Christianity Oasis Forum

[Vessel of Honour]

Typed Monday and posted Monday
Step #11



I appreciate all the encouragement Thanks everyone.

Sunday was awesome. I have been praying about a certain situation for about 3 years. It concerns my Hubby and an emotional problem that haunts him. It also concerns my church and pastor. I did something which I believe was under the direction of the Holy Spirit, and obviously he didn't think so. I know my intentions and motives were rooted in love. Well anyway to make a long story short he went up and received prayer about it, that was a milestone.



I really love step #11 The Holy Spirit. I do need to surround more actually everything to Him. Actually, in the lesson where it mentioned taking out a white flag and waving it I saw in my minds eye five of me standing in a field and each one of me was waving white flag. Awesome I Think the Holy Spirit is telling me a have at least five areas to surrender if not more. By His Grace and help I will.

Wasn't able to read the extra teaching on the "Spirit of Truth". It's 1:05 am I'll have to read it later today.

Gotta get some

The Miracle Program is coming along but it could be a little better. It's difficult because tomorrow and Wednesday I have to go back to mom's, but I'm plugging along. Praise the Lord!

Bye for now.

[mlg]

Vessel, you've made it to step 11...awesome...

On the Spirit of Truth study...it's another 7 day program...so you might want to add it on and do it as you go along with this program. That way you won't feel to overwhelmed.

Some thoughts on the Holy Spirit sis...He is our guide and our comforter...He wants to be part of your life continually as He lives within you...and He wants to be noticed by you...He loves you.

Have a great trip to your mom's house.

luv ya sis

[Vessel of Honour]

Typed Tuesday and posted Tuesday
Step #12

Hi Everyone

Fallen Down many times. Some of them where in a big way and I know the devil has tired to keep me down, by hating myself, and not forgiving myself. I thank the Holy Spirit for helping me to get back up. As time goes by, or should I say as the enemy throws his accusations it's become easier to get up. Just to get up from his lies is a biggie. At least I have found that to be true BUT greater than that is: GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN ME, THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD. I thank God for His faithfulness to me. I used to think that my receiver was broken, but that is a lie too. The more I get up and pull out those weeds (lies) the less the hold he has on me. Praise the Lord.

I wanted to start the program about the Holy Spirit, but since that has seven steps to it, I am going to wait until I finish these steps. Otherwise, I won't be able to keep up. As it is I'm going back to mom's tomorrow she's getting her hair done. I can't stay overnight because I have to be somewhere very early tomorrow morning, and it is closer to my house than it is to her house.

that you all have SON-sational day tomorrow.

[mlg]

Vessel, we fall down...and we get up...and truly it's not how hard we fall...but how quickly we get up...Jesus is there for us...and we can call out to Him and He will answer each and everytime we call...but we have to make the effort to say I have fallen Lord and I need you now...so many have gotten away from calling out to Jesus...thinking they can just do things on their own...but as we know...we are nothing without Him...and that means we need Him to help us get back on our feet...to dust us off and say get back to it my child. Thank God we serve a merciful Lord.

Have a safe trip sis.

luv ya

[momof3]

heya vessel...

as you read in the earlier steps, the battle is in the mind. thats the devil's playground, sis. this is where he planted those seeds..and where they will keep popping up...the secret is taking them captive and casting them down again...replacing them with God's truth. His love and Grace is sufficient. We are all gonna fall and fail...its part of this flesh we carry around with us...and try to die to daily.

Keep going sis....He is within you..and His grace is still sufficient.

God bless you. Youre almost there..to the end of these steps...and look how much He's shown you! He's not finished. He is able to finish what He has begun in you. Keep fighting the good fight.

in Jesus,
love momo

[Vessel of Honour]

Typed Friday and posted Friday
Step #13

The last three days I do not want to repeat they were just awful! Especially Wednesday night and Thursday.



Oh, Fellowship! Something I don't get a lot of. Oh, how I wish I would. I usually do not open up to people. It takes me awhile especially if I know them and it is face to face. I guess I've even come across as stuck up. I don't think I'm stuck up I just freeze up. I start thinking Oh, I can say this or I can say that but I don't because I freeze up. It is easier for me to listen to someone else, but I am not very good as giving counsel, but Think I'm a good listener. It's an awful thing when you do not have anyone to talk to and you don't know who you can trust. That's why I like this forum, nobody really knows who you are, what you look like and where you live. Maybe that's strange, I don't know, but if this was a church gathering I wouldn't be talking because of these reasons and other reasons, but mainly because it's hard to tell who you can trust even in Christian circles. In fact on Thursday when I got to church I was so upset it really showed. I've tried to get to the place where it doesn't gotten pretty good at it (hubby likes that). This Thursday was not the case. In fact one of the ladies noticed my state and showed me a lot of love, she even sent over one of the assistant pastors who prayed for me, but I made sure that hubby wouldn't see. Of course I didn't say anything to her about the situation. I guess nobody would know that we do not have any fellowship with anyone at church except my mom. Most of our friends the few we have are out of state or in the Bronx. We do not have anyone come to our house. Ask them? it's not as easy as it sounds, but I won't go into all that now.

