Christianity Oasis Forum

[deetu]

[quote="angelbaby"]
If you've ever been to a non-Christian based counseling program of any kind, you'll be misguided into thinking that these reactions are normal

[Mackenaw]

Hello Angelbaby

God bless you this day.

Yea, when I first heard this, I too was like "say what?" But, I quickly reminded myself that I was unhappy and what I had tried up to that point in my life hadn't worked, and I had recently committed to seeking God and His ways.

Gulp, Gulp!!! Ok...HOW? How do I do this? And how does it work?

Angelbaby, what is shared in the Study is Truth, and the Truth will set you free. The Word of God is Truth, and Jesus is The Word of God. Jesus is Truth. He came to set the captives free, and He loves you, Angelbaby.

God is emotional, but our human emotions are corrupt, and they are corrupt by the sin nature that was born into us -- passed down from generation to generation -- starting all the way back to Adam and Eve, when satan deceived them. But, those of us who are born again -- have accepted Jesus Christ as Saviour -- we have the indwelling of The Holy Spirit and He is changing us...slowly. But we want healing right now, so it only stands to reason, that if we are willing, the process just might go a little quicker.

I'm mean think about it...let's say you need food, but refuse to go to the food, so a friend comes along and drags you to the food and then hand feeds you, or maybe even takes you to the hospital to be fed intravenously. You finally receive the nourishment your body needs, but the process would have been a whole lot easier and faster, had you willingly gone to the table and eaten the food.

Try to keep an open mind and heart.

Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

We don't have to stuff our emotions down, we carry it (whether it be anger, jealousy, fear, etc.) to God, and we give it to Him, trusting that He will handle it for us, in all His perfect ways.

Angelbaby, we simply cannot handle anger. It's poison to us, and it hurts us. Someone once said it this way. Holding onto anger is the same as us drinking poison and expecting the person that hurt us to die from it. We know that's not how it works, huh? Whomever drinks the poison is going to be the one that dies from it.

The message in the above scripture says this...Angelbaby, do NOT take revenge and don't hold on to your anger either, but instead give it to Me, your Lord and Saviour because, Angelbaby, vengeance is not yours, it is Mine. Trust Me.

Angelbaby, you are doing well with the Study, this time around. Keep seeking Him, and keep doing the study. God is with you, every step of the way.

Prayers continue to rise to our Lord, in the name of Jesus, on your behalf. God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Mack

[mlg]

angelbaby...maybe there are people that you can blame for what happened...but blaming only continues to keep us in the past...reliving the pain of the past day in and day out. This is why we have to stop blaming and start forgiving...forgivness is the way to bring yourself into the present...the present is where Jesus resides...it is where He wants to be in fellowship with you. Won't you allow Him to do so?

luv ya

[angelbaby]

Day six, I have very little to say. I have heard about controlling thoughts a lot. I typically have to focus on controlling my thoughts when I am having a panic attack it not something very new to me. I have had panic attacks since I was twelve years old or at least that is the first time I remember having one. Since I knew very well how to control my panic, I think that I have probably had panic attacks way before I was twelve years old. I have plenty of practice in controlling my thoughs of panic. The think that I like most about this lesson, especially if I follow through with it, is the miracle grow chart. I have renamed it "Responsiblity Chart." As I have said before in my journal, I was never really taught discipline. I ran things my way at home and for majority school. I do have probelms with school now because I let myself slide on many things, especially going to be at a descent hour. Though, I will say I do have trouble sleeping even if I go to bed a descent hour. Anyhow, I have started the chart today. We will see how long it lasts. I many a schedule chart, a good one. I made it; however, I have yet to stick to it. So, we will see if this is something I just made to make, or if I am actaully commited to this chart, I wish myself luck cause I don't really have faith in myself to do as I say I am going to do.

