Christianity Oasis Forum

[angelbaby]

Day three, I have said this before. I really struggle with this lesson. I am no where easy on myself. Why should God be any different?

God's Grace reveals that if you TRULY believe in Jesus, you would know that He loves you so much, that He was willing to die for you, and did.

This statement is an ouchie. I missed it the first two times I read this. I will honestly say that I do not believe he does. I struggle to even use the word. I will now say that I believe he cares, but I do not think he does the other. Sorry, sometimes I have a hard time using certain words.

Now, there are many people that were Christians and have stopped believing in God, because something really bad happened. For example, they lose a friend or family member to divorce or death. They decide to blame God or say, if there is a God, why would He allow this to happen.

This I have done many times. I struggle in this area. I am always questioning why. Why did this happen? Why would a loving, caring God allow this? He is God of the universe. He created the universe why couldn't he intervene for me. I have heard time and time again. God gave man free will. He didn't want robots to serve him. We wouldn't have a choice. Ok, I am going to come out and be real. I think that I am selfish. I have a tendency to think rules don't apply to me. I grew up in a home where there were no rules or if a rule was established within a day or two it was back to the way that I wanted it. There were absolutely zero consequences. I skipped classes my senior year of high school. I got zero punishment at home or school. The teacher said that I would serve detention and have unexcused absenences. Whoppie!! They gave me the unexcused absences, but I never ever served a day of detention. At home, my mom just asked me about it. I had control. Even when things happened, I was running around that building with no adult supervision. I could do what I wanted, how I wanted, and when I wanted. Besides that, I was the baby of the family. You guessed it. I was spoiled rotten. I got it my way above my siblings the majority of the time. I threw a tantrum, and I got my way simply. I will say that I was treated and favored over my siblings. Now, I am not proud of any of this. I am not proud that I was a spoiled "princess." I am appalled at what I was allowed to get away with. I still, however, have not learned discipline. I am still very egocentric in the fact if I don't want to do something, and there are no consequences. I am not going to do it. If there is a rule, you have to turn your paper in by 5 o'clock, or it is a zero. Then, I will turn my paper in at 5 o'clock; if know, the professor is lenient and doesn't follow that rule often that paper may not make it in until 5:30. I am guessing the word "no" is a foreign term. The fact that God has rules, and he sticks by them. I am not above them all. God just won't bend the rules to fit my needs. Is probably why I blame hims so much? The childish thinking that if I throw a tantrum long enough, he will give me what I want. Reality check, I don't think God works that way.

[xxJILLxx]

Hello angel,

You said,

I will now say that I believe he cares, but I do not think he does the other.

This is part of the selfishness that we have, that He speaks of crucifying daily. It is not of Him that this comes from, because we refuse to believe the Truth... but why? why do we refuse to believe this angelbaby? It is ourselves that get in the way of our healing. Break free from the bondage of self and live FREE in His Words.

Dont hang yourself on others words.. (lyrics to a song i've been listening to,~ pink floyd -coming back to life. Good song by the way) that includes our words that we speak over ourselves... they are the block or the weed we must uproot.

Your doing great angel... keep pushing through!

God bless and keep u
♥Jill

[Dora]

I am no where easy on myself. Why

should God be any different?

Because He says....
Matthew 11:30
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Why did this happen? Why would a loving, caring God allow this?

We may never know the complete answer to why. This one word can cause us to fall so far from God. It can keep us from healing. It can keep us from joy. It can cause hardening of the heart and hatred and anger. As well as self harm.

Can you let go of needing this question answered and just accept that there is a purpose.

Love you!

[Tam]

Angebaby you asked,

Why did this happen? Why would a loving, caring God allow this?

I know that you have heard that God gives man a free will.....I would like to try to make this simple for you to grasp....
you said,

I have a tendency to think rules don't apply to me. I grew up in a home where there were no rules or if a rule was established within a day or two it was back to the way that I wanted it. There were absolutely zero consequences. I skipped classes my senior year of high school. I got zero punishment at home or school. The teacher said that I would serve detention and have unexcused absenences. Whoppie!! They gave me the unexcused absences, but I never ever served a day of detention. At home, my mom just asked me about it. I had control. Even when things happened, I was running around that building with no adult supervision. I could do what I wanted, how I wanted, and when I wanted.

You had a choice, you knew the rules at school but yet you chose to break them.....you made that decision to do that, no one had to twist your arm or beg you ...but because you never had to answer for what you did, it didn't matter, you did what you wanted even though you knew some of it was wrong. YOU made that choice..
That is the same way with God giving man a free will, at times they don't think the will get caught or like you they thought that they were above the rules (no offense meant) and it didn't matter what they did or to whom they did it. Make sense?

