Christianity Oasis Forum

[jamisfaithnjoy]

Life ain't all that easy I can testify to that
It's been up and down and round and round to get to where I'm at
If you could see how I'm living in this old car I drive
Well you'd probably wonder and even ponder why I even wanna stay alive

So give me one more shot, I'll give it all I've got
"Let me open my eyes to a new sunrise", I pray
Give me one more chance, I'll learn to dance the dance
I'm satisfied just being alive, give me one more day

I could complain about taxes or the weather we're having today
Go on and on about things that are wrong from New York to L.A.
Well that's just not my nature to sit around feeling sad
We're only here for awhile so why not smile hey, living ain't all that bad

So give me one more shot, I'll give it all I've got
"Let me open my eyes to a new sunrise", I pray
Give me one more chance, I'll learn to dance the dance
I'm satisfied just being alive, give me one more day

When I look around there's lots of folks worse off than me
So I just thank the good Lord and ask Him please

Give me one more shot I'll give it all I've got
"Let me open my eyes to a new sunrise", I pray
And give me one more chance, I'll learn to dance the dance
Well I'm satisfied just being alive, give me one more day
I'm satisfied just being alive, give me one more day

Give me one more shot, I'll give it all I've got
Give me one more day
Show me the way and give me one more day
Give me one more shot

By Alabama

[jamisfaithnjoy]

How Many Friends?

The old man turned to me and asked
"How many friends have you?"
Why 10 or 20 friends have I,
And named off just a few...


He rose quite slow with effort
And sadly shook his head
"A lucky child you are
To have so many friends," he said


But think of what you're saying
There is so much you do not know
A friend is just not someone
To whom you say "Hello"


A friends a tender shoulder
On which to softly cry
A well to pour your troubles down
And raise your spirits high


A friend is a hand to pull you up
From darkness and despair...
When all your other "so called" friends
Have helped to put you there


A true friend is an ally
Who can't be moved or bought
A voice to keep your name alive
When others have forgot


But most of all a friend is a heart
A strong and sturdy wall
For from the hearts of friends
There comes the greatest love of all!!!


So think of what I've spoken
For every word is true
And answer once again my child
How many friends have you???


And then he stood and faced me
Awaiting my reply
Softly I answered
"If lucky...... one have "I"

"You!!!!"

Author Unknown

[jamisfaithnjoy]

used to be a time,years back,when the chapter of interest for me was the Revelation..For obvious reasons,many want to know when God will come back and for another very common reason alot think but normally wouldn't dare "throw out there" is, "How much time do I have to get things "right?"..See,God's no one's fool...He knew,we as humans,would think like that and that's precisely why allows us to be saved from all the wreckage to come..Now I would hope that when we start getting those thoughts where we become overly concerned about the End Times,possibly missing the rapture and all that we TAKE the opportunity while we have it NOW to get right with God and not wait until the last minute..We wouldn't have to be so fascinated with "when's it going to happen?" if we were taking every opportunity the Lord brings to our attention to show others how great He is(aside from what we know that true Christians live for that moment BUT do not literally get obsessed with signs,timing,etc)...Waking up everyday,(Have you remembered to thank the Lord for that today?)feeding ourselves and/or our familes,housework,laundry,pets,running here and there,,some folks have kids sports,etc to attend,assisting others with various needs ranging from spiritual to material needs,and the list goes on and on...Do as Jesus did it's said and the Bible definitely says that...I'm just going to presume that most people that can find their way around the internet also have the mindset to realize that the world is running out of time and FEAR is NOT the answer@when will it happen..Sometimes i think it would just be better and the world would be a better place if people spent more time focusing on what God wants us to be doing while were HERE still...He tells us to be prepared as he comes as a thief in the night...Our hearts should already be right with the Lord..Why freak out over the Last Days so much?..Everyone's going to die someday whether you live to see the Rapture time era or before then and there isn't a thing you can do about it...Look at people with cancer that KNOW their going to die...Do you see how they handle their life and inevitably death differently than say someone who hasn't got a red bullseye on their forehead with a "due date?"..Every single person is on this site for a reason and I cannot help but think there's one common denominator involved..That EVERYONE makes it to Heaven..Not everyone is going to make it to Heaven but everyone has the OPPORTUNITY to...Will it be the ones who sit around counting the days idly and waiting on the Lord's return or the ones who get out there,and some even through the internet, and Make It Happen...reaching as many souls as humanly possible with the time allotted to them by our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?...We're in a countdown but it's not the kind you think..Forget "when" it's supposed to happen..If we're out there doing what God asks us to do,we'll have no time to become all-consumed(as even the false prophets have done) when He's coming..God needs each and every person He has chosen in the here and now@on Earth,making a difference one soul at a time....If that "consumed" us,we'd all be in much better shape spiritually and as a result...What does most everyone seek "inside"?..Peace,love and happiness...Souls to be saved...I'm saved...Get moving..Other people need you *shakes butterfly wings off*..Carry me away Lord..to bed,I'm tired..................God Bless

[jamisfaithnjoy]