[Tam]

Angel you are making baby steps and that is good. Accountability, maybe having to be accountable to someone for the things you choose to put on your chart may help. All you need is faith of a mustard seed sis and I do believe that you have that. I believe that you can stick to your chart and I believe in you!
Looking forward to our chat tonight.
Have a blessed day and GO TO CLASS!
Love you
Tam

[mlg]

angelbaby...we have a choice and free will to choose our own direction...the things we want to do and the things we don't want to do. When you desire to be healed...yet don't want to do the things it takes for God to help you heal....then you end in a stalemate....God can help you....but you have to let Him....you mention you don't usually stay the path with things...because obviously you have "other" things you'd rather do instead....we have to die to ourselves daily...remove all the selfish thoughts and selfish ways...and do those things God wants us to do...and then and only then will we begin to see the true change...the one that lasts a lifetime.

luv ya sis

[deetu]

Yes, that's true.

You say you have always controlled your panic attacks by changing your thoughts BUT, now change them a different way. Believe that you can not only change them but have them healed. Don't just change the thought but reach for Jesus and Godly stuff to replace it so you have peace too.
trust...believe

And angel, don't make your chart too hard...unreachable so that you stop doing it. Take a couple things that you want to change and keep with them then add more. If you have too many big things that is impossible to reach, you will stop trying. Reading Scripture everyday isn't hard, especially if you get something with a prayer a day. Listening to Christian music isn't hard. The example chart has that kind of stuff.
What does your chart have on it?
little at a time

[angelbaby]

I have been so angry the passed few days. I began to feel that the progress that I have made was being unvalued and discounted.
I feel like that I am constantly being told that I am not good enough. I am not doing anything right. I am sick of it. I know that I am stubborn. I admit that. Things are going to take a much longer time for me to learn than others. This is not and will not be an overnight process for me. If God would proof himself to Gideon, I am sure he would to me. After all, he is the one that said he is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is also not a respecter of person's, meaning what he will do for one that is he is willing to do for another. As far as relationship with God, I am unwilling and will not just jump without a lot of trust being built. I have zero trust period for God. Besides, I am still angry with God so the fact at accepting the fact he loves me. You can't think someone loves you if you don't trust them. Trust comes before love. Once, you think you can trust them. A person is more likely to believe another one loves them.

As for forgiveness, I am no where close to forgiving anyone. There are still things that I have hidden away. I can't forgive someone until all the secrets and all the cards are out on the table. Things have been eating me up from the inside because I have held onto them for so long. Tonight, writing a letter to my bio-father explaining some details of childhood was a way to let out some of the anger and resentment. However, I only expressed one issue. I still have a lot more to let out at him. I still have a lot more to let out with other issues. As I said earlier, this will not be an overnight thing for me. This will take time.

I feel like that I am taking my journal back. I have gotten so caught up in commenting on every post because I felt obligated to. I am thankful for the post. I have said that, and I will say that again. I just felt so wrapped up in trying to respond to each post. Make sure that people realized that I read them. I didn't want to disappoint people that I began to feel as though the journal was no longer mine. I felt my thoughts were getting lost. I was spending more time responding than writing my own feelings. I began to resent that I was doing that. The fact is that I can't respond to every post. Sometimes, the things that I am thinking could hurt people's feelings. I just don't have a nice way to put it. I am sorry. So, I am following the old cliche. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Another reason, I just plain don't know what to say. I don't know what to think of the post. I read it. I read everyone. I just don't know what words to say. I have said this many times, "what am I supposed to say?" How do you want me to respond?

As for day seven, I have not done day seven today. Today, I think was a day to let out my anger. I started to withdraw again. I had decided that I didn't really need people, and people did not understand. Instead, as so often I do, I bottled my anger until it just spewed out. I am thankful that when the rage did come out it didn't hurt anyone. It came out in a safe manner. I will acknowledge myself for this because I have a tendency to take my anger out on other people. I will even admit that I was/did take my anger out on some people. I will even admit that I have thrown several hissy fits in the past couple of day. However, it was not as big of a mess as it has been in the past. I am also recognizing my actions for what they truly are tantrums.