Sorry for all the babble. Sometimes I just need to let it out. This is the place I've chosen to let it out. For years and years I've always kept it in I'M TIRED OF IT CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE DON'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE. SORRY, BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.

Maybe my garden is growing back some weeds, it sure seems like it or maybe these are new weeds I'm not sure.

Well, anyway back to the step #13 fellowship assignment. I've never been on a, or in a chat room before. I hope I figure out how it is done.

That's it for today Thanks for the listening ears or should I say eyes?.

[Dora]

I'm sorry to hear things were bad.

Just want to encourage you that this is a great place to share.

To be yourself, the person God created you.

You are just as you should be at this moment. So no reason to feel you need to apologize or hold back.

Hold on tight there is good things coming one day.

Praying for you.

[mlg]

Vessel, my precious sister

Wow the enemy been knocking on your doorstep huh? Well I got news for ya...he's a big loser and he messes with us to get at God...but God is bigger than he is and God won't let him do more damage than God knows you can handle. It's all going to be ok sis.

As for fellowship...it's so very important and needed in our walks. Anytime you have some extra time to yourself, come here to chat and visit with other fellow Christians...it will be good and healthy fellowship...and the Holy Spirit abides in the midst.

I continue to pray for you sis.

luv ya

[Vessel of Honour]

This is a lot of UGLY stuff. WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! If you don't want to read it, it's understandable.

I'm just as I should be at this moment? well I'm a mess, and as always I can't see past the mess. I'm always hanging on to some day. Some day I'll get well physically. Some day I'll stop coughing all day and night, and stop trying to sleep sitting up. Some day I'll receive my healing of chronic bronchitis and asthma, allergies and nasal problems. Someday the congestion will dry up permanently. Someday my memory will be back to what it was. Some day my hearing will be back to the way it was. Some day my vision, this floater in my GOOD eye will disappear. Some day someone will want to hire me at the age of 58. I'm a graphic artist, can't be having a floater in my eye to do art work on the computer or any were else. Some day I'll be able to learn all the graphic programs that I have not been able to learn because I was so busy working back then and was not able to take the classes I needed to take to improve my skills. Some day (this is a new development) my left hip and leg will be strong again as well as my right shoulder. Some day my marriage will less stressful and more stable. Some day One day What day is that? I don't need it in heaven I need it here.

I'm tired, soooo very tired. I'm supposed to help my 86 year old mom, who I love dearly, she's getting unexpected company on July 7th. He is the son of my mother's school friend. He lives in Germany and has met my mother maybe twice, I've never met him. So he's using my mother's place as a pit stop before he goes back to Germany. Meanwhile, the basement where he will be staying is finished but it is a mess. It is filled with boxes and storage. I wanted to help clean it up but she does not have air conditioning. This year the humidity is doing a number on me. That's because I REFUSE, REFUSE, REFUSE, REFUSE, REFUSE ,REFUSE, did I say REFUSE to take any more steroids. My track record is: taking them just about every 3 weeks for the past 24 years, (some years were better than others but for some years that was the average.) Long term side effects are horrendous. I don't really care what happens. Besides, God is the one who said I was healed by the strips of Jesus, God is the one who said, I have power over all the power of the enemy I didn't come up with the idea, I'm not that gracious. The last time I stopped taking these drugs from hell I almost died. This time by the grace of God I have pushed through. But with the humidity it's harder than it was in the beginning of the year. Well, anyway, the bottom line is I don't think I can help my mother. I looked into a cleaning service and they want at minimum $250. YEA! RIGHT!

