Christianity Oasis Forum

[FindingmyWay]

*Pray* And so I inhaled and then paused again.
Guess it is fair to say that this is hard for me. Tears rolling down my face praying for God's grace. Anything is possible through Christ who strengthens me.

I don't know what to say, so I will just tell my story.
Over a year ago Nov 2009 I decided to leave my exhusband whom I was with for 12 years and 3 children. I fell in love with someone who I thought was my soul mate. I know now that I was so wrong.
With that being said, I was not happy in my marriage and wanted out.
I had decided maybe 4-5 years ago that things were not going to change and I needed to start preparing myself to be on my own.
My divorce was made final the end of Dec 2010 and for months I have been praying for understanding and going to church and even the library trying to find some answers.

In my marriage a lot of mistakes were made on both sides.
And even though I left I thought about the years and the children and tried to reach out to him to give it another try with no success.

Its hard to tell my story without giving the back ground.
So I will try and make it quick

I am a loving person and try to help anyone in need.
I love hard, I forgive often, I'm passionate and affectionate
strong but my heart is tender.

All the years we were together, I didn't feel any closer, heart and soul connected to him from year 1 to year 12.
Often felt like we were just going through the motions or we were just together because of the children.

My reasons for leaving: emotional abusive, he used a lot of I and not we or ours. His money, his vehicles. often he would say what have I done for him. He would shared our business (our arguments) with his mom, siblings, which I really didn't like. Often would say things to me in front of our kids. I don't know, these things just continued year after year and it was breaking me down. I couldn't take things staying the way they were.

And now I struggle with If I just could have been stronger and held on.
If I were more in God's presence that he would have kept my marriage together. I always tried to take my children to church and knew that if we were strong in lord that we would have a strong foundation. But my ex- often got mad at me and said not to push him to go to church.

So I meet someone new who I thought was my soul mate. I thought he saw my heart and soul. I felt as if Finally someone who gets me.
and to keep it short, I was totally wrong.
And so i'm left feeling fooled, tricked, stupid.
We didn't even last a whole year.
I feel like I can even trust my own judgement.

I realized that I know nothing. God knows everything.


I was reading the bible one day and I don't know what scripture it was but it said something like lean not on thy own understanding.

I am humble.

I never want to be in this place again.




I made it through step 1

[Guest]

Hey FindingmyWay,

I'm so glad your here and I can testify that the steps you are now taking really work. Just take it one day at time o.k?
I'm on step 8 (or is it 9) and the program is great. .

As far as your painful marriage and stuff we don't judge here, we just love
one another as family. I think the verse you want is

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Please keep on the path your on now. Join us in the chat room or in the other forums and there's always someone to talk to here ok?
God has a wonderful plan for you -you'll see!

Your in my prayers

Jeff David

[vahn]

Hello FindingmyWay

Glad to meet you , welcome to the Oasis .

What a mess huh ? , Well , you are in the right place , and you didn't "get" here by mistake .

There will be yet others , that will be coming along to be of help as well . Just like Jeff David and I , we will all have different aspects of your situations that we look at , but the bottom line is , that I would like to let you know that you are not alone in this .

What caught my eye in your post were the "What If's" , boy do have a lot of them .

One day I was doing just that , what if this and what if that ... all of a sudden this thought came to mind , WHAT IF , I mean really , I thought what if this really DID happen ? what then ???. you know what ? , I still did not have an answer

The point I'm trying to make is that it matters NOT how we got here , but if we to focus on where it is we would like to be let say ...14 days from now ???


Keep up the good work , you already won half the battle .


In Christ , our Lord
vahn

[em]

Your reasons were my reasons for the split, after 25 years. It's been 1 year and the one thing that has been difficult is missing my 18 y.o. and 21y.o. who are still at home. My sanity and self worth are very important. Church is such a big part of my life and I brought up the children ( I have 2 older daughters as well ) in the church as well. My husband wasn't a church attender, we were unequally yoked, and this posed a lot of differences in morals and values. You have tried to the best of your ability to make the marriage work. Now it's the Lord's time and all will be good sooner than later.

[lizzie]

yay you made it through step 1



Getting to the good stuff is worth the struggle it usually takes to get there. Keep going.

God bless you

[FindingmyWay]

On my way to Step 3

Thanks for the encouraging words
This is definitely a process.

But a much needed one

[Dora]

Praying for you. May you find the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Keep seeking. You're on the right path to finding your way.

love ya.

[mlg]

Hello findingmyway,

Welcome to the Oasis. A big for ya. Well can I say you are now in the stage of facing regrets...of where you have been and the things you have done...but you know what? The future doesn't lie in the past and with those regrets...the future lies in Jesus...His grace is new each morning...and I'm telling ya...He has grand plans for you. Right now you are in a spot where you will allow Him to really work in your life...everyone wants someone to love them...but Jesus already loves you...so soak up some of His love...find peace and joy in Him...and then can He bring you the true desires of your heart.

Praying for you.

Take care and God Bless