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forgiveness

Postby Guest » Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:15 am

This is definitely a stronghold in me. I can remember when stuff would roll off of me like water off a duck's back. I truly miss that. Going over the steps again is really letting things sink in a little deeper. Forgiveness. It's the unforgiveness that has caused all this paranoia in me. Guilt! I reak of it! It' is hard to release. That's why I probably want to escape my famiy. I don't know how to fix it! I also have shame. How do I overcome this? Another bad habit! Swap out? When guilt flares, do I choose to forgive? An act of my will and through prayer, I guess.
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Postby deetu » Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:40 am

Best to forgive...leave it at Jesus' feet and let it go...AND not pick it back up as you leave. That burden of unforgiveness is on your shoulders, not the one you are holding offense against so let it go...
then the shame and guilt will follow
*Buddy*
It is better to light a candle then curse the darkness *lost*
No fear... just freedom *knight*
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things are being shaken!

Postby Guest » Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:46 pm

Didn't exactly get off to a good start this morning. Skimmed step 5--will have to go over it again, later. I have become so lazy. I have become so self absorbed. I am wallowing in self pity I have prayed, asked for help, gotten excellent advise, the flesh is so not wanting to give over to the spirit. I have been my own god most of my life. I will not be defeated. The devil will not have me or my family. God will make a way where there seems to be no way. Life is hard enough as it is! When all else fails, follow the instructions!
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Postby anne marie » Fri Nov 12, 2010 2:27 pm

Hello Babs

Your posts sound as if you struggle so. I hope the second time on the steps is helpful to you in bringing you peace of mind. I too am on my second time. Forgiveness is sooo hard isnt it??? Forgiveness of self is probably the most difficult. I pray that God will bless you with peace. One thing I have learned in a most difficult way is that we do have to Let go and Let God heal. But alas, we must also let Him have time. Time to work miracles, while we continue to have faith in His plan.
Have a good day Babs
anne marie
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Postby Mackenaw » Fri Nov 12, 2010 2:37 pm

Hello Babs *hug*

God bless you this day.

Yes, yes and yes...but, you also didn't have a clear understanding of what "was" going on. The Holy Spirit is revealing things and giving you understanding, and you are "now" able to receive them. Hallelujah!!!

We all have what the world calls "Duh!" moments, but I don't even like to use that phrasing. I prefer to refer to it as "Ding, Ding, Ding!" moments instead, because I am not God, so why should I think "I should have known" when the revelations come from God. Thank You Holy Spirit for revelations and clarity of thought.

There is a story in the Gospel of John about a man that was crippled for 38 years, and his daily habit was to lay beside the Pool of Bethesda -- near the Sheep Gate -- awaiting a periodic stirring of the water by an Angel -- in hopes that he would be able to get in the water, first, and receive healing. Jesus happened by and healed the man and sent him on his way. I often think of that man. He had to have been so excited, so appreciative, so absolutely head-over-heels elated, but now begging and lingering no longer applied to or was appropriate to his new found condition...HEALED. That means he had to incorporate all new habits into his mind and life's walk and not only provide for himself, but for others as well. *Yikes* That could be a rather daunting thought and reality.

Remember, Jesus is still with us, through the indwelling of The Holy Spirit. He is still guiding us, comforting us, teaching us and yes, yes, yes LOVING us. He will provide the means in which to do anything we are called to do. Thank You Lord!!!

You are on your way, Babs, but you are not alone. The Lord is right there with you. Ask, Seek, Knock, Lean on Him and Believe only.

Prayers continue to rise to our Lord, on your behalf. God's blessed will be done.

*hug*

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Mack
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Keep it coming!

