Christianity Oasis Forum

[arken1]

Welp, I'm back. I have started messing up again, and I never made it on to step 2 or beyond, so figured I might as well just start from scratch.

I tricked myself / allowed myself to be tricked into looking at porn again. Not the same way I did before, but through other routes. Maybe something legitimate I searched had something bad mixed in, or maybe I searched for something on purpose that was "watered down" version of porn; regardless, I don't want it to happen again.

Frankly, I'm feeling a little tense about it this time. The first time I thought I was getting in under control. And now I realize it takes almost nothing to set it off again. I have to remember that story I quoted in my first Journal, it's one thing to acknowledge someone is good-looking, but it's another to fantasize about that person.

I would really like to hear from someone who is going through this. If anyone is out there, please don't be afraid to private message me. I think this is one of those cases where God said we need each other as much as we need Him to get through the problem.

[mlg]

arken... I pray that the Lord will help bring this struggle you go through under control. We are all here for you. Start working through the steps...one at a time.

luv ya

[vahn]

Hello again arken 1

Were kind of waiting for you , glad you made it back . Though I still sense a tinge of "I'm going to do it my way" , but it is ok .

You want solution(s)(s) right ? No arken 1 , it is not a silly question , there ARE some that just want to talk about there situation and some others want to solve the problem their "situation" is causing them .

Here"s the long and short of it : Steps ... Steps ... and ... oh , yeah ... Steps !

Did I by any chance mention Steps ??



Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord
vahn

[arken1]

Though I still sense a tinge of "I'm going to do it my way" , but it is ok .

If I were going to do it my way, I wouldn't have come back.

[vahn]

Ok , so , before this ends up to be a ping-pong thread , i.e. , a reply within a reply , which this time my thoughts are focused on diversion , here is the reason why I came to the conclusion of you still trying to do this your way ,

I would really like to hear from someone who is going through this. If anyone is out there, please don't be afraid to private message me.

that highlighted quote spells the outline of the course of actions you have preference to .

Just stick to the steps brother ok ? Let us hear what the steps have to say about your "situation" , not vahn or any one else for that matter .


Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord

[Mackenaw]

Hello Arken

Glad to see you again, Arken. God bless you this day.

Repent, seek The Lord, pray, praise The Lord, forgive others, forgive yourself and be renewed.

The enemy of our souls does not give up easily. But, you have The Holy Spirit to help you, Arken, so don't allow "shame" to come between Him and you. The Lord truly wants to help you.

If you have not visited the S.O.S. Forum, you may want to post in that Forum too. I agree with what you said:

I would really like to hear from someone who is going through this.

I truly am glad you came back, Arken. This is your home, and we are your family.

Prayers going up to our Lord, on your behalf. God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Sister Mack

[arken1]

If you have not visited the S.O.S. Forum, you may want to post in that Forum too. I agree with what you said:

Thanks, Mack, for the suggestion and support!

[arken1]

I've noticed something about people that claim to be gay, and also people in porn. They all seem to be unhappy. That doesn't mean they are frowning, but even their smiles have a twisted appearance. Their smiles are more like the Joker in Batman. They seem possessed, or controlled. I guess it's pretty obvious who is behind that, but maybe it's something I don't think about. Satan got in, the damage is done. I have to let myself heal. If I keep stopping the healing process Jesus is trying to do inside of me, and if I keep cutting the wound back open, it won't heal. God wants to heal it, and I need to let him.

[havingfaithagain53]

Hey Arken~

Well.. I can say I have no idea how you feel on the gay thing.... but on other things... YES! You just have to remember... to GOD... SIN IS SIN! No levels.... we are the ones who make the levels.

I do know how it feels to be controlled or should I say consumed by thoughts and actions of something that is very destructive. My biggest battles with satan came at a time in my life where I was living for the Lord and happily married. But, as satan would have it... he does everything he can to destroy families. He did mine. Praise the Lord, he didn't win the war! He ruined my life in ways that can't be restored, but... again... Praise be to God... he lost in the end.

I don't need to go into detail but let me tell you that I do know what it is like to have everything and lose it all. But, I also know the GRACE of God and the MERCY of God. Unbelievable!!!! Such and AWESOME God we serve!

Here is how it goes.... It sounds like you already asked for forgiveness, so now forgive yourself... and GO FORWARD!!! When satan tries to throw a thought in there .... immediately.... say..."GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN IN THE NAME OF JESUS!" Talk about working... it's great! You get the immediate response... he leaves! GONE! POOF!

