Christianity Oasis Forum

[Diane]

I am at a loss. My teenage son is angry. I say things that bug him. I do things that bug him. Im not the only one that bugs him. His younger brother, his father, a team mate that is temporarily staying with us bothers him. The teammate asks him why are you in such a bad mood? Why are you angry? He swears, uses profanity, and criticizes alot. He talks back about everything. He puts down his younger brother. I tell him to stop. Yesterday I remained calm until he said something to his brother that triggered me. His brother wouldnt get off the xbox when his time was up. So he swore and called him names and wouldnt stop. Then he told his brother to go research suicide. That is not how my son used to talk. He has been spending time with a kid from an unhealthy family. This kid swears and is super critical of my son and everyone etc. It is the only friend my son has made since my son is new. I was told by this kids grandma that his dad was so mean as a high schooler that a girl committed suicide because of him. I am scared. I told him last night to go to his room and he said no. I told him if he is not going to follow the rules to get out. He went to the garage. I went out later and told him that I am very concerned about why he is so angry. I told him about the kids dad and that I am concerned that this kid is being mean to him and that is why he is so angry. He had tears in his eyes and said to me "you dont like my friends. you think they are bad. they are not the problem. you are the problem. just leave me alone." So I went back in the house and cried and decided to leave him alone. This morning I told him I didnt like the way he talked to me and that I was very hurt. He didnt say anything. He started with his brother again and both of them making loud noises while eating breakfast to annoy each other. He reminds me of his dad, my husband.My husband has struggled with anger and gets in a bad mood real easy. Now my son is doing the same and I am so scared for him. I have not been a very good wife or parent. I have not submitted nor respected my husbands leadership because he was abusive. I have tried to compensate for his lack of participation by making the kids the number one priority. My husband is not motivated to interact with us. He sleeps alot. He has been trying to work on his stuff through therapy and church as I am. I am overwhelmed by the situation. I do not know what to do but turn my heart and cares to God. I am so scared for my sons because of what they ahve seen in my relationship with my husband. We both have issues, sins, mostly disrespect of each other, intolerance and criticism. Now I am getting back from my son. I pray for a better life for him and his brother. I have made mistakes and repented and asked for forgiveness but I am still accountable and dont know what to do. My son looks with such disdain at us. I told him he could go to talk with someone to help him deal with having parents that are the probllem. I dont know where we would go. My therapist does not specialize in family meetings, she is more of an individual counselor. I hate that I feel so down about this because I see how God has healed me and helped me in past issues but this is about my kids that Ive influenced for good and bad and I feel responsible for what I have caused and I am not capable of fixing them and afraid of where my bad examples might lead them. Please pray for my 15 yr old son and his brother that is 13. They dont deserve to be shackled with their parents mistakes. Thank you.

[Timothy]

Teenagers. That initself is cause for prayer.

We continue in prayer for your family. The Lord nows the problems.
We pray for correction in their direction.

[jayney]

Sending prayers up for you. I have teenagers and at times raising them can be such a challenge.
Praying for you to find whatever words it is your son needs to hear from you and for you to find the strength to keep trying.
Jay

[sbennett]

So sad to hear you are struggling. Dont give up talking to your son and loving him. No matter what he says...tell him you love him but his behvior is wrong. Leaving him alone will not make it better. You are the parent, the adult, no matter what mistakes you have made in the past. See if your husband will sit with you and son to talk. Even if your son acts like he hates you....he will still hear your words and they will be on his mind. Talk to your pastor....or a youth minister about him. They might have some insight as to what to do. Keep praying and I will be praying for you and your son. God is right there with you.