Why every night around this time I decide to do my journaling...Well,I know why..it's my personal time to just relax,surf and whateverelse..Only problem is by 11 at night,im very exhausted and ready for bed from usually a full day's load of you name it..this is only a small 2 bedroom house and me,davey and my son Sam and there is like enough housework on the average day for 10 people,ugh...Ok,so it's not like mess messess but it seems like laundry and dishes literally never come to an end..I will give credit where it is due..The dishes have been making their way to the sink around here with little to no announcements about it...The laundry? Eh,every now and again Davey doesnt get it to the laundry hamper..No biggie..Not a big deal and definitely nothing worth causing a stir about..So let me think here what bothers me..well,2 things really and if ive mentioned it before,oh well...it's going to get mentioned again UNTIL God helps me get the stuff clarified,cleared up and/or disposed of for once and for all SAFELY AND SANELY(i started reading an article on discovery Series called when you just cant stop(but i have over and over and over again..like a broken record..like some of these same issues are beginnign to feel like)...The P.I. issue..doesnt matter if it's right,wrong or whatever even if i am married..this world is needing God's word spread in a major way and how can you get that done when you're so caught up in P.I..thats just how i feel and react and God will take care of everything and every aspect of it..I decided before last weekend,if i have to give it more than 2 minutes of thought anymore,maybe I need to travel the lands far off or maybe....I sometimes wonder if I shouldve just went and been a fulltime servant for the Lord before coming here and traveled all over the United States...with relationships,there's just way too much time having to spend figuring out whether their telling the truth or a lie because alot of people quite frankly lie and sometimes over completely stupid thingsbecause they dont want you to get mad at them or..that's just how they are...or the enemy has them by the whatever you want to call it...AND the Lord needs the couple more focused on what they can do for Him than being up each other's rears or trying to be..GOD should be the main focus..People like blessings..Well,their not going to come much if you don't get out and do service work somehow,somewhere..In any event,I do not want to spend the rest of my life explaining to someone why this or that should or shouldnt be done because the Bible makes it clear why it should or shouldnt..Do people really hate God that much that they dont even TRY to do whats right instead of acting like he's placing such a burden on them when all He wants to do is make their life EASIER and EASIER for those around them??...It's just much easier for me to stay in my Bible and focus on what God needs me to do(@sometimes people are way too complicated intentionally)...and Im quite sure it's not sitting around here trying to beat a smoking habit when some in your "cubicle" dont even have the interest to try to quit..That what steams me up...if you've never smoked,GOOD..dont ever pick the garbage up..Listen to the people that tell you you'll regret it,its not<cool,it's degrading cuz it is..and God despises it..its the NASTIEST habit or very close that I can think of and yet everyone thinks its cool or acts like theyll just live forever from it..I know way differently and although its an addiction of whatever sort,it's NOT one i am proud of..I will rarely talk about it and its not really due to embarrassment either..its because it a self destructive habit and takes more lives than its worth..I just think about how many times my mom tried to quit and did,with the help of the patch, only to have someonelse in her house blaze up right in front of her KNOWING she was trying to quit...well then,she found out she had cancer...then people around you that smoke when you're trying to quit sometimes have this sickening tendency to lie about how much their smoking or where they got them from,blah,blah ,blah when you know theyve ran out and.....if i sound very uncompassionate about it,well i am BUT thats even for myself...I KNOW what ive gotta do..I have kids to live for,a grandbaby,many people who need to hear the Lord's word and not through the eyes of Smoky the Bear...Some say,its not a sin unless God convicts you of it and they honestly believe that's why they can still smoke and its OK???...Save all that for someone who doesnt KNOW THE TRUTH GOD PROVIDED about smoking and destruction to the body,the temple.....Refer to a scripture that tells us we are NOT to destroy our bodies!...Do ya really think smoking is enhancing our bodies in a way that's pleasing to God?...Stop making excuses for yourself and those you "love" by justifying something so damaging,STINKY,and just downright nasty is ok because it's not and will never be...Ive thought a few times the government allows cigarettes to be legal to keep the population under control but that's neither here nor there...My point is if you're not going to quit for yourself regardless of what you think about it or believe,have RESPECT for those around you that ARE trying to and take it somewherelse seriously...like where this entry needs to be taken..To the Lord in prayer again,something ive been doing nightly for a couple weeks because I just got this bad feeling,im going to quit,my husband isnt going to have any real interest to quit,(which is how i used to be with it@could put it down for months at a time and didnt smoke again until the day i moved to this state for some reason,hmmmmmmm...)and like i told him the other day,im going to be widowed young and/or have health complications AGAIN..he says no..I grew up in the medical field,already had one heart attack due to an bleeding ulcer that ate my stomach out and im quite sure my then smoking played a factor in that..Ive studied this stupid subject since i was a kid because my parents always smoked and i had the hardest time breathing around it..Smoking promises NO ONE time...Kinda like putting your mouth up to a muffler and inhaling..Would people do that?..Well,thats basically whats being done anyways...I was going to attend an online cessation program called Smokers Anonymous but am grappling with the whole reason I mainly quit A.A. in my past was the whole "Anything or anyone can be your God concept"...So Im sure this is probably the same..I went to the site a few months back before i was then able to just cold turkey it again on my own and cant say with...Yeah,I better go read my Bible like I was going to an hour ago...Jesus gave me my few minutes to let out some steam but now He wants to have a talk with me...Awesome...I love talking with the Lord...he always ends up clarifying things so clearly..No ends up about it..It's clarified from the get go...Im just the blindsided human being in the flesh still that thinks by simply thinking about something,its going to come to pass...even if its for the good..Not quite...This is where the Lord comes in....I love you Jesus

[jamisfaithnjoy]

Psalm 106

1 Praise the LORD. [a]
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

2 Who can proclaim the mighty acts of the LORD
or fully declare his praise?

3 Blessed are they who maintain justice,
who constantly do what is right.

4 Remember me, O LORD, when you show favor to your people,
come to my aid when you save them,

5 that I may enjoy the prosperity of your chosen ones,
that I may share in the joy of your nation
and join your inheritance in giving praise.

6 We have sinned, even as our fathers did;
we have done wrong and acted wickedly.

7 When our fathers were in Egypt,
they gave no thought to your miracles;
they did not remember your many kindnesses,
and they rebelled by the sea, the Red Sea. [b]

8 Yet he saved them for his name's sake,
to make his mighty power known.

9 He rebuked the Red Sea, and it dried up;
he led them through the depths as through a desert.

10 He saved them from the hand of the foe;
from the hand of the enemy he redeemed them.

11 The waters covered their adversaries;
not one of them survived.

12 Then they believed his promises
and sang his praise.

13 But they soon forgot what he had done
and did not wait for his counsel.

14 In the desert they gave in to their craving;
in the wasteland they put God to the test.

15 So he gave them what they asked for,
but sent a wasting disease upon them.

16 In the camp they grew envious of Moses
and of Aaron, who was consecrated to the LORD.

17 The earth opened up and swallowed Dathan;
it buried the company of Abiram.

18 Fire blazed among their followers;
a flame consumed the wicked.

19 At Horeb they made a calf
and worshiped an idol cast from metal.

20 They exchanged their Glory
for an image of a bull, which eats grass.

21 They forgot the God who saved them,
who had done great things in Egypt,

22 miracles in the land of Ham
and awesome deeds by the Red Sea.

23 So he said he would destroy them 
had not Moses, his chosen one,
stood in the breach before him
to keep his wrath from destroying them.

