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Zemirah's journal - Day 11 - I surrender all
Saturday morning I woke up knowing it would be the day for "day 11" ... the previous week I'd been at the CCCC program (thanks to recovering from surgery and having to stay home ) and then the program had been in part about day 11 so I knew what was coming --- surrender! Anyway back to Saturday morning, I woke up and I was singing the song Surrender all as I woke ... it felt so amazing to realise that and that "today was the day"
so ........... what did I do? I was so excited by the neat waking up that I mentioned it in the chatroom ... nobody replied or said anything in response, and instead of just shaking it off and continuing on I drowned in the negative thoughts instead. Sidetracked by the lies that keep trying to creep in Anyway, I didn't stay in that frame of mind for very long thankfully but I did stall as far as the excitement of day 11 ... and now it's Monday and only just returning now to this day.
I surrender ......
and please pray for God to help me with this because I'm very good at trying to take that surrendering back from past experience
I surrender
so ........... what did I do? I was so excited by the neat waking up that I mentioned it in the chatroom ... nobody replied or said anything in response, and instead of just shaking it off and continuing on I drowned in the negative thoughts instead. Sidetracked by the lies that keep trying to creep in Anyway, I didn't stay in that frame of mind for very long thankfully but I did stall as far as the excitement of day 11 ... and now it's Monday and only just returning now to this day.
I surrender ......
and please pray for God to help me with this because I'm very good at trying to take that surrendering back from past experience
I surrender
Last edited by Zemirah on Sat Oct 05, 2013 4:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Zemirah - Posts: 130
- Location: God's Kingdom
- Marital Status: Waiting on God
Re: Zemi's journal - Day 11 - I surrender all
I'm glad you were able to shake that off quickly. I've been there. We all probably have. The fact that you overcame it and so quickly shows strength. I probably would of wallowed in it for a few days or even a week.
I love the way God wakes us to song. The fact that he woke you to a song that goes along with the step is amazing to me! Shows me just how excited He is about your choosing to seek Him through this study. Waking His little girl with His gentle voice and nudging to seeking Him.
I love the way God wakes us to song. The fact that he woke you to a song that goes along with the step is amazing to me! Shows me just how excited He is about your choosing to seek Him through this study. Waking His little girl with His gentle voice and nudging to seeking Him.
Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Dora - Posts: 3759
- Location: In Gods Hands
- Marital Status: Married
Re: Zemi's journal - Day 11 - I surrender all
Good stuff Zemirah
It is hard when we try to share something we think is important, or an awesome experience, or something we feel God has spoken to us personally and nobody responds. I know about the lies rushing back in too, the enemy saw and opening and shot all those fiery darts at you...thats why we are told to put on all the armor. The chat room CAN be a hard place to share...if you ever have something that good again hit me up with an IM cause I would love to hear it...and you will have something that good again
Surrender....sometimes seems like i got to do it minute by minute...if not more
It is hard when we try to share something we think is important, or an awesome experience, or something we feel God has spoken to us personally and nobody responds. I know about the lies rushing back in too, the enemy saw and opening and shot all those fiery darts at you...thats why we are told to put on all the armor. The chat room CAN be a hard place to share...if you ever have something that good again hit me up with an IM cause I would love to hear it...and you will have something that good again
Surrender....sometimes seems like i got to do it minute by minute...if not more
Only those who obey can believe and only those who believe can obey.
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humblevisitor - Posts: 112
- Location: Alabama, USA
- Marital Status: In A Relationship
Re: Zemi's journal - Day 11 - I surrender all
Hey Zem
We all know the analogy of glass half full / half empty ... that is what came to mind reading this post , which , by the way , I find it excelent , for this is the stuff I need to hear (or read) ... It is called sharing REALity the way it IS , and not , "sugar-added" stuff .See , it is experiences like that that wakes me to the days I used to be , and it kinda puts me back in the "right" place again , things like ...
There was a time when I used to be a circuit speaker at "conventions" and "special" gatherings , and afterwards ("the speech") we'd have a what my sponsor called a "kiss the bride session" ... ok , its a hand shake ceremony ok ? I would get anywhere from 400 to , at one time 1000 comments (yeah , it lasted an hour !!!) ... Here's the thing , one day , for one reason or other , this person (one) just "skipped" my hand and went directly to my sponsor's instead .... OOOOHHHH BOY !!! .... next thing I knew I was at the library looking for books on how to tie a noose !!! you get the drift !
A week later (i don't hold grudges long ) I heard my sponsor telling me ... " what about the other 399 that DID shake your hand ... ?"
At another time ..... again , one person mentioned something I didnt care to hear while others just shook hands and didnt say ANYTHING .... HAH !!
Same "lecture" from sponse ... (what about the other .... "
What others do (or don't do) is none of my biz , my biz is what I do , or share ....
Once again thanx for the reminder
Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord
vahn
We all know the analogy of glass half full / half empty ... that is what came to mind reading this post , which , by the way , I find it excelent , for this is the stuff I need to hear (or read) ... It is called sharing REALity the way it IS , and not , "sugar-added" stuff .See , it is experiences like that that wakes me to the days I used to be , and it kinda puts me back in the "right" place again , things like ...
