Christianity Oasis Forum

[aj]

well, um, hi . . .
I found Christianity Oasis this morning as I was looking for a Christian depression support group, and I've joined. I don't know what to expect from it, really. I've dealt with depression for the last 12 years, and I've been a Christian for the last 8. Those states of being don't fit very well together, in my mind, but I'm hoping this study will help me reconcile them, somehow.
I've been doing pretty well for the majority of this year, but the lows hit me again a few days ago and I can't wait to outlive them. Part of it is the prelude to winter -- I do NOT winter well -- and part of it is the pressure I'm putting on my visit home this week (my family is 500 miles away and I only get home twice a year, so those times mean a lot -- I raise them to totally unrealistic levels . . .). On a smaller scale, I can't quit smoking and I have a spot that I've convinced myself is a fatal melanoma (did I mention the hypochondria?) and I had a "fight" with my sister on Friday. I say "fight" in that it was more of a flash of attitude from her that I couldn't tone down, and she hung up on me. I am not doing well this weekend.

[vahn]

Good morning AJ

Welcome aboard the Oasis , glad to have our Lord lead you here and even glad-er for you to have listened .

This was (and still is) the place for me where I can get a chance to put things (chaos) in some kind of an order and sort them out in separate "files" ... then , I get back and try to tackle one file at a time .

Don't know much about depression , all I know is that I had suffered from it for a long time , and one thing that I DO know is that we cannot stereo-type depression in other words we cannot treat ALL the same way . But , the good news is , its that these 14 stepping stones (one day at a time) helped me , as I mentioned before , to sort them out , put them in order , find out how many issues are there that are intensifying the depression and so on .

There will be others that'll come along and be of more help , but , hang in there sis ... God isn't done with you yet !!



In Christ , our Lord
vahn

[Dora]

Hello aj Thank you for sharing that.

I like you and Vahn have struggled with depression. I like how Vahn shared it's not a one size fix all problem. Finding the cause will be where you find the cure. With His help you can do this.

[for4himalways]

hi aj
I understand what you are going through. I too suffer from depression.

if you need someone to talk to i'm wiling to be a sounding bord. do you get so depressed at times you want to die?
I need someone to talk with as well can we be friends? I will for you will you for me?

Your sister in Christ,
4Him

[dema]

There are a lot of tricks that help. But to expect anything to swoop in and fix it instantaneously is unrealist. As you pointed out, sometimes it is our expectations that cause us to be disappointed - and that never feels good. Part of the cycle of depression is that it feeds itself. When people are depressed they tend to look down, turn down the lights, and think endlessly about what they did wrong. The opposite actions can be extremely helpful. Make a habit of looking up, smile even though you don't feel like it, turn on the lights, go for a drive in the daytime, and find ways to think about anything EXCEPT your depression.

There are many, many tips that can help.

But of course, Jesus is the great physician. And taking the steps of the courses on this site and praying - with listening - can really start the healing journey. But it is almost always a journey.

Do, notice the urgings of the Holy Spirit. Do look at how you can help others. And do notice the good minutes.

God bless you.

[aj]

Thanks, Vahn . . . I know He's not done with me yet, and that's always a good thing to hear again

And yes, Dema . . . lots of good minutes. I tend to be happier with the small things, and single minutes definitely qualify!

Here's a question, though -- knowing where we're going, knowing we're not of this world -- am I the only one excited about just GOING, already? I'm not suicidal, just practical -- I know what waits for me, and I'm a bit bored with life here. There must be more He has in mind for me here, I know that, but is anyone else ready? Does that make sense?

[dema]

I am not afraid of dying. I don't want to hurt. But dying itself doesn't bother me. I do not understand why people choose to have chemotherapy in order to gain 3 or 4 more months of life. If they can get well and watch their children grow up - sure. But just hanging on, and keeping their whole family hanging on, for three or four more months? Sometimes they need to - there are things that need to be said - unfinished business. But my business is as finished as it can be at any given moment. I want my grandchildren to remember me the way I remember my grandmothers. And I need to be here a good many more years for that. I have things on my bucket list to do.