24 Then they despised the pleasant land;
they did not believe his promise.

25 They grumbled in their tents
and did not obey the LORD.

26 So he swore to them with uplifted hand
that he would make them fall in the desert,

27 make their descendants fall among the nations
and scatter them throughout the lands.

28 They yoked themselves to the Baal of Peor
and ate sacrifices offered to lifeless gods;

29 they provoked the LORD to anger by their wicked deeds,
and a plague broke out among them.

30 But Phinehas stood up and intervened,
and the plague was checked.

31 This was credited to him as righteousness
for endless generations to come.

32 By the waters of Meribah they angered the LORD,
and trouble came to Moses because of them;

33 for they rebelled against the Spirit of God,
and rash words came from Moses' lips. [c]

34 They did not destroy the peoples
as the LORD had commanded them,

35 but they mingled with the nations
and adopted their customs.

36 They worshiped their idols,
which became a snare to them.

37 They sacrificed their sons
and their daughters to demons.

38 They shed innocent blood,
the blood of their sons and daughters,
whom they sacrificed to the idols of Canaan,
and the land was desecrated by their blood.

39 They defiled themselves by what they did;
by their deeds they prostituted themselves.

40 Therefore the LORD was angry with his people
and abhorred his inheritance.

41 He handed them over to the nations,
and their foes ruled over them.

42 Their enemies oppressed them
and subjected them to their power.

43 Many times he delivered them,
but they were bent on rebellion
and they wasted away in their sin.

44 But he took note of their distress
when he heard their cry;

45 for their sake he remembered his covenant
and out of his great love he relented.

46 He caused them to be pitied
by all who held them captive.

47 Save us, O LORD our God,
and gather us from the nations,
that we may give thanks to your holy name
and glory in your praise.

48 Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting.
Let all the people say, "Amen!"
Praise the LORD.

Footnotes:
Psalm 106

[jamisfaithnjoy]

it was nice to have a few extra minutes to actually come into the chatroom for fellowship tonight..Definitely met alot of new faces..Had a few very intriguing conversations at times..Make ya think types..and what i miss the most really...Good ole laughs and the bulk of them over very random things...Well,ive been deleting out alot of my wording in my recent journaling posts and changing things from how i originally put them which is something i did not want to do...Free flowing thoughts to me are much more true to your REAL thoughts on something..so maybe that's it...maybe im afraid of being discovered and/or having no privacy...i used to have to change my myspaces over about 50 times because family members or relations wanted to be added but alot of times and naturally....my truest thoughts would be on them and well...sorry so sad,they probably did not like what they would have seen had i left it up...back then i was afraid of being badgered or treated badly or the worst most know,just being ignored or stayed away from because they act like your thought is a WHOLE opinion of them..not just what it was...a simple reaction to something they DID..not WHO they were...why do you think i always say people complicate the tar out of things?...But I know im allowed to feel however I do and NOT feel bad or guilty if someone reads what ive said about them?...Funny thing is if people dont like it,chances are they know it IS true..so then change it...dont bother me about what ive wrote or didnt...Mistreatment from people and men and whoever..I will NEVER walk away from my life with the Lord even if sometimes it looks as if i dont have one with Him,for ANYONE..IT TOOK ME 39 YEARS TO LEARN NO ONE OUT THERE truly cares about my feelings or will ever probably treat me right whole heartedly unless they want something for personal gain..but i tell ya something right now...i dont deal with selfishness,attitudes towards people who have done nothing wrong or any attemtps at trying to manipulate someone's emotions so you can feel better...I have a nice and deep intuition about alot of things and most come to pass...I guess that isnt always a good thing combined with I just know God isnt going to let anything happen to me..I can see through ill motives with almost crystal clear view and it only serves to annoy me..Eevrybody always wonders "what if?" they did something differently in life...Well,how about for a good reason like serving the Lord 210%?...When's the last time someone said,"Well,I really should have just went to college and become fully independent on my own and went about the world witnessing and reaching as many people as I can instead of getting stuck in this domestic duty same ole same ole,debate havocing,having to always make sure someonelse is happy and not..."what are you thinking?"...Why do people have to be so selfish that it makes someonelse feel uncomfortbale inside so they watse their time asking these dumb questions that only get normally VERY evasive answers...I used to joke around about if i ever dated again,id require an application be filled out and an IQ check...rephrasing needed..I shouldve included a SPIRITUAL background check as well along with how many times a week they do something for someonelse without being asked or paid?...Like find out what their general nature is...if you're too far different,you're going to clash like Clash of the Titans..And to be totally honest,not a movie I found appealing or even worth watching twice after i was older and able to understand what it was about...Innuendoes..What happens when we FORGET for a moment in time that God has our backs and is Almighty compared to us or our foes..Thats all for now.

[jamisfaithnjoy]