And angel, don't make your chart too hard...unreachable so that you stop doing it. Take a couple things that you want to change and keep with them then add more.

I did keep the majority of the example chart. I changed one of them to be more realistic for me. I deleted a couple because it didn't make sense to me. I added a couple of things that I found were important to me. I agree with you that I have to be careful about what I place on my chart. I am very well known for setting my standard extremely too high, and then, I tend to punish myself if I don't met those standards.

Accountability, maybe having to be accountable to someone for the things you choose to put on your chart may help.

Now, what is the meaning of this word? Lol, I am just joking. I know the meaning of the word accountability. I agree again. Accountability is something that I have never had. I have always had my own standards and never really had to answer to someone else. I am actually curious what that is like.

No one is saying your emotions are not important. God gave you those emotions. So they must be important. The enemy likes to play with our emotions though and cause us much discomfort. We gotta learn when we are being played and when our emotions are being used properly. Being played is not fun. Down right torture to our spirits.

Ok, I am also going to admit. I live by my feelings way too much. My feelings often get me into trouble because they are not always accurate, or I allow my feelings to become bigger than they are. I also have issues when I stop expressing my feelings. I stew in my feelings like I have done for the better half of this week. I don't tell anyone. I don't express. I leave it for others to be mind readers. I just expect them to know how I feel. To be honest, that is such a trait of a three year old. Something, I learned about in Educational Psychology class this year. It is called egocentricism. Egocentricism is most common with early childhood children ages 3-5 and adolescents. Egocentericism is the belief that other people feel the exact same way you feel and/or have the same thoughts as you have. A trait is that any problem is all about you and how you feel. For example, the case study we did was about a well off teenage boy, named Todd. He made a friend named Billy who was poor. Todd's parents were very authoritarian (strict) and did not accept Billy. Eventually, his parents decided to no longer allow the boys to hang outside of school. A couple months after that, Billy's house burned down and his family was forced to move. After this, the Todd began to act out and do poorly in school. When confronted by the teacher, the Todd began to explain how he wished his life was like Billy's and that he had no expectations. He could just be himself. Instead of focusing on the fact Billy was probably struggling with the loss of his home and moving to a new place, Todd turned those problems and made himself center stage. I tend to have both characterisic of Todd, and the characteristic of the three year old. Todd was focused on that people should understand and feel his emotions; a three year old believes others should feel her emotions and thoughts. I have definitely shown my egocentricism this week by just expecting others to understand how I have felt and what I have thought by shutting down instead of using words to explain. This might have taken four days to realize, but I am stubborn. It takes me time.

[mlg]

Angel, please don't feel obligated to reply to our posts...we are walking with you to encourage you....that is all...and if you don't feel like reading our replies that is ok too. Just know we are here praying for you and hoping to see you grow and change as the Lord leads.

luv ya so much

[Tam]

Hi angelbaby
I am going to break this down to comment on it so here goes

This is not and will not be an overnight process for me

.
This is definety NOT an overnight process. Healing takes time. You are having to reprogram your mind and that my dear takes times.

He is also not a respecter of person's, meaning what he will do for one that is he is willing to do for another. As far as relationship with God, I am unwilling and will not just jump without a lot of trust being built. I have zero trust period for God. Besides, I am still angry with God so the fact at accepting the fact he loves me. You can't think someone loves you if you don't trust them. Trust comes before love

This is so a lie....you are God's child just as much as I am. You said as far as your relationship to God....you are unwilling and will not jump. Well sweetie....I am just going to be honest with you ....until you are willing to change, you won't. God nor man can push you to do something that you do not want to do or are not ready to do. Angel God loving you is not something you have to think on....He loves you regardless of what you think. That is like my kids, I may not like their actions sometimes but I love them! The same is with God. I may not like our stubborness and our little temper tantrums...but He loves us. THe temper tantrums in no way push Him away or impress Him.

