Christianity Oasis Forum

[ciny]

Stepping stone day four

I enter this stepping stone day 4 with an open mind i open up my spirit man to learn and grow
in you Lord God.

This area is a hard one but it is achivable... I can do all things thing through Christ who
strenghtens me!!!!!philippians 4:13

So iam looking at forgiving my self it is a deep root in my life its has made a mess in my life
big time i felt unworthy to God guilty of thisng that i didnt do and guilty of holding on to my past
failures.i was beliving a lie that other people sins were my fault plus my own..im oly accountable for
my sins.

Today i pull out the big shovel Gods word and start digging up the root of unforgivenss one by
forgetting my past and reaching for the things that are before me.
a little saying i herd and it is my prayer.........The olny way my past is going with me is in testimony
form olny........

Phillippians 3:13-14
Breathren,I do not count my self to have apprehended;but one thing I do, forgetting those things
which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,i press tword the goal
for the prize of the upward call of God,in Christ Jesus.

as i sit hear and do this step my thoughts go back to 15 years ago when i had a nervous break
down it was a dark time i did;t see a way out all hope was lost im my eyes i was hearing vioces
and beleved what they said if i had listen to some of the stuff the voices told me to do i would not
be hear today i would be dead i kept calling out to the Lord to Jesus and pleading the blood of
Jesus.
A former pastor came to see me in the hospital Pastor Ron i told him i commited a big sin and
was going to hell i told him he was wasting is time to go help some one that could be helped
he prayed with me and told me thats not what God showed him and was telling him.....that i was
going to help others out that were going thrue what i was going through and God was going to
put the words im my mouth and i would have Godly wisdom.....i have to say that i see now what
he saw in me then.......
I feal a weight lift off my shoulders and my mind the enmy whispered in my mind and tryed to
get me to belive that God didnt want me any more what a lie that was......................................

I'am putting on my Garden gloves and pulling this weed...........................................................

I replace this weed with truth i ask my loving and merciful father to to forgive me for holding on
to this lie of feeling unworthy this sin of self pity and not forgiving my self. In Jesus name i
thankyou for rembering it no more...........amen

[ciny]

Im still on day four

Thinking about yesterdays's journal entry about the nervous break down
and how i thought telling Pastor Ron to go finde some one elts to help that
could be helped.
because i thought i could not be forgiven and felt unworthy of God,s forgiveness.
as im cleanig up the Garden God's garden i didnt realize until yeaterday
i was still carrying the guilt that i didnt deserve God grace or his forgiveness i have to pray again and repent and grab hold of that weed and pull and ask God to me to pull it with all my might and strenght and Gods strength. in Jesus name this is a hard thing for me heavenly Father i can do it with you. amen

[Dora]

Praying for you ciny.

I have a note on my computer from a friend. I'd like to share it with you. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. It says, "You can change everything that is negative by effective Faith and Prayer."

Today is a new day. Washed clean.

Focus on what He did so you could be forgiven instead of who you see yourself as. It's not about what we did but about what He did.

I love watching God work in you. You listen to Him so well. You are so in tuned to Him. It's wonderful. Brings me joy.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Ciny

God bless you this day.

Ciny, you are not the only one with a past -- we all have them. All of us, also, have those wandering thoughts of our past and they come up, from time to time -- you know, those that sort make us shiver, because we wish it/they had never happened.

I don't consider those "wandering thoughts" as walls or strongholds, but just some random thought that got hung up in our internal works somewhere -- like a missing sock when it suddenly turns up again.

Isn't it wonderful that we have our Lord Jesus? Awwwwwww, He is so Good and Loving, and His grace is forever reaching. All we have to do is receive it. Thank You Lord.

Ciny, you are doing beautifully on the CCCC/Path Study. And, isn't it awesome to see Pastor Ron's prophecy unfold right before your eyes. Wooooooohooooooo!!! Thank You Lord!!!

God bless and keep you, Ciny.
Love,
Mack

[mlg]

Ciny...I don't think any of us are worthy of God's grace and forgiveness....but I do think that we deserve God's grace and forgiveness if we believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that He died on the cross for our sins.