I'm sitting here listening to as I try to journal and flipping back and forth to watch the Laurel and Hardy "The Flying Deuces",1939..My son walked by a few minutes ago and I asked him to sit and watch it with me..he said,"What's it about?" Just then Hardy bent over and had a shark fin graze him so I said that.."Look at the shark fin"..In my mind and knowing my son,there was nothing I was going to say tonight that would interest him in a movie from 1939 and he was quick to point that out..."It's black and white mom."..Uh huh..Alot of the stuff I watch moviewise is..I truly enjoy the simplicity and fairly untaintedness of movies and film back then...Sometimes I just play them,like now,while I'm doing somethingelse to have it to listen to..When I started on my adult spiritual walk(much different than going to church as a child),I suddenly became actively interested in stuff wayyyyy before my time and even my mom's time...She is always very quick to point out how "old fashioned" I am due to the main theme of any given subject we talk about always gets redirected back to the Lord and/or my interest in lifestyles,morale,philosophies,etc from the era of roughly 1950's and back...But even in some of that,it's not totally approving to the Lord so I find myself quite frequently jumping from one movie to another in search of a completely wholesome movie other than my Disney collection I've started..Sad at my age but..I'd rather it be "weird" to the world than blend in and be a part of drama and confusion,violent,profane,and everythingelse that makes a movie great In Hollywood but is a total distraction to anyone journeying with the Lord..It's not always the easiest thing to do but to really sit right with God,I might have to start asking myself,"Would God watch this?" when i'm deciding on a movie because chances are if it's not approving to Him,I shouldn't be viewing it either..You know,i never used to think of this stuff even many years ago when I became saved..I knew I wasn't supposed to watch "heavy sin" type stuff and shared the wordly attitude that I see alot("there's no movies out there that are totally clean!) to justify that it was "ok" to watch a film with "just 1 or 2 cuss words in it"..No,it's not ok and that's something I'm caught offguard with sometimes...I'll be watching an actual PG rated movie and be about 1/4 to 1/2 way into a very good movie then a swear word occurs...I immediately get convicted by the Lord to turn it off but being in the flesh,my brain is now telling me,"It was only 1 swear word.if it happens again,I'll take it out"..So the movie trots along and I'm now 3/4!! of the way into it and here comes more cuss words...By now,I'm getting pretty ticked because the movie is VERY good,minus "a couple swear words"..and that's exactly what the enemy wants me to do..sit there and just accept "there's no clean movies left out there"...LIAR!..Yes there is and that's probably why,I'm sure it was the Lord,that gave me the sudden interest in very old school type movies and shows and 100% family oriented flicks..I'll admit..Of course,I don't like dealing with convictions at times because for one,I do get bored pretty easily since I havent found work around here yet so to find "fun" out in the middle of nowhere is truly a test from God in itself and I'm OK with that..I love pleasing the Lord and it hurts me when I let him down and I am also truly aware that to have a fulfilling life WITHOUT the influence of the media nowadays(which is very far from Christian-like),I'm going to have to do a total revamp on my interests altogether but here's the kicker ...There's no "I" about it...GOD is doing it for me All I have to do,is get in the passenger seat and let him do the driving..Easy enough?..Not always BUT I am having a hard time picturing me standing next to the Lord with the Book of Life someday and Him asking me why I was watching a brutal crime scene show(which has nothing to offer my spirituality whatsoever) when I could've been studying His word or simply meditating on Him..And that's how my thinking has been lately..I'll get involved in my old fascination with death moods and be looking at a medical site and usually just as quickly as I've logged onto it,the Lord says almost plain as day, "Why are you watching that?Don't you know time is running out?What have you to gain from watching THAT STUFF?"..and pretty timidly in my head I'm now answering back,"it's not like Im watching porn or a horror flick" and you'd be so surprised(or maybe not ) on how fast the Lord responds right back...I mean,I don't even get to finish my thought and he's telling me,"Rubbish..Time is of the essence and that is time wasted...Indulge yourself in some praises for me or go read my word"..and it isn't no longer than 10 minutes after Ive did sometimes over an hour of searching for a "good site",God has me right off here and in the living room reading the Bible or Christian literature I have laying around...And that's a new thing Im noticing also...I'll log off and go into the living room and on one end table I have the Our Daily Bread pamphlets stacked on top of the Bible so I'll start reading those and I hear a voice say,"Why did you overlook my Word?"..I know that source all too well the last few months..Sometimes it comes across clear as if someone's right in the room talking to me but other times it's a very,very quiet voice in my head with no tone I could actually describe as hard as I might try..I just know it's a strong command directing me to the Bible and where else would that be coming from?..Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy with all this but from what I've read and studied,that's par for the course..And believe me,there's been a couple times Ive wanted to set up an appointment with a doctor and get on some kinda medication BUT every time,it never goes through because the same small voice tells me,"What do you need those for?Where is your faith?"..And I'm like,"Huh?"..thinking it has nothing to do with faith but...oh yes it does and he's made it clear to me...IF I am walking in Him,there is no need for sedation of ANY kind because I am in His reality..and a Holy War...I'm not going clinically nuts and as out of control in my head I feel at times which is usually brought on by other people's spiritual battles but I've decided unless Im going to go hide in a box somewhere or move to a deserted island,chances are,this is something I'm going to have to keep going through..I'm thinking as I get stronger in the Lord,it'll all be fairly trivial to me or at least more tolerable somehow..That's the one thing that's hard about being a Christian..it is toooo easy to forget NOT everyone is on the same level in their walk with God...it's like God can have you up here^^^ but your immediate family consists of people just discovering Him or more hard to understand for some but..You can be very strong in the Lord but you've suddenly got thrown a good set of curveballs and now you're standing at the plate looking like you don't even know who God is..and everyone watching is thinking the same thing..but before you know it,the game is over and you're dusting your shoulders off,not paying attention to all the thoughts you can almost audibly hear and look to the sky and thank God for another day..The day you were in was good for the most part but had plenty of "little bumps" too and then you notice,hmmmm...This always seems to be much more magnified on a Sunday,why's that?..And you know why so you just hug everyone you've wronged through that day or let everyone go to bed on a positive note..Not that you're ignoring you're own flaws for that day but you have every intention on offering all your mistakes up to God..and you can be quite sure every time you choose to repeat them,life is going to get harder BUT our totally magnificent and awesome Lord and Saviour is not going to leave us..How did we ever deserve a love like that?..We didn't...Look at all we've done and sometimes continue to do..We must be very,very small compared to the Lord...and I thought about that earlier...I actually envisioned God being the human and us being a little tiny ant..and you know he doesn't step on the ant but instead allows for it to walk by...God is so precious and so are His children..He knew what He was doing when he created all of us and this Earth..Look at my title on this area..The Lord knows it's the truth and there's been a couple times I've wanted to change it because sure,it's hard to face up to the fact we do sin because when we love God so much,it pains us to admit to that,let alone be faced with it..Thats how we learn though..Sometimes it feels like we're not learning or learning much when things get really,really tough but we just have to remember our God is tougher than our deepest flaw and it's nothing he can't just take a tweezer to and remove...But we have to let Him...sometimes it seems it'd be easier if he did control our lives so we wouldnt mess up so much but then again,if that were the case,what would the point be in creating us?We'd just be robots..Something to ponder in spare time@Free will and what do we need to be doing in our walk with God at this point..There's a fork in the road..Which way are we going to go?...Goodnight,Love everybody

