Christianity Oasis Forum

[favored1]

I've looked at several web sites and I wasn't able to find what I was looking for, until I came to yours. I read the information about the 14 day program and it sounded great. I prayed about it and here I am.

What lead me to seek counseling was past issues. A few days ago, I realized that I had unforgiveness in my heart. I was raised in the church, so I know that I have to forgive, but I need HELP!

What's bothering me:

I met my little girl's father when we were both 19 yrs. old. We had our daughter when we were 21 yrs. old. We've had a lot of issues in our relationship. He pretty much replaced my daughter and I with another woman and then they had a child together. I could go on for days talking about the issues that occurred, but to make a long story short, I forgave him and myself for everything that had happened.

In the beginning of 2006, because our relationship was so bad, I quit calling him. He would call and talk with our daughter and he would still help take care of her. For the first time, I felt that I was over him and was moving on with my life. After several months, I decided to call him (I don't know why). We talked for awhile and he started calling me, our relationship had tremendously improved, we actually became friends. I couldn't possibly describe how much the relationship had improved; I knew that it was God. I prayed and asked God if he was my husband and I believed God said yes. In June 2010, I was at home and I heard a voice telling me to call him and ask him if he was married. I called him immediately and I asked and he told me yes, he had got married in March of 2009. He called several times and was very disrespectful, so I decided that it would best for us not to talk again.

I thought that I had forgiven him and myself, but 5 months later, when I told my sister that I didn't want to see him, or talk to him, or see a picture of him, I don't want to hear his voice, and when I think of him, it's with total disgust. I realized that I hadn't forgiven him for any of the issues that we've been through.

I'm finding it hard to forgive because we have known each other for 17 years and we've been through so much and he had no intention of telling me that he was married. In the last 3 years, we've talked to each other 3 or 4 times a week and still he never said anything. It made me feel very much disrespected.

So, I need HELP. I refuse to allow the enemy to have any control of my life.

[Dora]

hello favored1

Glad you were led here. Praying for you.

When you think of him turn your thoughts towards Jesus and what he went through so this man could be forgiven. Wrap yourself up in the Holy Spirit.

His will be done. We as humans tend to fall back to unforgiveness. Cause we are self centered. But God is good and willing to help us through. With Him you can forgive and let go and find more peace and joy through it.

God bless and keep you dear one.

[favored1]

Thanks, that really does help. I will turn my thoughts to Jesus. I trust and believe God will work all things out for those that love Him. Weeping may endureth for a night but joy cometh in the morning.

Thanks again for your words of encouragement.

[whitefuneral]

I know that I am much older than most members here , but believe me , i am as immature in my lifestyle and walk as an infant. My main failing is in the area of DISHONESTY in ALL MY AFFAIRS and I am praying for seemingly the trillionth time that i will FINALLY surrender ....

[Dora]

Hello Whitefuneral. Welcome to Oasis. You are in the right place. I stopped and prayed for you. I have faith God will heal you.

Isn't it interesting how Jesus said your sins are forgiven instead of saying you are healed.

[Dria1983]

Favored1 I completely understand were you are coming from my ex husband did the same to me except he cheated with girl when were together and then recently I found out they got married although the fact he was married didn't bother me it was the fact that he married her. When I suspected she having an affair with my now ex husband she told me it was none of my business and to talk to him. Yet she feels the need to contact me and tell me how I have to forgive him and let him see his son whom he has only called 3 times since 2009 once was on my birthday the second time was when he found out I was getting married and then when he found out I was pregnant with my daughter. This past november he called my son on his birthday because he mom told him to besides that he doesn't try to talk to my son and he has never done anything for him a couple of years ago my son had meningitis and I called my ex's mom and talked to her because we are still close. I was so scared I thought I would lose my son they had him hooked up to all these machines he never called once to check on him yet she feels that she can throw in my face if I'm such a Christian why can't I forgive him and send my son to spend some time with him. And often I fight with if I forgive him does that mean I need to allow him to be a part of my sons life even though I know that he is going to use my son to try and hurt me. Something I am still fighting with, Lord knows I dont want hatred in my heart I want to live for GOD and I cant do that with hatred in my heart... Ill keep you in my prayers.

[Shan]

Whitefuneral,

Praise be to God that you've come to a place where you're being honest and wanting to change. We all have the choice to make who we will serve cause we're going to serve one or the other, God or Satan. And we all fall down but it's the Saints who get back up and push on, with dirt, scabs, bruises and scars to win the race. Prayers went up on your behalf.



Pine,

What did you mean by Jesus said you are forgiven and instead of healed? I'm asking as a child would ask! I know what the Word says but why did you feel led to mention that?

In Christ,
Shan