Christianity Oasis Forum

[Tam]

Well I was sitting at work and thinking and these thoughts crossed my mind this morning.
Seems like not to long ago people would get one word answers and kept away at arms distance. Seem like the walls were so tall and thick that they would never come down, nor did I want them down.
Didn't have anyone holding me accountable (they tried but I would not let them) and thought that I could do it on my own. Even tried and failed big time.

It wasn't until I realized that I had pushed EVERYONE away, God, my children, my family, my husband, you guys EVERYONE. That it was cold and alone out here and that I needed people, I needed GOD. I thought that I could do it on my own, but boy was I wrong. SO in opening up and being honest with you all here in my journaling, it has really helped me to keep my focus.

I know that I can not do this alone and that we were not meant to be alone. I know that we all need someone to hold us accountable and we need to let them hold us accountable. Am I saying my days are easy?
Lord no! Just scroll up and read, you will see that I am still faced with crud. But this time as the crud comes, instead of allowing it to slap me in the face and beat me up, I turn on the crud and beat it up with what GOD has promised me and I let HIM have it. It is all in how I face it now. If I face it with a defeated attitude, guess what, I am defeated. BUt If I face it as a victor....then I am victorious. You to can do this.

I sit here and thank GOD for how far He has brought me and for placing all you in my life. You guys rock! Oasis, for taking the time to write all these studies for us so that we can learn THANKS could never be enough. Phan for keeping this place safe and running THANKS is not enough either. and for all the SHEEP here, overseers and sheep, THanks for being His vessel and for allow HIM to use you in ways you may never know. (yes everyone is used in one way or another even when you don't think HE could use you)

If I can learn to Love Him, Me and you guys, then I know that anyone can. You just gotta have the faith and trust.
TRUST......I know , we all hate that word and wonder how we can,(at times) BUT my friend that is where it is all at. That is where the rubber meets the road.
TRUST HIM for HE knows us better than we know ourselves and only wants HIS best for us.
Love you guys bunches and that is not just words anyone.
Tam

[mlg]

Hi sis You have come a long way...a very long way. I know you still have some struggles in your life...but knowing what you've already been through...I know that you can continue to overcome....because know you have that relationship with Jesus that will bring you the strength you need daily. So happy for you.

luv ya bunches

[Mackenaw]

I love you, Tam

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Mack

[Dora]

You are beautiful. Love you!

[deetu]

[Tam]

Well it has been a few days since I posted so thought I would post again. Thing have been going ok. This learning to trust and rely on God is really awesome. It puts life into a whole new perspective. Trusting Him a little more day by day and learning to hear His voice and know His ways for my life I think is a daily process, something that we will always be learning.
I can see where He has brought me from and know that that is somewhere that I do not want to return! Yes I still have all the daily trials that everyone else has but now I see them with different eyes, eyes that trust and know that someone bigger than I is in control.

Last night was a rough night, restless with nightmares when I was resting. Woke this morning to this unsettled feeling in my spirit. Not quiet so sure what is going on but have asked and waiting on answers from God. I am sure however that it is something trying to surface that needs a little attention, maybe I need to pull the weed eater out and do some more whacking. I am so willing to do that as I am aware of the fact that healing takes time and the onion gets peeled one layer at the time.

I suppose the waiting on the answer part would be the hardest thing now when used to be the having to face the issue was the hardest. Now that I am ready to face the issue and deal with it when needing to know what the issue is seems to take forever. Funny how God likes to teach us to be patient and to depend on Him totally for the answers we need to the questions that we ask.

You guys are so awesome and I thank God daily for bringing me to Oasis and letting people hold me accountable. I think that is where it all is at, having to be accountable to someone for your deeds and actions

[mlg]

Whew Tam...I used to have a very difficult time with being patient...but over the years...God has made me wait many times for an answer or a direction...and it is from all that waiting that I have gained the ability to wait and do so patiently. It really makes a difference in your life...when you know God will answer...in His time...and you can accept that fact. Peace and calmness resides where anxiety and fear once was.

luv ya sis

[ciny]

Hi Tam
I agree with you we are not met to be alone i recently did a study on that
we need eachother and when we are together we are stronger and the enemy has a hareder time getting to us when we stand together.

it makes me think of this statment United we stand devide we fall.

Iam hear to help you tear down your walls better yet we can help eachother to tear down the walls.

i am looking forward to walking with you in you healing journy to
Love ya sis thanks for your suport to,

[Dora]

Tam...thank you for sharing. Thank you for being real and admitting just cause the steps are done doesn't mean everything is all better. I hope as you continue through this journey called life you will continue to share with us your ups and downs.

[Tam]

OK It has been awhile again since I have posted.
Just trusting Him to lead me in the direction He wants me to go.

This will probably be the last post that you see here from me for various reasons.


I will stil be posting replies as I feel lead to others journals. Just not mine

THank you all for you input and those of you that offered words of hope and encouragement.
God bless you all richly
Tam

[ciny]

Hi Tam thats good to listen to what God has told you to do and to Go with
his leading.....
best wishes to you in this proud of you and support your decsion........

[Dora]

Tam you know I love ya and I call you my friend and my sister.

So please take these words with the concern that is felt behind them.

Don't allow the enemy to stop you from doing what God has called you to do.

A human is coming between you and your calling.

That's a decision you one day will regret.

You say you will continue to share, but it has already effected you. I can see you pulling back and hiding behind a wall of pain and anger. You can not reach or hear if you're hiding behind stuff.

Overcome or be overcome.

Who cares what others do or say as long as you have your eyes on the one that matters. Do it for Him! After all He laid down His life for you.

Love ya! Much!