[jamisfaithnjoy]

has been a pretty good day..I got out of bed a bit later than usual,made the bed,folded and put all our blankets and sheet away,did the dishes(at least 3? times,lol)vacuumed,dusted the computer area which had alot of dust on it and some stray white dog hairs.After a 2 week hunt to find Jake a good home,I feel we did find a good suitable owner who said he was "very adorable" after her first thinking/saying on the phone before we met,"Can I see a picture of him?I don't know why but I'm just thinking a mini-bulldog pug mix is going to be an ugly dog"..her words to a T..I remember laughing,not so much because it was funny because it wasn't but because
of how brash the comment was..In a strange way,it reminded me of my hardcore prior Christian days and just my overall upfrontedness..My spirituality is to the point for the most part to where when I do hear someone say someone or an animal is "ugly",my immediate response is,"God doesnt make ugly" or "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder",knowing full and well either route I take is going to get shot down by the person saying it so in a sense im wasting my time even responding but because Im human,it's pretty natural to come back with something for a conversation..Who knows..I'm seeing that alot in myself the last couple of days..generally,the same things go on around me or wherever I go and naturally,it's all "worldliness" going on and a conversation will start..usually somewhere in the mix is a negative response from the person and I'll reply back BUT..I dont digest their comment..What I mean by that is I would normally respond back,let the negative vibes of it all wash down on me and then before I knew it,im in a conversation filled with nothing but confusion and/or chaoticness of some form..I just let it pretty much roll off my shoulders now..For one,it does no good to react to a wordly conversation because nothing good can come out of it and 2..It's the Lord making that happen and I am so appreciative for it...Today was the 1st time in almost a week I've had to take Tylenol for a stress headache from getting caught up in "the world's game" ..Well,for one I don't play "games" BUT if I catch myself in them,I play to win..That's always been my nature..Am I competitive?No,not in the least bit because I know one of 2 things is going to happen typically..Either I'm going to give 200% of whatever is required for whatever it is that I seek or..I'll just walk away..I learned after January 15th, 2005..there isn't a thing in this world stressing yourself to the point you about croak over..In a worldly view,..If you die,how much sleep do you really think people are going to lose over you?..This world is moving at such a speed,that within a month at best from your most dearly loved ones,they might be pretty much over your death and the people that don't like you?..Well,you know they don't want you here anyways on this Earth soooooo....I think the best answer here is to LIVE for God because He is ALIVE and IF you have to have a stressor,let it be the normal bumps and rolls we all go through trying to journey our way through this life and on to Heaven..I've been thinking the last couple of days I have yet to return to my testimony area on here..Why it's even crossing my mind is clearly beyond me...I'm involved in so much as it is and that's truly just one more thing I'd have to commit to and even though it doesn't take much precendence over things I have going on offline,"something" is telling me to go back and at least work on it some more...I don't think God wants me to take 3 years with it,which if I had my choice I would..I mean,I'm in no hurry to rehash my life especially since Ive definitely moved past most all parts of it@the hurt,pain and crazy things...I tell you what...Although very stressful at times,kids are great to have around..My son keeps me so busy sometimes but today was really fun...We have an inflatable pool out back around 3? foot deep or so...Not very big but big enough to where the kids that come here from time to time,it is depth appropriate for their age,hence safe..and my son asked if we could drag the really big airbed we have outside also and align it with the pool and use it for a mega slip n slide.(my idea for my son and the kids i was babysitting the other day..and they had the greatest time ever out there)..And I told him earlier today I would get on it a couple times..Telling him I was "older" and didn't think I could hop on that thing and slide more than about 2 times ..I surprised myself because I lost count of how many times I went on it..Davey hadnt planned on getting on it but after Sam asked him a few times and he had seen my big ole butt running out there and flying across our slip-n-slide concoction,he did a couple times..For the most part,I am very health-concious...I say for the most part because I do have cake sometimes and have drank more pop/soda this last month than I have in years...And sometimes it's only a can a day BUT I can typically skip months before I even want one as I prefer my green tea with pomengranate,juices and water over carbonic acid any day..Just sometimes I didn't take the time out to make some the night before for the following day or I get a sporadic urge for Mountain Dew Voltage and get it..I gotta quit that though and not let it become a habit..I know full and well the downside to pop medically,hypoglycemic I am and more than sometimes remember a study at the University in my teenage hometown that was done where the professor filled up an aquarium with Coca Cola,put a lead pipe in it and after only a couple months,the pop totally corroded the pipe!The synoposis of that study was,you guessed it...Look what pop does to your insides!..And I have to quit this late night chips for a snack ive been doing the last few days and replace it with the watermelon I do have in the fridge..it's one thing if you don't know to do the right thing..even something thats isn't on alot of people's "to do list"-eating what's good for you and giving it your absolute best shot to abstain from what isn't good for your body...Same goes with your soul..So much processed foods especially carbs have so much stuff in it that can't be good for you..I used to live by a rule of thumb I created on my own and will probably go back to it..."If i cannot pronounce it,I'm not eating it."...Look at most labels on non healthy food products..can you even pronounce the half of it with ease? Unless you're a walking book,you're not going to be able to breeze through the word with clear ease..My point...Cook from scratch..Most anything you can.complete scratch..You say you don't know how?...That's totally fantastic because I need a partner in this area..A friend that wasn't born in the kitchen either but doesn't have a history of blazing the kitchen down that wants to learn a healthier way to eat AND doing that by making the food yourself because...why other than,when you cook it,you know exactly what's going into it...You say you don't have time for all that..Well,if you're a mirror image of the old me and the me Im praying to get rid of..the one that has to wait until a doctor's appointment to find out, "Uh oh..if i had only turned down those 12 doughnuts or used wheat noodles for spaghetti instead of white"..If 12 doughnuts sounds like an exaggeration to you,you've never had a Krispy Kreme or a big fat custard doughnut straight from any deli of your choice..Oh man..they should be illegal seriously..It's been a good while but I used to be able to nail a box of Krispy Kreme's on my own between 1-2 days,comfortably and every few days I'd do that ..I haven't had them in many months now..This is just another area God is bringing to full light for me..Straighten up my eating habits and even the ones where the Bible teaches us what is clean and unclean because I am very much wanting to even eat how God wants me to..I do not take it for granted that just because my normal eating routine far as meats,fish and chicken go are pretty much matched up with the Bible already before I got into the teachings on it(which im still working on),that i won't backslide in that area also...and why?...Because ANY TIME you try to do what's right and ESPECIALLY if it's with the Lord in mind,there's going to be opposition from you know where..and everywhere..and being caught offguard is a snap of the fingers...Fine example...2 days ago,out of literally nowhere driing back from the beach,we unanimously decided to eat at Ponderosa AFTER I had really been doing good with monitoring ,not even what I would call a diet..Just eating right to stay healthy..and it was my idea! No one had more than 2 plates and we spent out the butt on it and it wasn't even a great variety to say the least..A total letdown..What would have been the better answer?...To LISTEN to that still small voice I had going on that kept telling me to go back home and eat instead of me sitting there thinking,"well,there's nothing at home quick to fix and im hungry"..That's it and I knew it was God or the Holy Spirit trying to get me to listen..Then a little bit..I guess I didnt think about it so hard then and there but in hindsight,it WAS the Lord...He knew I was going to go waste money on that place and NOT come out fulfilled either physically or spiritually because I am very big on 2 things...wasting food and spending money on anything beyond dollar menus because there's so many pople out there not eating a thing..Yes,I do think about that alot and EVERY TIME we are on the road and have to eat out..I feel bad about it..So me and Davey had already had a few talks about it and Lord be willing,we're going to do what we should be doing which is cook up what we have here and prepare it ourselves healthily..Plus,eating at home really does save alot more money if you're cooking from scratch...sure,initially there's a bit more spendature(my own word)involved because you have to get all the basic ingredients together but you find after a couple dishes,it's paid for itself..Plus,I've worked in restaurants and I've seen firsthand what many do with the food and then serve it..You would think that would be stuck in my head permanantly in itself but it isn't..I just dont overload my brain with a ton of things out of my hands anyways or I end up doing what our lamp just did@the lightbulb blew..One day at a time,slow down the brain,the world wasnt made in a day...cliches,cliches...I need some TRUTH...so I'm going to go check out a couple of the forums on here and see where the Lord draws me on here for a little longer..I never know where Im going to end up on this site..He leads and I just go wherever He says..Multiple places the lat few nights and that's ok..But i do gotta get some sleep a bit earlier tonight..I want to mow the lawn early in the morning before the heat really cranks up,if it's going to...Hard telling..Today was a pretty cool day,no humidity...God bless everyone,Goodnight and love you..

