Christianity Oasis Forum

[xxJILLxx]

We have made a decision that we will be educating the kids from home via a virtual online charter school using k12 curriculum and I will be their coach . They will have their own teachers and i will be there to support them and help them along the way and provide structure and consistence.

This is going to b e challenging for me, coaching through the day and then turning around and going to work in the afternoons, then vahn will come home and be with them. So they wont be alone for long periods of time, thank God my schedule at work makes this all the more easier for us all.

I think this will be a good thing! And I am excited! They wont have to walk home alone in the cold, wont be subjected to all the noise and riff raff that they have been complaining about in their schools that have hindered their learning and concentration. A more stable learing environment and this sunday we will be visiting a church to establish an outside social group away from home. Another good thing about this program is the coaches rally up the students and twice a month go on field trips or study sessions at the library etc. We also will have a family coach that helps all the families in our area with question as far as settin things up etc. I think it is very well rounded thus far and look forward to starting this with them. Mariah starts monday and nathan starts the following monday.

Keep us in your prayers if He leads you to, will be much appreciated

God bless
♥Jill

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Hi Sis!!
I think it is a great idea, I just don't think they can get the same education in the schools any more
And it will allow you to see more first hand what they actually are learning and not have to worry about the kid next to them trying to sell them drugs and stearing them in the wrong directions.
I was a stay home dad for a couple years when mine were little and I thought it was fun I took care of the house and everything but the best part was spending that extra one on one time with the kids (next to when my wife said she didn't know how I did it and kept up with everything)
I say you will do great with this because you and vahn both know to bring Christ before everything and all else will follow
May God bless you and your family
ps I have a nathan too

[xxJILLxx]

Hey bro,

Thank you for that vote of confidence and your kind words and support! It Was the extra lil push i needed.

Did You know the name Nathan means "gift from God"? They are all truly gifts, are they not?

God bless you cuc , again thank you

♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

Wow! Homeschooling and working 40 hrs a week plus keeping house and trying to keep laundry under control! It's a lot of work, it aint no joke!

The first day i thought "Oh my, did we make the right decision here?" I was completely overwhelmed, trying to thumb my way through the program and keeping on top of things. Frustration level was maxed, nerves were fried. NOt to mention it was the first few days on my own after orientating on another part of the facility were i work. I was learning a pc program for work, and a trying to find my way around the K12 website for the kids all at the same time. Well i just learned as i went along. Thank You Lord for giving me a son who was patient with me. He seen my frustration and said " mom, u dont like homeschool do you?" I asked him to bear with me, and he has. My daughter is doing well and is way more independant than my 10 yr old. Alot of the stuff that we work on im learning or relearning myself, so it feels like im in school too. All in all after a few days of a packed week, i am thankful to have the evening off of work. Now it is Thursday, and i go back to work for the weekend. I've been crazy busy. Actually thinkin about cutting back to 4 days a week instead of five... we shall see. I dont want to get burned out.

Yesterday me and nate went to the beach after doing half our work and tried to fly kites. Well we were unsuccessful at it. But we still had fun. Been doing a lot of bonding. Tomorrow we are going to a homeschool ice cream social in our area. They have events planned every Friday in our area for the students, so im hoping there will be some kids their age they can befriend.

The church we visitied is awesome and we all liked it, so i plan on making it there again soon to make it the second visit with the family.

God is good! Thank U Lord for guiding me, supporting me, comforting me, and definately STRETCHING me in areas that i had no idea i could stretch to. All by His strength, cause me? well... if i would of had it my way, i would of quit homeschooling after the first nite! But again thank u Lord, for all you do for us, and in us.

AMen
♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

I have been neglectful in my relationship with Him. I have been "too busy" for Him. The other night at night at work, i was praying over my food outloud , without me even realise i was doing it outloud and a coworker said "Wow, you said that so fast, do you always do it that fast?" It made me pause and i am still thinking about that. I replied no, but as of late that is how my relationship with Him has been. I dont like it, i dont feel close to Him, but i know He is there and still talk to Him.