God was right there. I don't think that any thing we would do could change the fact that HE loves us unconditionally. NO matter what we do or how far away we move, He still loves us.
We can pitch the biggest hissy fit we want with HIM but if it is not in out best interest, we are just blowing hot air. hmmmmmm reality
Look in the mirror and see the person that God accepts and loves unconditionally. Why beat yourself up when HE forgives and loves you?
I think that we are always harder on ourselves.
You are doing so good with the steps. Keep pushing through. Be selfish.....this time it is ok to take care of you! Do this for YOU and not for anyone else.
Love ya girl!!

[angelbaby]

We can pitch the biggest hissy fit we want with HIM but if it is not in out best interest, we are just blowing hot air. hmmmmmm reality. Look in the mirror and see the person that God accepts and loves unconditionally. Why beat yourself up when HE forgives and loves you?
I think that we are always harder on ourselves.

The first sentence totally made me laugh because that is so true of me. I am guilty of throwing the biggest hissy fit, and I apparently staring to realize God doesn't work that way. The next sentence fits along with today's lesson of forgiving yourself. I don't forgive others well, and I certainly don't forgive myself well. I have said this before in my journal. If I make a mistake, I feel like I have to either fix the mistake or punish myself. Even if that person forgives me, I will still have to satisify that need inside me before I will forgive myself. If I fix the problem, I still have tendency to punish myself. I can accept others making mistakes, but making a mistake is not ok for me. I can't change someone else, but I can change me and my actions. So, I have higher expectations on myself. I have to get it right. I have to do more than my best. I don't like disappointed other either. I can't disappoint them. If I make a mistake, I am probably disappointing someone else. There are just so many factors that play into that.

We may never know the complete answer to why. This one word can cause us to fall so far from God. It can keep us from healing. It can keep us from joy. It can cause hardening of the heart and hatred and anger. As well as self harm. Can you let go of needing this question answered and just accept that there is a purpose.

Piney, Piney, Piney. Sis, I don't think you could have anymore clearer defined me. I have definately been guilty of hardening my heart and hatred. I have a hard time accepting that there is a purpose. I have heard so many time there is always a reason/purpose. Then, someone tell me what it is cause if not then I have issue with it. Sounds, incredible selfish typing that, but I am acknowledging that is where I am at.

Dont hang yourself on others words.. (lyrics to a song i've been listening to,~ pink floyd -coming back to life. Good song by the way) that includes our words that we speak over ourselves... they are the block or the weed we must uproot.

I am the queen of speaking neagative things over myself. I don't have a good picture of myself.

[Dora]

I have heard so many time there is always a reason/purpose. Then, someone tell me what it is cause if not then I have issue with it. Sounds, incredible selfish typing that, but I am acknowledging that is where I am at.

There's this child that always has to know what we are doing next and when. She is always asking me and asking why. Which is fine. But she's full of anxiety. Unlike the others who are happy go lucky and bound in the door to follow through with what I ask when I ask with smiles on their faces. Not caring at all what's coming up next, just anticipating a good time.

We choose which one we want to be. Do you have to know the plan, or can you just accept it happened and move on to better things in life?

[angelbaby]

Unlike the others who are happy go lucky and bound in the door to follow through with what I ask when I ask with smiles on their faces.

I have never ever been the child that will bounce in the door without thinking about what is going to happen next. I always have to be able to predict what is going to happen next. I cannot stand to not know what is going to happen. That is absolutely a terrifying concept.

[Dora]

I know the feeling. Every time my husband and I would go somewhere if he drove a different path I would get so nervous. To the point I couldn't enjoy the ride. I would ask and he's say just enjoy the ride and trust the driver. I'd get so mad. I'd pout. I'd ruin the entire trip. Why? Cause I had to know where I was going and what I'd be doing there.

I've learned that he's not going to take me any where where I'd be in danger or hurt. Usually when we got to his destination I'd think it was really cool but still so upset that I still couldn't enjoy the new sight.

I've learned to just enjoy the scenery and the conversation, despite not knowing where I'm going, what I'll do there or see there or when I'll return home. Sometimes I still get that want to know feeling.

It's your choice angelbaby to let go of your need to know and allow God to drive while you just enjoy the scenery and conversation or go the way you're going. Which doesn't seem to be doing to much good for you anyway.

Love you!

[Tam]

I have never ever been the child that will bounce in the door without thinking about what is going to happen next. I always have to be able to predict what is going to happen next. I cannot stand to not know what is going to happen

Uh huh there it is FEAR of the unknown. Fear of not knowing what is going to happen next or how HE is going to choose to heal you. It all comes down to trusting my dear.