[jamisfaithnjoy]

I just had a few extra minutes to surf through the topics some and came across the Many Called Few Chosen link/test,took it and scored a 81-90%.I really figured I'd score much lower.So much for assuming.Something that doesn't work out for the better or Glory of God either...it was an interesting test..Most questions but 2 I answered very promptly,without hesitation.I think the other 2 it was a matter of there being a couple answers I was completely divided on as far as the complete truth and there here and now,not answering by my past or what I would like to be more of@the future so that's that.. Have a great day everybody..Have a very busy evening ahead..I have to finish dinner,go get Sam a baseball mit and then onto his practice game with our church.They said he's not old enough to actually be on the team now,after they checked with the heads but he was more than welcome to come play and fellowship with the group in practice times,which he's chosen to do and I do think that's wonderful.And come out and support the team,which we did last Sunday also..it's been a very bumpym ride around this house at times but I can see where the Lord is working and..where I need to more as well...God bless and take care,be back sometime later today maybe.Will have to see

[jamisfaithnjoy]

A general overview of my day
-----------------------------------
I'll start from the evening..Around 3ish,Sam and I fired up the grill and I cooked 4 pieces of chicken and the rest of the smoked sausage we had,then I heated up some corn,buttered and peppered it and buttered 3 pieces of bread.I've been remembering to say grace before every meal and I think only a couple of times I like would stick my fork in my food or use my spoon and then recall to say grace.I think it's really important to make the effort for sure to thank God for the food He provides for us and to not take that for granted no matter how rich or poor we are.He(Davey) then hopped in the shower and I finished doing whatever I was doing at the time@cant remember,lol but I'm sure it was dishes,again, or tidying up something in the house or yard.And you know,now that I think of it,I should take time to read the Bible even during the day and break the monotony of my norm@all that stuff.the housework?Definitely not going anywhere.Yardwork?Unless a good storm comes by,it'll be there too.How easy it is to get lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday and just focus on reading the Bible at night when I know I'm already going to be tired.That all just came into my head outta nowhere,hmmm...How would I feel if everytime I needed the Lord He said,"Well,you know I'm really tired so make it quick.You've got a half hour."..What if what I needed from Him took more than a half hour or more?How would I sit feeling that He was always rushing me along and not taking in anything I was really saying..Do I think God thinks like that probably?Yes I do..So I will pray right now and ask God to help me with that,be right back...Ok,I'm back..This is weird...Everything that i've discussed on here so far other than the evening part of my day wasn't planned at all and all the thoughts I had BEFORE i came on this journal are now gone somewhere over yonder But you know what? I don't think this is the usual@A.D.H.D and memory issues because I feel like I'm being led to talk,not on my own whatever you call it...So yeah,I did a bad thing today..I haven't been able to have a normal bowel movement in days(IBS and somethingelse Im suspecting,probably sugar related)so I thought last night maybe I would just go buy a pack of smokes,menthol,because last year they would help me go to the bathroom in no time..Well,it sat on my conscience all night when I was awake not to,telling myself that's no excuse,that i could just go buy an enema or something..I'm going to tell you how quickly the enemy catches you offguard..This morning,so NOT my routine at all,I went a bought a pack.Yes,I had a bowel movement right away BUT I ended up smoking more than required AFTERWARDS and started feeling real sluggish..Why?Because cigarettes are bad for you,period..So why did I do it in the 1st place?Without going into circles here,I will tell you that the mind is a literal playground for bad forces and UNLESS you are constantly armed with the Lord,this is the kinda crap you're going to fall into,some not as yuck and others maybe more so..And I even messaged a friend back and forth on here during the day that I've really come to care for so that doesn't make me feel any better..Not because they dont know that's a battle of mine because they do but because..you know..I guess it's because I suspect they do care about me and don't want me to go to hell..Wow,I cant believe I just said that..but it's true..if i were to die in my sin,something tells me I'm not going to Heaven and all my time and efforts of trying so hard to please God and help others find God and be a blessing to Him is all going to be in absolute vain..So I'm praying the Lord gets ahold of my butt with that but not too hard..I don't really like being in pain...Maybe that's why he has it eat up my conscience so bad because cancer does hurt and he wants to spare me from it..I've watched people actively die with cancer and even though my friend Jenny was the 2nd most devout Christian I have ever met in my life and made death look actually beautiful and totally serene,that is not the norm.Not when it's people nopt 100% completely and totally livign for the Lord..then death is something almost unbearable and is to watch..I remember this lady in the e.r. back when I was admitted in 2005 for internal bleeding that was dying in a room a few down from mine..She didn't look much older than I'd say 40's,appeared alert and was looking around rather frantically and I heard