Christianity Oasis Forum

[Skrubby]

Hello,

My grandfather on my mothers side recently died.

Now, my mother was treated rather poorly by him. Ignored neglected what not. I dont know the whole story behind that.

My mother has a sister, too. At some point, they became blood enemies.

I guess that karen (her sister) made my moms relationship even worse with my grandfather by making up a bunch of lies to tell him about how horrible she is.

Well, my mom is kinda nuts, too. One of her things is when someone in her family dies, she wants a lock of hair. Not a huge deal i guess, sort of odd, not my thing, but whatever.

Well at the wake this evening, my mom was requesting her lock of hair. However, the funeral director said that he had to ask karen if it was okay.

Karen of course said no.

My mother was just completly and utterly destroyed to be denied her lock of hair. I mean, in reality, she wanted the hair because she wanted to inside her self mend her feelings towards him, and that was denied of her.

So now she is so utterly angry and bitter, and she will go to her grave with this anger.

We all tried to talk to the funeral guys about it.

I even called them back and further talked. The receptionist thought that they could get a piece of it after karen left, but the director stood his ground on what he felt was right (which hey, i like a man who stands up for his own morals.)

I was going to go take one myself... but after everyone searching cars, nobody had scissors. I woulda delt with any legal issues for that. My mom is old and not in great health and she doesnt need to be holding such agonizing hatred.

Dang... mission failed.

Poor mamma.

[mlg]

Zeigfried...sometimes a broken heart is healed more by love than anything else one can think might heal...I know your mother felt she needed that lock of hair...but I'll tell you what will do her more good at this moment a good dose of Sonlight and some tender love and encouragement from those who care about her most....

I know it may feel like mission failed...but it's not...it just means God has another plan...

My prayers are with all of you.

Take care and God Bless

[Skrubby]

Hello again,

If that story wasnt crazy enough for you, you wont believe this next part.

This morning I decided I was going to send an e-mail, a last ditch effort to cheer my mom up.

I recieved a phone call from the funeral home.

They told me that they will not remove hair from the body unless they both agreed to it, and that karen was willing to discuss the matter (amazing in itself)

I eagerly called my mom and told her about this... i gave her the phone number to the man who called so they can work it out. They expressed concerns about proceeding with the burial, which scared me.

At this point I thought man, i am in way over my head. why would i try and get involved like this? what was i thinking? how many people are gona be upset if they cant work this out?

well, i got a call from my mom. She said that Karen will NOT allow her to have any hair, but they reached a compromise.

A compromise, mind you, that is so bizzare that i cant believe it.

Karen will allow her to have a finger print and a finger nail instead of a lock of hair.

At this point, I have decided to say at least you got something, my mom ranted a bit about it but she is glad that i tried for her and that karen at least allowed SOME kind of compromise.

At this point, I want to pretend this whole thing never happened. I am so utterly embarassed. But mom is happier, so thats good news to hear.

As for my thoughts about the situation as a whole... while you may not feel this to be so, i feel as if I have served God by doing this.

Serving God does not always mean beat people over the head with a bible... just trying to spread joy and happiness to anyone you can... showing that life can be good... bring a smile to an unhappy face... isnt that love too?

Until my next crazy adventure, adios.

[mlg]

I'm glad things have worked out for you zeig...I'm not sure what your mom feels she accomplishes by holding onto all these things....but my prayers are that she feels the comforting presence of Jesus surrounding her and may she know His love also.

God loves you zeig, may He bless you.



Take care

[Skrubby]

Well you know thats her thing she does... she likes to put the hair into a photo album for memories. Its kinda weird but who cares, its not hurtin anyone.

just the same as joe schmoe down the road might like to collect memorabilia from baseball or jane schmane might have a doll collection.

it helps her bring closure and its fine. everyone has their vices.

the story was meant to engage a conversation, please do not bludgeon it to its end with a blow about how improper it is to do these things and seal it with a kiss about Jesus, because Jesus is not some linear thing, He is alive and fluid.

[mlg]

Zeig, I'm sorry you felt I was saying what your mom was doing is improper because that was never the intent of my shared words.

I was just wondering why she felt the need for these items...and as you shared...it has helped her bring closure.

I assure you I would never judge anyone for the things they do...we do all have our own quirks...I myself included.

I always seal my words with thoughts about Jesus...because it is His comforting presence that gets us through the tough things in life.

Again the intention of my words was not to offend, and I'm sorry if you took my words differently.

Take care and God Bless

[momof3]

when I was younger my favorite cousin bought a birthday card for me that said something like.."to the most gorgious, brilliant, intelligent (on and on) member of our family.....inside it said "save this card and give it back to me next year" so he could get the same compliments from me

i did give it back to him the following year and we passed it back and forth for years till one year I had the card and he was killed in a car accident. i placed to card in his casket...which for whatever odd reason, brought closure to me. I knew he wasnt there..that it was just his shell and that he was home with the Lord and at peace..but...it still brought a lil more peace to me to be able to put that to rest with his body. I imagine this with your mom kinda does the same thing.

Recently, when Zachary passed, the Army medical examiner gave my son a copy of his footprints. That meant everything to my son, who is also a Christian and believes his baby is with the Lord. We are quirky people..human, with human emotions given by God Himself. Its what makes us care about a life lost to us for a time.

God bless you, Zeig..will be praying for your momma.

in Jesus,
love momo

[Skrubby]

All is well, I just become a bit defensive of how He is. Sometimes people want to paint this picture of life needing to be set in stone and nothing else can possibly make any sense and is wrong, and to me it is sickening.

Life is not about needing to be in some strict line and stepping out of it will deem you chastized.

It is about forming a personal bond with Jesus and interacting with Him as naturally as you can, allowing Him to be a part of you, not forcing yourself in strict obedience to do as told or suffer the consequences.

Life throws many curveballs at you, and that is normal. The world is a rough place, and its out to get you... its how you decide to go about handling a situation that matters. You could throw in a towel, rampage, or you can say hmm, what would He do if He were in this very unique situation (which all situations are unique in one way or another).

Sometimes we dont wana even think about it and do something crazy, and we learn the hard way that was not the correct choice, but He stands there nodding his approval to you knowing you realize the error you have made.

To me, that is what love is. I could go on and on describing this love that i appreciate.

In reality, im not one of those Jesus gang bangers always praising and cheering... it just isnt for me. That doesnt mean that I dont know Him and seek Him, I am just more sublte, perhaps even in some ways too humble to do so. He was a humble man after all, so I dont think He minds.

But I digress... the point is, perhaps I took your words the wrong way. Sorry and forgiveness for all.

[mlg]

Sent with Christian Love from me.