Christianity Oasis Forum

[Guest]

Thanks again -

Yeah I love that song by Brandon Heath - I think its my theme song that and The Motions by Matthew West - I think that song is a good one to "shake you up" too.

That's what I mean by having compassion - I know I need to see others thru God's eyes but the question is how?? I feel like all I have been taught hasn't really stuck inside of me - its just something that went in one ear and out the other - that parable with the sower and the seed, some seed went into shallow ground and then got scorched, I sometimes think I am that kind of seed. I also think I worry too much that I'm doing the right things. I know you can't be a Christian by earning your way into heaven but I think I still have the mentality that I need to be "good" which no one is "good".

[mlg]

I don't know much about you...so it's hard to say where you are coming from...but seeing through God's eyes means putting your own eyes away...I want to suggest maybe you volunteer to work at a homeless shelter sometime...and actually sit down and talk to the people there...introduce them to Jesus...share with them the Truth of the Hope of something better...if you can hope in God...then these souls surely can as well.


Keep seeking hoping...you will find.

luv ya

[Mackenaw]

Hello HopingonGod,

God bless you this day.

You have such wonderful questions, and The Lord will give you the answers. As you get to know The Holy Spirit of God, and how He works within us, you'll begin to see the changes you really want -- #1, to feel that genuine love for others, and not just fake it.

Continue on the 14-Day Path -- the CCCC Study. God is so very Good, and you're gonna learn more and more, and WOWZA -- I'm excited for you.

I'm lifting you up in prayers to our Lord. God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ's love,
Sister Mack

[Guest]

hi HopingonGod

I just got to read your journal and I'm really glad that you're here with us.
I'm glad that you're doing the counseling program, it will help you a lot. I believe your questions will be answered through doing this program, with some help of all these great people here to encourage you.

how to see people with God's eyes? a good question. personally, I think that you can honestly and humbly ask God to give you His heart for people. to see people with God's eyes, you need to have His heart for them. I believe He will give it to you when you ask for it. It might not be a sudden change in your heart for others, but God will work in you and perfect it in His timing.

I just want to thank you for sharing your heart with us. I know it might feel uneasy, but you're bringing it into the light. and by bringing it in the light you're breaking the power of the enemy as truth will set you free.

I'm praying for you.

hugs,

littlesongbird

[Guest]

Again thanks for everyone for their support and their wonderful advice. I thank God and am amazed that everyone here is so loving and caring.

So I have gone over Step 3 and again I'm just amazed that all this time I thought I had an idea or knew what being a Christian was about but I think sometimes you know when you hear something over and over, you just repeat it in your head but not really know what it means? I think that's how I've been living - I know Jesus died for me and did it for me to be with Him in Heaven someday but did it really affect me and how I have lived? I still remember when I truly gave my heart to Jesus, it was in college, the last year of college and I'd become addicted to some things that I knew where terribly wrong for me and somehow God broke through and woke me up from the path I was going down. But I guess over the years (its been 8 years), I probably have gone backwards and not forwards.

I know I don't understand God's grace because its hard to grasp how God could still love me regardless of what I have done or continue to do - knowing its wrong. I had to remind myself today that God's love is UNCONDITIONAL. That He stll loves me even when I do something wrong.

So here's where I need extra advice A little bit about me - I had entered into a relationship with a guy (nothing physical or anything like that) that my father did not approve of. My father didn't approve of him because he believed he wasn't the same intellectual and social status as me. Suffice to say it ended badly - this guy might not have had the best intentions towards me, I'm not entirely sure but all ties where cut. Now here is where I have said I need to move out because during this whole process, I wasn't allowed to decide on my own what to do - I was more or less coerced to cut off ties with this guy. I know my father looks out for me but he is overbearing and overwhelming - whenever I'm in his prescence I feel like I withdraw into myself and can't be myself.

So after it ended, I basically never talked to the guy again but my father always worried that I would. My father gets very anxious very fast and worries way too much about everything and anything. Its been a year since I talked to the guy and I will admit part of my decision to want to move was based on what happened with this guy and how it ended. And I think my dad is afraid that once I move out something like this will happen again and that's what gets me mad - that I can't be allowed to live my life - I'm afraid that if I make a wrong decision that he'll cut off ties with me (he threatened to do so if I chose this guy over him).

The guy actually emailed me about 3 or 4 months ago but I never responded and wasn't going to start communicating with him ever but just a couple of days ago my father asks me if I'm still talking to the guy - and its been a year since this whole thing happened! The reason behind him asking me was I was very close to getting a house and possibly moving so again, he was afraid that I would enter into a relationship with this guy and if I wasn't in the house maybe he wouldn't be able to stop me this time - I don't know.

I told my father that I wasn't talking to him and I hadn't talked to him since this thing ended but then he asked if the guy had contacted me and I lied. I know I shouldn't have and that's what has been bugging me since that day - I can't tell him that the guy tried to contact me because my father will worry and bring up the whole thing all over again and it took me forever to get over it and to let go of it - I don't want to rehash everything all over again. The other thing is that I don't want him to know - I guess I'm fed up with my father having to know everything about me - every little thing I do or that happens, I don't want him to know about it!! I've asked God for forgiveness for lying but I'm afraid that I'm trying to justify what I did (or I know I'm trying to justify it), I just can't get myself to tell my father....