them say she was going to be dead soon..I totally recall being completely dumbfounded because it didnt look like she was going anywhere...and looking back now,very clearly wasn't ready from the look on her face..I have alot of really bad memories of things and even though,thank the Lord for that too,they don't usually cross my mind on a day to day basis(there's no reason for them to)I think the Lord does use them to alert! me to the fact I have a chance NOW to NOT go like that and I'd better be doing something about it@cementing my walk with Him long before..Dont wait until it's too late..So what else happened today?..I took many times out from what i was doing to pet Trooper and let him know he's loved...He's so funny because when i go to the bathroom,he follows me and waits outside the door and sticks his paw under the door..Sometimes he just lays there waiting for me..But last night was really funny...I would be walking back and forth through the house and he'd walk right behind me batting at my feet..as if to say,"Hey!Im down here..Stand still long enough for me to play with you"..and when I do dishes,he sits hisself under the chair by the sink and waits for me to walk by and then paws my foot..I told him earlier he's so loyal..The only thing is he is starting to go out onto the deck when I have the door open now@feeling all better so he thinks its time to return to the street..I said that to davey and he laughed@"you are not an outside cat just ebcause you're feeling better"..You know,I left the word because like it is^,lol simply because most of the time when I type it,it always ends up like that unless i catch it and delete it Oh..and around 5 ,we took Sam to the softball field where they practice and no one from the team was there?..So we went to the other place they play,at our church and no one was there either! So we went inside and asked this lady if she knew what was going on with the game.She said they were out back but we told her no one was there so she called 3 different people trying to figure out what was going on. 2 didnt answer and the coach hisself said they should be at the school,where we first went but she told him no one was there.He had no clue what was going on then..We didn't know where else to check that they'd be so I looked at my son and told him,"Maybe God isn't wanting you to be there today for some reason"..He's learning when I say that there's a reason behind everything and many times,we're not going to know or figure out why.Maybe not til later or something..But we ran our errand before we went game searching and I bought him a rubber baseball(so it doesnt take the neighbor's windows out or ours) and a set of bases,pitcher's mound plate and homeplate thing..When we did finally get home,we went out there and played ball with him because i could tell he was pretty upset and looked like he was starting to get depressed about it..it took him about a half hour ebfore he finally came outside to play...I tell you what..Any batting skills I have were left in the 70's,lol..I told him the bat handle was too small ,which it was extremely smaller than I had ever remembered bats being so after about 3 tries,I gave davey the bat and let him do it...We discovered I'm the pitcher,Davey's the batter between the 2 of us..Sam is really good at batting..Probably too good,lol..Every other time he bats,were on a neighborhood hunt for the ball..Most times when we go out hunting for it I find it..it's usually in places where no one looks or walks@high grass or roughly 50 feet further than where he saw it go and that's ok..I dont mind helping him look for the ball..But i wont do it until im sure he's already tried 1st..Lazy isnt in my son's vocabulary but he's getting back into this game online called Endless and it takes alot of his focus BUT..he's doing 200% better at everyone getting their time on here if they want it..compromise..something i myself have gotten better at...just lots of different qualities that are important in life that dont come overnight or easily to people sometimes..especially if you were independent and minded as long as I was..you're not used to anyone doing anything for you so operating on that pretense doesnt come easy..but nothing worth having does ive learned except God..in a sense,it's easy because all I had to do was accept Him into my heart but where the hard part comes in is what ive said before..scooting over and letting him do the driving..Im starting to become a better passenger for Him..He's gotta be happy about that Goodnight and God Bless everyone

[jamisfaithnjoy]

couple weeks I want to start fishing as a means of eating for a very big part.Not only would it be cheaper but it's good for you.Depending on what water or the type of water it comes out of.So I'm going to have to do some checking around on that.I brought it up to Davey and he thought it was an ok idea since we all(him,myself and Sam)enjoy fishing.The only thing is I won't watch it being cleaned,head cut off and all that stuff.I don't have the heart or stomach for it..Before you laugh or giggle at me,I didn't start baiting my own hook until my late 20's and I STILL feel bad when I have to..but we also gotta eat so,that's my food goal this year...To pray for strength and a stronger stomach to be able to eat off the land..just starting with fish though..Nothing else right now..I don't think I could eat an actual chickien I raised or anything although my grandpa told me before I used to eat their farm animals when I was young and didn't know it...That's not very nice! Okie dokie...back to watching E.T. or I might take it out...I've seen the movie I don't know how many times and tonight's the first time I caught 3 cuss words now so far..I'm not going to have anything left to watch before it's over

[jamisfaithnjoy]

It's getting kinda late so I'm going to have to finish the part of my life I was working on at a later time..If you read it,it shouldn't be too hard to understand why I'm also not in a rush to@be rehashing all that..That was the 1st or 2nd most horrible thing as an adult that has happened to me..It has some competetion with the fear I had when on January 14th,2005..In both instances,my life flashed before my eyes..the only difference between the 2 was Jan 2005's was very quick and unexpected..But moving along..today was a pretty good day..me and my boy exchanged words only a couple of times..there really isn't a thing to do in this town so I know he's right there so like alot of folks do that live in these types of towns(@population 2,lol ,adult or children do,is sit on the computer..not neccessarily "all day" but a good portion of it..I used to be one and may be one again someday because after my own housework,which never seems to end,cooking and all domestic duties,except when Im reading my Bible or these Christian magazines I picked up from my church last week,I get completely bored outta my mind too...Solution for 2 highly energized people living in the sticks?To get another computer..done deal..all i have to get now is another ethernet cord but..now the router box keeps shutting the web service down on both...at first i thought it was just doing it to the other computer figuring it had an unforeseen issue or something but as soon as I turned that one off and came onto this one for volume(other doesnt have speakers yet),I was watching the Lee Greenwood video and it lost connectivity..The way it goes..My friend Carol from church called me today and told me,"I was thinking about you earlier and just thought I'd let you know their having fireworks in Washington tonight"..I thought that was so sweet because how random is it that someone goes through their day and you cross their mind in a good way?lol..All humor aside,I truly was just very happy when she said that..it makes you feel like you're cared about and not forgotten at heart..She's originally from the general area I was living also before I moved down here..She lived back up north also then moved to this area almost 8 years ago after she met someone through,Yahoo(i wanna say,pretty sure but not 100%).I know they met on the internet.She moved down here,they got married as well..So that's my 1 friend in this area..Mary is my friend also but I really don't think she's a Christian BUT i also can't be assuming she's not because she has some "offkey" wordly ways about her at times..It's getting very easy to see what Jesus meant by telling us to not become self-absorbed in being a Christian and putting ourselves seemingly permanantly on this pedestal of sorts..What I'm talking about is we starting getting down certain parts of our walk with God,realize as we've been told by others or can just plain see for ourself,that we have made "progress".Uh oh..all the real< sinners,we think,now start to get on our nerves..Oh geesh,worse yet we have people with profound knowledge about God speaking about a topic that isn't so nice and although we would never admit it to someonelse,it's almost like they wrote it for us!How dare them write a sermon about something Im struggling about and now I gotta hear it on a early Sunday morning?? Guess what? You're going to hear the message God has for YOU however He has to get it to you,whether it's on a Sunday,Monday or at your workplace or even at a great time such as a birth of a grandchild?..See,God doesn't wait for us to be ready to hear the TRUTH..Why?..Well,let's see...Could it be that there'd never be a good time and He knows it?...Oh man,who is this powerful man who gives me seemingly no chance anymore to mess up too bad..It's like I start running to the races with some kinda negative issue,whether brought on by me feeding into the crap going on around me,wherever that is or my own mind just spinning wheels and wasting time over something all my thinking power in the world isn't going to change..Like the who I consider friends issue..My local friend 'round here has always been very respectful to me,very friendly and polite and just loves talking to me,i can tell,lol..So she cuts a few cuss words loose every now and then?And I have some family members who don't exactly have the ole Mother Teresa's language..Why do we dwell AWAY or shy away from people that aren't quite like us or don't know God in an obvious fashion we can see?..What would you do if a junkie walked into your church all cracked out and sat down in a pew?..I wouldn't even want to guess how many people would start talking amongst themselves INSTEAD of going directly to the Lord in prayer FIRST..and what in the world does gossip solve anyways? ESPECIALLY when someone's soul is on the line..You know what's going to happen someday if we keep using the "I'm not a perfect Christian line" as an almost instant defense to situations we KNOW we could've handled much differently and would've resulted in a good outcome that would have given God ALL the glory instead of none..Maybe when we die and start transending our way to Heaven,God will look us straight in the eye and say,"I'm not a perfect God" and hit an "oops" button..then guess where we're going to end up?..Not In heaven..If you really believe that being saved gives you a ticket to not help even the gays,the hookers and prostitutes,the teenagers on drugs and every other evil that is sooo much easier to "definitely leave for someonelse" because "I just don't think that'd be something I'm good at"..Or maybe we all could,myself included,just spend one daycarry around a voice recorder recording our responses to every single thing that happened that day as far as interactions with others..review it at the end of the day and compare our answers to "Would God have responded this way?"..and think real hard on it..Not only will we be appalled at our reactions(you'd be surprised how often we react in such a negative fashion and dont even notice it because it's been going on for so long)but it might just cause us to view the world a little differently..Are we REALLY all that different than what I'll call the "active sinners"?..If you're telling yourself yes,you have more work to do than I do...ALL of us have fallen short of the glory of God..None,not one is righteous..if you're income is $85,000..you are no more pure or better than your fellow "sister" or "brother" who is living barely above the poverty line..We came from dust,we return to dust..You can't take your mansion in the sky with you when you go and I can't take my dirty weed wacker...I oft wonder how many people don't make it to Heaven and have spent a whole lifetime career out of doing good deeds,helping others and preaching the Gospel...Do you know how many of them folks would never shake hands with someone with A.I.D.S,help the most foul mouthed teen or adult find God and stand by their side any time day or night without looking at them in utter disgrace,and befriend the "welfare mom" whose pushed 8 kids out,in government housing and working and trying to change her life but the attitude,EVEN FROM Christians,does happen and is beyond less than Holy...I read what I thought was the most comical thing I've ever heard within the Bible and the REASON I thought it was so funny is because it's the TRUTH...Those who are well don't need a physician..Those who are living in perfection don't need Christ..But there are plenty of people out there who have been humbled by the Lord one too many times,have made blatantly obvious mistakes such as abort their children,leave their spouses and even turn their backs on their own churches who have tried to help them.I'm talking about the churches who don't keep "hush hush" things under the rugs and gossip about the downtrodden behind closed doors...In anything and everything we do,there are NO closed doors..There are no such thing as secrets..and the Lord created every living,breathing and non breathing thing..If we stop and take a deep look within ourselves and look at ourselves as the Lord truly looks down on us,maybe we wouldn't be so quick to dissect someonelse's life or spirituality and instead be the kind of child Jesus EXPECTS his Chosen ones to be..sacrificial to Him AND mankind...That's so hard,isn't it? Or is it really?If only we would take the cotton out of our ears and stick it in our mouth more often we could actually "hear" what the Lord has been trying to tell us all along..Time is short..The end is getting near..And there are way,way too many lost souls out there and here we sit..Playing the armchair warrior of mankind..Excuse me God,you may have your seat back now...I know I did a horrible job trying to see people as You do..Why did Jesus ever give his life for folks like me?..God Bless....Dear Lord,I thank you for this day I had and I thank you for feeding me today.I ask dear Lord that you be with me tomorrow and help me to be more nicer to xx even when the harsh words are coming at me...I pray dear Lord you will intervene quickly as I don't want to create a wedge between me and xx as you know he's just really trying to change for the better for You Lord,not me, and the more he tries,that harder the world comes at Him but you know this Lord..You know his heart..Help give me the patience,if only for the day I'm in,to remember this battle of life is yours to be won,not mine.Spank me when I need it and thank you for the warm hugs and never ending love..God is good,so magnificent and awesome..Lord,please go with me as I go to sleep tonight and protect those I love from harm and PLEASE,help them to find you and accept what you have to offer them.Thank you Jesus,I love you.