Christianity Oasis Forum

[Christnundrconstruxn]

I have not been open about all things concerning my nightmare called life
but I have prayed for God to stop the punishment that I am going through but now I just found out that the worst is yet to come!!
I have tried to stay possitive and do whats right and ask DAILY for my forgiveness and His guidence only to have the worst case senerio happen
and now I don't know what I'm going to do, it's a good thing I'm not brave (or stupid) enough to end it because now I am about to loose any self respect or dignity that I have left, along with all other things of my life EVERYTHING!!! wasn't it enough that I lost my family and home
I don't know if I can take it, I'm not as strong as some of you and I can't keep pretending to be, I know my favorite scripture says "He will not tempt you beyond your strength" but I feel the limits have been reached
I'm so sorry that I done what I have but that doesn't change ANYTHING
and I just wish I could disappear so at least everyone else's pain and embarrassment caused by me would stop
I'm so sorry I couldn't live up to God's expectations or be the Christian that I thought I was, and I'm sorry for not being strong enough to resist the sick filth that satan planted in my mind.
I love you guys for being there for me and not judging me but I can't help but think if you knew everything at least some of you would not want to be there for me and that's why I couldn't be straight up
God bless ALL of you and I hope He gives you the ability to fight this better than I did
please forgive me and God help me

[mlg]

christianundeconstruction,

For many years people have tried to be good enough for God. God laid out laws for man to follow and man failed miserably. Therefore causing many animals to have to be sacrificed for their sins. God seeing how man faultered loved us so that He saw the need for the ultimate sacrifice to cover ALL sins for those who repent. God sent His only begotten Son, Jesus to die on the cross, so that we all could be forgiven for every sin as long as we repent. christianundeconstruction...God has heard your cries and your repentance...He now provides the forgiveness...and He wants you to know He loves you.

christianundeconstruction, I know you say you haven't shared the entire truth here...but noone here will judge you...we all have our own sins...God sees sin as sin...no one sin is greater in His eyes than another...

Praying for you christian...I know your hurting...and I want you to know we still luv you here very much.

[lizzie]

I'm not as strong as some of you and I can't keep pretending to be

You think ur the only one who lives a life of pretense? Im thinking every single one of us that is in this SOS forum, knows what that feels like. To pretend to be 'all together' when in truth we live with our secret shames.

I'm so sorry I couldn't live up to God's expectations or be the Christian that I thought I was, and I'm sorry for not being strong enough to resist the sick filth that satan planted in my mind

I cannot tell you how many times ive had those same thoughts, of letting God down by giving into sin YET again. But God has been trying to show me lately, that my sin is no surprise to Him. Its not like He was sitting there wondering if i was gonna do that or not... He already knew what id choose. He knew it when He sent Jesus to die for those sins. And that is why He did. Not so we could beat ourselves up when we fall, but so that we could have the hope that Grace promises. No... Grace is not an excuse to sin, but rather the only way out of the strongholds in our lives.

I used to tell myself this...

I have two choices:

1- I give up, chuck it all in, and dont even bother trying anymore
OR
2- I get up and keep going and try to do better in the future

Now, mentally ive taken choice #1 out of the equation, where it is just not an option anymore. For me the only option in my mind is choice 2. Quitting is NOT an option. In my darkest times I remind myself that quitting is NOT an option.

God is with you, do not lose hope brother. In our suffering and our weakness, we are offered the opportunity to open ourselves up to the Lord in a way that could not be possible if we were whole and free from trials.

You are not in this alone, no matter how lonely you may feel sometimes. Lean on us, and let us be here for u.

I am praying for you

[Christnundrconstruxn]

I am so scared of where things are going and I don't know that I can handle it or not!
I never would have imagined it would come to this but it has.
I know it's said that He will anwser prayers in His time but if His time doesn't come soon I'm affraid of where things will end, it's as I said before, I had lost eveything that matters over this and now I'm about to loose everything else, so all I have left is my faith and satan is wearing that down also, I just need to know by the Lords touch that He IS still in control
I do love the lord and serving Him, but because of my current problems I wonder if I did enough to prove my love to Him or if this is a trial to test my endurence of my faith, if so I hope I make it because I don't want to loose all I have left... Him and my faith, Lizzie you are right I have opened myself up to the Lord in ways I never had before but I'm allowing the issues at hand detour me from that and I hate that because I was enjoying where I was with God and was going to higher levels than I'd ever been with him before, and I was slowly "pureifing" my life and was proud of who I wanted to become instead of ashamed of who I was.
Please keep praying for me because I need prayer more than ever right now, God bless and with love

[mlg]

christianundeconstruction...my prayers for you definitely continue....something I noticed in your shared words was that you state you've lost everything that matters...but in reality...you have found something more than anything and that is a True relationship with God.