I mentioned it in the "______" ... nobody replied or said anything in response,
There was a time when I used to be a circuit speaker at "conventions" and "special" gatherings , and afterwards ("the speech") we'd have a what my sponsor called a "kiss the bride session" ... ok , its a hand shake ceremony ok ? I would get anywhere from 400 to , at one time 1000 comments (yeah , it lasted an hour !!!) ... Here's the thing , one day , for one reason or other , this person (one) just "skipped" my hand and went directly to my sponsor's instead .... OOOOHHHH BOY !!! .... next thing I knew I was at the library looking for books on how to tie a noose !!! you get the drift !
A week later (i don't hold grudges long ) I heard my sponsor telling me ... " what about the other 399 that DID shake your hand ... ?"
At another time ..... again , one person mentioned something I didnt care to hear while others just shook hands and didnt say ANYTHING .... HAH !!
Same "lecture" from sponse ... (what about the other .... "
What others do (or don't do) is none of my biz , my biz is what I do , or share ....
Once again thanx for the reminder
Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord
vahn
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vahn - Posts: 809
- Location: Earth (STILL !!)
Re: Zemi's journal - Day 11 - I surrender all
(((((((Pine)))))))) ..... it's kind of nice in a weird way knowing others have also "been there" ... it can feel (which i guess is another lie from the enemy) that it's only because i'm "so bad" that I feel or think those things or react in certain ways; and that since i react in them I can't go near anyone including God and so on ................. yeah writing that down does make it seem like that's definitely lies from the enemy and not God's truth ....
his little girl ................. i like that image; learning to like that image thanks Pine :hug:
((((((Humble))))))))))) thanks, especially for your comment about surrendering minute by minute; I think it's easy to get this idea that it's a once and for all thing - which it was initially as well but now we need to keep making that decision and live a surrendered life. I got some unsettling news today; and right away I went into trying to take back control even though I have absolutely no control over the situation... then I was sitting staring at the title of this thread "i surrender" .... yes; definitely a moment by moment thing -- and i fall down, I get up ..... and surrender all over again. Thanks also for the reminder about the armour of God. Funny I was reading a fiction book the other day and in that the character was putting on the armour of God with her son; not sure ... I don't know that it "comes off" but I can see how the visual and verbal and mental reminders would help to make us more aware of the protection we have in Christ. Arm ourselves rather than go in on our own ..... hmm, more to think about and act on and yay; i hope there is more good things to share; hmm no I don't just hope I know there will be
((((((Vahn))))))) the example you gave with the one person who didn't shake your hand .... yup that would be the one I picked up on as well; and dwelt on and worried about and and and so on. Just like I could hear 100 positive comments and they'd go totally over my head; but the one negative one I'll jump on and spend the next week going over and over it working on doing better with those kinds of things; and the one I wrote about in here ......... I know it's definitely an area I struggle with and need continued work on though.
I like that reminder you gave as well
funny in a way; i'm talking about surrender, and yet in this what I do is the one thing I can control; not what others do ................ and if i take it further; the one thing I can do in taking control is ..... surrender
Hmmmmmm
glad you got a reminder also
bless you!
his little girl ................. i like that image; learning to like that image thanks Pine :hug:
((((((Humble))))))))))) thanks, especially for your comment about surrendering minute by minute; I think it's easy to get this idea that it's a once and for all thing - which it was initially as well but now we need to keep making that decision and live a surrendered life. I got some unsettling news today; and right away I went into trying to take back control even though I have absolutely no control over the situation... then I was sitting staring at the title of this thread "i surrender" .... yes; definitely a moment by moment thing -- and i fall down, I get up ..... and surrender all over again. Thanks also for the reminder about the armour of God. Funny I was reading a fiction book the other day and in that the character was putting on the armour of God with her son; not sure ... I don't know that it "comes off" but I can see how the visual and verbal and mental reminders would help to make us more aware of the protection we have in Christ. Arm ourselves rather than go in on our own ..... hmm, more to think about and act on and yay; i hope there is more good things to share; hmm no I don't just hope I know there will be
((((((Vahn))))))) the example you gave with the one person who didn't shake your hand .... yup that would be the one I picked up on as well; and dwelt on and worried about and and and so on. Just like I could hear 100 positive comments and they'd go totally over my head; but the one negative one I'll jump on and spend the next week going over and over it working on doing better with those kinds of things; and the one I wrote about in here ......... I know it's definitely an area I struggle with and need continued work on though.
I like that reminder you gave as well
What others do (or don't do) is none of my biz , my biz is what I do , or share ....
funny in a way; i'm talking about surrender, and yet in this what I do is the one thing I can control; not what others do ................ and if i take it further; the one thing I can do in taking control is ..... surrender
Hmmmmmm
glad you got a reminder also
bless you!
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Zemirah - Posts: 130
- Location: God's Kingdom
- Marital Status: Waiting on God
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