Christianity Oasis Forum

[huelsingbroad]

this is my story.
from a small child, i was molested, even raped as a teen. the molestation went on for years, and i never told an adult. i was a very isolated child, and became bisexual, and promiscuious.
although i had good grades, i felt the only thing i was good for was sex. in many ways, every adult i ever knew failed me, and i learned to depend solely on myself. this added to my isolation. i was locked inside myself fearing that no one wanted to know me because i was not the party-girl, woman of loose moral character everybody wanted me to be.
i went thru two counseling programs on this site and GOD has given me freedom from the me i created and allowed the me HE wants me to be to come through.
my husband and i are leaving the swining lifestyle where after a drunken night of porn, we developed a fetish for him with other men.
he is unsaved and really struggles with leaving behind the trap of sexual immorality.
my problem is that it excites my flesh, and turns him on to do those things, to talk about doing them, to seek them out.
but after the flesh is satiated, the spirit is grieved. these things have become integral to our sex life. since he sees nothing wrong with it, i can only pray that GOD will clean up the marriage bed, and be pleased in our bedroom.
he will not ask me to be with other people anymore, but he says he can't give up wanting to have sex with other men. my flesh is so weak.
pray that i will be strengthened in the spirit by truly mortifying the deeds of the flesh

[lizzie]

brave sister, thank you for sharing your heart here.

I am saddened about the abuse that you suffered, but what others did and even what you did, doesnt define you. God sees the real you underneath all that hurt and pain and fear, who you really are and what you can become in Him.

As you shared, God has been working within you and already you see progress in certain areas. Be encouraged and do not give up cuz God is not giving up on you.

43:1
Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

God bless you sister, and welcome to this forum.

[mlg]

Hey sis so very glad to see you here in the SOS forum. I know that you have been thru a lot in your life...but just know that God is a forgiving God. He loves you so very much and He loves your husband. Your husband just doesn't realize that He is that loved. Usually sexual addictions come about because one is looking to fulfill a void....and of course the temporary "high" that comes from the addiction...is sought frequently as it is just that temporary...you know the ONE who can fulfill the void sis...you hang on to Him...and you keep fighting the good fight...and God will keep on strengthening you. Just remember God CAN reach your husband. Don't give up hope.

luv ya