it started at church.

Im sorry though I cant type tonight because one of the other things Ive changed is my sleeping habbit, see when I was on drugs I would stay up so late I never went to bed before midnight my night was more like day, since I was given a second chance I have been in bed BEFORE 10 so see I am trying so hard to not go back to old habbits.

Goodnight
...................................................................................................................................................


Monday 2/April 530am

I dont think I really wanna talk about yesterday alot of childhood things were bougt up, is that the right way to deal with it or is that the way I use to deal with it??? please someone guide me here, all I know is after reading the replies I did last night I had a peaceful sleep. Praise God

Lord I pray your presence be with me today, I am so grateful for this person I didnt know was me, Lord I owe you my life you have blessed me everyday with new things, I am experiencing only a tiny amount of what Jesus went through, thankyou for these triles to make me a better person, but a bigger praise for carrying me through them.
Thankyou for Oasis
Only in your name Jesus
Amen

Same Day 8am
I guess the first thing is I had changed my title (Do I have a right to be angrey at her?) I changed it to (Renew Mind)
I spoke to a friend on facebook earlier and she was so angrey at a friend of ours from somthing that happened last night.

Same day 10pm
I messed up I dont know why, sigh what the heck...why Im so stupid anyway dont feel like talking.

popples Posts: 48Location: narroginMarital Status: Married
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Tuesday 3/4

Lord I have nowhere to go but you. It was day 16 and today I used. (that was the hardest thing to say)

Same Day 7am
I have to be honest when I scored last night I scored ah eextra one for this morning. As I was getting everything ready I noticed (mynameissimon) was in chat. So I thought I would join him. I pm him and told about yesterday, just missed out the part about getting the extra one.

Simon was guideing me with some news from God, that he still loved me even though I had fallen, which has always been hard for me to belive, well at this stage I was just preparing the stuff I scored and lent over and bumped the spoon...OH NO... The stuff on the spoon is very fine powder and just gone not on the spoon anymore.

I just have to tell you about my bedroom. Its always clean and tidy. I have painted floorboards and usually they are so clean and dust free. I have a table that is polished wood allso and never has a cover on it because the wood is beautiful enough but two days ago I covered the table with a woolen rug I made ages ago.

I looked on the floor and all I could see were bits of dirt and hair, I franticly lifted the rug, it had gone, serious GONE GONE GONE.

It was a very fast reminder that I had lost track of why I am here and that My Father in Heaven is so real, I felt the Holly Spirit talking to me through Simon.

Praise God that I can start my day 1 again clean, Lord I only have you to thank , Lord I ask you to renew my mind as I start this day.
In your name Jesus
AMEN
.............................................................................................................................................
WEDNESDAY 10.54am 4/4/2012

Do you remember I said I didnt want to loose sight of why I was here? Well I just read simons reply and realized I had, yesterday I didnt even come and write which means I didnt even come to God all day.

Everyday we have to reallise how easy it is to loose sight of GODS plan, I guess the light doesnt come to us we have to open doors (the bible) pull back the curtains (pray).

The old me would be sulking oh poor me....but the new me needs to move on.

YOU HAVE NO PLACE HERE SATAN IN MY LIFE OR IN THE LIFE OF THOSE THAT I LOVE

Lord yesterday you spared all my children, the first time the 3 of them all together in one car. They had a crash and Lord how did they survive but through you. I love you Lord and I love the triles I have had because of them I am who I am today. Lord you carried those chilren and my grankids from that car. Praise you that today I have them.

Im feeling a little weriey today nothing much but one little step at a time. Going for a rest.
God Bless
...........................................................................................................................................

[ServeGod]

Hi Gwen,

wow Matthew is a great place to start, the gospels (New testament) is the best place to start. When i started reading the bible, i would say a little pray before opening it, it went something like this " Father I pray that i know you better, i pray that you open my eyes and ears to what i am about to read". You will find that the Holy Spirit will teach you all things.
There are also many studies here at the Oasis, if you go to links and christian walk studies you will find a list with so much interesting topics to read about. One of the studies i recommend is the Spirit of Truth.
Peace I leave with you, My peace i give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27
Gwen i believe its not chance your here at the Oasis, but i believe you were led here. Welcome to more than just a christian site, Its a Spirit filled place. God Bless you Gwen.

[Timothy]

Hi Gwen,

This is a process. A process of progress. Fight each battle as it comes. When you feel the pull from the evil side,
seek God. Seek Him thru the Bible, thru prayer, thru the Oasis. Write, as you have, so your brothers and sisters
can offer you support.

