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Stone #7 Know Your Mind

Postby dabs316 » Wed Nov 10, 2010 7:50 pm

This note pertains to #6 - I wrote up my Growth Chart, but I know I am set up to fail. But that's ok because I now know I can adjust things. The weird thing is that today would have been the 1st day that I start it. It seems like once I have written down some things for the Body - like one cup of coffee (I have to up it to two), skipping either breakfast or lunch, not finishing others' sentences, etc. - Wow! Just like the law, guess what I have been doing? Right-O. Exactly what I don't want to do. Doggone it. The law does make sin come alive. I feel like I have been so bad today.

Now for Stone #7, I need to grab hold of this one. It seems like it is basically like weeding and feeding, but you have to think about which portal (sense) of entry the sin came through. I'm a little confused about that. Today maybe because I have been feeling less negative and more "confident" about myself - I went into cocky or haughty mode (which I have done in the past). So you see, when I think I get a handle on things, I start feeling my "oats" (whatever that means).

I had thoughts about sister. I love her dearly, but she is one that is a leader; opposite of me. She likes people, likes to travel and is fun to be around. She has two daughters and one in particular is her best bud. We don't do things together much. I work using my phone so I tie up the line. Her husband called and left a message but I couldn't call just then. Then she sent me an email telling me her husband tried to call. Anyway, I don't know what triggered it, but I felt irritated, annoyed and felt that arrogance that I get sometimes.

So all in all, I failed at some of the things on my Growth Chart - pigged out. Then I feel haughty (without patience) and like my sister calling me was annoying (she was only asking if we wanted to go to an Amish Market on Friday) and then while I was typing I use a Voice Recognition program, and I threw a hissy fit because it was not recognizing my words. Let's just say my attitude was not of patience and was very ugly and if truth be told, an over-the-top scream fit.

I'm thinking how did all this happen today? It definitely started with an attitude of impatience this morning and mounted as the day progressed. I don't know if any of this makes sense.

I'm trying to work this out in my mind. However, I did not come to the Lord and seek His guidance and ask for forgiveness. It's as if I gave myself permission to have a temper tantrum which ultimately was against the Lord. Not good. Why can't I be balanced? I have come so far with weeding, forgiving others and forgiving myself. I felt a little headway, but then I take liberty as if to say I can handle this from here, God. Thank you, very much. I know I need to nip this in the bud right now.

Prayer: Father, help me to understand where this spirit of rebellion is coming from. It smacks in the face of everything You are teaching me and the grace You are showing me. Yes, satan, I'm sure is the author but I allowed the sin to go on. Why did I do that? Patience You say builds character; well, my character stinks. So maybe You are just revealing to me what is in my heart. I have to ask, do I only want to become more confident in ME or do I really what Your Spirit controlling me? I do want Your Holy Spirit controlling me.

I'd appreciate any input on this ridiculous day!
Therefore if any man be in Christ he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2Cor5:17
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Postby momof3 » Wed Nov 10, 2010 9:51 pm

heya dabs, know what? you are so not alone. we fight our flesh every day! Some days are better than others and some days..wow..its like the enemy of our souls is hittin us with every arrow he's got. Remember where Paul says something like...that which i would do, i do not..and that which i would not do, i do ....? Oh, wretched man that i am...the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. But...God's grace is sufficient and He works in and through our weaknesses.

Dont give up. Remember that you are in a race..and fight the good fight one day at a time..sometimes one minute at a time. Ask the Lord for His forgiveness and ask Him to show you what He would have you know in these times..He is showing you daily..woohoo! He works in mysterious ways..even by showing us things we need to be more cautious of. Remember also, that no good thought is from ourselves. He is revealing things about you to you that He wants to work on..so..learn and grow as He leads. We arent perfected in one day, one year, or ever in this lifetime..but from glory to glory, day to day, He changes things in us to make us more and more like Him.

in Jesus,
luv momo *Halo*
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.
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A day to learn from

Postby dabs316 » Thu Nov 11, 2010 6:10 pm

Yesterday was a day I couldn't figure out why it happened. After thinking, praying and asking for forgiveness. Here is what I get.

1. God is letting me make a choice about WHY I want to be set free. Is it for His glory or mine? I'm glad this surfaced. Yes, it is about God, not me.

2. The haughty spirit is from the author of the one who wanted God's glory. I reject that. I asked and have received God's forgiveness. He reminded me that when my emotions start erupting, I need to stop and give it to Him and ask for His help and patience.