I'm struggling with the notion that God hasn't forgiven me for lying even though I've asked for it over and over now - I think its more my own inability to believe that God would forgive me when I still refuse to tell my father the truth.

Sorry for the extremely long entry - I had to get this out.

[mlg]

Hey sis...I can understand where you are coming from...but as far as parents go..they have to let their children fly...and your parents are having a difficult time doing this. I want to suggest that you do some serious praying and seeking God's guidance in this matter and then follow the path of peace...the path of peace is God's will.

luv ya

[Mackenaw]

Hello HopingonGod,

God bless you this day.

God's grace is amazing, isn't it. Unmerited favor -- how blessed is that?!!! Thank You Jesus.

HopingonGod, The Lord loves you so very much. He wants to develop a deep abiding relationship with you. And who better to develop a relationship with than Almighty God, Creator of the Heavens and Earth, and Creator of you, HopingonGod. He knows the beautiful plans He has for you. And since God is Love, who better to learn all about love from?!!!

As a parent I know the desire to protect our children -- even our adult ones, however, oftentimes in our desire to protect them, we become their jailers. That is not love, that is obsession. One of the questions you may want to ask yourself is what part you have played in that. What was it about this guy that you were drawn to?

HopingonGod, once you develop your relationship with The Lord God, you'll not feel so dependent on your dad, your parents, or any other human being. Jesus always has your best interest at heart, and His will is always the best. And as your dependence on the Lord grows, your confidence will grow and everyone that knows you will see the change. They may not be able to pinpoint exactly what has changed, but they will notice it. The presence of the awesome power of God working in a person's life, cannot go unnoticed.

And how do we have access (audience) to the presence of God and His love and His power? Through His awesome and blessed grace -- by the blood of our blessed Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Continue on the 14-Day Path. You are doing well. The Lord God loves you, HopinonGod.

God bless and keep you.
In His love,
Sister Mack

[Guest]

Well I'm on Step 4 - thank you everyone for you wonderful comments and encouragement

Its kind of mind boggling how this step is about forgiveness - its like its exactly what I needed to hear right now.

If you can remember step 4 and a part of it - it talks about our "levels" of forgiving others. I think my "level" is forgving but not forgetting - not neccessarily to bring it up again but I know I have a habit of remembering what has happened in my life, if someone has wronged me, I will remember what they have done especially if that person starts talking dirt/junk about someone else. I will remember all THEY DID to me and maybe resent them a little at that moment.

I know I also have a problem going back and having a relationship with others even after forgiveness has been given. I have a trust issue - but the funny thing is, I tend to trust too easily but once you hurt me, I have a problem trusting again or having that same level of friendship/relationship as before.

I've built this gigantic wall around me and I'm afraid to let it fall. I've got this idea that I know someone is going to hurt me in the end whoever it is and I think that's why I'm too sensitive to others' comments especially if they are hurtful - I like to store them up and just poke and prod at myself like with a red hot poker so I can hurt myself over and over - maybe I don't truly let go. I don't know why I do this.

This morning on the way to work I was reflecting about myself - who I am inside and I feel so warped and bruised - how did I get like this??

I have prayed for God to show me how to forgive myself too in all of this -I have sinned and will sin in the future (I know I'm not going to be perfect) but I have to stop holding onto the sin once its been committed. I know this doesn't give me license to do whatever but if something does happen, I can maybe break free of being so down or negative with myself about it. The other funny thing is - I tend to focus on one sin and have it turn over and over in my head - I remember that I did it constantly even though I could have done a dozen or so other things that didn't please God that day as well - why is that? I know God sees all sins as equal so why do I hold on to one or two like they are "bigger" than the rest?

As always - please pray for me......I need them daily.....

[mlg]

Hey sis...forgiveness doesn't mean that you are saying what the people did to you is ok...or that it's ok for them to do it again...forgiveness is your release from the hurt and the pain...forgiveness is for you. That doesn't always mean a relationship will be restored to the same condition it was before the hurt...because when trust is betrayed on sometimes has to protect themselves by being cautious with the other person. For example if someone is known to be a thief and you know that the main thing they steal is jewelry...and say they stole your jewelry before...then you may forgive them but the next time they come over you will make sure not to leave jewelry out lest they be tempted.

Ok, that's what I had to share...I hope you have a wonderful day.

luv ya

[Dora]

HopingonGod you sound perfectly normal to me.

Just gotta keep forgiving all over again when it comes back up.

Much of what you wrote I can relate to.

Praying for you. God loves you and so do I!

[Mackenaw]

Hello HopingonGod

God bless you this day.

Step 4: Forgiveness -- Awesome message within the step. Yes, sometimes we harbor the memories of those experiences, thinking that we are just being wise and protecting ourselves -- keeping harm from reaching us. In reality, we're blocking love from flowing out.

The Lord gives us His unconditional love in overflowing amounts to restore us AND to reach others. If we stop the flow, we not only stop what is going forth from us, but we basically block His love from coming into our hearts, as well. And we all know that the love we MANufacture on our own is not unconditional.

Don't you love this Study? Wooooohoooooo!!! God's Word is so very healing. His Word is Truth, and the Truth will set you free.

God bless and keep you, HopingonGod.
In Christ's love,
Sister Mack

[Mackenaw]

Hello HopingonGod

I'm just stopping by to let you know that I'm thinking of you, and lifting you up on prayers.

God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Sister Mack