Seriously lets think about this, as you head out the door do you REALLY know what is going to be the next move? You may think in your head you do, in your head you have a plan planned out but how many times has that plan changed? You are walking down the street and you step in a hole and almost fall! was that in your plan? You survived tho right?
You may have all your lesson plans laid out for the day and then the principal pops in the classroom and says so and so is going to be here today and I would like for them to talk to your students. Well you trust that the principal has made the right decision, that is the same trust that we have to put in GOD. Knowing that the path that He is leading us down tho very unfamiliar to us is the safetest path for us to go down, even tho we can't see the road ahead. We hold his hand and walk slowly together step by step. No we are not running, we are walking slowly. Before we can take off running we have to become familiar with the territory. Make sense?
You are doing so good at learning to let Go and let God. I pray that you will continue to keep pressing in although it is out of your comfort zone because in reality, you keep pursuing and this will become your comfort zone :D
Prayers remain with you sis.
Love ya!

[vahn]

Hello angelbaby

Just browsing through , stumbled across your thread , and I apologize in advance , if I seem to be barging in . But ...
The ever familiar sound of the "Unless I know for sure ... " keeps repeating itself , yep I went through that "phase" myself , and this is what the outcome of it was - I NEVER got to do ANYTHING , and NEVER got ANYWHERE - for two main reasons , 1) It was the fact that no one else knew what the outcome would turn out to be either , and 2) I was always either far "better than that !" or "not good enough at all" to even bother . But here's the reality of it all . By so doing , we ARE actually TELLING ourselves , with certainty what the outcome WILL be - NOTHING - Simple right ? If no action taken , nothing happens , and when nothing happens , NOT A SINGLE THING happens . Here's the SNAG , (and I think is the core of the issue at hand here) WE WANT SOMETHING TO HAPPEN !!! .

So , before we go on "searching" for the solution , let us find out first what is it that we are to "solve" ? In other words , let us see first IF there is a problem and WHERE is it ? Only then we are able to say , with certainty , whether is it fixable ? or replacable ? or maybe both ? and most important , do I want to ? If yes , can I do it myself ? and if no , scratch the whole thing all-together and never look back .

Like Pine said , we HAVE a choice . From what I gathered from your post you are CHOOSING to be

I am the queen of speaking neagative things over myself. I don't have a good picture of myself.

But WANTING different !

Tam mentioned the fear of the unknown , (Of the outcome) .

You know ? Something is terribly missing in this whole thing , don't you think ? (Let me re-read this again - including/starting with my reply and going backwards ) ...

Oh .. There it is ! ((( FAITH ))) ... There Is WAY too much of it !! ... In OURSELVES that is !!
How about what another guy has to say about that , let's get a second opinion shall we ? But who's ? vahn's ? Tam's ? Pine's ? or maybe Christianity Oasis's ? or Phanthomfaith's ? or Mackenaw's ? Billy Graham's ? Well we ALL have the same ones , would you like to know how I know ? Scripture says " For EVERY man , I have DEALT (given) a measure of Faith"
Just in case you were asking " What is this Faith thing you talking about ? "

Well this Jewish Pharisee turned believer was answering the same question asked by the Hebrews themselves , saying

""It is the confident assurance that something we want IS going to happen .
It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us , even though we cannot see it up ahead ."

Hmm



Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord

[angelbaby]

Before we get down to the nitty gritty today there's a weed that has runners on its root system called ...Blame. This word Blame is an ugly word and it's an even uglier weed. Nobody likes to be blamed for anything bad. Whenever problems arise, or if we have long existing problems, one of our first reactions is to blame somebody else. Now, granted, chances are there are other people involved in your problem, but are they to blame?

There are very much people to blame in my problem. I am not saying that I am completely off the hook. I am saying that these people made choices that contributed to the problem and even cause some of these problems. Yes, they are to blame.

[quote]If you've ever been to a non-Christian based counseling program of any kind, you'll be misguided into thinking that these reactions are normal

[Dora]

Before we get down to the nitty gritty today there's a weed that has runners on its root system called ...Blame. This word Blame is an ugly word and it's an even uglier weed. Nobody likes to be blamed for anything bad. Whenever problems arise, or if we have long existing problems, one of our first reactions is to blame somebody else. Now, granted, chances are there are other people involved in your problem, but are they to blame?

There are very much people to blame in my problem. I am not saying that I am completely off the hook. I am saying that these people made choices that contributed to the problem and even cause some of these problems. Yes, they are to blame.

They were involved in the situations that caused your pain but the root of evil is the devil who is the enemy of your soul. Thus the reason you should choose to avoid anything that could possibly give him glory. Which includes unforgiveness and negative thinking amongst many others.

[quote="angelbaby"]

[quote]If you've ever been to a non-Christian based counseling program of any kind, you'll be misguided into thinking that these reactions are normal