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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby Tam » Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:32 pm

Amen sis!!!! Feels good doesn't it. You stay there and let him embrace you as much as you like. THere will be plenty of time to talk and tell Him everything.
So proud of you...Love ya
Even in the hardest of times...He is there holding our hand

see my web page here: Peace After The Storm
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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby kimby » Thu Apr 07, 2011 4:07 am

Last night I was in the middle of watching a tv show online when I felt Him asking me to stop and talk to Him. I was worried. I had stayed close to Him all day and really wasn't ready to risk my running because of what He might have to say. I put it off. I tried to ignore. I tried to convince myself He didn't mean 'right now,' but later.

It didn't work. He continued to ask, not becoming frustrated or angry with me, just gently calling. I hit a point where I could no longer say no. I paused the show, looked up at him, and tried to prepare myself. What was so important? What had He wanted me to stop what I was doing to talk about?

"I love you." That was what He wanted me to pause long enough to hear Him say. It wasn't a lecture, a reprimand, or a demand, but a declaration of love. He said He just wanted to tell me that. I was back to my show a few moments later, but with arms wrapped that much tighter around Him and a heart more likely to respond to His next call.
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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby Tam » Thu Apr 07, 2011 6:54 am

awwwwww Arent you glad you stopped and responded *hug*
Even in the hardest of times...He is there holding our hand

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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby stillstanding » Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:48 am

\o/ i love warm fuzzies!

God is soooooooo amazingly good!

*JesusSign* *band*
i am stillstanding...saved delivered and healed.
Gal 2:20
20 I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby kimby » Fri Apr 08, 2011 6:10 am

Last night I came home to something I never should have had to endure in my own home. The Peters apologised, and they do feel bad. They are boys, and they didn't realise. I understand that and I forgive them, but they still just don't totally get it. Their sorry's won't undo it.

I was angry and frustrated at the situation, but this time I saw it before it was too late. I started to take that out on Him. My initial reaction was to pull away from Him. Why? He didn't do anything. I wasn't upset with Him at all, but as much as I wanted to hide in my room away from all that went on downstairs, I wanted to hide from Him too.

I caught it this time. Hopefully that will make it easier to catch next time. I stayed with Him, in His arms where I belonged. Am I still hurt, bothered, annoyed, and all the rest of it? Yes. But at least I am not all alone on top of it.
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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby Tam » Fri Apr 08, 2011 10:57 am

Catching it is a big step and a good one. You will begin to catch them all quicker and quicker.
Look what the Lord has done in you sis! Growth going on :D
Love ya
Even in the hardest of times...He is there holding our hand

see my web page here: Peace After The Storm
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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby kimby » Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:39 pm

I have avoided it because I didn't want to risk the peace I felt just being with Him, wrapped in His arms, but I think it is time to start talking. I have started to feel restless with Him the last day or so, I can't ignore that without risking stepping out of His embrace all over again. It's not that we haven't talked..we have..but I have purposefully avoided the areas I know will be hard. I don't think I can continue to do so...as much as I would like to. I need to hear His thoughts on few things. I need to find out what He wants for me, what His plan is. It scares me because I know His plan might not be mine. And despite how many times it has been proven wrong, that little voice that insists that my way is better just hasn't learned to button it!
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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby dema » Tue Apr 12, 2011 8:22 pm

Wishing for a "Like" button. :)

God bless.
Hugs,
Dema
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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby kimby » Thu Apr 14, 2011 2:13 pm

I am so tired of things coming back up, things I thought were settled, things I thought were no longer a problem. I don't understand how they pop up out of the blue. Those things need to start staying put! I don't like having to deal with them all over again! Although it seems like it should be easier on subsequent rounds, it never is.
Had one of those little surprises pop up last night. I was enjoying time with Jesus, and then..there it was. The moment was spoiled, completely ruined. After last week's struggle to get to Him and stay with Him, to have it ruined in just a split second frustrates me. Now I feel like I am back again, fighting to get to Him, to find His embrace and stay in it.
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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby kimby » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:29 pm

I am so frustrated!!!
After being so close to Him, now I can't seem to get anywhere near. I have tried all I know to do, and yet the distance remains. I have a vague understanding of what the problem is, but no notion of how to repair it. What I do have is plenty of anger and frustration that He doesn't seem to understand or care how I feel about it.
Sigh...I miss cuddling up with Him.
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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby momof3 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:53 pm

Hi Kimby, God bless your heart. He is with you..its our emotions that get in the way. Give all this anger and negative emotions to Him, and trust what He says...which is...I will never leave you or forsake you. Sometimes, we just have to trust what He says even though we dont FEEL like its true. Our emotions are so unpredictable and unreliable. Thats the humanness in us....humaness that He totally understands, but wants you to just trust what He says. Surrender ALL this stuff to Him...including every little bit of anger of unforgiveness you may be holding on to. There are many seasons in our walks with the Lord...just trust He is with you and will use whatever it is He is leading you through to grow the fruits of His spirit within you. Dont give up...take a deep breath and tell Him you love Him and know that He loves you, too..eternally.

in Jesus,
love momo *hug*
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.
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Re: Kimby's Journal

Postby dema » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:02 pm

I know he is still there. I don't know how to always feel his presence. I don't know why sometimes when I have so definitely not deserved his reaching down and picking me up and hugging me, he has done so. I don't know why at other times when I absolutely know I have done my best, he seems to be hiding from me. I can feel him close by, but it is like he ducking behind tree trunks. I don't know. Someday we'll know. Someday.
Hugs,
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