So today hubby has been selected along with a few others from my church to lead the men's fellowship. This is going to be interesting. He is so opinionated and what not, I'm just bracing myself. Oh, by the way he's going to be late. He isn't all that happy about doing this men's fellowship. That's a whole book and chapter in itself Things on his end, physically are very challenging as well, some very serious stuff or should I say, can become very serious his liver and his heart. Did you know If something happens to mom or him I don't have anyone on this planet. Oh, I know that God promises to be there exactly what that means I don't know. I have to stop here and thank him because the other night I thought something very bad happened to my mother. I was with her on Wednesday. I left her house and got back to my house at around 9:30. Just before I was about to eat some soup I decided to give her a quick call be for she went to bed at 10:00. She has a phone by her bed. Well it rang and rang. I tried a few minutes later. And again I tried ten minutes after that. I called hubby and told him that I was going there to see if she was alright. He didn't like it that much because of the gas cost, but he said he would stay where he was in case I needed him. I was a basket case all the way there. Well, when I got close to her house he calls me and tells me that she was ok, she never heard the phone. I decided to stay at her house, I was too drained to drive 40 minutes back to my house. She refuses to come and live with me. What a trauma. Anyway the next day, hubby has a hissy fit because he was late for church, wanted to eat and was up set all because he had to move a big heavy box out of my car. I told him just leave it there, we'll take care of it later. NO he had to take care of it right then and there cause of the gas factor, (this all happened at mom's house). Usually, we go to mom's and eat there and then go to church. I wasn't going to go, I was so wiped. Then I started to realize that he was getting on my mother's case because she didn't have the plates out for the food (I forgot also). So, I thought to myself well, isn't this dandy now I have to go. There is no way I'm going to let just him and my mother to together because I don't want him to get on her case (she doesn't need it). Nor can he go alone because he's not the "happy church going kinda of guy that one would think he would be, being saved" and I don't know what could happen. So, needless to say I went with them, I hadn't showered and I was a mess. Like I mentioned in the previous post one of the assistant pastors prayed with me. But I didn't let him know, or should I say it was a quick answer to prayer because he doesn't know that she prayed for me. He doesn't trust her, or our pastor in fact hubby and I, we don't trust each other either. What a mess! Oh! God specializes in messes! So I have heard. I've been a mess so long and the mess has gotten bigger and bigger as the time has gone by.

That brings me to another point I haven't done anything for God. You know the saying I'm sure: What you are is God's gift to you, What you make of yourself is your gift to God Yea what a joke I've made nothing of myself. I guess you could say, I've made one wonderful beautiful weeded garden. I'm even a coward when it comes to witnessing. I sense the Holy Spirit wanting do draw me close to him but of course I get to bogged down and what not, don't have enough time etc. WHY? I don know! When I try, It seams like that I can't get through.


Many years ago, I might have been about 5 years in the Lord I used to think I was a fighter. I've even liked the fact that I was. Not to fight people, but that deep down kinda fighting when you fight the enemy of your soul. But back then there was still time, there was a future to hope for. I don't have a future to hope for. There are many women who fight, and fight hard because of there children. They want to see them grow up, to see them get married, finish school, have grand children. Not me, that wasn't meant for me. And if it was leave it up to me to blow it. I have at least 2 babies in heaven (had 2 miscarriages) and OH HOW I WANT TO SEE THEM. I'm glad they are there I would have made a terrible mother, probably terrible single mother at that. That would have messed them up as well. So I'm glad they are in heaven and NOTHING, NOTHING CAN HURT THEM AND NOTHING HAS EVER HURT THEM.

Well, if you've come to the bottom of this page, I'll be surprised. I'm sorry that I sound like a spoiled brat, or a raging lunatic or a weak christian or a big baby or what ever A BIG BABY AT 58 WHAT A JOKE.

I'm tired soooooooooooo very tired.

P.S. I couldn't figure out the chat room. I do not what an audio chat room. What ever I opened up was blank. I"m not up to it now any how.

[mlg]

woah vessel...anger anger and more anger is consuming you sis...you have got to let go and let God sis...you can not do this all on your own...and you have to quit being angry with your situation...you have to learn to make the best of what you have and what is going on in your life...and stop sweating the small stuff...

I read through all of the page...and I'm going to be honest with you sis...you have let the enemy take over...it's time to allow God to take back your life...God cannot help you if you refuse to allow Him to do so...stop pushing Him away sis...and start calling Him to come help...and accept His help...no His way may not be your way...but I can assure you His way is best. Life is not about what we want sis...but about what God gives us...and He wants to give you good things...but if you are beating up on Him..He can't....Time to let God begin to work.

The chatroom is a typing chatroom and has audio chat for those who want to talk...but most of us type. When you settle down and have more time...try again sis.

Praying for you.

luv ya

[mlg]

Hi sis...had to come tell you something....I luv ya sis very much...and so does Jesus...chin up my precious friend.

[Vessel of Honour]

Thanks mlg, for the extra caring thoughts