Talk to God. Put into practice the things the Holy Spirit shows you. Satan don't like you walkin away from him.
He will try to get you back. But be assurred, Jesus has you and He won't let you go. Trust in Jesus to fight that
battle for you. He is here for you. Rejoice in Him. Give Him praise and thanks, specially when things are ruff.
Jesus IS your salvation. Jesus IS the way. Jesus IS your focus. Gwen, you were brought here for a reason. Jesus
is that reason.

I looked up your verse in Mathew's Beatitudes, then saw this:
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.
( Mathew 5:6 )

Seek Him http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keywor ... hePoor.htm

Keep putting one step in front of the other. Hang in there. We are with you.

In prayer,
Timothy

[popples]

Its Thursday 630am
I woke just then and slumped to the side of the bed to see if anyone had replied to my post. After reading them I SAT UP. wow no that a big WOW
The Holly Spirit is fastastic............

Im feeling great today especially now that I read the replies.

Thats right I can concor anything with God.
My prayer today....Father without you I am nothing, thankyou for giving me this chance to grow with such blessed ppl and more than aanything with you. God you are the only father I know pls guide me throughout this day that with you I may not be tempted, that I can stand tall Lord, I owe my life to you, Lord I am grateful to be alive. In your name AMEN.

I have meds to do now but will take any advice willing so after my breaky I will look at THE SPIRIT OF TRUTH study.

see ya back here soon.

[popples]

its same day Thurs about 2pm
I just read my prayer I said this mornin....guess what GOD DOES ANSWER PRAYERS
today I have been so at peace with myself.

I dont know if this has anything to do with anything but I need to write what is on my heart mostly its about being honest with myself. I am here because I have never had to be accountable to anyone....mmmm I hope Im saying this how Im feeling it. Am I right in saying wake up Gwen its time to be accountable for what I have done what I am doing and what I will do????

Thursday again 6pm
Ive decided each new part I write I will just add a post in stead of editing but I want to remind myself that before I do I must reread each post I have previously writen just so I dont loose sight of why I started this....
So Gwen why did you start this???

Its been about an hour since I asked this question and came back and forth to type but I guess if I wanna be honest with myself, no kidding around I NEED god in my life, I WANT a relationship with him, you know for me like I said earlier Ive never been able to stick with anything well thats anyone either.
Mum- I havnt spoke to her in months
Dad- Thats probally been some years well it has
Sister/Brothers- Same months.
Friends- Yes I do the same send them away

I really want this, I really want God, I know how lonley I have been, Isnt that amazing. How I can say Ive been so lonely after 3 children, 17 foster children and always so many friends, a husband but yet I was and have been so alone. I was in the mormon church when I was 9 but that relationship was different than what i FEEL now with God. So that gives me the oportunity to say about what is happening inside me...I cant really say its in my heart because its like every part of me. Its really deep, its not sad, it brings tears to my eyes, yes it does make me cry, it doesnt hurt, its how Im doing all this (I THINK) now Im whispering this question just incase Im wrong..."Is this the spirit?"

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Hi Gwen,
I just wanted to let you know I was here and have been reading along since you came back,
It is good to see you back and I pray God leads you in the way only He can
God bless
Cuc

[popples]

Those of you that were just in chat for the past wow nearly 2 hours...what can I say???? God my prayer how do I give thanks to you, how do I show how grateful I am, there are no words I just learnt so much about you Lord no thats not even explaining it. I didnt just learn about you but I felt you. I am so over welmed I need to rest because no matter whtA what I say it wont even get close.
goodnight goodnight (I gotta stop pinching myself)

[Mackenaw]

Hello Popples

God bless you this day.

I am glad to hear that you are seeking The Lord: God The Father, God The Son (Jesus), and God The Holy Spirit. The Lord loves you so very much.

I highly recommend that you read the following study on The Blood of Jesus. Jesus is our Saviour, and by no other name do any of us come to The Father. The Lord (God The Father, God The Son, and God The Holy Spirit) awaits your return unto Him, with open arms. http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keywor ... fJesus.htm

God bless and keep you, Popples.
In Christ Jesus' name and love,
Sister Mack

[popples]

Its been ages been really busy today with the kids...Karen 22/Johnny 20 and Cloey 18 Im very tired, but dont wanna loose sight of why Im here so Im just gonna say a quick few things. Today when I had about an hour to myself a friend turned up he begged me to go score for him which means I could have had somthing too, and yesterday I forgot to mention one person I use to get drugs from said he would have some really nice stuff today, so yesterday I said "I dont do that anymore but you know I thought of it often today, and even though I said to this guy today I dont do that anymore I allso lied and said look mate there is nothing around....he pleaded with me for awhile but I kept saying no, even though deep down I really wanted too. He left and I just got busy with cooking.