Postby Guest » Fri Nov 12, 2010 4:26 pm

Thank you, Anne Marie. Nice to meet you! Your note helped to put a song in my head. "Turn it around! Turn it around! Don't let the devil get you down. Turn it around, turn it around. Don't let the devil get you down."
Which then turned into "He's more than enough, more than enough. He is El Shaddi, the God of plenty. The all sufficient one, The Lord God almighty, Jesus is more than enough."
Ms. Mack, you're always having a song probably helped this, too! God bless you ladies!
Mack, my problem is that I have had a "duh" life. It doesn't want to change. I've been saying, "Thanks, but no thanks," to God! How "duh" is that? I am drinking the bitter waters of my decisions. However, the cross, the piece of wood thrown into to bitter waters can make them sweet! If I will but let it. I am tired of disrupting my family and having things my way. My way fails every time. I am ready to let go and let God. I just have to keep that in mind!
It's now a little bit later--tensions are high. Things are still stirring. There is definitely something going on here! Satan is a defeated foe and The Lord God Amighty is Supreme! My faith is being tried!
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What tha?

Postby Guest » Sat Nov 13, 2010 11:31 am

Today I feel calm. not happy, anxious, not really anything. Just calm. Haven't felt like this in years! I have been being tormented, as you may have noticed. I have to wonder if it has been God's vengence. I don't want to go there, again. Or did I put myself there because of the unforgiveness that I hold against myself? I know now that I. for the most part have had a wasted life. Not good. I know, pick myself up, dust myself off get going, again.
Ever so softly, God has been whispering to me, "My child. I only wanted the best for you. All along that is what I have wanted for you." Why couldn't I have heard or known or listened to this so many years ago? I guess it was easier to go my own way.
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internet difficulties

Postby Guest » Sun Nov 14, 2010 7:59 pm

After I posted yesterday, my internet connection went out. I tried favorites for the CCC and got in there. I cannot access the steps today I fell to pieced in the ladie's room at church. A freind of mine was in there and she ministered to me. It feels as though something has gotten a hold on me and will not turn loose. Or is it me that is holding on and refusing to release?
This morning I awoke to the realization that I wanted to control every aspect of my and my children's lives. Immediately I said ."God! Take it away from me!" He answered, "See what I mean?"
My husband and I are discussing putting our childre back into public schools. I took a nap this afternoon and awoke to a bold voice telling me, "Continue to homeschool."
I know that for every answer I have a legal pad full of excuses why that answer won't work. I have a tremendous problem with trust.
Got a brain cell, got the internet fixed, yeah!
Well, I did get to go to stone #7 after all. I actually wrote the folloing words down...True, honest, just, pure, lovely, good report, virtue, praise...think on these things.
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depression is lifting

Postby Guest » Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:44 pm

Stuff is finally sinking in. I feel much better today. I noticed the long faces of my children and decided that I would have to be the one to take the bull by the horns and get them going, again. This is not going to be easy as I have been pretty dormant for quite some time. I'm shakey, weak, and driven! I know that isolation is not good. I also came to the conclusion that indeed I had allowed the enemy to invade my thinking and take over my life. Dear Lord--please forgive me.
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Postby Dora » Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:48 pm

You go girl!!! :)


Sending up prayers for you. Seek Him every moment in every thing.

God loves ya and so do I!
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby Mackenaw » Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:34 am

Hello Babs *hug*

God bless you this day.

I'm happy to hear that you are seeing His Light and hope has been ignited in you. What a wonderful revelation The Holy Spirit has given you, in seeing how your spirit affects those around you, especially your children.

Therefore, if you are connected to The Holy Spirit, spirit to Spirit, then your childrens' spirits will pick up on those "Good, Good, Good, Good vibrations" too.

Keep the connection going.

God bless and keep you, Babs.
Love,
Mack
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Re: depression is lifting

Postby deetu » Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:19 am

babs wrote: I noticed the long faces of my children and decided that I would have to be the one to take the bull by the horns and get them going, again. This is not going to be easy as I have been pretty dormant for quite some time.

Remember the changes came slowly for them so you need to take your time and keep asking Holy Spirit for guidance.
*Hug9*
It is better to light a candle then curse the darkness *lost*
No fear... just freedom *knight*
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