Christianity Oasis Forum

[fishing_girl]

ok, I am going to put myself out there and share what happened to me recently.....I guess I need some sort of guidance on how to handle the situation.

The other night I met the most wonderful man I have met in the longest time, it was a first in person meeting after talking to him for several weeks. I really like this guy and am afraid I have messed things up enormously.

We met on New Years Eve night, in person for the first time....maybe not such a good idea as drinking was involved........we talked, played some cards, listened to music and things were going well. A little bit of flirting early in the night. As the night progressed, I suppose both of us ending up drinking too much. I know I did, I'm pretty sure he did, but can't say for certain. Anyways, I knew I wasn't making it home that night, so I ended up staying the night.

Now this is where I failed, we were snuggled up together, kissing, and talking. One thing lead to another and it ended up going a little further than I would have allowed if I hadn't been drinking. We didn't take it all the way, but it was close.....I should have stopped him, instead of allowing him to proceed. Now I can't deal with what happened. I feel like I ruined something that may have been really good......

We have so much in common, I felt so close to him and pretty much told him so, I said a little too much in as much as admitting feelings for him. I know it was too much too soon but I couldn't help it. It just felt so right when I was with him and now I don't know what to do.....he wont return my calls and I really need to talk to him....

any advice would be helpfull.......

[dema]

First, pray and talk to God about it. That doesn't mean chanting a prayer over and over ... "Oh, God what do I do?" kindof thing. It means calm down, and sit and talk to God. It is best if you find a quiet place... set it up for prayer. Get a picture or a cross and a Bible and if it helps you feel closer to God, play some Christian, classical or new age music. And plan on just sitting for a while and making up with God. You don't have to say a lot - you know that God forgives you as soon as you ask in the name of Jesus. But you need some love and some hugs from God and you need to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself takes longer than God forgiving you. And you need some Jesus hugs to do that effectively.

This guy not returning your calls is for one day - right? New Year's Eve was just day before yesterday. He could have been out with his friends all day long watching football. Your calls actually may have caused him more concern than your behavior on New Year's Eve.

Healthy guys generally don't talk to women as often as insecure guys do. It is quite normal for a guy to wait days or even a week or two to call a woman that he really likes. It is a maddening difference of the sexes. Guys don't tend to learn to call every day until they are engaged. Let alone several times a day.

I imagine you have probably told him in your voicemails that you are sorry. He may be confused - don't know how much you talked to him about your feelings on this subject before.

If you get the chance, having an honest, no pretending conversation on what you expect from dating and how you view sex would be a good thing - keep it brief early in the relationship. You can really scare a guy off by getting serious too early. Saying I don't want to have sex until we get married implies that you want to marry this guy and could cause him to run for the hills. Saying that you believe that God intended sex as a very serious thing and that you feel that the two of you took it too lightly might be better at this point - but this is just a suggestion.

Please pray and let God lead you. Please stick with praying until you feel the peace of God. God still loves you, and he can fix the relationship if it is the right one for you - if you don't work so hard in trying to fix it yourself that you break it. Letting go and letting God can be very difficult.

Hugs to you. We're here for you. We love you - and most importantly God loves you. That's the most important thing of all.

[fishing_girl]

I would like to thank you for your response...I know what I should have been doing all along, as far as not calling him right away, but I guess I just felt a little insecure with everything that happened.

You are right and I do need to let go and put it into God's hands right now....He has heard me before and answered prayers hopefully He will here me now too!!

[dema]

[deetu]

hey girl, just want to be an encouragement too. Could be that he feels bad about it going as far as it did too and is uncomfortable. While you are asking God, pray for him too. If he was the one God wants for you, it will work out.
Nice to meet you

[mlg]

Hello fishing girl, welcome to the Oasis! You know...we all fall short of the glory of God...and that is why He has given us His grace through the blood of Jesus...He knew we would fall...and He wanted to be able to pick us back up and dust us off and put us back on the path. You know your mistakes...but God doesn't want you to sit and dwell on what went wrong...instead He wants you to take this as a learning experience and grow and see that He can still be in control, if you will allow Him to do so. Take time to talk with God about the situation, and ask for His direction and guidance. Then accept His plan and follow where He leads.

Praying for you.

Take care and God Bless

[fishing_girl]

where to begin???? there are probably so many weeds to be pulled, I'm not sure where to start. guess it's been a while since I have given this some thought...anyways I suppose I will for now just stop trying to doubt myself and try to let go of the fear....

[mlg]

Begin with one weed at a time...don't try and pull a bunch of them at once, as you might break a weed off and leave the roots in the dirt to grow again. Grab your shovel and dig deep, and get hold of those roots. Be patient with yourself...and don't let the task ahead overwhelm you. Lean on the Lord, and ask for His help as you begin this arduous task.

Take care hun

[Tam]

step by step sis....one weed at a time. They didn't get there over night and I am quiet sure you will not get rid of them overnight....just today...
Take them one day at a time. Trust Him to show you where you need to start. If the big ones are overwheloming...start with the little ones and work your way up.
Prayer are with you..
Tam

[Dora]

Doubt and fear is a good place to start.

Praying for Gods ministering spirit to reveal to you His ways.

God bless and keep you.

[Angel42]

Hi fishing_girl

I want you to know that it will be okay. The devil is a liar!! Please remember that we all have failed God's test in more ways than one, but he is a forgiving God. All you have to do is ask God for forgiveness. If he is the person God wants you to be with, God will make a way. God knows your heart!!

Be blessed!!

[fishing_girl]

just wanted to say thank you for your support and encouragement...I think it will be ok....