After a few times of doing this.... you will see the results and then you will begin to see how easy things are going to be for you to destroy these things that are trying to destroy you. God loves YOU... He is there for you! He is EXCITED that you are FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT! Just keep remembering that satan only fights with those who are a THREAT TO HIM!!! You must be some BIG THREAT! LOL

Be proud that God is helping you see the TRUTH and then go forward and see what else is in store for you! I'm here to tell you IT CAN BE DONE! BELIEVE TO RECEIVE! If your doing the Christian Counseling ... don't stop! If your not doing the Christian Counseling... START! It's what opened doors I have never been through ... ever!

We are all here for you.. Praying the Lord keep leading you and healing you to be the best you can be for HIM...

Love & Prayers,
Linda

[arken1]

Thanks for the very encouraging post.
I actually have used a similar phrase, telling Satan to leave my thoughts in Jesus name, and it's pretty amazing how well it works. It certainly does work immediately. I guess he just cowers away so fast that his effects go right away with him.

As for "it can be done" - this is what I have renewed my strength in this battle with. I kept thinking..... "well maybe I'm just supposed to fail in this one part. I mean, I'm saved now, but this is something that started at birth, so I guess it is just a defect I have to live with." But now I see that's not the case. God will use this as my *big* thing, like you mentioned that you had with your family. We have to prove our faith.

I really shouldn't feel like I'm some special case compared to everybody else, although I do anyway. I just always think that this is something I personally can't control. If I didn't have God, I would have NO way out of this. Other issues (I'm not saying all) could potentially be resolved with a Psychiatrist, family counseling, addiction counseling, medication, etc. There is no such thing to get you out of homosexuality. But, at the same time, people who use those solutions without God are probably the ones who fail repeatedly anyway. The first person that comes to mind (and I don't follow pop culture much at all) is Lindsay Lohan. I just have this hunch that she is distant from God. Same goes for all the other celebs that "make it big" and can't control themselves. They are empty, missing something, can't quite fix themselves. Wait - that sounds like my life They (me) have to let God do the work.

[havingfaithagain53]

There you go... think positive! Your right about all those who are doing the drugs, drinking... etc... they are always looking for that FEELING OF TRUE LOVE. Well, we know where that comes from, and everyone of them do to.... they just choose to IGNORE the calling they all have on their lives.

Those that are in the depth of despair are seeking and looking for something they can SEE & FEEL with their eyes and hands. That is where our FAITH comes in.... believing in GOD when we have no way to FEEL or SEE Him in the physical world. We know He exists because we SEE His beauty all around us.... and FEEL His TOUCH in our hearts! Easy right? Not if you don't BELIEVE!

Do you really think God wants us to fail? Do you think He enjoys us in pain & sorrow? Not my God! Just keep reminding yourself WHO it is that wants you to FAIL and NEVER BE HAPPY with your life. Yeah... that LOSER the devil... He KNOWS where his FATE LIES.... He is just trying to make sure you go with him..... don't fall for that LIE!

Remember, when you get saved... your a CHILD OF THE KING! You have got to start acting like it now. We are God's children and when we fall, God doesn't pick us up and put a bandaid on us and tell us to go play. He picks us up and WASHES away ALL PAIN and ALL OPEN SORES WITH JESUS BLOOD... THEN SAYS... THERE... NOW YOUR GOOD TO GO. SHOW OTHERS WHAT I CAN DO FOR THEM TOO.

So start PRAISING the LORD for your TRIALS... that's what Paul did... instead of feeling sorry for himself .... he SANG... PRAISED... and KEPT on going even when he knew he was headed for more beatings ... more jail... more ridicule. Are we better than Paul to think we shouldn't suffer a few things for God? Heaven Forbid!

So.. stand tall and remember who your FATHER is and why He saved you! You've got many souls that are counting on you to help them through more than you can imagine.

I'm praying for you to see God's Power in your life like you've never seen it before! Get ready for the doors to be open to a NEW YOU! One that you will see that can do ANYTHING that God's ask you to do.

Love & Prayers... Always,
Linda

[Tam]

Hi Arken
Have you checked out the SOS program. There is also a forum for that that you may be interested in .
Here is the link for it http://www.christianityoasis.com/Member ... .php?f=137
You keep pressing in and don't give up. Greater is HE that is within you than he that is in the world.

Prayers are with you