Other things boggling me, i am such a doubter!!!!! I doubt and question God? How dare i to do such. I dare to question HIs Son? I have some weeds growing in my mind and i dont like the shadow they cast on my roses. Time to do an inventory on the things in my garden and pull out what dont belong there.

On the upbeat, dont mean to sound so gloom, homeschool is getting easier. We are starting to have a system and scheduling things alot better. TY Lord for answering prayer even when i am unworthy to recieve such answered requests. I drove past nathan's old school today with him in the car just so happened school was letting out. I asked him if he missed the school, and he replied no, not at all. So that made me feel like we had made the right decision.

So... ya, thats where i am. Kinda just there.

God bless
♥Jill

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Hey sis,
Just as you see the good when speaking to me I see: You are realizing you put God on the back burner- you also realize your allowing life to swallow up your time that you want to spend with God- And your realizing satan is trying to sneak in the back door of your mind and cause you to doubt BUT you are about to pull him OUT by the roots!!- God has answered your prayer and Nathan is liking the homeschooling that you are settling into.
So you see it is just how you word it, sounds to me like you are doing great, I hope I worded this right so you see what I was meaning, yes they are issues BUT you are seeing them and addressing them.
May God continue to bless you and your family, keep up the great work!!

[xxJILLxx]

Thanks cuc, never underestimate the power of God speaking through your words. You are such a blessing to this ministry and us, your family. I pray and trust that all is well with you and yours .

Today started out rocky, i felt anxious and nausious.. just getting over a lil head cold and still dealing with all thats on my plate now. Usually when i feel anxious i call vahn. But today i thought, i needed to pray about it. Not to mention i asked my 10 year old to cheer me up And he did . And we finished school early today Then i come on here and see your reply and the three combined dissolved my anxiousness and the nausiousness went away. I put on some messianic jewish music. ( I love that music for some reason) And some stories on His Kids radio. Cooked a good lunch for us and even got to relax and do a few rows of knitting before going to work. And work was great .

When i take on something new it seems like i overwhelm myself with worry and self doubt myself, to be able to accomplish the new "thing", whatever it may be. This is something that i have repeated many times and i need to stop the cycle so i can begin to enjoy the fruit of the new "thing". Ok, So i found the underlying factor, the root...( well one of them anyways) So now that i found one, what do i do? I let myself know that i have an "error" of dealing with new things. One way to correct the "error" is to look at new "things" optimistically and trust God to walk me through them. And lets just say "IF" i fail, so what!! I would of never known lest i tried and stepped forward and participated in the "new", by stepping in faith. Once i confront the "IF" i find myself not feeling so overwhelmed by it anymore. The "IF" loses it power of holding me in fear, and self doubt and all the other things that tag along with them.

So that is my inventory, now it is time for ACTION. The "doing", in spite of all the "if's" (which i have been doing, per say, but not letting myself enjoy it..) the way He wants me to and the way it will bring Him glory.



God bless
♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

I get in these lil depressed states every once in awhile. Not sure what brings them on, could be a list of things that i am not willing to acknowledge. I think hormones have a lot to do with this as well as me being a bit stubborn. My mind seems to be in a fog some days and have a hard time expressing myself in words.

There are some things that are bothering me for sure.

Ok acknowledgment time:

My oldest son will be 18 in a few days. I have a hard time of letting go of this young man and understanding that he now has a life of his own and that i have little to do with his life. A few text messages here and there, alot of them that i send him are not returned. And at first it angers me, then it saddens me, then i try to rationalize why, then i go into what have i done wrong, to just circle right back to it angers me. I cant seem to break the circle and find peace about this situation. Yes he is a young man now, he doesnt need mommy at every beckon call, he has a busy football schedule, a busy social schedule and now a new girlfriend. I guess boys dont communicate much with their mothers after a certain age . So it goes back to me having the problem of letting go in this situation, and i assume it will just be a matter of time before i feel peace over this situation.

Another thing thats bothering me is this foggy brain and sometimes not being able to remember things as quick as i would like to. I am taking gingko biloba now and am hoping that will help eleviate some of this.

Well thats enough for now.

I do feel better now that i have outletted some of the feelings. Keeping them in does me no good but makes em a bigger issue for later.

