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Journal #1

Postby Listening heart » Thu Feb 09, 2012 9:04 am

It's strange to be here - out of my comfort zone. I don't usually share things like this with other Christian brothers and sisters - only my husband. I have been proud and haughty and not wanted to show my vulnerability. I wanted people to think I had it all together. Now my Heavenly father wants to show me the peace and security in humility and meekness. I lean on Him more and feel quieter inside - more at peace than ever before, but this is just the beginning of the story I think. I know this has affected my husband because he seems to have fallen more deeply in love with me. (How cool is that?)

One of my children is very close to God. His life and marriage are full of blessings and he is a loving and compassionate young man. My other son is struggling. He's had many more problems and I was constantly trying to help (lead him) towards change when God showed me that the problems were mine! I had been a 'distant' mother because of my own mother's distance and disappointment in me. She made me feel stupid and inferior all my life and I was unconsciously passing that down to my middle son and my daughter. God is showing me how to let go of pride and disappointment and see the wonderful children they truly are. I am beginning to drop my agendas for changing them and help them to find who they are and how God loves them just as they are. I am asking God that I can be the loving mother that they need - better late than never. That is the miracle I am seeking through this course.

I am also seeking to find out more about whether He is leading me to be a full-time home-maker and the miracle of the financial means for me to do this, if this is truly where he is leading me.

I have to say that the Virtuous Woman study has been outstandingly helpful to me. Truth without the legalism :) I am looking forward to doing this course too. It's very hard not to go on to step 2 until tomorrow, but I'm going to try *laughter*
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Listening heart
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Re: Journal #1

Postby KrysyK » Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:30 am

I just wanted to let you know that I am inspired by what you have written. I am not a mother or a wife, but I am glad that you have taken the steps needed to try and become better at both roles. God will bless your household, your children, your marriage and your finances.
I too suffer from having too much pride, I know it's a constant struggle to try and rid yourself of it. When I do let go of my pride, I feel so vulnerable and foolish at times but that is better than allowing my pride to hurt others.
As for your feelings of inferiority, I am glad you are overcoming those and be reminded that because we actively seek and live by God's wisdom; therefore, we are highly favored and esteemed in the sight of God and men (Proverbs 3:1-4; 8:33-35).
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Re: Journal #1

Postby Listening heart » Fri Feb 10, 2012 1:02 pm

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words krysyk
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