Does it mean Im a lier now, and the thoughts gee how am I gonna deal with them????

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Yaaaayyyyy Popples,
I see your concern BUT I also know why you did it and I have my own opinion on this which some may not agree with......that is why it's an opinion and not a fact
I see you are fighting a VERY tuff battle and you used this to eliminate some of your weakness by telling this person a lie but the reason being if you had not then not only would you have fallen to your weakness but you ALSO would have contributed to this others habit as well, and anyone who has dealt with an addict knows there is NO reasoning with them so it comes to as you done, lie or almost if not physical force for them to understand.......NO!!!
I know as you do it is bad to lie to OR for anyone, but you did this due to if you had not it would have pulled you down, you made a choice and as far as I'm concerned THE RIGHT CHOICE!!
Avoid contact with these people as much as you can, look at it this way, put a kid that's not allowed to have candy IN a candy store and what's gonna happen.....one way or another he WILL get the candy.
May God give you the strength you need to fight this.
Cuc

[popples]

SATURDAY 31/08/2012 (14 DAYS CLEAN)

When I just logged on I reallised eveyday I come here the Lord says "Welcome home" thats so touching I hadnt realised that before.
I need to say thankyou to those that read and to those that reply to my daily jornal because I know without a doubt its from God, honestly you are all such a blessing.

I found out the guy I told the white lie to yesterday has been clean for 3months, Praise God I had no part in him returning to Satan.

Christunderconstruction.... thankyou

Its 7am

Lord thankyou for my new friends thankyou that I am breathing, oh thankyou for EVERYTHING you give me.
Lord I know now that without you I cannot live
Lord stay with me today as you do may I be mindful of you throughout today as I face anything that comes my way.
I love yopu with all my heart.
Praise you Lord
AMEN

Same day 3pm
Just when you think you got everything under control somthing happens....I got a call about 8am this morning, someone I have grown to love and care for over the past 9 years died in his sleep he was 36years old. Bruce like me struggled with drugs day in day out he searched, Bruce used for alot longer period and one of his many attempts was just two weeks ago. We were in hospital together and my kids all called him Uncle. I was sad very sad and normally sad = drugs.
Instantly I smiled my daughter was sitting on the other couch and asked me what Im smiling about, (My kids are shocked at this person I have become) I said you know God spared me that could have been me. I just knew in my heart guilt was of satan and I cant afford to carry that right now, I believe God gave me that chance in hospital with Bruce and I did use it because I told him I was clean and if he needed help I can give him a few numbers......not long after that my daughter and husband were having a stand off with each other in the back yard and it was so funny I hadnt laughed to myself in such a long time because this is the daddys little 18year that cant do anything wrong and in her eyes nor can her dad, see because the old me would fix the problems so neither would be upset but I let them both learn the truth today by themselves so see God was here again with my family.

Then the next call came...THE DEALER
Ive known him for about 20years and our friendship is more than just drugs....but without lying to myself he does trigger me. We talked about Bruce, most of the convo, and I sniffed a few times cos I have been a bit sniffly over the past two weeks.....he asked me why I was doing it???? (see its one of the symtoms your hanging like need a FIX= drugs)
I said Im not sure, maybe getting the flu, had it a few weeks I said which is true, he said your not hanging are you??? I said definitly not. The call was ok and I finshed it with" I am proud of myself."

same day 8pm

I dont know what this is about or why Im putting it here but maybe I will understand later....
Praise God he has given you and me this site to come too, when we dont know somthing or just want advice.
I have to say this.....First God loves you. Second the answers I recieve from here (Oasis) is defenitly guided by the Holly Spirit and thirdly Jesus gave us the chance to change because he died for us.

I said in a prayer before I wrote this well God, why am I faceing this repetitive stuff everyday....Ive done this before, Ive too done the same study about you its all seeming the same "He said my child you forgot the FULLSTOP in the first study" "the COMMA" in the second "and the QUESTION MARK in the third"


I pray hon you understand me because this is what just came to my heart after reading what you asked...

[realtmg]

AMEN.