3. In the past, after an episode like this, I would run from God and nearly literally beat myself up with condemnation for a good while "until I felt I had paid the price" for the things I did wrong. This was tough, BUT I made a conscious effort to believe God has forgiven my past, present and future sins. I am wrapped in Christ's righteousness. God saw my sin before I committed it. He loves me. THAT is so amazing to put into practice!

So from my "out of control" day, God taught me quite a bit. I want to click my heels.

So today, my husband and my sister were emailing each other back and forth just joking stuff. She ended hers by writing "LMAO." Well, my husband searched all day to figure out what that meant. Well, I'm sure you all know. Anyway, he told me he wrote her back, "I love it when you talk dirty." He said "just to let her know he knew what LMAO meant." Well, when he told me that a lot of negative thoughts started stewing in my mind. Like this is not right. I felt put down. I was going the route to beat myself up. Like they have this little "joke" behind my back. After thinking about it and forgiving, I realized I needed to speak to my husband and let him know how that made me feel. I did it without condemnation and with forgiveness in my heart. He loves the Lord. He is faithful. He is a jokester and sometimes will cross the limit, just to get a laugh especially from my sister. He truly was sorry and asked me for forgiveness. No problem here. Wow! Before today I would have lived with that, let it eat me up and have satan tell me somehow I was not enough. I stand amazed, again. God is so good for revealing to me truth and wisdom and blessings.
Therefore if any man be in Christ he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2Cor5:17
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Postby Mackenaw » Fri Nov 12, 2010 5:35 pm

Hello Dabs *hug*

God bless you this day.

I want to share part of a song with you. "What a difference a day makes" as sung by Dinah Washington (way, way back in the 50s) *Whistle*

What a difference a day made
Twenty-four little hours
Brought the sun and the flowers
Where there used to be rain

My yesterday was blue, dear
Today I'm part of you, dear
My lonely nights are through, dear
Since you said you were mine

Dabs, we really do need to take every thought captive. If it is not from God, flick it out. Remember, not every thought that comes into your mind is your sin. Satan tempts us all day long with thoughts, especially when it is obvious that we are seeking God. The tempting thought is NOT our sin -- it's Satan. It's only when we entertain (think on it too long) the thought and then walk in it that it becomes our sin.

Sooooooo, just because the tempting thought came into your mind, does not mean you have sinned.

And in the words of Deputy Barney Fife :) "Nip it! Nip it in the bud!!!"

We "nip it" by rebuking the thought in the name of Jesus. And then we choose the righteous. This can be done by praising The Lord, by reading His Word, and if the thought was about someone else, we can lift that person up in prayer.

It is evident that The Lord is working in you. Hallelujah!!! Keep fighting the good fight, Dabs. The Lord God Almighty loves you so very much. Thank You Jesus!!!

Prayers continue to rise to our Lord, on your behalf. God's blessed will be done.

I'm happy for you, Dabs. *hug*

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Mack
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Postby deetu » Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:26 pm

Woo hoo dabs!! Big step *Hug9*
It is better to light a candle then curse the darkness *lost*
No fear... just freedom *knight*
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Uncertain...

Postby dabs316 » Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:44 pm

Mack, I went to youtube and listened to the song, "What a Difference a Day Makes". Thanks. It is so true; you just never know. Only today I was a little uncertain how to handle things real time with people. Me and my husband went up to PA with my sister and BIL. For one thing my sister is very condescending to her husband, not always. I know they love each other but she always feels the need to be "right" regardless of how it hurts someone else. He's used to it, but I know it hurts and embarrasses him. He got lost. They had words about whose fault it was, etc. They seem to let things blow over and go on with things. But it is uncomfortable. I'm thinking "real time" how do I handle my thoughts of judgment which I know I shouldn't do? It seems like it is easier to figure things out after the fact, but then if I don't learn to grab my thoughts then and there and deal with them, they could get out of hand. I tried to remember that my sister is dealing with her own insecurities and that is just how she has always been. I don't like it. It's wrong. But it's not my issue. I did try to make a few comments to smooth over things or change the subject when possible. (Light bulb moment - a little late!) I think I'll pray for her and him; for a change of heart.

The other thing I noted is that being at home is a lot easier to be spiritually minded. I said a curse word jokingly, but I regretted it as soon as it came out of my mouth. It was not a bad one, but that's not how I want to behave.

Gbu all for sharing your thoughts.
Therefore if any man be in Christ he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2Cor5:17
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