But at the same time, I feel that this is not my home. That I have been on a trip for a long time - and I would like to be bathed directly in the love of God again. It is almost as though I can feel having been there. Feel having been at his feet and having all this trash stuff - all the darts of the wicked ones, the things we don't want to remember, the embarrassment, the regret, the ugliness that bothers us even though it is far away and belongs to somebody else - to have it gone. Poofed. And to have this fullness - this total state of love and communion. To be free of the ugly and totally one with the beauty. It is as though I were there before. And I remember it. And I want to be back there. Sometimes more than others.

Is this what you mean? To me, it is homesickness. I will complete my journey here and enjoy it as well as I can. I pray to learn to enjoy this life more and more. And certainly I am exceedingly blessed. But, I am homesick. Is that what you mean?

[vahn]

I believe your answer lies right in your very statements .

am I the only one excited about just GOING,

I know what waits for me, and I'm a bit bored with life here.

Remember at our younger days , right around Christmas , (how fitting huh ?) , after making sure our parents knew what we wanted for Christmas , and then we get a whiff that "hey , we got it ! and it's under the tree !! ... Ah , the "excitement " ... of course , almost always followed by impatience ... then come the aggravation , and we start asking parents to can we pwease open the present before time , and woah ... don't you even think about saying no ...

But .. after all that , the day finally comes , we get to open the present and we go ... SO ???

Somehow , for some reason or other , living in the excited state makes life a bit dull .


Oh , and P.S. ... Nope you're not the only one that feels that way

In Christ , our Lord

[aj]

thanks, vahn and dema . . . I feel a little less weird :D God bless both of y'all for your honest and thoughtful replies. This website is more than I expected!

[aj]

I missed a couple of days in my Bible study due to work and travel, but I'm back on track now and will likely stay that way . . . I'm at my mother's for Christmas and will have a few hours in the morning before she's up to web surf and post random things. My work hours are drastically different from hers, so I'm wide awake by 3 or 4 in the morning while she sleeps until the respectable time of 7:30. Of course, I'm in a coma by 7 PM, but whatever
Christmas at Ma's -- nothing else makes me feel 12 years old and 65 at the same time. We're independent women, in my family, and we're used to our own space and routines. I'm sitting downstairs trying to not TYPE loudly, for crying out loud
If anyone has a spare minute today, please pray that I don't smack my little sister in her precious head. We get along fine over the phone, with 500 safe miles between us, but we rub each other the wrong way when in the same room. Goes back to the independent thing, and the fact that we both tend towards defensiveness and hurt feelings. I'm realizing lately that we're not as close as I thought we'd become, and that's sad. My family is small and I don't want it any smaller . . .
This house seems too quiet without the dog. Our 17-year-old terrier finally went the way of puppy euthanasia a few weeks ago . . . we cried all week, you'd have thought it was Grandma, or something. Rest in peace, Niblet
By the way, I adamantly refuse to say "Happy Holidays" to the politically correct. Merry merry merry CHRISTMAS!!!

[dema]

Awwww. Sympathy for your loss. Animals can be such a joy.

Sisters share with us what nobody else can. I get along much better with my sister in person. Miss her now. But we are soooo different. Which is probably why we have trouble talking on the phone. But in person we remember old times and catch up on facts. Remebering can be a bonding experience. If it doesn't get you into old grudges. and tears on that one.

God bless you.

[aj]

What's the general opinion on forgiveness without reconciliation? I have family members that have done very hurtful and destructive things in the past, which can be -- and are -- forgiven, but am I responsible for having relationships with people who are not only NOT repentant, but would do the same thing again, given the opportunity? Is it all right to avoid those I see as unhealthy, or does that negate the forgiveness?