Christianity Oasis Forum

[goldieluvs]

Ok so i am realizing i need to put some boundaries into my personal life, wat i allow in and wat i am not willing to accept. That being said, i am curious... can anyone tell me what healthy boundaries look like to you? And if someone tried to intrude on that boundary how you would handle it???

[vahn]

Hey sis ,
Glad to "see" you again

I will give it my best shot at your "request" ? .... Based ONLY on my own understanding and opinion .

First thing , Let me explain what my idea of a boundary is : See , unlike fences , walls and hedges , which are visible to any one coming across them , and lets them know visually that they are crossing some-thing into a very clearly marked "teritory" , and that unless ther's a gate or an opening , they know they are tresspassing if they dont let the people on the other side know of their intent .
Now with boundary : Boundaries serve the same exact purpose as fences and walls do , we put those up (for whatever reasons ) for letting others know of our "individuality" , yes , the fence may cross the same "field" but with fences (visual) we're saying "This part of it I would like to grow blue wheat (if the other side is purple) but nevertheless , wheat is wheat right ? Well , boundaries are NOT visible , they ARE and MUST be let KNOWN to others by other means (verbally , and/or taking action or non action) , see the difference ? Otherwise , the other party DON"T know any different and they do as they please and sometimes we get to feel our toes being stepped on , whether by tresspassing , or , making unintended comment on how and why the wheat is different colour here , and we get offended . But ... However .... Solution ... LET THEM KNOW WHERE THE LINE IS .... (Don't forget to also mention the consequences if they do -more important) ... that way we are NOT telling them what to do or NOT to do , we're simply handing them the ball to play in their own court (a choice) Result ? "Hey I did my part . it's YOU who's in the wrong !!)


Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord


P.S. (Half an hour later !! )

In addition , boundaries , are flexible and , more imortant , portable .... in other words , they give us more of a freedom to apply them as we go and to whomever we wish to apply them to .

[goldieluvs]

ty vahn for your response your opinion on what boundaries are lines up with what i believe is meant to be boundaries. I think the problem i experience is more sticking to my boundaries. like stepping out and letting the consequences whatever those may be happen to whoever is violating those boundaries. I really appreciate your response and i very much liked the blue/purple wheat; i never saw it put in such a visual way and that was cool!