As for forgiveness, I am no where close to forgiving anyone. There are still things that I have hidden away. I can't forgive someone until all the secrets and all the cards are out on the table. Things have been eating me up from the inside because I have held onto them for so long. Tonight, writing a letter to my bio-father explaining some details of childhood was a way to let out some of the anger and resentment. However, I only expressed one issue. I still have a lot more to let out at him. I still have a lot more to let out with other issues. As I said earlier, this will not be an overnight thing for me. This will take time.

As for the forgiveness, yes that will take time. You may not be willing to forgive...but if you believe the word of God...you can chose to do the right thing and forgive and then the feelings will come later. Just step out on faith and forgive and don't go by the feelings. They will come. Again....YES this will take time. No one is pushing you to be ok yesterday. Slack up some on you. We have all been there and know that this is all baby steps. But again....YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING

"what am I supposed to say?" How do you want me to respond?

You don't have to respond to every post dear, and if you do...be you, be real, be honest. Respond with what you are thinking, felling whatever but again I say You do not have to respond.

Today, I think was a day to let out my anger. I started to withdraw again. I had decided that I didn't really need people, and people did not understand. Instead, as so often I do, I bottled my anger until it just spewed out. I am thankful that when the rage did come out it didn't hurt anyone. It came out in a safe manner. I will acknowledge myself for this because I have a tendency to take my anger out on other people. I will even admit that I was/did take my anger out on some people. I will even admit that I have thrown several hissy fits in the past couple of day. However, it was not as big of a mess as it has been in the past. I am also recognizing my actions for what they truly are tantrums.

Yes today you have been fruitful. Letting all this anger and rage out is helpful. It gets it out in the open and then you can deal with it. And you did it without hurting you or someone. That my dear is accomplishment.
If you haven't figured it out yet....you little hissy fits and temper tantrums dont' phase me. I am still here for and so is He...but again YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING

accountability. I agree again. Accountability is something that I have never had. I have always had my own standards and never really had to answer to someone

uh huh and that is why you are going to get sick of me...because I am holding you accountable!
Ok, I am also going to admit. I live by my feelings way too much. My feelings often get me into trouble because they are not always accurate, or I allow my feelings to become bigger than they are[/quote]
All I am going to say to that sis is that our feeling lie to us. There is your proof in what you just said.
I will close all my harping with this one statement......YOU HAVE GOT TO BE WILLING or nothing is every going to change.
Love you and just being honest with you
Tam

[deetu]

uh huh, yep....told you last night's lesson was good for a reason. Was hoping you would be curious enough to do it because that was where you are.

angel, the study gets tough on people because it hits close to home on alot of things that people don't feel comfortable about. Then the evil one will start to whisper and pick at you to make it seem even worse. Especially, the things that irritate you the most...like answering people's posts. At that point, most people will give up...exactly what the enemy wants so you cannot find the freedom you so truly want.

You don't like being where you are now. The only way to change is to give.
You asked God for help the other day. You believed then.
You know the difference, you have seen it, you have felt it.
Reach for that full time.

Here is something for you
http://www.christianityoasis.com/keyword/whyGod.htm


ps found that Scripture I was looking for the other day 1 Corth 1:26-28

[vahn]

angelbaby

Good news , not so good news . let me start with the latter , in your own words .

I am unwilling and will not just jump without a lot of trust being built (*with God , first). I have zero trust period for God

*my addition .
angel , the ONLY response I have for your statement is , "You just go ahead , and do this thing YOUR WAY , and we just drop in once in a while , and read your woes , and go tsk tsk , poor thing and we wait for the next post , which I am 100% sure will sound just like the other - we do the same thing , we get the SAME result"
The reason I am saying this hinges on nothing else but the UNWILLINGNESS on your part , without willingness , nothing , absolutely nothing is going to happen to get different results .

Good news is .
God doesn't care whether YOU trust Him or not , He just simply Loves you ANYWAY ... Whether you like it or NOT . That is just the way He is !


Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord