Christianity Oasis Forum

[xxJILLxx]

Finally going to be able to work on the childrens room in the church this week.

We planned a camping trip this tuesday! This should be fun, not sure bout all the bugs though. Good thing i have a handy bug killer to protect me.

This will be our first venture out in the wild. Me and nate are excited! Heres a sad thing... the teens dont want to go, we might cramp their style or soemthing. Guess we all went through that eh? I remember whe i was a teen i never wanted to do anything with my parents, had much better things to do.

Anyways hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

God bless
♥JIll

[xxJILLxx]

So many times people saw the worst in me. When i made a mistake, how quickly i was condemned. This brought about this feeling of shame that overcame me.

How easily it is to point out flaws, but to point out accomplishments and praise us for the good that i do try to do, sometimes i dont accomplish the good i set out to do. Or not the way i thought it was going to end up.

Punish punish punish... Yes there are consequences to our mistakes but i thank God that He rebukes us with an easy loving hand to tap us back onto the right path. Then once we realise our wrong He forgets about the offense to restore the relationship with us again. He doesnt alienate us or push us away. He doesnt ignore us. He doesnt rub our noses into our mess He helps us to clean up. He gets His hands dirty, whatever it takes He will do it. He never gives up on us. He never throws up His hands and turns His back to us. He loves us, just because.. mistakes and all.... we've all had our share of them, why is it so hard for us to remember where He brought us from? Are we too good now? God forbid! I thank God He reached down into my pit i made for myself and found it His business to help me out. He let me make mistakes along the way, or else i wouldnt of learned... i thank God He doesnt judge me on them now. I thank God he doesnt hold every untruth, things i stole, drunkeness, sexual immorality, anger, frustration, murder, cheating, the list goes on and on doesnt it? But He doesnt hold them over my head does he? Yes He is a just God and we deserve the consequences to our actions, but once done and consequences develope from our actions we sit back and contemplate.. and it either gives us the chance to reflect on righteous behavior or we start to get angry at the consequences or even the one we think is holding the consequences over our head.

Anyways... i thank God that He is good to all His children, not just me and He is patient with us all. It is my prayer that I become more like Him in all these areas of my life.

Love you all

God bless
♥Jill

[vahn]

Hello Jill

When still in Maine , and our Lord bestowed upon me the privilege ("gift" ?) of a position of counseling/sponsoring , I can't remember how many times I would hear (having said that myself as well) the infamous "Why am I STILL being treated like that !!" , I would end up wracking my brains trying to find an answer for them . Until one day , after a considerable time of prayer and meditation and talking to my sponsor (who at the time , didn't seem to have a specific answer himself) , riding out of town on a speaking commitment , we stopped at a roadside diner for a "stretch and a coffee" . To break the monotony of the road I reach for the mag-rack , on a gossip leaflet , with big , bold , red letters I read this "Where are they now ?" headliner , Bingo !! (of course all Gary had to say was "Ahh ... And ? ... ??)

See , every action we take , the action itself expresses something to other people and they perceive that as who we are , even though the action(s) itself be against our own will and morals , nevertheless , that is what they see . Now multiply that by a considerable length of time and repetition , that "image" gets imbedded in their heads , hence the expression " You've ALWAYS been like that ,(That's who you are) " .

Ok , FFWD - We learn , we make necessary adjustments , we change - to the point where some (positive thinking) people who knew us before can't even recognize us and they go something like "What happened to you ?!?" and they're all happy about it right ? , We all gone through that . But ...
There's always those one or two people , who , because of the changes made , are not benefiting from the "freebees" they used to get from our old selves , and out of pure self-centredness , they resort to the old " You shoulda seen" shenanigans to others , rehashing or rekindling the negative until they get the "She/he ALWAYS been like that" going again . Simply out of their own selfish "losses" as a result of the changes , in other words , They don't WANT you to change even if it makes you a happier , better person .

One more thing and I'll shut up .
The people who have not gone through the changes with us , stay where they were as far as forming an image of us through the expression of our actions , that's what they saw , that's what they know .

I KNOW , who I WAS before , through the Grace and changing Power of our Almighty Lord , I definitely KNOW who I am TODAY . So ... Who's stuck ??


In Christ , our Lord

[xxJILLxx]

Hello hun,

Thank you for your words of wisdom. Love you sooo much!

xoxoxoxoxo

ok ok enuff of the mushy stuff, i think..

n e way, today started out with tears of frustration.

Last nite me and vahn went to a AA meeting, when getting inside the destination i got a revisit from my dark past. YUK! I was so frightened to face this demon that all i wanted to do was RUN, as fast as i could to try to hide my past up under the rug. Well needless to say vahn made me face my demon and comforted me and let me know that this was not a mistake of us being there. So last nite was a bit of every bad emotion you could think of especially fearful. Fearful of the man i love to find out some dark secrets i had held on to. I came clean and you know what? He said it doesnt matter, you are not that person any more, i still love you.

Hmmmmmmmm.........

Thank you Lord for saving a wretch like me... i didnt deserve it.

Today after a tearful start to my morning, we get to church and i was greeted with hugs and a wonderful message that God has been working on me with about the healing pools. Afterwards we stayed over and worked on the church, knocked some shelving out, had some fun vahn played the keyboard and was jammin' and me and nate hooked up the mic and we sang our favorite kim walker songs.

It was so much fun, very liberating and i felt free. Felt like a caged bird who was set free from some dark things that tried to taunt and haunt me but when i came clean to my love, his opinion never changed of me, not one bit... in fact he said he loved me more now, knowing how much i had changed.

How much more our heavenly Father loves us than this. I love you Lord! I give you all the glory of the changes within, for without you i would be the same miserable person i was then.

Joy comes in the morning! Had a blessed day with Him.

Love you all
♥Jill

[vahn]

Hey Jill

I hope this thread won't end up as Songs of Solomon (Continued ...)

Ok , so , God already knows where we been and done , and still Graced us with His forgiveness , He's not the type to look back , you kno .
What He sees is what we are doing and who we have become in the here and now , it is us who cling on to our past , hence becoming bondaged and enslaved to our past , paralyzing us from moving forward .

You kno what else ? Half an hour ago , was my past !!



In Christ , our Lord

[xxJILLxx]

System overload

So many changes in my life in such a short time. Pulling this way pulling that way. ma this... ma that... do this .. do that... but this .. but that... why mom? why not mom? but mom... i dont want to.. i dont like it.... your different mom... i want things to go back the way they were mom... i dont like change mom...its not fair... im leaving... im staying... choose mom... choose mom but choose my choice not yours... i want you to do this mom.. im happy when your not happy mom...your being selfish mom...your going to church but not our church mom...

Give me a break!

I was overloaded, broken down... BUT my circumstances is not bigger than my God! He is on the throne and He reigns and there He will remain forever and ever ~Amen!

Summer is here, everyone wants to do there own thing but dont want mom to do hers...

Guess what?

I am moving forward, are you coming with me? I will be here with my hand out but i am not staying where you want me to .. i am moving forward i want you to come with me but i cant stay.. i have to keep walking.. i have to keep growing in Him... i have to go where He leads me to go...

God bless

♥Jill

[mlg]

Jill I was listening to the radio this morning...and they talked about this exact thing...how teens tend to want to run the show instead of respecting us as adults...so here's the thing...we have to ask the kids...does God care which church I go to? does God say I have to go to a specific church? then tell them you have to follow what God wants from you and not what they want. When they say mom my way or the highway...say would you like me to help you find the highway?...it takes a bit of tough love at times...but they have to realize you are the parent...they are the children...and God leads the direction for all.

Praying for you sis.

luv ya

[xxJILLxx]

Seems like a lot of that going on as of late, eh? Sounds pretty familiar from the book of revelation.

Love you sis thank you for the prayers

ok here it goes


PreMarital counseling. (YES, i got vahn to go to a counselor, not just any counselor tho, our pastor) Got a lot of ground covered today. Alot of things were brought out into the light with some good sound advice that came from His Word. It went very well i think .

love you all
Jill

[xxJILLxx]

So much weighing on my heart right now, and my mind.

How can i feel so free one day and the next feel trapped in my mind again.

I feel like i cant even function correctly let alone do the rest of everthing else.

We had a wedding date set but later to find out that day will not work for the kids, they will be out of town with the church.

Last nite i had a reply all typed out then i deleted it after reading it over and said what is the use, went to bed frustrated, woke up frustrated and edgy, went to church and felt great after hearing the sermon, then to go into premarital counseling and then there it was... the magnitude of this decision and how many times i had goofed up my decisions and the weight of the pressures blogging me down, "Do i know what i am doing?" "Am i sure of this" "Look at all the rest of your decisions you made, how did they turn out?" I am my worst enemy and I hate the way i think.

Our homework was to read the love chapter.

My mind is all over the place today.

God bless
♥JIll

[mlg]

Remember this sis...the enemy does not like Godly marriages and will do everything He can to stop one from happening....Keep God first and foremost always.

luv ya

[goldieluvs]

awwwww jilly

Having never been married before I have absolutely NO insight on that, but i can make a general statement, tho mlgs post sounded awesome; i just wanted to add, our past is just that..... past, sounds like ya learned from ur mistakes (as most of us do) Just keep on sis,,, pray to Daddy!

[Dora]

This time the marriage begins with God behind both of you. That is what makes the difference.