The enemy will plant weeds of doubt...trying to draw us into a trap of unbelief....then he can start pounding away at our faith...but if you know that you know that you are saved....then ever time the enemy comes knocking...send Jesus to answer that door.

luv ya

[ciny]

I have been working on this for a long time
i use to sit around and think of ways to get revenge .....this thought would come in my mind.....(The still small voice of God).....would say now would i do that I love them to I died on the cross for them to.....part of me didnt
like what he was saying i even thought he cant be saying that to me they abused me.....
i would repent and try to love them them with the love that God was telling me about....not easy.....
iam taken back to a thougth when i was a kid out side playing with my brothers and a friend i got mad at them and thought i will fix them when they come running by i will trip them i had the thougt the still small voice
that said now would i do that i needed to forgive them....

The anger I have is getting better I have alot of room to grow..............
this is how i know im getting better......I have people tell me God will get
them back cant't you wait until it happens...or dont't you wish them dead

My answer is no...i want them to find Jesus as there Lord and savior to see them deliverd and set free.... Jesus died on the cross for the whole
world.

i started out Just praying for God to take the hatred for them away and then he told me to pray for them.........it was hard to do!!!!!! now i pray for there familys to for them all to be saved.
blessings Ciny

[mlg]

I recently shared with a friend...that God never wants us to go through pain and suffering of abuse...but that the enemy will try to get to God by harming His children. Once we begin to realize that God wants us to forgive so He can have His child back...is when we can begin to accept that we need to follow the steps in order to get our God back as well.

luv ya ciny

[ciny]

Today i have an appointment with my new therapist @ 1:00 a little nervous it is a step up for me it is a on line counselor with chatt before i was only emails she is a christian counselor with the same back ground as me so that will help. i have problems talking to people to there face
this site has helped me to step out a little more.
i will let ya all know how it goes,
there is a lot of stuff going on in my family and some of the stuff is triggering past abuse issues insted of stuffing it like i do alot im going to do something diffrent have God take it this is what this stepping stones is
about letting go letting God take care of it and getting the weeds out so i dont get choked out,thats what i have been learning and getting out of it so far. some times i have to stop and think and pray about stuff before i move on to the next stop so many times i go through stuff to fast and miss the mark some times i just have to slow down. it will probly take a year to get through thease 14 stepping stones. thats ok i will come out wiser

[Dora]

Ciny sometimes we have so much to apply the steps to that we can't work on it all at one time. So we just redue the steps and reapply them to the problems we are dealing with at the time.

It's not instant. It's a walk.

Love you much.

[mlg]

Ciny, I think that when we have been through a lot in our life...we can often have many issues that are unresolved. Abuse can feel so devastating...but when we realize that God wanted none of that to happen to us...and that the enemy only wanted to get at God by making those things happen....we can then see that we don't have to sit on all the hurt and pain...but that we can begin to let it all go to God...one step at a time...one day at a time...keep trudging along.

luv ya

[ciny]

Stepping stone day 6
Miricale grow............theres a man and his wife at my church and my teachers
at bible school that have been a positve role models in my life teaching the us to
pray the scripture and applying it to our life...this step makes me think of them

I thankyou and praise you Lord God for putting people in my life to help me
to grow in your word and to guide me and point me in the right direction.....
amen



Fretilizer the word of God is the best thing for the Garden of my life for it to be
stronger and healthier and more friuitful the weeds have robed robed my soil
of nurtients it needs iam thriving to live and produce good fruits in my life.

So hear i am replacing the bad in my life with Gods word so i can produce
fruits of the Lord.
i am made up with three indivitual parts.Soul,spirit,and boady........................
i need to strenghten my by getting the word into it and praying the word and
belive what the word of God is saying to me.......because what i belive is what i
will recive...

I turned the scriputures into prayers thats why they sound diffrent.......................


Mark 9:23 Lord God I belive all things are possible.........

Mark 11:24Lord God i belive what your word says and recive what iam praying for as being
done.

Matthwe 21:21 I replace doubt with faith i control my thoughts right now in Jesus name
i cast doubt and fear out of my mind right now and cast in into the sea

Romans 12:2 I control my thoughts in Jesus name iam no longer conformed by the
world but i'am beibg transformed by the renewing of my mind so that ye may prove what
is good and acceptable and your perfict will in my life.

Romans 7:25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord so then with the mind I my
self serve the law of God,but with the flesh the law of sin..........

Father forgive me for serving the flesh the law of sin from this day on i will press on
to serve your laws God.my spirit is willing Lord my flesh is weak.i will train my
self to serve you with all my mind soul and body.

[ciny]

Not my normal entry for my Journal but it is a prayer on my heart for today...........


Dear God as we go into this day together I speak it as a positive day

i did not fumble into this day i'am walking into the atmospher of the day

i speak it into existance my words are going before me and pave the way

for me to have a great day......