Christianity Oasis Forum

[crzychik]

Hello,
I will do the journey.
It is a Saturday, and I am sitting on the couch with my son, who is almost 17 years old, watching cartoons.
I have recently left my husband of 22 years, and have two older children away at college. My youngest is with me, and he has been sick with annular pancreatitis since he was 12 years old. I have been a christian all of my adult life, and have raised my kids that way as well. I am thankful to the Lord that each one of my children have chosen to follow the Lord. When I was a teen I did not. Anyway, I left my husband about one and a half years ago today, and at first I went a little wild, and left God in the dust. I was thinking to my self well hmmmp! I want someone to "love" me, so Im going to go out and call up some old boyfriends etc.... welll Im sure you can imagine the rest.
Anyway, recently I have been going to a Bible Study with a friend, Kay Arthur and 2 other women wrote the study, and yes... it is bringing me back to God"
The main reason I am here is due to my son. He has been admitted to the hospital more than 30 times in the last 5 years, several "procedures" and one major surgery ( bypass D to J) and he is scheduled for yet another major surgery this April.
It is getting very draining to keep up hope ,and to think that with each "procedure " that God will give us relief, just to find out 5 years later that now my son is worse than ever... his day now consists of sitting on the couch taking oxycodone for pain and drinking food maintenance to stay alive waiting for the "next surgery" and hoping maybe this time God will fix the problem. and although I do have faith in Gods plan this is a place "vent". It is hard to continue to tell your son "God has a plan hunny" ...We will not give up until we find a solution no matter what it takes....God has a reason for all of this...etc... meanwhile he watches his life pass him by, his friends go out on the golf course, play baseball play soccer all the things he used to enjoy....while he sits on the couch and hopes that if he eats a piece of toast today it wont cause him pain.
I try to think and hope that this next surgery will be the end of it, but instead of me saying ...well after your surgery, we will get to do this or that,, i now say well after your surgery, maybe we can do this or that we never know how things will turn out..dont get me wrong, I believe in the "power of positive thinking" but I have learned that no matter what we want to "say" will happen, God is in control.
Ultimatly I do beieve that Gods hand is in alll of this, but I do wonder how "my own sin " may have affected my sons life?
Either way, it is his life, and I suffer along with him, and I am thankfull that he has not lost hope in God.
We have prayed together a lot, but recently we have made the decision to pray together about Gods direction every single morning!
Crzy

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Hello c,chick,
First I want to say I am glad you are here, this is a wonderful site full of info and love
next I will keep you and your son in my prayers, but I also feel the need to tell you my opinion, I have two thoughts,
first God is not causing this to happen to your son because of your past sin

but I do wonder how "my own sin " may have affected my sons life?

And as for those sins you spoke of I know from your words you have already went to God and asked for His forgiveness in this so it is only you who has not forgiven it, The flesh is weak and to spend 22 years with someone (and again by your words I think you was not feeling love) therefore it is easy to understand what you felt to do, some of us here have been or are on that same path, we feel that emptyness and wish it to be filled and we run to what we know instead of coming to God for that fullfillment, I for one was in an empty relationship for most of the 14 years I was married and no I didn't seek God to fill it but that is another story.
I pray others here will see your post and we all will lift you and your son up to our Lord for healing and Gods will to be done swiftly to end this pain and suffering and allow him to continue in God's plan, and to pray for your strength and will to be stronger than you need to endure what comes so your son will see nothing sways your faith.
Remember He IS the healer.
May God pour His blessings upon you and your son
Cuc