What we have to do is look at trials not as something bad but as an opportunity to bring glory to God. Show the Jesus within you by fighting the good fight of faith. You can do this.

Here for you

luv ya

[Christianity Oasis]

Luv the honesty and candor ...

I agree with the responses.

Keep on keeping on ...

Prayers are rising ...

God's will ... Be done.


Luv ya

[Christnundrconstruxn]

I had to write and praise our God for bringing me through the worst.
I'm about to tell you guys something that I couldn't say before because of 2 reasons, 1st legalities and 2nd ashamed.
Porn addiction caused me to think of filth that I never would dream of myself doing without the sexual addiction it caused.
I almost acted on one of the thoughts but was stopped and I realized what I was doing but it was too late, now I know what was going through my mind was wrong and hurtful to someone I loved VERY much but as the saying goes "a day late and a dollar short" and no matter how bad I wished I could take it back I can't BUT I can do right from today forward and hope that the Lord restores my family and makes me the man He chose me to be instead of what the devil had turned me into!!
The Lord chose to stop any legal action towards me and give me the chance to prove myself and prove that I'm NOT that man and NEVER will be again.
so I guess what I'm mostly trying to say is God in his time put his hand on me and finally said ENOUGH!!
He has chosen to give me the opportunity to be what He wanted so now the ball is in my court and I'm going for the game shot!!
And I want to thank you all for your prayers and ask that you keep praying because it will be a long road and I'm going to need all the help I can get BUT KNOW THIS I'M NOT GOING BACK!!!!
I LOVE MY GOD AND MAY HE BLESS YOU ALL AS HE HAS ME.

[Dora]

Yeah God!

Continuing to pray for you brother.

[mlg]

Definitely will be keeping you in prayers. This is an opportunity that God has presented you with...a chance for you to show Him that you are True to Him forever...God loves you very much...and now He wants to use what you have been through as a testimony to help others. So for others who are where you have been...you can now reach for them and show them there is HOPE and a Way out of the sin they are living in day after day.

luv ya

[Christianity Oasis]

Amen ...

Many choose to seek ways to CON-demn us for past choices, but GOD is our ONLY judge and HE is all about Love, Grace and Mercy.

We need NOBODY else's authorization to be able to get back up and try again.

Keep on keeping on bro.

Luv ya

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Good morning my C.O. family,
I just wanted to say I have been praying for my oasis family (all of you)
and I also wanted to say that God is continuing to open doors for me,
he has given me an opportunity to be out on my own instead of staying with family until this is healed and I HOPEFULLY move back in with my wife and kids if that is Gods plan.
I still am stumbling with the porn BUT when I do I think of the most beautiful woman in my life... my wife which is were my focus should have been from the start and none of this would have happened, so it's kinda strange I use to look at others and imagine, now I look at others but see my wife and yearn to be with her instead of fantasizing of these other women AND I LOVE IT!!!! "of course I wished I was really with her so I could show her how much I love her and miss her, before if I had said that it would have meant of the sexual nature but now it is totally different... I just wished I could hold her and show her that I was wrong for the way I used to look at things (don't get me wrong I still have those thoughts and feelings for her) but it's not the priority feelings that the porn used to make to be
CO wrote [Many choose to seek ways to CON-demn us for past choices]
that is what is happening with my wife and a few of our friends, it hurts but I have given that to God and ask that He allows them forgiveness in their hearts because I don't want them to be unforgiven because they hold on to the hatred, of course I want to be forgiven by them so we can get past this BUT the first is the main reason, I have asked God to see this happen even if I don't know it...ever
MLG wrote [you have found something more than anything and that is a True relationship with God.] you are right I have grown closer to God through all this and I plan to get even closer
Lizzie I pick choice #2 also.
I love you guys and I will continue to pray for all of you as I hope you will do the same for me
God bless

[mlg]

Hey my friend, I see God opening doors for you now. God is sooo very faithful to those who love Him. His blessings outnumber what we think possible...and now that you are seeking His will...He is bringing you healing, Hope and a reborn life. Just make sure that you truly seek God's will even if His will is NOT your will...cuz He does know what is best.

Keep on fighting the fight against the porn...redirect your thoughts each and every time you feel the temptation...control the mind and lean on God...that's the key.

luv ya