God bless
♥Jill

[vahn]

Hey Jill

I guess boys dont communicate much with their mothers after a certain age

I know I didn't , and as you know , I still don't "communicate" with her even now , after all these years . Oh , yes , I call her frequently , and talk up a storm , but communicate ? Not realy . Does it bother me ? ... of course it does , need I be more "open" with her ? ... now there's the snag ... I can only speak for myself , at the same time I'm sure it applies to all the "boys" .... No , I don't think I can be more "open" with my mother , 'cause , here's the honest truth (again , keep in mind I'm speaking of myself) , deep down inside , there's always this feeling of "failing" mother's wishes for me through voluntary actions of my own and there is no way in this God's given world that I will communicate all that to her , you know why ? The last thing I want to do is to cause my mother any MORE unnecessary grief than what s I had put her through already .... Now don't get me wrong , I am NOT saying this is how she looks at me , as a failure (to her aspirations of her son) , no , mothers dont do that , they only see the best ... just like our Heavenly Father , but rather it is I , knowing the truth about myself and actions I had taken , my M.O. had always been to override the communication with some extraordinary acheivement (to make her proud of her boy) In other words , cover a dissapointment with deception ... ah , what a tangled web .

Your boy will come around , I can almost assure you that . Just like us and everybody else , others can tell us all about how hot fire is , and how it burns , but not untill we get the feel of a burn we will never fully understand .

I think it is best that we let our children learn on their own , through their own actions (a rather hands on experience) than to give them the "knowledge" scott free . Just take a look at what I am doing , I am sharing all this to comfort , not only you , but countless others that go through any parent does . And that , I think is the best communication my mother receives from me , even without saying a word to her .


Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord

[xxJILLxx]

Thank u vahn, i love you very much

Ps. Happy Birthday!!!

[xxJILLxx]

This quote has been popping up on me several times the last week.

"Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself."
Leo Tolstoy

So examine time. Inventory. I invite you Holy Spirit and examine my ways, point out a few of the things i need to change within to bring Him the glory He so deserves. Lord i know there aare so many things that need to be changed in side of me that are too many to be numbered. I pray that you choose a few that need it the most for your kingdom's sake.

Change... depending on the state of mind you are in, or in other words which path i choose to take with the whole theme of change... it either seems scary , or pride sets in, or even denial.. "oh thats not too too bad". On the flip side seeing the outcome of the change, the newness of ones spirit, the shedding of the old.. makes room for more growth. Excitement and energy come with along with unchartered territory.

Yesterday i was taking photographs of the foliage and the changing of the season. Oh how beautiful all the the colors of His palette. A carpet full of colors on the walkways. Everything in His creation evolves, changes that is. It seems effortless for nature to take on such changes. The trees proudly discard their beautiful robes of colors and bare themselves before their Creator. They laid their leaves down, how silly it would be for them to pick up the old leaves and try to cover themselves with them. But isnt that what we do sometimes? Yet naked with no hiding place they stand proud and tall. Then He out of His compassion blankets them with a white pure snow. They anticipate the new birth of blossom after a season of sleeping cozzily in the blanket of the snow. They let His other Creation take nest within them. Just beeaaauutttifulll is change, Isnt it?

Why do we fight it sometimes? Why do we look for others to change and for who's purpose? Theirs or ours? To make ourselves feel better or so they can be a better person? Forget about it! Change within and be the example to them, they will come along if it be His will at that time. Enjoy the change, as the trees... they brilliantly and almost boastfully display all ther colors. IN the end, those colors mere dust, gone like chaff in the wind. The tree remains, steadfast and proud of His creator and waits for His blanket of grace to cover them. Ohh how sweet is HIs creation to remind us. Thank u Lord.

Again i quote:

"Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself."
Leo Tolstoy

I , Mr Tolstoy, have heard your plea and see the wisdom within your words through the eyes of my Lord.

Change....

Im now speechless

God bless
♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

More beautiful quotes of change:

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
Winston Churchill

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Maya Angelou

Ah and this one :

Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.
Soren Kierkegaard

They speak for themselves, no need to add text.

Just simply , hmmmm

God bless
♥Jill